School's out...

..and isn't that a relief! When the kids were younger, I dreaded the end of school because it meant I would have no privacy for three months. That's still true, but I'm still really glad school is over. No more homework for three months. I can give up my privacy for that. I think.

I'll just write a short post today because I'm tired. This weekend was the Boulder Creek Festival, downtown, and Teen B and I went to it for a few hours this afternoon. We tried to get Teen A to go with us last night, the idea being that we would get dinner there, but he just wouldn't do it. So I told Teen B we would go today and he could do the two things he really wanted to do: get Kona Ice from the truck (which was going to be at the fair) and walk over to the Rocket Fizz candy store on the Pearl Street Mall so he could get some stuff there. I thought I could live through that. And I did. Barely.

Leaving about 3:30 pm, we took the bus to Broadway & Canyon, since he has a bus pass and parking would be dreadful. The last time we went to this -- in, hmm, 2018? 2017? -- the Kona Ice truck was near the Teahouse, so we headed over there, along with 50 million other people. But we couldn't find it. I did see a stand selling "Giant Turkey Legs" and people standing around happily eating giant turkey legs, but that wasn't what we wanted. So we decided to try over by the library.

The last time we went to this, the library parking lot was full of rides, but this time it just had food trucks and booths selling stuff. Maybe there weren't any rides this year, except the bounce houses for little kids. However, we did find the Kona Ice truck, so I bought Teen B an ice (for $8) and we found a bench near the library to sit on while he ate it. Then he was sticky, so we went inside the library to wash up. The old restrooms have been converted into a gender neutral restroom with a guard posted just outside (to observe and intervene if anyone tries to smoke meth).

We were both pretty trashed at this point (it was hot), but I agreed to walk over to Pearl Street so he could go to Rocket Fizz. I was wearing a dress, a black summer sweater, and sandals, and I suppose if I had been wearing pants, sneakers, and a hat, I might have lasted longer. As it was, I kept thinking I was going to keel over from exhaustion. I'm sure I got dehydrated.

Teen B kept saying to me, "Who are all these people? Do they live in Boulder? Where do they come from?" and I tried to explain that the Creekfest and Pearl Street in general are "destinations," that people might come here from all over the Denver metropolitan area (and beyond) as a way to celebrate Memorial Day weekend. He just shook his head. (That's his tie-dyed sleeve in the photo, by the way.)

He chose a bottle of butterscotch soda and some candy at Rocket Fizz and then we headed back to Broadway to wait for a bus. We only had to wait about 10 minutes and then had the blessed ride home. And when we made it back inside our house (at about 6 pm) I announced that I was NOT making dinner tonight, so DON'T ask me what we're having. I'm so tired, so thirsty. Looking forward to bedtime.

It's been that kind of a weekend, starting with Friday. But tomorrow is Monday, and even though it's Memorial Day, I plan to get right back on schedule. I've been going to bed too late and getting up too late, the last few days, and that must stop. I want to aim for lights out by midnight and getting up around 8 am. That would be a good summer schedule. We must begin as we plan to go on. 

Teen A did yardwork with me on Friday, per my schedule, including dragging a million leaf bags out to be picked up by the compost truck, and then we mowed the lawn on Saturday, so he earned $10 for the two days, which pleased him greatly. Oh, and on Saturday afternoon we went to McGuckin's and bought him some good gloves like mine (and some for Teen B, if he decides to help), as well as a new pair of clippers for me and a new saw for him and a beautiful new indoor/outdoor broom. So we're all set to continue our yardwork odyssey, starting tomorrow. I don't know if he'll want to work every weekday, but he does like money, so we'll see.

I made a new daily schedule for summer, putting yardwork first, and then cleaning, both in the morning. The afternoon can be for files, writing, and reading, because it's hotter then, and I get lazier as the day goes on.

A few days ago, I was looking at my old Ridgecrest blog, to try to help me remember something. I didn't find what I was looking for, but I found an adorable post from summer 2012 in which the twins had assembled a train track and then put it to bed for a nap. I often think that my Ridgecrest blog was much funnier than this blog, but I had such good material back then! Nowadays the twins do not put train tracks to sleep, they play video games and fix themselves ramen in the microwave. It's just not the same.

But I'm glad they're growing up and I'm especially glad that they've finished 9th grade. Only three more years of high school to go. We can do this.

May, lovely May

What can you say about this month other than ahhhhhh? So lovely! We had more rain this week, so much rain that everything just exploded. Dandelions, onions, grass, weeds (I suppose the dandelions are weeds, but they're so pretty).

I've started planting my flower boxes, but I'm not done, so no pictures yet. 

In addition to the rain, we also had very poor air quality, due to forest fires in Canada. But it's better today. We're in the "Moderate" category on AirNow.gov, rather than "Unhealthy" where we've been the last two days. Friday in particular was weird, because we also had heavy rain that day. The combination of the dark rain clouds and the dark particulate matter made the sky and the mountains look spooky.

But today, as I said, is better. It's very pretty out there. Since it didn't rain yesterday, Teen A and I went out and mowed -- a small section of the back yard and then the front yard. And while we were working on the front yard, what did we see but BEES! Actual honeybees, and maybe some native bees, going from flower to flower. I believe those are the first bees I've seen this year. It's been terrible -- the cold weather we had apparently killed everybody's hives.

So we didn't mow down ALL the dandelions. We left two sections of them -- some with the onions around the honey locust tree, and then a big patch around what's left of the birch tree. It's hard to mow in those areas anyway, might as well leave it for the bees (for now, while the dandelions are blooming). I went out again half an hour after we finished and there were still bees in the patches we left.

And of course, the back yard is still full of dandelions, though they're going to seed.

This was a decently productive week, despite the rain (which always lowers my spirits). It could have been better, but I take what I can get. I didn't do very well with the files. I worked on them a couple of days, but didn't get very far. Going through the files on dead people, I'm learning things about them I hadn't known before. 

I spent a lot of time staring at pieces of paper, trying to decide whether the information on them would be of any use to anyone, ever. Mostly, I concluded, it wouldn't. Rocket Boy would probably be the only person even mildly interested in most of it, and he's unlikely to go back into it because it makes him sad. Our kids, with their dyslexia and general hatred of reading, just won't care. Maybe one of them will marry an amateur historian, so for that imaginary future relative I am saving some stuff. But the papers from our old neighbor -- he had no kids, his nieces and nephews are displeased with us because we inherited and they didn't... and they're getting old too. I wouldn't throw away pictures or important documents, but things like financial arguments with banks and lists of people he used to work with -- from the 1970s... I mostly let it go.

I didn't do much cleaning this week, but I don't care. I kept up with the dishes and the laundry, the cooking (enough, anyway) and shopping, the litter boxes and paying bills. Vacuuming and dusting and mopping and all that can wait until June.

I re-read my novel to myself, out loud, and I'm pleased with it, but it does need work. I'm not sure I have the pacing right -- maybe certain clues should come earlier or later in the story. I suppose one gradually learns how to write a mystery novel, but you'd think I'd be better at it considering how many I've read.

The project I had the most success with was the yard. Despite the rainy weather, I filled five leaf bags, one for each weekday. On Friday, it was pouring while I worked, so I focused on a horrible juniper that is right next to the (covered) patio. I hacked it almost to bits -- Rocket Boy is not going to be happy. But I hate that particular juniper. I hate all our junipers, but I especially hate that one.

On another day, I started working on the forsythia. This was hard, because I love the forsythia, but it's a mess and it didn't bloom at all this year. From what I've read, it needs to be cut WAY back, and now is the time. So I got to work, cutting and cutting.

Rocket Boy couldn't have done this -- and it was upsetting for me too, especially when I accidentally cut off a branch with green leaves. I still have at least another day's work to do here -- there are so many dead branches. 

This weekend we are working on final papers and studying for finals. Yesterday Teen B played with the band at the graduation ceremony, and that counts as his band final. Tomorrow (Monday), Teen A has his science final and Teen B has his math final and his government final. Tuesday, Teen A has math and language arts (he finished his paper today), and Teen B has German. Wednesday, Teen A has world geography (we're working on his slide show) and Teen B has language arts (we're working on his paper) and science. Thursday, Teen A has Spanish and Teen B has nothing.

This is definitely not "Renew Your Spirit" day -- sorry, FlyLady. After we did the yardwork, I made a schedule with six 45-minute slots and had the kids sign up for them to work with me. The first few sessions were productive, and then it fell apart. Teen B and I are supposed to be studying for his government final right now and instead we've both conveniently "forgotten" about it.

I should pull myself together and get him to work on it. He hates that class. I know he just wants it all to be over. The teacher seems to be somewhat on autopilot and didn't give them any guidance as to how to study for the final.

***

I got the bad news from the Colorado Sleep Institute on Tuesday -- yep, I have sleep apnea. I wanted to ask the guy whether anyone referred to them ever doesn't have sleep apnea, but I resisted. I'm ready to work on this. I'm so tired all the time. Apria Healthcare called on Friday and I gave them my credit card number for a deposit on a CPAP, which I will receive "in three weeks." Why so long? Who knows. I've been reading descriptions online of how long it takes people to get used to the machine -- apparently some people never get used to it. I'm going to try.

Rocket Boy is unhappy about this development -- he doesn't want me to be someone who has to wear a device to bed. Even though HE has to wear a device to bed, the pump that helps his leg (he does take it off before he goes to sleep, so I guess that's different). I think it's because he associates CPAPs with lazy fat people. I sort of do too, to be honest. 

I had a couple of moments this week where I had to face up to who I am right now. At the orthodontist on Thursday they showed me the pictures that were taken before I got my braces, to show me how far I'd come. The photos were horrible! I looked fat and dumpy, with limp, graying hair. And of course, terrible teeth. My teeth are much better now, but I don't suppose any of the rest has changed.

Then, today, working with Teen B on language arts, he used his Chromebook and some sort of graphics program to take a video of me. I was sitting in our blue chair, which is quite low to the ground and has also sunk over the years, so it's even lower to the ground. There I was, my large fat body sinking into the sinking chair, GLARING at Teen B because he was doing this instead of working on language arts...

It occurred to me that my feelings about who I am just do not match my physical self. Not just the fat -- when I see pictures of myself, I look angry, bossy, dictatorial. I look like a single mother of difficult teenage boys who doesn't take good care of herself because she figures, why bother?

And I thought, can I change myself to match how I feel inside? Or should I try to change my internal image of myself to match reality? It's a puzzle.

Well, it's 5:30 pm, so I should go deal with something -- put away laundry, try to get Teen B to study for his government final, clean the cats' litter boxes (Baby Kitty has diarrhea), start making dinner. Or maybe a nap? I have a slightly scratchy throat and feel a little off. Maybe I'm getting sick, maybe I'm fighting something off. Maybe I'm just tired.

I don't want to end on a bad note. It's still the most beautiful month of the year (October is a close second). It makes me so happy to be out of doors in May.

Mother's Day and rain

I can't believe how much rain we had this week! It's not actually raining right now, despite -- or because of -- the "100% chance of showers" forecast. You do get the sense that the weather reads its own forecast and intentionally does the opposite. But rain is coming, possibly every day this week. I don't mind it, even though my mood is so strongly affected by gray skies. I appreciate how green everything looks. Later in the summer it'll be hot and dry and we'll miss this.

I'm having a pleasant, low-key Mother's Day. Rocket Boy sent a box of chocolate and a card. I also bought myself a card (the one on the right) and told the kids to sign it. Is that too weird? Too pathetic? It may be. I worried about that while I was choosing it, at Target. Still, it was fun to pick exactly the right card for myself. I don't really have anyone to give a Mother's Day card to anymore -- no mother, no grandmothers, no one in my life who plays the role of a mother, no mother I know who doesn't have anyone to remember her.

I also bought myself a cake. I didn't want to go to a restaurant last night because both kids are still coughing (Teen B stayed home from school three days last week), so I said I'd get them McDonald's. (My dinner was leftovers that dated back to Monday, too old to serve to anyone else, but I enjoyed them.) On the way to McDonald's, in the pouring rain, I stopped at Safeway to look at cakes. I had told the kids I wanted a pink or white cake with flowers on it, but I ended up getting this big chocolate cake. We haven't had any yet. We've reached this state that I always enjoy: the house is so full of sweets that I don't feel like I have to eat any of them. But we will have a piece of cake soon.

I did not buy myself a bouquet of flowers -- instead, yesterday I went to the pop-up nursery in the back of the Table Mesa shopping center parking lot and bought flowers to plant! So fun, one of my favorite activities every year. As I told Teen B, who went with me, this is just my first trip. I will undoubtedly go back multiple times, because I have lots of places to plant things. But this is a good start.

There are little yellow marigolds (Rocket Boy's favorite flower, so I always plant some), blue lobelia, pink impatiens, purple petunias, yellow violas, and purple browallia. There is also a cherry tomato plant, and I got a cucumber and a melon, as an experiment. One year we had a volunteer squash plant in the "perennial" area of the yard, which is full of weeds and all the perennials we plant there die. I thought I'd spade up all the weeds and try growing the cucumber and the melon. Worth a shot. The volunteer squash never actually put on any fruit -- I think it was too late in the year when it got going -- but it made a lot of leaves and seemed happy in that location otherwise. 

I was going to plant them today, but I think I'll wait a day or two. Maybe I'll plant a few things each day this coming week. 

Oh, and I saw a hummingbird! I heard it, and then it came to the feeder! So exciting!

***

This was a productive week, despite having a kid home sick on three of the days. I couldn't do any writing, and I only worked on the files three of the days, but that's OK. I did yardwork all five days, and I am really pleased at how that's going. On Friday I put out eight leaf bags (I put out one more after taking this photo), plus the compost bin itself was full. I wasn't sure the compost collectors would want the sopping wet sacks, but I watched a guy pick up each one and throw it in the truck. 

Now I can start again on Monday. I'll aim for nine bags for the next collection (compost is picked up every two weeks), with the compost bin being #10. 

Even working on the files only three days, I got a lot done. I've changed the organization of the file cabinet again, based on what I've been finding. Previously, this had been the plan:

1. Medical, vision, dental records for all four of us
2. Pets' vet records, and files related to Rocket Boy's brother, his parents, and our old next-door neighbor
   
3. Vehicles and their paperwork; files on places we used to live or properties we used to own
4. A bunch of Rocket Boy's old files on pointless things that we don't need to keep.

Now, it is starting to look more like this:

1. Medical, vision, dental records for me and Rocket Boy only (there's a lot -- we're old)
   
2. Dependents: pets' vet records, files related to RB's brother, and files related to the twins, including their medical-dental-vision records, school stuff, etc.
   
3. Vehicle records and anything else that needs a home from other drawers. Memberships, subscriptions, travel, activities.
   
4. Records relating to dead people and properties we used to own or live in. Right now I have more than a file drawer full, but seriously, why do we need more than one file drawer on this stuff? Dead people, places we don't live anymore -- let it go!

I had hoped to spend next week working on the third file cabinet, but I think I just have to keep working on this file cabinet, at least on Monday and Tuesday, probably Wednesday too. I continue to find massive quantities of things that don't need to be saved. For instance -- a huge file of articles and brochures on breastfeeding! That ship has sailed, ya know? It all went in the recycling bin.

I spent a lot of time last week working with Teen B on his homework -- he had a lot of missing assignments that I helped him make up. We also finished reading Of Mice and Men together and worked on some related assignments for Language Arts. I hadn't read that book in many decades and I was surprised that it holds up so well. Steinbeck really was a talented writer. Every line, every phrase does a lot of work. I don't love everything he's written -- my book group read East of Eden many years ago and I thought it was stupid. But when he's good, he's very very good.

For his Language Arts class, Teen A had to read a memoir, his choice from a list that I did not see, and he chose Anne Frank's Diary of a Young Girl, because he thought it would be short. 

It's not short. I've been reading it to him every day for the last two weeks -- we finally finished today -- and it's been a slog. But so heartbreaking. At the end you want to reach in and change history. How is it possible that they all died, except Otto Frank, all those extremely human, flawed, imperfect people? I am not sure I'd ever read the Diary before, not all the way through. Or if I did, I read a shorter version. This was the 75th anniversary edition, "the definitive edition." The library's copy was checked out, and I couldn't find it at the Bookworm, so I gave Barnes & Noble $15 or whatever for it. I think it was money well spent. I keep tearing up, thinking about it.

***

The parent support group that I've been attending for the last, hmm, four years? ended this week, because the leader is retiring and her replacement won't be running the group. We went out to lunch on Tuesday, about a dozen of us. It was nice. I'll miss the group. I stopped going to my other support group, because I felt I didn't need it anymore, but now I won't have anything like this to do anymore -- just my book group. I'll have to think about whether I need a replacement and what that might be.

The group was all female -- a few men have attended through the years, but no one regularly -- and it was a mix of ages, from probably 30s to 60s. At one point we got to talking about menopause. One woman said that she'd asked lots of menopausal women what it's like and they all said the same thing: you don't give a damn about what people think anymore. Another woman said perimenopause is awful but once you're truly in menopause, life is great. And they talked about how you become invisible and how great that is.

I tried to interrupt and give my perspective, but I couldn't break through. I've heard this stuff before and I simply don't agree with it. I give just as much of a damn about what people think of me as I did before menopause. Maybe more, because since I feel less pretty, I feel somewhat unworthy of taking up space. In addition, there are many things about menopause that I dislike, such as what it's done to my hair! I used to have long, thick hair -- now it only grows to a certain length and then stops, and it's thin and not beautiful (though it's an interesting color right now, a mixture of silver and gold). Also, after menopause it's much harder to lose weight, and belly fat becomes a real problem for many women. 

And then there's the stuff that's harder to talk about -- and I probably wouldn't have mentioned it at the lunch -- but it's real. I remember when my hormone levels dropped, it was as though I'd become a different person. I no longer responded to everything in a sexual way. I remembered what sex was, but I didn't experience it the same way anymore. I remember particularly that certain books that had always made me feel a certain way didn't do it anymore. I could read a description of a sex scene and not respond at all. Some of that's come back, but it's like losing a portion of your brain, or one of your senses, and having to reconstruct it using other parts of your brain. 

And I know it's not just me! I remember when it was happening I talked to my acupuncturist about it (I had an acupuncturist back then -- the good old days) and she said EVERY woman she'd treated who was "of a certain age" complained about this. So there. 

But I probably wouldn't have felt comfortable bringing it up at the lunch. Still, I would have liked to have mentioned the hair problem, because I wasn't expecting that and it would have been nice to be warned. But I don't think anyone wanted to hear anything negative. It's strange.

***

So, here comes Week 3 of May. All I've got on the schedule is the orthodontist, for me and Teen B, and my book group on Tuesday night, oh, and my follow-up appointment with the Colorado Sleep Institute, where they'll probably tell me I need a CPAP. Sigh. 

Hopefully both kids will attend school every day -- they're both still coughing, but I think we're done with staying home. I'll work in the yard and work on the files and clean and, I hope, work on my novel. 

I'm thinking about the next book. It would be nice to work on both books at once -- editing the first one and drafting the second. But I don't know. Maybe I need to focus on just one. I'll see. For Mother's Day I treated myself to a new Barbie (actually a Skipper), because I had a feeling she had a role to play in the next book. She's the one in the middle in this (somewhat blurry) photo, with the flowered dress and strawberry blonde hair. I've been trying to obtain her for a few years, but she's always been too expensive. Then I saw her on eBay for $14 -- used, no accessories, no box, but in good condition. I clicked "buy now" and just a few days later she arrived. But before she got here, I accidentally bought another Barbie, the one in psychedelic pants. I saw her in Target on Thursday. I'd been meaning to buy her at some point, but not that day -- but she just jumped into my cart. It's OK. She has an important role to play in the new novel too. She's going to be the librarian (the book takes place partly at the library).

I tell this stuff to the kids and they just roll their eyes. "I don't want to hear about your dumb Barbies" is Teen B's usual response. Teen A can be more cutting: "And what makes you think I care?"

Fortunately, this blog doesn't talk back.

I didn't do too well with cooking this week -- one night we had leftovers, one night I just said "feed yourselves" -- but I made curry on Monday and goulash on Tuesday, and then finally on Friday I made the empanadas that had been bothering me for the previous two days. Then today (I know, Mother's Day), I decided to make runzas with the leftover empanada filling. So they're doing their second rise right now, and in a few minutes I'll bake them. I have not made runzas in eons, the recipe seemed completely unfamiliar, and I'm having a bit of a crisis over the baking temperature -- my grandmother's recipe says "350 or 375." Which is it??? I googled runza recipes and found 350, 375, and 400. Maybe it doesn't matter.

Assuming they're edible, we can have leftovers tomorrow night, and then I'll have to plan the rest of the week. I still have masses of leftover Mexican cheese (from Teen A missing his Cinco de Mayo party last week, on account of being sick), so I'll probably need to make another Mexican dish. It's fine. We have to eat, so I have to cook. Happy Mother's Day!

Happy May

May is such a great month! Even though we're only a step away from winter, and we can still have snow, it isn't looking like it. I just checked the weather forecast for the week ahead and every single day and night there is a chance of rain -- except Monday, for some reason -- but all the chances are little, like 20% and "slight chance." What that usually means is that it will rain, but only a little bit. This sort of weather is my favorite. Not too hot, not too cold, and things stay green without watering. 

Our only flowers so far are dandelions, grape hyacinth, and the two onions in the picture above, but lots more onions are coming. Alliums, I guess I'm supposed to call them. The iris are always a surprise: will they bloom? how many? what color? You can't tell yet. And the lilac won't bloom for weeks yet. Meanwhile, I need to plant flowers, but I'm holding off until next weekend.

I put up my hummingbird feeder, but haven't seen a hummer yet. One day when I was working in the yard I thought I heard one (our hummers make noise), but then it was gone and I never saw it. Still, must be ready. I'll change out the sugar water tomorrow, even though I don't think this batch has been tasted. You have to keep it fresh.

I had a very productive week, though it didn't start out too well. On Monday I picked up my kit for the sleep apnea test, and that night I put all the apparatus on and tried to go to sleep. It was terrible! I can't remember a worse night in my life. I had an awful time falling asleep and I kept waking up again and having to start over. The worst part of it was the little tube I had to have in my mouth, part of the cannula that was making it possible to measure my oxygen levels. I found it terribly irritating. I really wonder what the test is going to show, and whether the results will be accurate. Still 9 days to go until my next appointment.

Aside from that test and how tired I felt the next day, I did have a very good week. As I mentioned last week, for May I have simplified my weekday schedule into four main tasks: FlyLady, writing, the files, and yardwork. I figured out quickly that I needed to switch yardwork to the morning, because by the middle of the afternoon (a) it can be quite hot, (b) a thunderstorm may be threatening, and (c) stinging insects are more likely to be flying around. At 10 am, none of that is true, though later in the summer I may have to start even earlier.

I'm so excited about my progress with the yardwork! I don't have a "before" picture, but I think you can see from this one what I did. The junipers were formerly almost completely covering the path -- they were touching the cellar door. Now we can push the lawnmower through the yard around to the front yard, so we can mow. That was my goal and I achieved it.

I filled a leaf bag every day. On Friday, Teen A stayed home from school because he had a bad cold, and he came out and helped me (to earn $5). He also mowed the front yard yesterday (since we now have a path for the lawnmower). My plan this summer is to offer both boys a chance to earn $5 a day by helping me with the yard. They don't have to do it, but if they're eager to earn money, as Teen A always is, here's how they can do it. Otherwise I'll just work along on my own.

This coming week I am going to work on this lovely bush. She -- I think of this one as female -- is so much bigger than she's supposed to be. I'm trying to get the bushes back into the confines of the landscape edging that they have burst out of. For so long, this has seemed like an impossible task, but now I see that it isn't impossible if you just keep going. I work half an hour a day, with weekends off. So much gets done, it's amazing.

Task #2 of each day was writing, and I did it -- I actually finished the draft of my middle-grade novel! I carefully printed it out so that I have a hard copy if anything happens to the electronic file, and I keep picking up the hard copy and smiling at it.

Of course, I haven't done anything else with it. At some point I have to sit down with it and start the editing process. But I think it's OK to give myself a little time off. I spent the last few days of the week planning the next novel in the series -- I can't remember if I've mentioned that this is supposed to be a mystery series and there are 12 planned novels in the series. I doubt I'll actually write 12 novels. I'll be lucky to write two. But the first one now exists! I'm tickled. This isn't the first novel I've written -- when we lived in Ridgecrest I wrote two novels and started a third, none of which will ever be published, because they're awful. So I've done this before. But it's been several years, 10 to be exact, since I last put much effort into novel writing. It was very hard to get going again, and it's taken a long time to write this one. My brain just isn't as quick as it used to be. But I did it!

My third task of each day was the files, and that was pretty successful too. The problem with the files is that they're time consuming. I assigned myself to work on the first file cabinet, the one I consider the most important. Monday through Thursday I worked on drawers 1 through 4, and on Friday I spent some more time on drawer 3, which was the most messed up. Next week I plan to move on to the second file cabinet and follow the same schedule. But I could easily spend another week on this first file cabinet. There's a lot to do.

Rocket Boy's old organization plan for this cabinet was as follows:

1. Monthly bills or obligations
   
2. Quarterly or bi-yearly bills or obligations
   
3. Yearly bills or obligations
4. Empty folders 

 
My new plan is similar, but different:

1. Our three properties and things related to them: monthly bills, insurance, repairs & upgrades, rental information
2. Bank statements and earnings -- pay stubs, that kind of thing
   
3. Investments, retirement accounts, and all legal stuff (the trust, our wills, any court cases)
4. Taxes (and empty folders)
    

The second file cabinet is more of a mishmash, and I expect to play with the organization as I go. Right now, this is what the drawers look like:

1. Medical, vision, dental records for all four of us
2. Other beings: all our pets' veterinary records, and files related to Rocket Boy's brother, his parents, and our old next-door neighbor (from when RB was his personal representative)
3. Vehicles and their paperwork; files related to places we used to live (i.e., Ridgecrest) or properties we used to own (i.e., my old townhouse, a mine that RB used to have back in the day)
4. A bunch of Rocket Boy's old files on pointless things that we don't need to keep and which I will very carefully have to thin and then gradually get rid of. Eventually this drawer will have other things in it. For example, it could be the twins' file drawer.
   

It is going to take more than a week to get this file cabinet straightened out. But I'll do what I can this week, and then the third week in May I'll work on the third file cabinet, which I am intending to have absorb all Rocket Boy's important stuff -- his teaching files, his grad school files, all that stuff -- which is currently taking up space in three different file cabinets.

In some ways it would be helpful if we had another flood, but only a flood that affected certain drawers in certain file cabinets. Since that's not going to happen, I'll keep working along.

My fourth task of each day is FlyLady stuff, and I have found that putting that last is a problem. It's so easy to say oh screw it and not do the work. Much easier to do it first thing in the morning and get it over with. But the yardwork really needs to be first thing in the morning. And after the yardwork, I'm tired. I need to do a sit-down thing, like writing. Then after lunch, when I get a second wind, I work on the files, which actually involve quite a bit of running around. I work on them at the card table in the living room -- no desk space in the "desk room" since all the desks have computers on them -- and then go back and forth putting things away in different drawers.

And when the file hour is over, I'm tired again. I do not feel like starting a cleaning project. This is why the kitchen floor did not get mopped this week (though I did vacuum).

Possibly it would be OK to spend less time on cleaning this month, just do the easy stuff. Once the kids are out of school, I won't be able to work on the files as much. In fact, I really want to have that job completed by the end of May. And I won't be able to do as much writing over the summer because it's hard to do that without a quiet space for myself. So the summer can be mainly devoted to yardwork and cleaning -- and reading. And helping the kids with their stuff. Teen B will be doing a PE class, so I'll be heavily involved in that. And they're both going to get their driving permits in early June, so then we'll have to practice driving. Horrors.

So, that's where things stand. Not much planned for the week ahead, other than TRYING not to catch Teen A's cold. I hate getting sick in May, and I usually DO get sick in May. Last year we all got Covid around this time. When I was teaching I always came down with something as soon as classes ended (or as soon as I finished my grading). So, bottom line, if it happens, it happens. I'll still love May, even if I have to scale back my activities.

I keep thinking -- the twins are almost done with their first year of high school! This blows me away almost as much as having them start high school did. Our bedtime book for the past month has been These Happy Golden Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder, which I thought they might like because Laura is 15 at the beginning of it, though she turns 16 soon after. By the end -- and we will read the last chapter tonight -- she is 18 and getting married, so that's harder for them to relate to. They were highly amused by her activities in the early part of the book, especially the fact that she began teaching school at age 15. The book covers more ground than the others in the series -- about two and a half years in the space of one book. But those years do go quickly in real life.

When it's my turn to pick next, I'm thinking about reading them Heaven to Betsy by Maud Hart Lovelace -- about Betsy and Tacy's freshman year of high school. But maybe they won't want me to read it, because they're going to be sophomores. We'll see. It's Teen A's turn to choose next, and then Teen B's. I won't get to pick again until maybe July.

Reading post: Books from the shelves by my bed

April has ended, so it is time for another reading challenge update. In April I aimed to read books from the shelves to the right of my bed above my nightstand -- shelves which are not supposed to have any unread books on them. I chose five books to read, all of which I finished.

1. Jason's Quest by Margaret Laurence. A children's book by the famous Canadian author (I love her Manawaka novels). It's a discard from the Palo Alto Public Library, so I must have picked it up at a Friends of the Library sale, eons ago. It started clumsily, but most of it was entertaining. I'm keeping it -- mainly because it's by Margaret Laurence, but also because it's very sweet. I'm only sorry I didn't read it to the kids when they were younger. They would have enjoyed the cat characters.
   
   
2. When Women Were Birds: Fifty-four Variations on Voice by Terry Tempest Williams. This is a memoir by the author of Refuge, a book I really liked, so I thought I'd like this, but I had some trouble getting started -- which is why it was sitting on my shelves, unread. It seemed a little too precious, too beautifully written, too English department-y. Fortunately, once I forced myself to read it, I enjoyed it. The premise is that Terry's mother, just before dying of cancer at the age of 54, told Terry she was leaving her all her journals. But the journals turned out to be blank. As Terry writes about her own life, she dips in and out of the question of those blank journals. By the end they seem like a wonderful mystery.
   
   The one bit I didn't like was Chapter XXXI, about a time when a crazy man tried to kill her. She blames herself for (a) not refusing his advances and (b) not telling anyone other than her husband about him, neglecting to warn other women. No, no, I wanted to reach into the book and say to her. It is not your fault. This is what bad men do, this is how women are taught to respond. I wanted to send her an article ("Just Say No: The use of Conversation Analysis in developing a feminist perspective on sexual refusal" by Celia Kitzinger and Hannah Frith, Discourse & Society, 1999). I wanted to say, it's OK, it's not you. Don't blame yourself. And of course then I started thinking about my own bad experience, decades ago, and I had to sit and be angry for a while before I could go on with the book.
   
   Anyway, I'm keeping this.
   
   
3. Wicked Things by Thomas Tessier. Tessier wrote one of my two favorite ghost stories of all time, Fog Heart (my other favorite is Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House), so I thought I would like Wicked Things, but I didn't. It's Tessier trying to be Stephen King. I'm not a big King fan, and this isn't a very good imitation of him anyway. The "bonus novella" included, Scramburg, U.S.A., isn't scary at all. After reading this I decided that I do not need to read all of Tessier, nor do I need to collect him (I'll just keep Fog Heart and read it yet again). I put this in the "donate" pile.
   
   
4. We Were Amused by Rachel Ferguson. In A Lot to Ask: A Life of Barbara Pym, Hazel Holt describes how Barbara and her sister Hilary loved to invent "sagas" about other people, and she mentions Rachel Ferguson's 1931 novel The Brontës Went to Woolworths as an example of a "saga" and this 1958 memoir as giving further information about them. I enjoyed The Brontës... but the memoir was difficult. First, Rachel Ferguson was born in 1892 and she's writing mostly about her childhood and young adulthood, and the references are so obscure. She namedrops constantly, and half the names mean nothing to me. Second, the book was published in 1958, the year of her death, which suggests that she may not have quite finished it before she died. Or perhaps I hope that, because the book is such a hodgepodge. Incredibly detailed when it comes to her childhood, but missing so much. Like... did Ferguson ever have a romantic relationship? Instead, she lists every kind of candy she used to like that isn't sold anymore. Finally, her politics are so conservative as to be almost funny... until the last chapter, when she goes off on a harangue against immigrants that started to make me feel sick, all about how "darkies" were taking up space in hospitals that white people need.
   
   I'm not going to keep this book. I can't imagine why I would want to read any part of it again and I very much don't want to read that last part. I also don't want to loan it to anyone for that reason. It's bound for Goodwill. Or the dustbin.
   
   
5. Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. I've read bits and pieces of this before, and a few years ago (when I was reading Civil War era books) I tried to read it all, but failed. So this time I set myself a certain number of pages per day and worked away at it for a couple of weeks. It was rough going in parts, but I did finally finish, on Friday. And I'm glad I read it -- there is some wonderful poetry in there. I read the "deathbed edition" which is the most complete, and partway through I read an article which recommended reading the first edition instead, which is about one third as long and still contains most of the best stuff. I can see how that would have been more enjoyable. Anyway, I'm keeping it. It's back on the shelf. And I've just started reading a biography of Whitman, because I want to know more about him. It probably would have been better to read the biography and the poetry at the same time, but I had to wait for Prospector to find the book and send it to me.
   
   

For May we move on to the white Ikea bookcase next to those shelves. This bookcase has what's left of my mystery collection (I thinned it extensively a few years ago), fiction by authors with last names A to H, the books I decided to keep from my Black, Native American, and Japanese/Japanese-American reading challenges, and a lot of random books on the bottom shelf. 

In other words, there are too many books in this bookcase and it would benefit from some additional thinning. 

There are also some Barbies and a lot of other random junk on the shelves -- lotions, scissors, surgical gloves, pens, boxes, a framed photo of my grandmother with her mother, etc. This is actually the bookcase AFTER a lot of FlyLady decluttering. What can I say -- it's my house, my side of our bedroom. Rocket Boy's side isn't much better (no Barbies, though).

I went through the bookcase and pulled out books that I've never read, or never finished. I kept checking books that I thought I'd read, but wasn't sure, against my master list and not finding them there. Really? I've never read that? Apparently not. I wasn't expecting to find SIXTEEN unread books in this bookcase, but there they are.

I haven't chosen my five yet. I might read more than five (once I finish the Whitman bio). I just don't know. This is a little overwhelming. I'll be back on June 1st to let you know how I did.