Happy New Year's Eve

When I went to my camera just now to download the pictures I'd taken of Christmas I was startled to realize that there were none -- there were pictures of Christmas Eve, but I'd never bothered to pick up the camera on the 25th. So I went to my phone -- same thing. I guess I was so caught up in the joys of Christmas that I forgot to take any pictures.

But it's OK. It's nice, even. We were having a lot of fun opening the gifts. I think I probably meant to go back and take some pictures of the presents later, but I didn't, and today I put away all the ones that were still lying around on the coffee table -- before realizing that I'd never taken a picture of them. It's OK.

So here's a list of things I didn't take pictures of:

• The cats' gifts: Baby Kitty got a ball with a feather attached and Sillers got a stuffed hermit crab (they got the squid and the lobster last year). Baby Kitty chased his ball around and it's now lost somewhere, and Sillers looked at her hermit crab and it's now lost somewhere too.
  
  
• 
  Twins' gifts: I got them each a "desk bar" -- a little desk organizer thing that I found online (Teen B liked his, Teen A ignored his). They each got a calendar (cats for Teen B, weather for Teen A). Lots of candy in their stockings, mini flashlights, yo-yos, some squeezable rubber cats that the cats have decided are actually cat toys. A little robot kit for each (Teen B built his, Teen A ignored his), a little game for each (one has been opened, neither have been played), a couple of books (Teen B thumbed through the "Breaking Cat News" cartoon book), a new Life is Good shirt for each (Teen B sighed at his, Teen A actively complained about his), a $20 gift card for each (Steam for Teen A, Google Play for Teen B). I didn't have high expectations for the gifts, and even so my expectations were not met. But it's OK -- teenagers are very hard to buy for. Their wants are not things you can buy at a store. They got money from both aunts, plus a little from our next-door neighbor. Teen A used some of his money to open a bank account, so he now has a debit card, very exciting.
  
  
• 
  Rocket Boy's gifts: a calendar, a bar of persimmon soap, a copy of On the Way Home by Laura Ingalls Wilder (about their move to Missouri), and a set of Date Night cards. (I really failed with him this year.) We tried one of the Date Night cards, but it was weirdly complicated. We decided we'll try more of them when he goes back to St. Louis. That is, on Fridays (which are Date Night, according to the FlyLady), I will scratch off one card and we will attempt to follow its instructions long distance. That will be very interesting for the more "intimate" suggestions. Hmm. I should have gotten him a new flannel shirt. He wanted a new flannel shirt. Bad wife.
  
  
• 
  My gifts: a calendar, a Wilma Mankiller Barbie doll (I found her at Barnes & Noble), All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir (a YA novel set in Ridgecrest), and from Rocket Boy, two hardback novels (North Woods by Daniel Mason, which I've already read and The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store by James McBridge, which I haven't), an Eisenhower biography from the Eisenhower Library where he stopped on his drive out here (I'd asked for it, even though I won't read it until 2026) and a manicure set, which I'd also asked for.
  

I think I made out better than anyone else in the family. I liked what I bought for myself and I liked what Rocket Boy bought me. This is quite a change from the old days when I would receive nothing, or almost nothing, and the twins would be drowning in gifts that they loved. I think it was when I started buying for myself that Rocket Boy got inspired -- he got ideas about what I would like.

Oh, well, presents. They seem a little silly at this point, honestly. Nobody needs anything, we can buy anything we want at any time. 

But it's fun to have stuff to unwrap on Christmas morning (even though the twins slept late and actually had to be forced to come to the living room and look in their stockings). So, we go on with the tradition. I don't think we'll give it up any time soon. But it is winding down.

***

This has been a slightly strange Christmas vacation/visit for two reasons.

1. The driving! Rocket Boy has taken one or the other of the boys out every day (except Dec. 27th, for reasons I'll explain later) for a long drive. Because of this, we didn't take any family outings. We talked about it, but never did anything. No hikes, no museum trips, nothing. It's so odd. But it's the fault of the driving. I really appreciate how hard he worked on that. I don't remember what the numbers were before he got here, but Teen A has now driven 27 hours and 33 minutes, and Teen B has now driven 19 hours and 43 minutes, for a grand total of 47 hours and 16 minutes between them. So maybe by next weekend we'll be up to 50 hours and I can make a cake and write on it "Congratulations on 50 hours." It's still a long way till 100 hours, but we're making good progress.
   
   
2. The vaccinations! On December 26th we all marched off to King Soopers for our Covid shots and I also got the RSV shot. Big mistake. I mean, I'm glad we got the shots, but it was a big mistake to get two at a time. I was so sick on the 27th it was like I really had the flu -- or Covid -- or RSV -- or whatever. We all felt horrible. My right arm still hurts, five days after the shot. When the kids and I got the flu shot, a month ago or whenever that was, I didn't have any reaction at all. I know they say a strong reaction means the vaccine is working, but wow, I really did not enjoy this reaction.
   

So what with the driving and being sick from the vaccines, time has passed quickly and now it is almost over. Rocket Boy plans to start driving back tomorrow morning. I am sad about that, but it's really been such a nice visit in so many ways -- despite not doing anything special. We did take a few walks around the neighborhood together, including one tonight. We talked and talked about anything and everything. We had fun together.

We also argued, got snippy with each other. But it didn't escalate. I think dealing with teenagers has taught me something about patience and forbearance. Just like nobody benefits from criticism, nobody benefits from being blown up at.

I'm trying to remember what else we did this week. Rocket Boy and I watched a bunch of movies. Inspired by how lousy we felt after the shots, we spent a lot of time lying around staring at the TV screen. Rocket Boy has a subscription to the Criterion Channel, so we watched several "Christmas Noir" movies: "Backfire" from 1950, "Repeat Performance" from 1947, "Blast of Silence" from 1961, and then for something only slightly different, Ingmar Bergman's "Fanny and Alexander" (my third time). The twins declined to watch any of these movies with us, preferring to play stupid video games. That's OK. 

Tonight, New Year's Eve, I think we will play some board games. I have several bottles of sparkling cider in the fridge along with a container of dip, there are several kinds of chips, and we still have lots of Christmas candy, though not many cookies left. We had salmon for dinner, plus leftovers from previous dinners. I cooked salmon FOUR TIMES over the last week, and Rocket Boy made a cod dish one night. That's a lot of fish for someone who's normally mostly veggie. We tried three different salmon recipes. They were all good. And one night I made a carrot risotto, but it was a little too spicy.

***

So, 2023 is ending and here comes 2024. I admit I am a bit anxious about it. The Presidential election is the big worry, along with other political stuff, the wars, etc. 

On a more personal note, there's the twins getting their licenses (and our car insurance skyrocketing as a result). 

Rocket Boy should come back home some time this year, either with a new job or retired. I've kind of given him a deadline of next September, when he turns 70. Of course he wants to be home before then, but if no Boulder jobs come through, I want him to just come home and retire. He could always teach part-time, or whatever. I'm also hoping that one or both of the twins will get a summer job.

I will get my braces off. Maybe in March, maybe in April, maybe in May. 

Rocket Boy's supposed to have another surgery in March, so if that happens, we'll be going back to St. Louis for Spring Break. We hope hope hope to be able to visit California this summer -- it's been way too long since we were last there, five and a half years. Maybe my little sister and I will take another baseball trip (hint, hint). And who knows what else will happen. 

I'll write a couple more posts in the next few days, one about what I read in 2023, and maybe one with resolutions. But for now I think this is good enough. I have to go hang out with the family now, do some New Year's Eve stuff. Enjoy everyone while I can.

Reading post: Books from the kids' bedroom

December is not quite over, but I'm done with my books for the month, so I think it's time for another reading update. In December, I decided to read books from the little shelf above the closet in the kids' bedroom, where we keep our small science fiction/fantasy collection. Although there are five books in this picture, I put Hyperion back on the shelf without trying it when I got to Christmas Eve and had only read three books. Here's how it went with the rest of them:

1. The Sword in the Stone by T. H. White. I had it in the back of my mind that I'd someday like to read The Once and Future King, but when I started reading this little book (and reading about it) I realized that it is more or less the first chapter of that book, about the childhood of King Arthur. It's a children's book, essentially, and while of course it was charming, it was also a little boring (to me). I'm glad I read it -- it's a classic, and I loved the Wart -- but it wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be. I didn't like that it was set in medieval times, for instance, while the real King Arthur, if he existed at all, lived during pre-Anglo-Saxon Britain. Now I don't know if I want to read The Once and Future King. Not right away, anyway. If I read something else by White, it might be The Goshawk.
   
   1a. Christmas book: The Nine Tailors by Dorothy L. Sayers. I've read this many times before, and while it isn't exactly a Christmas book, it starts at New Year's and ends a little after Christmas a year later. Plus, it's about BELLS, and bells to me mean Christmas, so to me it's a Christmas book. Such a wonderful book, though perhaps not much of a mystery. Reading it makes me feel all snuggly and warm.
   
   
2. The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien. That's right, I'd never read The Hobbit, nor any other book in The Lord of the Rings universe. I'd tried The Hobbit a few times before, but couldn't get into it. Too twee, all the dwarfs and whatnot. Not my thing. This time, I persisted and read the whole story. And my conclusion: it's not my thing and I have no interest in going further with these books. I plan to die without having read any other part of The Lord of the Rings. I just have no interest in elves and dwarfs and dragons and goblins and trolls. Maybe when I was younger I would have enjoyed this, but I don't know. The book is well-written and entertaining. Just not my thing.
   
   2a. Christmas book: Orbiting Jupiter by Gary D. Schmidt. Again, not most people's idea of a Christmas book, but it takes place almost entirely during winter (a very cold, snowy Maine winter) and partly during Christmas. This is a YA novel about a middle-school-aged foster kid who is already a father and wants to find his baby daughter, Jupiter. I got it from the library with the idea of reading it to the twins. I'm glad I didn't. I would have been sobbing and they would have been confused. It's a really good book, but so desperately sad.
   
   
3. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. Yet another book that I've put off reading for a long time. I tried once or twice and gave up, but it's actually a pretty easy read. I can see how this would be popular with boys, but it wasn't my thing. Ender is a young boy (six when the book begins) who's chosen to train to be a commander in the war against aliens. So much of the book is all about how he learns to do war, and that is just not interesting to me. But the ending (which I won't give away) was interesting. The last chapter and a half or so woke me up and made me go wow. It reminded me of a (completely different) book I read this fall called North Woods by Daniel Mason -- which annoyed me and bored me right up until the last chapter, which COMPLETELY blew me away. Didn't quite save the book, but almost. The last chapter and a half or so of Ender's Game was like that. Very interesting how a good ending can save (or almost save) a book.
   
   3a. Christmas book: Cold Earth by Sarah Moss. Maybe I should call these winter books rather than Christmas books, because this one has NOTHING to do with Christmas. But it's set almost entirely in Greenland, so it's cold and dark and wow, what a great book. Really enjoyed this one. Spooky, evocative, and all the characters are academics, mostly working on their dissertations. I think I've just read one book by Sarah Moss before this one, but now I want to read more of her stuff. Maybe she'll be one of my authors next year.
   
   
4. Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany. Tried, but failed utterly. It's a long book, 800 pages, and maybe that wasn't a good choice for Christmas. No, scratch that, it was a TERRIBLE choice for Christmas. I read about 10 pages and gave up. It looks interesting, and I think I might have liked it more than the three other books I read from this location, but not this year.
   

And that's it! Not a great reading month, but it's fine. I should note that I'm keeping all these books, even though I didn't love them, because they're all classics and you never know when a classic will come in handy.

No picture of where next month's books are coming from because next month is January, a new year, and a new challenge. I checked Books and Chocolate, but there doesn't seem to be a new Classics Challenge coming in 2024 (maybe 2025?), so I had to come up with a new challenge for myself. 

What I have decided to do in 2024 is to focus on a different author each month, preferably one who I have read little or nothing of. I want to challenge myself to read authors I've heard of or read reviews of for years but for whatever reason haven't read. I'm not going to give a list of the 12 authors here, because I want to give myself the freedom to change my mind. I already have more than 12 authors in mind, so I don't know which ones I'll actually read. One thing I might do is alternate female and male authors, month by month.

But I know who I'm going to read in January: Zadie Smith. Born in 1975, so she's the same age as my niece, published her first novel, White Teeth, in 2000, and has written several books since then. Why haven't I read her? I don't know. I'm going to try to read at least three of her novels this month, more if I like her and want to keep going. If I don't like her work, well, at least I will have given it a fair shot.

Other reading plans: I'm going to read ONE book per month from each of the locations where I found books this past year, which means that in January I will read ONE book from the piles by my bed. I'm going to continue with my Presidential biography project, so this year I'll try to read bios of Woodrow Wilson, Warren Harding, and Calvin Coolidge -- and maybe Herbert Hoover, we'll see. And of course I'll read the books for the book group.

And whatever else I decide I want to read...

Merry Christmas Eve

This has been a funny day, stomach troubles again, but despite that a good day, a calm, pleasant day. We started off with snow -- a light snow, but it kept going until noon or so, so we got a few inches. Nothing to cause problems -- the streets melted quickly. But pretty, and very Christmassy, especially since I read that very few people in America were going to have a white Christmas this year.

It's been warm for several days, so it's nice to get a little cold weather, a little snow. And then it will warm up again on Tuesday and probably be nice for the rest of Rocket Boy's visit.

He arrived Friday night, as planned, a little later than planned (just after 8 pm), but we always expect that he will be late, so we weren't worried. I had made bean & cheese quesadillas, a very easy dish, and had just popped it in the oven a few minutes before he arrived. I'll never get anything that perfectly timed ever again.

We spent Saturday doing errands -- Boulder Bookstore for calendars, Safeway for gift cards for the twins, and Trader Joe's for this and that. I was having stomach troubles again, and even though I went before we left, I was still doubled over with cramps for much of the trip. I kept looking around me at the other people in the stores, thinking of what it would be like to go Christmas shopping without constantly worrying that you might have an accident. Then I wondered how many of the people around me were having the same problem. It's not the sort of thing you announce to the world (unless you have a blog).

We gave cookies to the neighbors to the west and then went to Longmont to give Rocket Boy's brother his plate of cookies and King Soopers gift card. I kept reminding myself about that gift card, over the past month, but had I bought it? No, of course not. So we went to the King Soopers in Longmont right before we went to RB's brother's apartment and got it.

RB's brother Ralph lives in what would be a pleasant apartment, if someone else were living in it, but because he lives there it's pretty squalid. He doesn't have furniture, really, except for a chair that he sits on to talk on the phone (he only has a home phone, no cell, no internet access at all). Cardboard boxes line the walls (he keeps all his things in them). I think maybe he has a desk, but he doesn't use it as a desk, just puts boxes on it. He has a bed in the bedroom (it's a 1-bedroom apartment). Everything is very dusty. He's not allowed to smoke inside anymore, but he burns incense, so the whole place smells of incense. There were no Christmas decorations of any sort. 

He seemed pleased to get the cookies and gift card, and called us today to thank us again. His gifts to us were several pamphlets about "Krishna" which he particularly wanted RB to read, and several Daily Camera supplements which he saves for me. I get all those supplements too, of course, and I usually toss them, but Ralph insists on giving his copies to me and I've learned to just say thank you. One of them was about the Denver Broncos and Rocket Boy spoke up and said "I don't think we need something about the Broncos," but I shushed him and accepted the whole stack.

Giving things to Ralph feels a little like giving things to a homeless person, because he would be homeless if his mother hadn't managed to get him on disability when he was in his 20s (he's 71 now). He has Medicaid -- well, it must be Medicare now -- I'm not sure -- and he takes his meds regularly, and he's not much trouble to anyone. (Well, OK, he's a little trouble to us, but it's OK.)

We had dinner at Aunt Alice's restaurant in Longmont and somehow managed to be some of the last people in the restaurant, even though it was only 6:30 or so when we got there. Maybe it was 7. I wasn't really paying attention. I was a little nauseated and almost everything on the menu made my stomach turn, so I had a yogurt-granola parfait (they do breakfast all day). Teen A's omelet came with pancakes and I ended up eating his pancakes too. 

On the way home in the car (I was driving) I sang some Christmas songs, including "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" and "Last Christmas." The twins complained so much that I turned on the radio instead (the Christmas station, KOSI) which obligingly played "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" and "Last Christmas," so of course I sang along. Then it played "The 12 Days of Christmas" sung by (perhaps) Perry Como, and I sang along to that too. By the time we got home, the twins were ready to murder me. But it was fun.

Today I felt OK when I first got up, but soon the nausea took over and I ended up going back to bed. Later, though, I felt better -- ate some breakfast, went to the grocery store with Rocket Boy and Teen B, took cookies to our neighbor to the east. We spent $35 on a big piece of salmon, but it's OK -- it's Christmas. I think a roast would have cost more.

After resting for a while longer, I managed to cook dinner. We had my sister Barbara's Christmas potato dish (a delicious concoction made with two kinds of condensed soup), rolls, cranberry sauce, salmon done a new way (I printed out four recipes from the NY Times cooking section and chose one -- we have the other half of the salmon to cook tomorrow and I'm going to try a different recipe on it), and sparkling cider. Teen A was done with his food before I'd had more than a couple of mouthfuls of mine, but it was fine. I told them about Christmas Eve dinner when I was growing up -- the long table, the bowls of crab and the empty bowls that quickly filled up with shells -- but I think only Rocket Boy was listening.

I wanted to watch a Christmas movie after dinner, listed off all the DVDs we have -- "We could watch "A Christmas Carol," or "Love, Actually," or "The Santa Clause," or "Meet Me in Saint Louis," or..." -- but nobody else did, so we ended up watching some holiday episodes of "Odd Squad," the PBSKids show that the kids always liked (and still do). We munched on delicious Christmas cookies (Teen A said to me, "Mom, next year could you make twice as many sugar cookies?") and watched the Advent candles burn, all four of them plus the Christmas Eve candle.

My intestines are killing me right now, but at least the pain is on the right side this time, so it isn't diverticulitis. It's too-much-rich-food-itis, probably.

I'm lucky to have my family. I'm happy tonight. And tomorrow we have stockings and presents and more cookies and another big dinner, and somewhere in there I'll probably have a few naps. I've truly forgotten what all I bought for everyone (well, I remember some things, but some of the packages I pulled out of my closet tonight were mystifying), so it will be fun to watch people open them. Also, because I bought them a few weeks ago, I've already paid off my credit card, so that's nice too. 

Christmas with teenagers is different, but it's nice. All the years with the twins have been nice. And with Rocket Boy. I am very lucky. Happy Christmas.

The ups and downs of December

Last Sunday I felt on top of things, today I feel mostly on top of things, but much of this past week was not like that. That's the way December goes, up and down and around. 

On the plus side, the snow is melting. Look at those 7.5 inches go! It's supposed to be sunny and clear from now until next Saturday. I know this is bad, climate change, etc., but it's so much easier to do Christmas if the weather's good. So much easier to do everything, really. In January and February we try to slow down, don't do much, ably assisted by the bad weather. But in December there are so many things to do!

Let's do a quick review of holiday tasks/activities and how they're coming along.

Cards, calendars, etc. All done, and we received five this week. Rocket Boy asked me to email him the "holiday letter" so he could print it out and include it in the cards that go to his family in Germany. I always wonder what his relatives think of that letter. They thank us for it and say it's so interesting. I picture them rolling their eyes at each other. (That may not be fair.)

I also got the family-photo calendar made, with GREAT difficulty -- that used up three days this week. Note to self: make the calendar in NOVEMBER next year (I'll probably forget).

Decorations. The dollhouse is now fully decorated for Christmas, with various trees, presents under the tree, the miniature Advent calendar and miniature Advent wreath set up, a wreath on the door (it's an old wreath pin of my mother's), and a fence with lights on it in the yard. I put all eleven dolls to bed for now -- I'll get them up closer to Christmas.

The Christmas tree, on the other hand, made my life miserable this week. On Thursday (after finishing the calendar on Wednesday) I decided it was now or never, and I opened the lights box.

Several hours later, after an emergency trip to McGuckin's for more lights, I decided it was the best I could do, blew up at the kids, didn't make dinner, and went in my room to sulk for the evening. Merry Christmas!

On Friday I added the ornaments. And now it looks OK, I think. There are three strings of multicolored lights on it, plus one string of green lights, and the green lights make the whole tree look creepily, eerily green. But it's OK. I don't care. The tree is done.

We lit Hanukkah candles for 7 nights but missed the last night (Thursday) because I was sulking. It's OK. We'll light 3 Advent candles tonight.

Entertainment. I listened to two Christmas CDs while putting the ornaments on the tree! The book group comes on Tuesday.

Food. Cookie baking has begun. I made date crunch yesterday and they turned out soooo good. I ate two and then said ENOUGH. We are not making these cookies for me. Today I am supposed to be making candy cane cookies but have not actually started yet except for putting the butter in the microwave (the warmest part of the house) to soften. I will start soon. OK, the butter got too soft (it's the lights under the microwave that do it), so I hurriedly put the dough together and now it's chilling in the fridge. Hope I haven't ruined it.

Presents, shopping. I meant to do a little more shopping this week, but it didn't happen. It's OK. I've done enough, except the gift card for Rocket Boy's brother and anything I think of at the last minute. Everything's wrapped too.

Giving. I didn't manage to take the trombone mouthpiece to the music repair store. I will try to take it in this week.

Travel. Rocket Boy still plans to leave Thursday, get here Friday night. Fingers crossed.

Reading. I'm reading my planned December books, alternating with more Christmassy books.

Homework. The kids' finals are this coming week. I'm breaking up today into half-hour segments and they can ask for my help during any half hour they choose. So far I've taken Teen A driving (Teen B drove yesterday) and helped him finish his project for Language Arts, and I sat nearby supportively while Teen B filled out his index card for his math final. Still to do today: German for Teen B and social studies for Teen A.

Writing. I sacrificed my writing time to Christmas this week, and perhaps that's part of what made me cross. Monday through Wednesday I spent my writing time working on the calendar, Thursday was the tree plus I had a morning appointment, and Friday finally I gave myself 30 minutes to write. I'll try to do better this week. I'm unhappy when I don't get this time to myself.

Yardwork. Did nothing this week -- no fallen aspen sawing, no snow shoveling. Also did not go for any walks, because the weather was nasty for much of the week (it warmed up on Friday). Today I finally went for a walk: 27 minutes, 1.24 miles. I will try to take a walk every day this week, while the warm weather holds.

Cleaning. I did a little cleaning, but again, most of my time was sacrificed to the calendar and the tree. And this coming week will be cookies. I should have a little time for cleaning, though.

Self care. Hmm. I saw the gastroenterology PA on Tuesday, and that was probably responsible for my mood the rest of the week. She scheduled me for a colonoscopy & endoscopy -- but not until April, because she said I am too fat to have it done at the usual place and must have it done at a hospital. So then we had to talk about how fat I am. She tried to convince me to take Ozempic (as if I'd never heard of it): "It'll get rid of all your other problems, you won't have to take pills for blood pressure or diabetes or..." I explained that I had taken a similar drug and couldn't tolerate it. She shook her head, obviously not believing me. She told me I need to start taking omeprazole again, for heartburn, even though the dietary enzymes I'm taking seem to have taken care of that problem for now: "We're going to need to have a serious talk about this."

I thought to myself, I don't ever have to see you again if I don't want to. And I don't.

On Wednesday I took my car in and was told the power steering pump had failed. They replaced it, to the tune of just over $1000. Thing is, when I picked it up, it was still making the same moaning, squealing sound. I drove with it for a couple of days and then on Friday called the garage back and asked why it was still making the noise. They scolded me for waiting two days and told me to bring it back on Monday. Rocket Boy, when he heard about it, also scolded me. The thing is, shouldn't the garage have noticed that they hadn't fixed the problem? Is everything my fault?

On Thursday I saw my dietician and almost burst into tears when I told her about the GI appointment. She was very nice about it -- she's a Health At Every Size (HAES) practitioner, so she doesn't blame everything on weight. I said to her, "I'm sorry, I know you're not my therapist," and she said, "Well, yes, but I work in this field and it's a huge issue for many of our clients." I told her about when I was pregnant with the twins (and fat), all the medical practitioners I saw were nice to me, but now that I'm old and fat, with more problems, all medical practitioners seem to hate me. She looked sad.

You know, I get it. Being fat leads to problems (diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, etc.), which in turn lead to even worse problems (heart trouble, kidney trouble, etc.). But I don't see that as a reason to get mad at me. It's just a fact: I'm fat, so that leads to other things. It just gives us things to watch for, like if I had worked with asbestos, we would be watching for lung cancer. But people have this attitude that if you're fat, it's your fault, and if you stopped eating so much, you pig, you wouldn't be fat. (Or, now, you should take Ozempic even if it makes you terribly sick, because who cares if you're sick as long as you're not fat.) The GI nurse helping the PA actually said to me, "If you lose weight before April, tell us." I said, disbelieving, "How much weight?" She said, "Oh, I don't know, it's based on BMI," but she didn't bother to tell me what the BMI cut-off was. Not that it matters...

If I hadn't had that experience on Tuesday, I probably would have gone for a walk as soon as the weather warmed up, i.e., Friday. I probably wouldn't have gotten quite so angry at the tree and wouldn't have upset my kids. How can people think it is beneficial to criticize fat people for being fat?

***

OK, so last week was kind of crummy, but the week ahead looks better, no? Basically it looks like this:

• Make a different kind of cookie every day until I get tired of baking. I've got eight varieties on a list posted on the fridge. I don't need to make all eight.
• Help the kids through finals. 
• Hopefully get the car's problem solved.
• Host the book group on Tuesday night (some of the cookies are for them).
• Take the trombone mouthpiece to the music repair shop.
  
• Clean, here and there.
• Make dinner every night.
• Give myself time to write every day (if possible).
• Take a walk every day.
  

I think it looks pretty good. No nasty appointments to upset me, just taking the car in again (sigh) and the book group coming. And at the end of the week, Rocket Boy's arrival.

Oh, I almost forgot the best thing that happened this week! On Tuesday, the otherwise rotten day, I had just woken the twins (at 7:30 am) and gone out to the kitchen to start the tea and put away the clean dishes in the drying rack. Looking out the kitchen window I saw movement: what looked like an extremely large cat was on the back fence, and as I watched, it climbed into the maple tree. 

And as I watched I realized it had no tail (or at least not a long cat tail). Thoughts flickered through my brain: mountain lion? No, too small, and they have long tails. Lynx? No, too small. It's a bobcat! "Bobcat!" I screamed, waking up the twins who had fallen back to sleep. "A bobcat in our backyard!" I tried to take a picture with my phone, but it turned out blurry. Then I went to the door, to go out and scare it away (or see it better -- both sounded like good options), and there was a bobcat on the back fence on the other side of the yard! Staring at me. It was so beautiful. But did the bobcat jump out of the tree and run to the other side of the yard? Or was it a second bobcat? I will never know, but people in the neighborhood have reported seeing two bobcats together recently.

Anyway, this photo was taken by a neighbor. Just looks like a lump on a fence, but I assure you, it was an amazingly beautiful creature.

Buzzing along with the holidays

Oh, the holidays are very much with us. I haven't watched a holiday movie yet, nor listened to a holiday song (except in stores) (oh, OK, and on the car radio, but not at home, not from a CD or record or tape), but they are here. They are here.

Last week I was feeling panicked about the holidays and my lack of progress in getting ready, but today things feel much more under control. I got a lot done this past week! Let's review:

Cards, calendars, etc. I wrote and mailed 47 cards, which is basically all of them. I give our next-door neighbors plates of cookies along with their cards, so those will have to wait until I bake the cookies. And I'm sitting on a card for our old cleaning lady/babysitter from Ridgecrest, because I don't know where she is. I usually get an email from her around about now, so I'll wait for that.

We received two cards this week, one from Rocket Boy's cousin in Hawaii and a very cute one from Joe & Jill Biden (see photo -- so that's how the Democratic National Committee spends our donations), and we also got an emailed Christmas letter from one of my cousins.

Still to do: the family calendar that I make on Shutterfly. That's a job for this coming week.

Decorations. I set up my dollhouse in the living room, though I haven't brought out all the Christmas decorations for it yet. I did buy the dolls a new Christmas tree at Joann Fabrics, because I don't like the Playmobil one that I have, too pink. I also bought a little flocked tree ($1 at Target), to stand in the yard. (Their yard.)

I realized that my doll furniture didn't fit in the house, so I went online and ordered a new third floor from Playmobil. It arrived yesterday and I put it together, and now that's the children's room (with six bunk beds). The twins think this is ridiculous and that it looks dumb. They are wrong. But I might move the children's stuff to the 2nd floor, switch it out with the office/guestroom that is there now (see the mom sitting at the computer desk and the cat tree in the corner?). Haven't decided yet.

We took the new/old fake tree out of the box, but haven't put any lights or ornaments on it yet. Partly, that is because I hate putting the lights on. I have to psych myself up for that. I really would like one of those prelit trees. However, our hairdresser Melisa told me that she has an old prelit tree, and all the lights have stopped working and they have to put separate lights on the tree anyway. So maybe I should just deal with it, put the lights on, stop fussing.

The other reason for not putting anything on the tree yet, though, is that Baby Kitty keeps climbing it! He was also eating it yesterday -- why? why? why eat icky plastic needles? -- and today he threw up his breakfast, sigh. It might be best if we just have a plain tree this year. Or no tree. No, I'm kidding, but honestly, cats!

The kids are a little disturbed by how small the tree is. I am delighted. I am really done with big trees.

We lit the first candle of Advent last Sunday and will light the first and second tonight. We've lit the Hanukkah candles the last three nights. Lighting the candles forces me to sit in my chair watching them, because we are afraid that Sillers will investigate them and burn her whiskers off (or worse), like she did a few years ago.

But Sillers (so far) is being very good. She comes and sits on the loveseat and watches the candles, but she doesn't get on the table and mess with them. Yet. 

I still don't trust her.

Entertainment. Nothing this past week and nothing scheduled for the week ahead. The book group is coming on the 19th. I could start listening to Christmas CDs and records this week.

Food. I baked one batch of cookies this week -- peppermint bark chocolate chip something-or-others -- but that was for the kids. If someone were to stop by the house on a holiday visit I could serve them some of these, but they're not really intended as Christmas cookies per se. I might make another batch this week, but I'm planning to make most of the cookies the following week, during finals. I could buy ingredients this week, that might be good.

Presents, shopping. I'm almost done with my shopping, and I've wrapped most of the gifts too. I bought myself a couple of nice things and wrapped them -- you can see one in the picture of the tree, under the tree. Teen B picked it up, said, "Obviously it's a Barbie" and set it down again. (Note: he wasn't wrong.)

This will be my last week to shop and I have to think of where to go on Thursday and Friday. I haven't gone to Pearl Street yet, nor out to Flatirons Crossing. But the urgency is gone. If I had to stop shopping right now, I'd be fine (except I still have to get a King Soopers gift card for RB's brother).

Giving. I gave away a lot of money on Colorado Gives Day, very satisfying. Oh, and I took Teen A's old trombone to the music store to have it cleaned, in preparation for giving it away. He hasn't played it since May of 2020, so it's been sitting around waiting for me to deal with it for three and a half years. We're almost there.

Travel. Rocket Boy plans to leave St. Louis on December 21st, which would get him here the night of the 22nd (he's going to drive). He'll probably drive back on January 1st or 2nd.

Reading. I managed to finish the book group book (The Death of Artemio Cruz by Carlos Fuentes), and my gigantic presidential biography, and now I'm reading the first of my planned December books from the kids' room. I'm also reading a Christmas book (I alternate chapters).

Homework. Need to take a break now and go work on homework with the kids! OK, I'm back. We have a lot to do this coming week, lots of big projects that aren't started yet, etc. Last night both boys started telling me about how they were going to fail this or that class because of this or that project that they'd neglected to do. Just when I think high school is getting easier, I realize that it isn't.

Writing. I had a lot of fun writing this week. I decided to move my writing hour to the morning, 10-11 am, so that I would definitely get to do it, even on days when the kids get home early. My normal writing time is 3-4 pm, which means it doesn't happen on the days they get out at 3. I decided that writing was more important than housework. It is!

Yardwork. I worked on the fallen aspen this week, but eventually gave up. I got it out of the lilac bush and off the roof, and I filled the compost bin with branches from it, so that was good, but now it's just lying out there in the snow (we got dumped on, Friday night), waiting for someone to pay attention to it. Maybe I can get Rocket Boy to saw it up when he comes.

Cleaning. I pulled myself together and did some cleaning this week. Most importantly, I tried out my vacuum cleaner, which works great now that Rocket Boy fixed the plug. I probably won't focus too much on cleaning this week, but I'll try to keep up with everything.

Self care. I've been doing pretty well with getting enough sleep and all that. The digestive enzymes seem to be working well -- this week I ate a nice lunch every day and had almost no heartburn. On Wednesday I decided it was time to make some phone calls, so I scheduled an appointment with the gastroenterology PA (that's this coming Tuesday) and arranged to take my car in to see what that weird noise is that it's been making (that'll be Wednesday). I also see my dietician this week (on Thursday), so it'll be a week of appointments.

I took a few good walks this week, but then it snowed, and boom, no more walks. We should get some good melting this week, though, so maybe I can go out again. Still haven't tried out my new YakTrax.

***

OK, so what am I looking at this coming week?

• Making the family calendar online at Shutterfly
  
• Decorating the tree
• A little more shopping, but no urgency
  
• Three appointments (Tues, Wed, Thurs)
  
• Basic cleaning, cooking dinner
  
• Maybe one batch of cookies. At least plan out the rest of my baking, buy ingredients
• Taking the mouthpiece of Teen A's trombone to the music store because I somehow forgot it when I dropped off the rest of the trombone!
  

It looks totally doable (although the trombone thing is annoying). We went from panic to fairly calm in one week. Happy December!

Hello, December

It's December and I have that deer in the headlights feeling. Nothing is ready! Nothing is done! How will I ever get everything holiday-related done in time?!

Some years I don't feel like this, but this year I do. Maybe because I was so uncomfortable during Thanksgiving (all that seems to be over, thank goodness, my intestines are fully recovered), but I feel like I got sort of behind.

Calm down, it's OK. You have three full weeks. Let's look at the tasks we need to accomplish and how we're doing with them.

Cards, calendars, etc. I've got the cards all addressed & stamped, and Rocket Boy signed them while he was here. We've been negotiating the "letter," but we finalized it last night and I made the copies at FedEx Office today. Now comes the fun part: writing the cards. Maybe I can do 10 a day? We're planning to send out 53 this year. Rocket Boy took the German cards back to St. Louis with him to work on, so that leaves me with -- 50. Hmm.

I still have to make our family calendar (with family photos) online, was hoping to get that done by the 14th. Haven't started yet. We'll see. I do have an Advent calendar!

Decorations. I thought I might take the tree out of its box sometime this week and we might decorate it next weekend. We have a wreath, bought through a band fundraiser. I managed to hang it on the porch and I think it looks very nice.

I thought I'd set up my dollhouse in the living room with some Christmas stuff, but I have to work on that. I've made a space for it, but the dollhouse is very dusty and needs a lot of attention.

I also need to bring out the Advent wreath and candles, since this is the first Sunday of Advent, and Hanukkah starts on Thursday, so I should get that set up -- I do have the candles for both already.

Entertainment. Teen B and I went to the harp concert at the library yesterday (it was lovely), but we skipped the Parade of Lights. It was so cold. I felt terribly guilty about not going, though. Maybe next year. If Rocket Boy had been here, he would have gone. I don't know if I have any other "entertainment" ahead, other than my book group coming and watching movies at home. We can think about that later, it's not something to worry about. I probably won't try to go to any church services this year (does that belong in the "entertainment" section?), but I'll see. 

I wouldn't mind going to another Christmas concert. I wish there were still a handbell concert in the area, but that seems to be gone for good. Let's see, just looked it up -- there's one in Denver and one in Loveland/Greeley. Yeah, probably not this year.

Food. I'm not going to start baking yet except maybe one batch of cookies for the kids. I was going to make something for my book group this week, but now I think they're not coming until next week or the week after.  I think I'll start my real baking the week of the 11th (and only 6 batches, not 12). I want to try a new recipe or two this year. I was interested in one of the recipes from the NYTimes cookie week: Gingerbread Blondies. They sound yummy and easy. Other than that, no real food stress. We have Christmas candy in the house, which is cheering.

Mostly I just have to remember to cook dinner! Last week I made a lot of weird dishes using the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers. On Monday we had mashed-potato pancakes, which weren't bad. On Tuesday we had a sort of shepherd's pie with the sweet potatoes on top -- very, very weird. Most of it went in the compost. On Wednesday we had Beyond Meat meatballs in a sauce made with 1 cup of leftover cranberry sauce mixed with chili sauce, over spaghetti -- the twins requested that I write on the recipe "Never make this again," but I actually liked it and ate the leftovers for lunch. On Thursday we had cheese & mushroom enchiladas with sauce made from the leftover gravy plus spices -- and the mushrooms came from the gravy too. I sieved them out of it, washed them off, chopped them up, and mixed them with grated cheese. It wasn't bad. But I think for the next few weeks I have to think of normal meals, not weird things.

Presents, shopping. I've started shopping, online and in stores, though I should really have done the online shopping sooner. I was disappointed to see that the shirt I wanted to get Rocket Boy from Lands' End is backordered until the middle of January. It's OK, he has lots of shirts. I'll think of something else. I plan to go out to stores on Thursday and Friday for the next two weeks -- after that I'm out of luck, because the twins will be around that last week -- they have finals, but they should be done by Thursday afternoon, the 21st.

I'm also working on a genealogy project that is clearly not going to get done by the 25th -- I'll have to finish it after the Christmas rush. Note to self: do not start big projects in late November!

Giving. Colorado Gives Day is Tuesday and I'll probably donate about $500. I paid down my credit card this week so I'm ready to do some charging. I usually do the Humane Societies (Boulder, Longmont, and Park County), Hillside School, the Lung Association, and then I pick and choose. Oh, and an organization called Mission St. Louis -- that's not for Colorado Gives, of course, but I give to it at the same time. I think I may owe the school money, too, or maybe the music department. OK, I'll work on this.

Travel. I don't know when Rocket Boy is coming and I don't think he does either. It's OK. If he drives, he could leave on the 23rd and still get here by Christmas Eve. Not going to worry about this.

Reading. I already feel behind on my reading this month, because I am reading the incomprehensible book group book (The Death of Artemio Cruz by Carlos Fuentes) which I forgot to even think about getting until a few days ago. Basically, I turned the calendar to December and thought, oh yes, the book group is coming here on the 6th -- and then, oh, right, the book. What was it, again? Fortunately there was a copy available at the Longmont library, so I ordered it and it arrived Friday and I started reading. I'm already on page 140 out of 307. It will be OK, especially now that the book group is going to come the week after, probably. But I want to start doing my planned December reading, plus Christmas books, so I must get this one out of the way fast. I can't remember who chose it, but I know I agreed to it. It's OK, I'll finish it.

Homework. Not my homework, but the kids'. They both have big projects to do for Language Arts, which we started working on today. And with finals coming up the week of Dec. 18th, there will be all sorts of things to do. I have to remember to leave time/space/energy for the kids.

Writing. Of course, because I have all these other things to do, I'm in the mood to write. After reading the John Gardner book on becoming a novelist, I was inspired to pull out the novel I wrote 10+ years ago to see if it could be salvaged. I don't think it can be, but I still want to try out some ideas for fixing it. I'm also working on my next middle-grade mystery, and I have other projects too. It's actually not a surprise that I would want to do this now, right when I have no time. Having no time always seems to make me want to write, or work on some other project that there is no time for. I must find a way to give in to the impulse, because writing is my life, but not let it take over everything. Friday afternoon I was writing, and I just kept on going, not even stopping to make dinner (we were just having leftovers) until 8:30 or so. The kids were unhappy with me and I thought -- yeah. They have to come first. Writing is wonderful, but I'm a mom, and they need me. Must seek balance.

Yardwork. Ack! This should be nothing at all (can't rake leaves when they're covered with snow), except that last night we had some unexpected high winds and our mostly dead aspen in the side yard blew over (mysteriously, it blew west, even though the winds were from the west), taking part of the lilac bush with it. I'm so sad! No more birds raising families right outside my window.

Now I have to carve it up, at least cut the branches off. Maybe I'll have to ask for/hire help. I tried to get the twins to help me today and they wouldn't. I'll see what I can do tomorrow (it's supposed to be warmer, which would be nice).

Cleaning. I can't lie -- I've been neglecting the house the last few weeks. When Rocket Boy was here, he mopped the floors, which is not my favorite task, and he cleaned the bathroom ceiling/tops of the walls, where a whole lot of tiny little flies had inexplicably attached themselves and died, toward the end of summer. It was the oddest thing. Anyway, he got all that cleaned up, and now the bathroom ceiling and tops of walls look really nice. The rest of the bathroom, though, hmm. Also, he fixed my vacuum cleaner, but I haven't used it yet! So I need to do that, tomorrow or Tuesday.

Self care. My favorite (not). But this month it's important. I've been doing well on getting enough sleep -- by 11:30 pm I'm wiped out, so I turn off the light, and then soon it's 7 am and I'm waking up without my alarm. Seven and a half hours seems to be about right for me. I haven't been walking, though -- I think it's 10 days -- or more -- since my last good walk. At McGuckin's this week I bought YakTrax, those things you put on your shoes to make it safer to walk on ice. I haven't taken them out of the box yet. Maybe tomorrow (it's too late today). Also, I've adjusted to the digestive enzymes and I've been taking them with every dinner, sometimes lunch too.

And finally, I should get my Covid booster and maybe RSV too, though I read somewhere that RSV is peaking. I got my flu shot a couple of weeks ago, no reason to delay the others. If I get sick, which I probably will, because I almost always catch something in December, it'll slow me down, but that's OK. We do what we can, no more.

It's going to be OK. 

Oh! One more thing -- we celebrated Baby Kitty's 4th birthday this week. What a good cat. And he ate his whole cupcake. I wasn't paying attention, was trying to get Sillers to eat some of hers -- she kept leaving because she didn't want to eat next to Baby Kitty. Finally I rotated her so that she couldn't see him while she was eating, and she ate a little bit. But while all that was going on, he ate his entire cupcake, all but a little bit of frosting. I watched for signs of problems, but the only thing that happened was an episode of diarrhea, just one, and mostly contained in the box, and that was it. Still, I'm not sure I'll give him another one next year.

Reading post: Books from the desk room

November is over, so it's time for another reading update. In November, I decided to read books from the little shelf above the closet in our office, or as we call it, the desk room (it has 5 desks in it). However, I wasn't really in the mood to read a lot of serious books on language, so it was a rough month. 

I started with Morphology of the Folktale by V. Propp, which was a text used in a rhetoric class I took more than 40 years ago. Why didn't I read it then, I wondered. Well, in fact, I did read it then -- there it is, in my list book, fall of 1981. OK, put that back on the shelf. Another book I pulled out but didn't read was The Rhetoric of Fiction by Wayne C. Booth -- it looked interesting, but I just didn't get to it. In all, I read only three books from the desk room this month. Here's the full story:

1.  An Invitation to Old English & Anglo-Saxon England by Bruce Mitchell. I thought this book always looked so interesting, sitting there unread on my shelf. I took a semester of Old English in grad school, though I remember almost nothing from it. My Old English professor used to talk about Anglo-Saxon culture, so I looked forward to reading the "Anglo-Saxon England" part of the book. Well, it turns out that in fact you have to learn Old English to read this. Mitchell is very gentle about it, he helps you along the way -- it is an "invitation" after all -- but after a couple of chapters of grammar, when he turns to the history of Anglo-Saxon England in Part III, he just gives you sections of the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle -- in the original Old English. With difficult words glossed below, and notes, but it's not the same as a translation. So in order to read the history, I had to drag myself through the Old English.
   
   It was like picking up a book about the Pyramids, only to discover that you have to learn Arabic to read it. I am too old to learn a language! I tried, sort of, but it was impossible. Everything I read about the grammar I immediately forgot. And later it got worse: Part IV, "A Garden of Old English Literature," was almost entirely in Old English. I'm going to say I read this book -- I read all the parts written in Modern English and struggled with the Old English -- but I'm not sure Mitchell would agree. What a nightmare. I spent two weeks on it. Keeping it, but perhaps someday I'll give it to someone who actually wants to learn some Old English. (Will that ever happen? Are there such people?)
   
   
2. Early English Poems selected & edited by Henry S. Pancoast & John Duncan Spaeth. I don't know why I have this book, published in 1911, which has Louise Pound's name on the flyleaf. It must have belonged to my father, who studied English under Louise Pound at the University of Nebraska in the 1940s. Anyway, I picked it up right after finishing the book on Old English and I thought -- I should have read this at the same time! Because here are translations of many of the Old English texts Bruce Mitchell was trying to make me read. (Though they were rather old-fashioned translations -- I much prefer Seamus Heaney's Beowulf to the one in this book.) After the Old English section, however, nothing was translated, so I had to read Chaucer in the original Middle English. But after struggling through all the Old English in the previous book, Middle English was easy. In general, though, this book was not easy, and it took me the second half of the month to get through it. I'm keeping it, though -- a good reference text.
   
   One thing that amused me: my favorite author, Barbara Pym, studied English at Oxford and her books are full of obscure quotations from what she calls "our greater English poets." What I learned from this book is that many of her characters were probably named after those poets. For instance, her Archbishop Hoccleve in Some Tame Gazelle must have been named for the poet Thomas Hoccleve (1370-1450), and Miss Lydgate, who appears in Excellent Women and Less Than Angels, was probably named for the poet John Lydgate (1370-1451). Also, some of the characters in Some Tame Gazelle have studied Old and Middle English, and they refer to the poems "Piers Plowman" and "The Owl and the Nightingale," neither of which I had read before. Well, now I have (excerpts, anyway).
   
   
3. On Becoming a Novelist by John Gardner. While poking around in the piles of papers under my desk, I glanced at the row of books on the shelf down there (I don't know why my desk has a bookshelf underneath it, but it does) and spotted this one. I've never read that, have I? I decided it would be a good fit for the last few days of the month, and in fact I finished it about ten minutes before December began. What a great book about writing! I loved it. It was published in 1983, so I've had 40 years to find it and read it. Better late than never. I love Gardner's approach to the whole "should I be a novelist" thing. He refuses to base it on money, reminding his readers that no serious novelists live off their earnings. Get a job that gives you lots of free time, live off your spouse, resign yourself to skipping the finer things in life, or inherit money. Writing isn't going to pay. The reason to write is because it brings great joy:
   
   "It is this experience of seeing something one has written come alive -- literally, not metaphorically, a character or scene daemonically entering the world by its own strange power, so that the writer feels not the creator but only the instrument, or conjurer, the priest who stumbled onto the magic spell -- it is this experience of tapping some magic source that makes the writer an addict, willing to give up almost anything for his art, and makes him, if he fails, such a miserable human being."
   
   I also like his list of writers' typical characteristics: wit, obstinacy and a tendency toward churlishness, childishness, a marked tendency toward oral or anal fixation or both, remarkable powers of eidetic recall, a strange mixture of shameless playfulness and embarrassing earnestness, patience like a cat's, a criminal streak of cunning, psychological instability, recklessness, impulsiveness, and improvidence (and an incurable addiction to stories). It reminded me of Barbara Pym's comment about how no one likes writers:
   
   "But once outside the magic circle the writers became their lonely selves, pondering on poems, observing their fellow men ruthlessly, putting people they knew into novels; no wonder they were without friends." (from Jane and Prudence, Chapter 12)
   
   Finally, I realized (after studying the list of his previous publications) that Gardner was a specialist in Old and Middle English. He translated "The Owl and the Nightingale," he wrote a biography of Chaucer, and his most famous novel, Grendel, is about the monster in Beowulf. I went right out and got a copy of Grendel at the Bookworm yesterday.
   
   Gardner died in 1982, at the age of 49 (this book was published posthumously).
   

One more month in 2023. In December we move on to the kids' bedroom. They have scads of children's books, from picture books to YA, but I've read most of them already. Instead of those, I'm going to focus on another shelf above a closet -- their closet, that is. On this shelf, we keep our small science fiction & fantasy collection. No reason -- we just needed a place for those books and here was a place. I don't love scifi, so I haven't read a lot of these books. I decided to just pick five to read this month and we'll see how it goes. 

Of course in December I mainly like to read Christmas books, so I may set these aside and read about roasting chestnuts and holly and mistletoe instead, but whatever happens is fine.