An empty-ish nest

OK, I know it's not really empty -- Teen A is still here! In fact, he's asleep in his bedroom right now (at 1:13 pm). But he's so independent. The nest is starting to empty, let's say that. I'm thrilled... and also feeling the loss.

Teen A actually started classes at Metro last Monday, driving himself to Denver each day (Monday through Thursday -- he has no classes on Friday). He asked me to wake him up at 8:30, which I did each day (his classes start at 11 on Monday and Wednesday and 12 on Tuesday and Thursday), but gradually he started waking himself up. I'd like to stop being my kids' alarm clock, so we'll work on that. I also want to be less involved with their homework, etc., but I can see that's going to be tricky too. I couldn't help saying to him, once or twice (maybe more than twice), "do you have any homework?" "have you started your homework yet?" "shouldn't you be working on your online classes?" Etc. The transition is hard. On the plus side, I did show him how to do his own laundry and he did a load (but only one). Baby steps.

He had a little trouble getting his books ("I don't know where to go..." "I don't know where the bookstore is..." "I went in the bookstore, but I didn't see the book...", but finally on Friday he managed to pick up his Meteorology book at the campus bookstore. $211! I argued for a digital version ("Nah, that's too much work...") or a rental ("But Dad will want to keep it..."), but we ended up buying a hardback that we will keep. In fact, the book looks very interesting and maybe I will read it. (But not TO Teen A -- new college policy on homework, he has to read it himself.)

The book for his history class had to be ordered directly from the publisher, so we did that. Only $53. It's supposed to arrive tomorrow. 

Parking in the 7th Street Garage is very expensive. I guess I'm going to buy him a parking permit (also very expensive, but cheaper than paying each day). I thought he would be taking the bus at least some of the time, but that doesn't seem to be happening. We're figuring this all out.

Also on Monday, Teen B and I took one last shopping trip. He wanted more clothes, although I wasn't totally sure what he was looking for. We went to Kohl's, wandered around the extensive, confusing men's department. We looked at pants, but none of them appeared to be baggy. "Are baggy pants out of style now?" I wondered aloud. I googled it, but AI reassured me that they were still in style. Then why doesn't Kohl's seem to have any? We moved on to Walmart (in the same shopping center) and there he found two pairs of pants and a CSU t-shirt to go with his other two. 

And then we went to Starbucks, one last time. It was the last day of the horrible Unicorn Frappuccino, so he got that (and then was sorry).

The next day, Tuesday, Teen A drove the Prius V off to Denver again and Rocket Boy, Teen B, and I packed up the Highlander and drove to Fort Collins. 

We got there a little before 2 pm, his official move-in time slot, but they were happy to let us get started right away. First we walked to his dorm room, to take a look at it. It was full of people! His roommate and four relatives were taking up quite a bit of space in the small room. The dad and mom introduced themselves to us, as did the other people, but I immediately forgot everyone's name. We left to go get a load of stuff and when we got back they were all gone, obviously leaving us alone to get settled.

I unpacked the suitcases, finding places for all of Teen B's clothes (including the new ones). I hung all the clothes in the closet according to color (which is how I organize my own clothes too), knowing that Teen B will mix everything up as soon as he does his first load of laundry. Rocket Boy made the bed. Teen B set up his electronics, plugging them into his new power strip. He stowed his small suitcase under the bed and we put the big one, now empty, back in the car to take home with us. We explored a little, went down in the basement to inspect the laundry room (and I gave Teen B a quick lesson in how to use the machines), looked at the recreation room and the communal kitchen and the mini-mart.

We were all very hungry at this point, so we went to an Olive Garden that wasn't too far away. I hadn't been to an Olive Garden in donkey's years, but it didn't seem to have changed much. I had mushroom ravioli, which was pretty good, and both Teen B and Rocket Boy had seafood alfredo. Teen B, unfortunately, lost his lunch in the parking lot afterwards, but I think that was just nerves. We stopped at a King Soopers to buy him some laundry pods, and I also bought some chewable Pepto-Bismol and some special drinks, as a treat. 

It was so hard to say goodbye. He won't let anyone hug him, so I couldn't do that, just patted him briefly (he immediately pulled away). "You can come home every weekend, if you want," I told him. "I'll come get you this weekend -- Friday, Saturday, whenever you want me to." "Mmhm," he said, noncomittally. We left.

The next few days were stressful for us. I tried not to text Teen B unnecessarily, knowing that if he wanted to be in contact with me, he would be. He asked me to send him pictures of the cats, and I did so, a few times. I made dinner, I did the laundry, I encouraged Teen A to buy his textbooks. I talked to a nurse about my knee surgery (this coming Thursday).

I wasn't sure if he'd want me to come get him on Friday or Saturday. On Thursday, something he'd ordered arrived at our house, and when I told him that, he asked me when he should come get it -- Friday or Saturday? I told him I could come to Fort Collins either day. Rocket Boy actually called him from work on Friday afternoon to see if he wanted him to come get him, but Teen B was vague. Rocket Boy decided to just come straight home. We had a power failure that night (some weird underground electrical fire up at Kohler Reservoir), and I texted Teen B about it. But he didn't say anything about wanting me to come to FC the next day.

Saturday morning around 11 am, Teen B texted me: "Are u awake?" I said I was and did he want me to come bring him his package? He replied "maybe." A little while later he added, "I'm outside the house."

WHAT?

I opened the front door and looked out. And here came Teen B, walking up the drive. He had taken THREE buses to get from Fort Collins to Boulder (a FC city bus, the FLEX which goes from Fort Collins to Boulder, and then probably a Skip to get home). I knew he knew how to do this -- he'd researched it a few weeks before. But he'd also dismissed it as being too much trouble. And now here he was in the flesh. He'd done it.

"Where's my package?" he asked, and I went and got it for him. He also wanted his old backpack because, he said, "That shower caddy we bought is useless. I need something to put my clean clothes in. A backpack works better." So we found his old backpack and he put it on under his new one.

"Are you going to stay overnight? I can drive you back tomorrow in time for the meeting" (he had an orientation meeting scheduled for Sunday at 10:30 am).  

"No, I want to be back for the movie today. It starts at 3." It was 11:30 at this point. 

"Ohhhkay," I said. "I can drive you, but we should leave by 1:00."

"No, I'll take the bus back," he said. It turned out the next bus didn't leave until 2:10, so he would be late for the movie, but he didn't mind. He obviously wanted to take the bus himself, be in charge of his own destiny. 

He did allow Rocket Boy to make him some lunch (three poached eggs) and he asked me if I could print out a map of the campus, so he could see where his classes are. This turned out to be a little complicated. The campus is so huge that it took two sheets of paper to print enough of the map to get all his classes onto it. Then we had to research where his buildings are. He's basically going to be walking miles and miles every week, but it'll be good for him. Maybe he'll even start riding a bicycle again (after avoiding bikes ever since that accident back in 2015). I'll wait until he asks us to buy him one. I'm getting the sense that anything could happen now.

He let me drive him to where he could catch the FLEX, so he didn't have to bother with a Skip. The bus was already there, idling. I wondered if anyone else was on it. "Goodbye," I said. "Have a good week." I didn't ask whether he wants to come home the next weekend. He knows I can't come get him, because I'm having knee surgery on Thursday. But he also knows he could come by himself. The bus doesn't run on Sundays, but he could come home Friday, go back Saturday afternoon, all by himself. Mind-blowing.

Saturday night, Rocket Boy and I drove to Longmont and had dinner at Aunt Alice's. Teen A didn't want to come along, and of course Teen B was back in Fort Collins. Before dinner, we drove by the house that our tenants have purchased. They're having a wheelchair ramp put in. It looked like a nice house, in a pleasant neighborhood. I'm so happy for them, but I will miss them too. 

Today, Sunday, I missed Teen B a lot. There was nobody who wanted to go to Starbucks with me. Normally, Teen B and I get Teen A something when we go, so I thought he might be interested, but he wasn't. He mostly feeds himself these days. Finally, around 4 pm, Rocket Boy wanted to go to Home Depot, so I went along and we stopped at Starbucks on the way back. I got an Iced S'mores Chai, because it won't be available much longer. The fall menu launches on Tuesday, but Teen B won't be here to try a Hedgehog Cake Pop.

I'm going to be OK. In fact, I'm going to be FINE. But I miss him. And at the same time I'm so happy that he's growing up.