Discomfort and good cheer

I was going to call this post "agony and ecstasy" but I realized that would be way over the top. I'm not in agony, I'm experiencing some discomfort. And having Rocket Boy home doesn't really lead to ecstasy, but something more along the lines of good cheer. 

It is really nice to have him home.

And I'm really miserable, though I have hope that things will improve.

Why am I miserable? Well, as I mentioned last week, on March 2nd I had a front tooth pulled and the nerve was irritated as a result. I've still got pain from that. Then, on March 10th, I had a full set of braces put on, top and bottom teeth, every single tooth except the two back bottom ones. Also on Thursday, I came down with Teen B's cold, which I didn't realize he was coming down with last Sunday, but which he's been dealing with all week. We all have the cold now. (It's not Covid -- I took Teen B to Centaurus for a test and it was negative. I'm going to assume that's true for all of us, since we so clearly got this from him.)

And of course, having a cold makes your teeth hurt ANYWAY, because of their proximity to your sinuses, which are all inflamed and unhappy. My teeth hurt when I'm just sitting around, but they REALLY hurt when I try to bite down on anything, like, say, cereal that's been sitting in milk for half an hour in order to get it really soggy. Ouch!

My main solution to this problem is not to eat, and my second best solution is not to chew my food when I do eat. But one of the things they tell you to do when you have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, as I do, is to chew all your food very thoroughly. So every time I swallow some not well-chewed food I think, sorry, irritable bowel.

I'm trying not to take a lot of painkillers, but it is hard. I think I've weaned myself off ibuprofen now, especially after reading that taking it could interfere with bone regrowth. I'm trying to take Tylenol only twice a day, but that is hard. I woke up around 4:30 am yesterday, in pain, so I took some Tylenol. Then I took some more 10 hours later (at 2:30), and more 8 hours after that, at 10:30, before bed. It is hard to take only two doses per day when you wake up at 4:30. Today I managed to hold off taking it until 9 am (new time), and I plan not to take any more until 9 pm or so. Eventually I want to get it down to one dose per day, and then none.

I have already lost a few pounds since having that tooth pulled. At some point I'm sure my body will figure out how to stop losing weight, probably by lowering my metabolism. Right now I'm trying to enjoy the weight loss, because there is not much else to enjoy.

I googled "adult braces second thoughts" and found a site with posts from old people (in their 40s, even) who had just gotten braces and were miserable. It was very comforting. Other people wrote in and told them not to give up, it would get better and it would be worth it in the end. I particularly liked their "tickers" at the bottom of their posts, which said things like, "12 years since braces put on" and "10 years since braces came off!" On another site, a person called Emily, who got braces at the practically senile age of 30, said she tried to keep thinking about Future Emily, who would appreciate the straight teeth.

So I am trying to think about Future Flicker, age 63 or so, who will be so so happy that she got her teeth straightened. I'll look good (well, better) in pictures taken at the twins' high school graduation. I'll be able to eat apples and carrots. I'll be able to bite my fingernails again (though maybe two years without being able to will finally train me not to). Also, every time I start thinking that 63 is so old that I'll basically be dead by the time the braces come off, I think about how my older sister is 72 and going strong. Unless something awful happens, I will NOT be dead at 63. It is worth doing this. It is. It is.

***

What else happened this week? On Wednesday the twins turned 14! That was a nice day. Teen B had to stay home for the second day in a row because of his cold, so I had to hide in the bedroom to wrap presents and then Teen B helped me decorate the living room, because there was no way to do that in secret. I had some "garlands" of gold and silver stars that were terribly hard to work with. He objected to the birthday balloons I'd purchased, so I only blew up five of them, out of a package of 20. It was OK -- blowing up balloons made my mouth hurt.

I didn't spend much money on presents, but I got an assortment of balls that we can take with us when we walk to the park or school to play basketball, and some candy and whatnot, the new "Hilo" book for Teen B, some wireless earbuds for Teen A. I forget what else. Oh, there was something else, but I won't mention it here. A little too personal!

Rocket Boy and I had gotten two cakes at Safeway -- a chocolate one for Teen B and a white one for Teen A -- and those were greatly enjoyed. The white one is already gone and there's just a little of the chocolate one left. Cake is pretty easy to eat with braces on, because it's soft and dissolves in your mouth pretty well. Unfortunately it also gets stuck in your braces, so you have to brush and floss your teeth immediately afterwards, but I find that I have to do that no matter what I eat. Eating is really terrible now -- in addition to the pain, I can feel all the little bits of food making their way under all the individual braces. However, drinking is OK, and I find myself drinking some sort of liquid (tea, milk, water) almost continuously. I also rinse my mouth with salt water quite often and I'm doing nasal cleanses with salt water too, since I'm sick.

God, this has been an awful eleven days (since I had the tooth pulled). I keep telling myself, things will get better. If I could just stop coughing, I think I could handle the tooth pain better.

Oh, I'm forgetting two other things we did this week. On Tuesday night, Rocket Boy and I took Teen B to the choir/orchestra concert at the middle school. I didn't think he should go, since he was sick and hadn't gone to school that day. But he really wanted to. So we made him wear a mask, and gave him a cough drop to suck on, and sat a couple of rows away from everyone else. Hopefully we didn't pass on his germs. 

Then on Thursday night, Rocket Boy and I went to see "A Midsummer Night's Dream" at the high school that the twins are not going to go to. We went because our next-door neighbor's son was in it and we wanted to see him. And it was a fabulous production, so excellent. Our neighbor's son did really well, too. Such a clear speaking voice, and he knew his lines perfectly. I was so glad we'd gone that night (wearing masks), because by Friday I was in no shape to be going to any plays. I've stayed home since then, even skipped today's Starbucks run. Rocket Boy is less sick than me, for once, so he handled that.

So now we have one more week before Spring Break, and it's another busy one. Teen B's band concert is Tuesday night, and I'm going to try hard to get rid of this cold (especially the cough) by then. Teen B stayed home from school from Tuesday through Friday last week (Teen A also stayed home on Friday), so he needs to go back tomorrow. Teen A may need to stay home one more day. Both kids see the orthodontist on Wednesday and the eye doctor on Thursday, and Teen A has a haircut on Saturday morning. Oh, and my book group was supposed to come here on Monday, but I changed it to a Zoom meeting. We always partially zoom, because one of our members now lives in Philadelphia, so it's easy to make the whole thing a zoom if need be. I told them I'll host in April instead. Way too much illness around here to have people over.

I'm still not sure what's happening for Spring Break. We've talked about going to Nebraska to see the sandhill cranes, but we haven't done anything to make that happen, due to illness and general misery. If we do it, we'll probably drive Rocket Boy's car, and then the kids and I will fly back to Denver from Omaha and he'll continue on to St. Louis. But none of this is scheduled yet -- no flights have been purchased, no cat sitters arranged. Still, it's just Nebraska, after all. We can probably do everything at the last minute. I'll know more next Sunday.

Another snowy day

Another Sunday, another snowy day. It's a very pretty snowy day, actually, just the right amount of snow. I'm going to guess we've gotten maybe 3 or 4 inches so far, nothing drastic. We might get a couple more by the time the snow stops tonight. It's in the 20s right now -- cold, but not frigid. And I just saw two magpies fly past my window. They were in the backyard earlier this week (well, two magpies were, I don't know if they were the same two). I was just thinking I don't see magpies as often as I used to. It would be lovely if these two would settle down and make a nest nearby -- perhaps even in one of our trees.

We did our usual Starbucks run this morning, despite the snow. Our one concession to it was going around 11:30 instead of 10. The boys got hot chocolate instead of their usual weird drinks. Teen A drank his quickly and munched down his ham & cheese croissant in the car, so that he was all done by the time I dropped him off at the library (to play on the computers in the Teen Lounge). He'll walk home in a couple of hours.

I can feel OK about the snow because we had some great melting this past week. Here is our lawn on Wednesday morning, after several warm days. Lovely big patches of lawn are visible and the street is almost clear of ice. It's so hard to deal with snow when the piles don't disappear, you just pile more and more snow on top of them. I know this doesn't look very attractive, but it made me so happy!

This was my week of medical/dental appointments, and what a week it was. Monday was the easy day -- I just went to the eye doctor and learned that my vision had not changed at all since last year and my eyes show no signs of damage due to diabetes. That was a nice appointment. 

Things went downhill from there.

Tuesday was my "stress echo" test. It wasn't all bad. I thought the whole procedure was quite interesting and I loved seeing and hearing my heart on the ultrasound. Such a hardworking heart! More than 61 years beating away. Hearts are such amazing devices.

But then I had to get up on the treadmill and I totally failed. Maybe I should have gone to the rec center and practiced walking on a treadmill to prepare. I wasn't sure whether I'd ever been on a treadmill in my life (maybe once?), and the experience was quite novel. I am a walker, of course, but I walk on level ground for the most part, and when I do go uphill, it isn't moving. When the treadmill started, I very quickly almost fell down, because it got ahead of me. Then I did all right for 20 seconds or so, and then it started to get ahead of me again. I wasn't aware of breathing too heavily, but the technician stopped the test at that point "due to patient safety with speed and grade," according to the report that was posted to the website the next day. Also according to the report, I have "Class IV functional capacity," which is the lowest level, and I am at "intermediate risk for future cardiovascular events."

So now I don't know what to think. From other sections of the report, it appears that my heart is in great shape, no blockages, nothing wrong at all. Sweet, lovely heart! But then there's that Class IV functional capacity. Does that just mean I'm out of shape? Is it from being fat? I've searched and searched the web and I can't figure it out. This is the official definition: 

Class IV Functional Capacity: Patients with cardiac disease resulting in inability to carry on any physical activity without discomfort. Symptoms of heart failure or the anginal syndrome may be present even at rest. If any physical activity is undertaken, discomfort is increased.

That sounds bad, right? But what is my cardiac disease, if my heart has no blockages or anything else wrong? While consulting Dr. Google, I learned that in addition to functional capacity, there is also something called Objective Assessment, which I think is based on what they see on the echocardiogram. If I'm reading my report correctly, I think I would be in Class A: "No objective evidence of cardiovascular disease." But I'm not sure about that, and it doesn't actually say that on the report. What does all this mean? I guess I will have to wait until April 4th to find out, because that is when I see the cardiologist again. It's a great worry, and yet I don't know whether I should be worried or not. Maybe I will just be told to embark on some big exercise program.

Now we come to Wednesday. Wednesday was tooth-pulling day, in preparation for getting braces next week. My appointment was at 3 pm, at my regular dentist's. They numbed me up extensively and then started to pull. And pull. And pull. And finally the tooth popped out. They let me take it home. It's so weird looking!

And so am I! It never occurred to me how strange I would look without one of my front teeth. I look like a homeless person, a meth addict. I've started wearing a mask again in public, even though we no longer have a mask mandate, so as not to frighten people. Missing teeth among the (housed) Boulder populace are unusual.

And then the pain started. When I called the dentist, on Friday, to tell him how much pain I was still in, he told me I probably don't have what is called "dry socket," where the clotting process is interrupted and the nerve is exposed. But clearly (he said) the nerve has suffered some abuse, probably from the difficulty he had pulling out the tooth. I'm now (four days after the procedure) taking the whole thing more seriously, alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen, taking the painkillers BEFORE the pain gets a foothold, trying not to touch my chin on that side, etc. I'm very tired all the time. I can barely eat anything. I certainly can't bite down on anything. I have become aware that it will be years before I can eat an apple normally again. So weird.

But none of this is for any bad reason. Having the tooth pulled is the first step toward having straight teeth, functional teeth, teeth that can bite right down on a juicy apple or a crisp carrot without one tooth going further behind the other and perhaps chipping off a little bit when it hits another tooth in the wrong place. I'm a lucky person to be able to afford to do this. Keep thinking that.

Of course, if I die of a cardiovascular event before I get through the orthodontia, this may not have been such a good idea. I'm trying not to dwell on that possibility. After all, anyone could die at any time.

Here is what our lawn looked like yesterday, Saturday morning, as the storm started. It began as rain/sleet, which is why the pavement is wet but there's no new whiteness. This view really made me happy. More than half of the lawn was uncovered before the new snow started last night. Only tiny patches of ice remained in the street. Both driveways were completely uncovered. Teen B and I took a nice walk Friday night and I didn't have to worry about ice at all -- except in just a couple of places. So nice to be able to walk freely.

And now here's what our lawn looked like this morning, just a day later. Oh well. It's very pretty. You honestly can't complain about picture-postcard snow like this.

Rocket Boy is on his way home as I write. I don't know what time he left this morning -- undoubtedly later than he meant to -- but I know he's on the road now (he sent us all a text with photos of him crossing the Missouri River). If all goes well, he should be here Monday afternoon or early evening. I'm soooooooo looking forward to his visit. He hasn't been home in two months, since early January, and I've had all this medical stuff to deal with, and all this snow, and the TWINS -- who of course I love dearly, but sometimes it all gets to be a bit too much for me to cope with. I really need my partner by my side.

We have several things scheduled this coming week -- the twins' birthday, of course, and Teen A's annual IEP meeting, and the choir/orchestra concert at their school, and my BRACES (hopefully I'll be healed enough to be able to survive that). I'm also hoping to get some cleaning done tomorrow before Rocket Boy arrives, but I'm not optimistic about it. The pain, the tiredness -- it's hard to get anything done right now. I feel guilty and then I think, Class IV functional capacity! and I try to go easy on myself. I'll do what I can.

Yesterday would have been my father's 100th birthday, had he not died of heart disease at the very young age of 67 (Rocket Boy's age). I could not think how to celebrate it, but then my older sister mentioned that she had swept the floor in his honor. He was an outstanding floor-sweeper, took great pleasure in it. "Get out of my dirt!" he would holler at me or my little sister if we dared to walk down the hallway when he was at work. He was also very good at cleaning the kitchen. So I decided I would clean my kitchen to a fare-thee-well (my mother's description of how my father did it) and then sweep the floor.

It got late, I was tired. I did clean the kitchen, but not really to a fare-thee-well. I was too tired to sweep the floor. But I might try again later today.

Marching on

A little premature, that title, but it's almost March. March is not my favorite month, normally, but like last year Rocket Boy is going to try to be here for most of it, so that's got me in a good mood. A tentative good mood, perhaps I should say. His boss, who is retiring, wrote a letter to the incoming boss saying that RB should be approved to telework more extensively, one month in St. Louis and one month in Boulder -- starting April 1st! So next week RB is going to try to get that corrected to March 1st (he actually doesn't plan to get here until March 7th or 8th). Oh, sigh, what a pain if he can't come until April. He'd miss the twins' birthday, Spring Break... I'm not going to think about it. Whatever will happen, will happen. It will be OK.

The twins are turning 14, and I always get a little stressed about their birthday, but this year I'm not really feeling it. (In fact, it would be a good idea if I got a little more stressed, so that I would remember to go shopping!) Unlike last year, we can probably plan some sort of little party for each of them -- a movie date with friends, mini golf, something like that. And Rocket Boy will be here (we hope) to make it all happen.

We survived our deep freeze this past week. I'm not sure how low it got officially, but it was -8 on our front porch on Tuesday morning and -10 on Wednesday, and both days the high was less than 10. That's too cold for me -- I didn't go out and shovel or go for a walk, and I drove the twins to the bus stop both days (I made them walk home in the afternoon, when it was, you know, 7 or so). Unfortunately our neighbor with the snowblower decided it was too cold for him to do the walks, but we didn't really get that much snow, only about 5 inches over three days, and it was that very dry, light snow that doesn't stick to anything. Now we're warming up and we have to dig the tramped-on snow off the sidewalk, but it's coming along. I'll go out and work on it some more later. 

One reason I didn't want to exert myself in the cold is that my cardiologist -- yes, I have a cardiologist now -- told me not to do anything majorly exhausting before my stress test, which is happening this coming week. I have a bunch of appointments this week: an eye exam tomorrow, the stress test Tuesday, and I'm getting a tooth pulled (to prepare for braces) on Wednesday. The eye exam is sounding almost fun compared to the other two. 

It occurred to me that I won't do well on the stress test if I'm completely out of shape, so yesterday I spent half an hour shoveling snow (with help from the kids, especially Teen A. We're supposed to have a whole week of warmer temps now, so maybe the enormous piles on our lawn will finally start to diminish.

I also took a very leisurely half-hour walk with Teen B and I'll take another this afternoon and one on Monday. I guess that's all I can do.

I'm also preparing for the stress test by NOT going off my blood pressure medicine, though I would like to. All week I've been having intense anxiety, which I think is due to the Lisinopril. My rule of thumb is that if a medicine has a possible mental side effect, I'll be sure to get it, and I seem to be getting this one. It's bad, because the anxiety is leading me to eat more, especially sweets and junk food, so I'm gaining weight and generally not feeling good (my blood sugar is probably too high, despite Metformin). I need to talk to my doctor about alternatives, but I thought I'd better not touch that until the stress test is over. I'm hoping the stress test will show a healthy heart, but we'll see.

All week I thought about how I might talk to my doctor about this, and I kept coming up against this question: how do you know your anxiety is caused by Lisinopril and not by, you know, just regular stuff? It's a fair question. I'm very anxious about what's happening in the world right now, especially Putin's invasion of Ukraine. 

But that's not really personal anxiety, and I can't think of anything in my life I should be anxious about. I was worried about seeing the cardiologist, but he was nice, and he doesn't really think there's anything wrong with me. We're doing the stress test because I have so many risk factors. I was worried about the storm, but that turned out OK too. It helped a lot that we didn't get a big dump of snow.

I looked up articles online about how to deal with anxiety -- because it would certainly be easier if I could deal with this side effect and not have to change medications. But most of the suggestions weren't too helpful. Exercise: yeah, not when it's 10 below. Write down your feelings: but I don't have any feelings about this. I'm not anxious about anything in particular, I'm just anxious. 

I found it very difficult to get through the days when the kids were at school. I was too anxious to do anything -- I couldn't even read. That's really saying something when I can't read. I finished a supernatural mystery on Tuesday and then couldn't get started on anything else until Friday evening. I wanted to read the book I've chosen to be my "biography" of James Garfield (our 20th president), Destiny of the Republic: A Tale of Madness, Medicine, and the Murder of a President by Candice Millard, but I couldn't get into it -- even though it's a great book, really interesting. Everything about it made me anxious. I was anxious about Garfield getting elected, dealing with Congress, getting shot... I was anxious about the murderer not paying his boardinghouse bills. Everything set me off.

This weekend, with the kids home, I've made progress on it, and in fact I'll probably finish it tonight -- if I can keep the anxiety at bay. But it's really hard. Not to mention ridiculous. Why should I care if the man who shot Garfield in 1881 paid his boardinghouse bill or not? Why is that a source of stress for me?

So, anyway, that's where things stand. Everything's just fine except that I'm losing my mind. But that's nothing new. Oh, and I can't stop eating. All I want to do is stuff my face -- very weird, considering I'm back on Metformin. Metformin makes it difficult to process a lot of food, so night after night I'm having trouble sleeping due to my stuffed stomach and have to take a lot of antacids. And then I want to eat more, and more and more. I'm thinking I really need to get off the Lisinopril.

The first week of March I've got a bunch of medical appointments, as I mentioned, and the last two parent-teacher conferences (we had seven this past week). I also will try to start my next book for the Classics Challenge -- have to request it from the library first. It would really help if I could get my anxiety under control first, but we'll see. I'll try to work on the twins' birthday and prepare for Rocket Boy's visit and work on the taxes. Ha. Well, I'll do what I can.

The longest month

I don't usually feel this way about February -- oh, probably I sometimes do but I've just forgotten, the joys of being old and letting go of the past -- but this has been a very long month so far. We had more snow this week, 7.3 inches this time, and there is still so much snow on our lawn from the previous storms, despite the warm days in between (today it was 63, go figure). We have had 27 inches of snow so far THIS MONTH, and 57 inches of snow so far this season. Some years we don't get that much for the whole year, and we still have two more potentially snowy months after this one.

And now we're going to have another storm! This one may not dump that much, because it's going to be COLD. The predicted highs for Monday through Friday: 45, 16, 16, 23, 29. And the predicted lows for the same nights: 4, 1, 2, 5, 9. Snow is predicted for Monday night, Tuesday and Tuesday night, Wednesday and Wednesday night, and possibly Thursday. That's unusual, to have so many days in a row with snow, even light snow. I am actually worried about this storm, though I'm not sure why. Worried that our power might go off, maybe. What on earth will I do if that happens? Our space heater is at the cabin and we don't have a fireplace.

I know, I know, why do I live in Colorado if I can't deal with cold and snow? Well, I can deal with it, I just complain about it a lot. I love watching the snow fall, and I love the way the mountains look when they're covered with snow, and I love going out on the front porch in the mornings and the evenings and breathing the cold air. I don't love shoveling, but we are well equipped with snow shovels and the kids have been helping. I even found one more after I took this picture.

I used to love going for walks in the snow. But I don't have a decent pair of boots and I'm afraid of falling on the ice. If Rocket Boy moved back to Boulder he could help me (and the kids) find boots that fit, and we could interact with the snow in more positive ways.

What if he never comes back? What would I do then?

An annoying thing happened this week: the bulb in the overhead light in our bedroom went out, and I can't change it on my own, at least I couldn't the last time I tried. It's a terribly complicated light fixture and even Rocket Boy has trouble with it. The kids aren't tall enough to reach it, though Teen A will be soon. Anyway, I'm planning to just use the bedside lights and a little light on my dresser until RB arrives for his next visit, but the room always seems dark.

What would I do about that if he never came back? I would get rid of that light fixture and replace it with one I can work with.

***

Wordle was a little tricky today:

Wordle 246 5/6

⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟨🟩🟩
⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩
⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

But not impossible. I was amused by all the people on Twitter who didn't think it was a normal word, who don't even know what it means. I not only know what it means, I even say it from time to time, though I admit it's more of an academic or literary word than a regular word. But I got it. The only thing that threw me, as always, was the double letter. Once I realized that the first and last letters had to be the same, well, it was easy.

***

This was a big medical week -- well, only one appointment for me (Teen B also saw the orthodontist and Baby Kitty got his nails clipped at the vet), but it was an important one. I met my new doctor and I liked her. She put me back on Metformin -- my A1c had gone up rather alarmingly since August, but I hope I can get it to drop now. I've been taking 3 pills a day since Thursday and I'm definitely feeling it, that lovely lack of hunger or even interest in food. My blood pressure was high, 150/80, and so I agreed to start taking medication for that. I always used to have low blood pressure, but I decided it was time to accept the fact that things have changed. So now I am taking Lisinopril, one small pill each evening. It makes me feel a little weird, but I'm hoping I can adjust to it.

I had written a list of things I wanted to mention to her, and one of them was that episode of "chest pain" I had while shoveling last Sunday. I almost made it through the appointment without mentioning it, but at the last moment I said, "There's one more thing..." After she blew up at me because I didn't go to the emergency room when it happened, she made me have an EKG right then and there. Fortunately it was normal, so that means I didn't have a heart attack, but then she referred me to a cardiologist, so I'm seeing him tomorrow. Probably he'll tell me to go away and lose weight (at least that's the scenario I've dreamed up so far). He might order a stress test. I'm very much a typical heart disease candidate: in my 60s, diabetic, fat, and now high blood pressure, with a somewhat poor family history. The one thing I don't have is overall high cholesterol -- it's just 192 -- but my LDL is high, 123 when it should be below 100, and my HDL is a little low, 43.

It's impossible not to think about my father, who was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 1980 at age 58 and serious heart disease a year later, at age 59. He had a triple bypass that year, in September 1981, a stroke in October 1985, and he died just after his 67th birthday, in 1989. 

I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last year, at age 60. I do not want to die at 69. The twins would only be 22 or 23. I need to stick around for them and I need to stay reasonably healthy. So I need to pay attention to my doctors and follow their instructions, not just do whatever I feel like.

Another medical thing happened to us this week, but I just found out about it last night. Rocket Boy had another episode of cellulitis. I talked to him Thursday during the day, but he started coming down with it that night. He didn't go to Urgent Care, he didn't go to the hospital. He stayed home and went to bed early. He could have died! He managed to call his doctor at some point and they sent a prescription for an antibiotic to the pharmacy, but his car battery had died in the ice storm they had earlier in the week, so the car wouldn't start and he had to call AAA to jump it and then call them back again when it died again. They replaced his battery, which is something I didn't know they did for people. Anyway, when I talked to him last night he'd started taking the pills and thought he was feeling better. I asked if his leg was swollen and he said oh yeah, it was bad, and it has "polka dots" all over it. Christ! He could die! He could so easily die, and he's 850 miles away and there's crap all I can do about any of it.

This is another reason why I have to take care of myself. RB is not in good shape. Anything could happen at any time. It gives me chest pain to think about it.

***

Rocket Boy is planning to come out for a long visit in early March, in time for the twins' birthday on the 9th, and then stay until the end of the month, like last year. I've made a tentative cleaning plan, but I don't feel optimistic about my ability to carry it out. I guess I will just do my best. The house looks so awful. It is truly at the CHAOS stage (can't have anyone over syndrome). I would be embarrassed if someone came through the front door. I've never gotten the tree put away -- it's lying around in pieces and the big box that it's supposed to go into is blocking the path from the living room to the dining room. I haven't vacuumed since Christmas. I can't seem to get caught up with dishes. 

Don't panic. Just work along.

***

I guess that's about all I want to write about -- not a very cheerful post this week, somehow. I'm so worried about Rocket Boy, and I'm starting to be uneasy about my own health as well. Maybe I will feel better after I see the cardiologist.

I had a nice Zoom call with my old grad school friends, including one who I hadn't seen in, oh, 25 years. She zoomed in from Turkey and had some depressing stories to share of life under Erdogan. But it was really nice to see her again.

This coming week, in addition to the cardiologist and the scary winter storm, I have a lot of conferences scheduled with the kids' teachers. Two on Tuesday evening and a whole bunch on Thursday, like six or something, maybe seven. Other than that, just cleaning (I hope) and the usual stuff, trying to get the kids through their homework and all that. I think Teen A has another stupid art project to do, related to the nonfiction book we read recently. I read a couple of fun books last week and have another one going now. If I finish it soon, I might read a Presidential biography before the month ends. I really should start it tomorrow (Presidents Day), but it might be a few days later.

Snow, snow

Oh, February. I mustn't ever complain about snow, because we always need the moisture. But oh my, 10 more inches this week (actually 9.9 according to NOAA across the street, but I'm sure we got a tenth of an inch more in our yard), and it was heavy and wet. We have a wonderful neighbor who snowblows our walks, but when you get 10 inches, that's only the beginning. 

The snow fell on Friday, so yesterday and today we worked on it. It was in the 40s yesterday and the 50s (maybe 60s?) today, so that led to a lot of melting, a lot of flooded sidewalks. And today, working with the twins to open up the gutters so that the melted snow can reach the opening to the sewer (three doors down from us), I think I pulled a chest muscle. The sharp pain scared me -- am I having a heart attack? -- but later, reviewing the signs of a heart attack, I don't think it was a heart attack. The pain wasn't "squeezing," it was in the center and right, not the left side of my body, I wasn't short of breath, I didn't feel cold and clammy or nauseous. I felt like I ripped a muscle, and I still feel like that. It hurts a little to lift my arm. I took some ibuprofen and that has helped. I don't think I should put an ice pack on my chest.

What a pain. I've never pulled a chest muscle before, or whatever this muscle is. Probably if I'd been lifting weights like I'm supposed to be doing, this wouldn't have happened.

This week was very unimpressive, as weeks go. I've almost stopped pretending to make to-do lists, since I never do anything on them. I spent a few days mostly in bed, reading. Part of that was due to The Tale of Genji, which amazingly enough I managed to finish. But I also just didn't want to get up and do anything (the photo shows the snowy view out my window reflected in the mirror that I can see from my bed). I'm not sure if it's depression or I'm not feeling well. I think it's mainly February. I want to be hibernating, and so, therefore, I kind of am. What a bother to also need to do dishes and cooking and shopping and snow shoveling and laundry. No cleaning right now. Maybe in March I'll do some spring cleaning. The house could use it (once my chest muscle heals).

It was such a relief to finish Genji. That was, I believe, the hardest book on my Classics Challenge list, so now I feel like I can read anything. I'm not planning to move on to the next book until March, so for now I'm reading Barbara Pym, as I always do in February. For some years now I've read just two Pyms per year (in the old days I tried to read them all every February, and that was too hard). Last year I re-read Quartet in Autumn and The Sweet Dove Died, so this year I re-read her very last novel, A Few Green Leaves, which is actually one of my favorites, and then I went back to the beginning, to the posthumous collection of her early unpublished novels, Civil to Strangers. It's not one of my favorites -- I don't like the first three early novels in it -- but I adore the fourth, So Very Secret, so that's fun to read. And then I like some of the short stories.

Two of the early, unpublished Pym works that I don't like feature a character that is supposed to be her, Barbara, and a character that is supposed to be the young man she was in love with for many years, Henry Harvey, and I just don't have any patience for that relationship and the way she portrays it. The exception, barely, is her first published novel, Some Tame Gazelle, and that's because the Barbara character has become more of a character and less her (the Henry Harvey character is still irritating, but less so). But in her later books, though there's always a female character who stands in for her, they get gradually less like her and the books get better. There is a lesson to be learned there. In my own writing, I know I need to stop writing about myself.

(The blog doesn't count! Blogs are allowed to be about you.)

When I finish that volume, probably tomorrow, I'll still have two weeks to read fun things (i.e., not classic Japanese literature), before diving back into the Challenge. I have a stack of possibles. The March book group book is a mystery set in Iceland, because one of our members is planning to visit Iceland over Spring Break. We are thinking of going to Nebraska (the trip that was planned for 2020 and had to be cancelled due to the pandemic), so maybe I'll get the book group to read a Nebraska book for April. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the Icelandic mystery.

Wordle was hard today:

Wordle 239 4/6

⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜
⬜⬜⬜🟩🟩
⬜🟨🟨🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

For my first word, I chose "civil" because that was in the title of the Barbara Pym book I was reading. It's a dumb choice for a first Wordle word because it has a double letter, but it actually got me off to a good start, giving me the "i." My second word was "stain," which gave me the "in" ending. By my third word I had four out of five letters, but then I was stumped. I could not come up with a fifth word that had all those letters, never mind whether it was the right word or not. When I finally did hit on the right answer, at first I didn't even think it was a word, because I was pronouncing it wrong.

Teen B and I are enjoying doing Wordle together. He doesn't always get it on his own -- sometimes I have to help and sometimes he looks the word up (lots of people post the answer). Today I had to give him several hints. I don't make a big deal out of it if he cheats. I think it's excellent language practice for him, regardless of how much work he does. If he were more of a reader (i.e., if he ever read anything other than video game directions), it would be easier for him.

This coming week I have some things to do. Tomorrow is of course Valentine's Day and I feel as though I should do something for the twins, but I don't know what. Rocket Boy is sending a box, which I hope arrives tomorrow. It's probably candy from Merb's. And we have a bowl of Reese's hearts on the coffee table, plus lots of Girl Scout cookies in the freezer. So it would kind of be overkill if I made a Valentine's Day cake or cookies, but I still sort of feel like I ought to. We'll see. I'll probably be so low energy that I won't even clean the kitchen, and that will settle that.

Tuesday I see my new doctor. I was so cross with my doctor the last time I saw her that I determined I would never see her again. This meant, however, that I ran out of Metformin, because she would only prescribe a 3-month supply at a time. She required that I get my A1c tested AND come see her again before she'd renew the prescription, as if Metformin were a controlled substance or something. Stupid doctor. So I've been taking some really old extended-release Metformin left over from Kaiser, probably has lost some potency. So my blood sugar is probably up (might explain the lethargy? although I don't have any other typical symptoms -- not very thirsty, not peeing a lot). I really hope I like this new doctor and she doesn't think I'm a flake for quitting the other doctor. I'd like to get back on regular Metformin.

Wednesday we're supposed to have more snow, but they haven't made any predictions yet about how much snow. I hope it's not another 10 inches. No, bad, must not complain about snow. But still. That night is supposed to be "Transition Night" for the twins' new high school, and I hope it won't be cancelled. The Special Ed transition night was already cancelled due to snow (actually due to ice, it was the night of that ice storm we had a few weeks ago), and they said instead of rescheduling they would just combine it with the regular Transition Night. So now if the regular Transition Night is cancelled, I don't know what happens.

Thursday Teen B has his monthly orthodontia appointment, at which he will once again get yelled at for not wearing his bands and I will get yelled at for not forcing him to wear his bands.

I also need to bug my dentist about scheduling the "extraction" that needs to be done before I can get braces, and supposedly the eye doctor is going to call about scheduling an appointment (and I might as well schedule the twins for appointments too, since the place I took them to last year has closed). I also need to call the vet about having Mr. Merlino's nails clipped. 

So, a fun week -- a lot of medical stuff, more snow, maybe a school thing... well, it's just life.

I had a funny experience this week. Early Wednesday morning I had a vivid dream that I remembered every detail of, very unusual. That day, the 9th, was the 110th birthday of one of my aunts, and the dream was about my cousins, her sons, so I told them about the dream. Neither one of them remembered it was her birthday and certainly not her 110th (I noticed it on my birthday calendar later that day). The thing is, I felt as though I was supposed to share the dream with them -- even though the dream itself was basically goofy. But that got me started thinking about other times when I've had dreams that felt as though they were supposed to be shared. The most recent was back in October, when I dreamed about my sister's best friend -- and it turned out to be her birthday that day too. Again, the dream itself was goofy, but it seemed so odd that I would dream about my sister's friend on her birthday, especially since I had no idea it was her birthday. There was also something in the dream that seemed to come straight out of a feature story on NPR from the day before, according to Rocket Boy -- except that I hadn't listened to NPR and didn't know the story.

Sometimes I really feel as though I'm receiving messages from somewhere -- and then other times I think, no, it's just a coincidence. I certainly can't do it at will. 

Well, I'll leave it at that.

It's very late -- the twins have been in bed almost an hour -- and I should take a shower and go to bed. Or maybe do the dishes and go to bed -- I could take a shower tomorrow. Or maybe just go to bed. I'm tired. But I'd feel better if the dishes were done. OK, I'll do the dishes. And maybe take a shower. And go to bed. Anything I forgot to say, I can say next week.

Reading post: The Tale of Genji

I have finished my first book for the 2022 Classics Challenge: The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu, which was written probably 1001-1008, a thousand years ago. I chose it to fulfill category #8, "A pre-1800 classic." 

I started reading the book on January 21st, and finished it today, February 10th, so it took exactly three weeks. It seemed like forever! The copy that I read was 1155 pages and I haven't read anything remotely that long in ages. Actually, what else is that long? It took a long time just to cast my eyes over that many pages, and it was also physically difficult to read because the little paperback from the library was so heavy. I tried to be careful with it. It's a well-bound book, but I wonder how many readings it can withstand?

The Tale of Genji is considered to be one of the first novels ever written (there were a couple of Japanese works in the previous century that might qualify as the very first), and also the first psychological novel, in that people's thoughts and emotions are what drives the story. The novel played an extremely important role in Japanese culture for hundreds of years (though it fell out of favor in the 1700s), despite the fact that the language in which it was written quickly became archaic and unreadable. It's not just westerners who need Genji translated; modern Japanese readers do as well. I'm guessing reading Genji in the original classical Japanese today is something like reading Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Maybe even more difficult.

I didn't really have any idea what I was getting into when I decided to read Genji. First of all, there are four main translations to choose from. How did I choose? I looked at what was on the shelf at the library and read that. It's the Waley translation, which is 100 years old. It's still liked by some people -- all the subsequent translations have issues too -- but this one really has issues. For starters, Waley omits one of the 54 chapters (chapter 38). No one knows why. To make up for this, he breaks chapter 49 into two parts in order to end up with the required 54 chapters. In addition, on the sentence/paragraph level, Waley adds, subtracts, and gets things wrong.

To help me read Genji, I found another book in the library called The Tale of Genji: A Visual Companion by Melissa McCormick. Harvard University owns a set of Genji illustrations for the 54 chapters that was completed in 1510 (the earliest known complete set). McCormick's book presents the painting and calligraphy page for each chapter, and describes what is going on in the picture and its connection to the chapter. So after I read each chapter of Waley's Genji, I looked at the related pages in McCormick's book. And I started to notice something odd -- McCormick often refers to things that I did not just read. Either they were missing entirely from Waley's translation or they were different -- things like the number of children someone has, or who said what to whom, or what someone's name is. I don't know whether it's always Waley who messed up, but McCormick's analysis is based on the Dennis Washburn translation (the most recent), which has issues of its own, but is supposed to be pretty accurate. So probably it's the Waley translation that's so off. It was very disconcerting.

Partway through this long book I started to think -- what on earth am I reading? Is it actually The Tale of Genji, or is it just a book sort of loosely based on Genji by some old British guy? (Waley was my paternal grandfather's age, actually, born in 1889.)

I thought about switching translations and starting over. I did, I thought about it, even several hundred pages in. And then I read more about the other translations. They're all problematic. The one I probably should have read, by Royall Tyler, is supposed to be quite difficult to understand, because he comes the closest to Lady Murasaki's original. And then I read, on a blog, the recommendation that one read an easy version, like Waley's Genji, first, and later try reading Tyler's version. Fine, I thought. Someday in the distant future when I have nothing else to read, I will read Tyler's Genji. Problem solved.

But I just want to make clear that I don't really know what I read, or how close or far it is from the original. This is always the problem with translations, and certainly with older translations of really old works. I thought about Beowulf, which I read in January 2008 (before my twins were born in March). Beowulf is probably older than Genji, though the text that we have of it was produced around the same time, about 1000 years ago. I read the Seamus Heaney translation, which has been criticized too. But I loved it! I enjoyed reading it so much, especially in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep due to being 7 months pregnant with twins. Heaney's translation provided me with an exquisite reading experience, and can you really ask more of a 1000+-year-old story?

Translation is problematic, but it is also a wonderful thing. If we didn't have translations, flawed though they may be, we'd miss out on what all the people who speak other languages are trying to say. And even though we don't get it exactly, we get a version of their words, we approach it, we try. I think it's worth it.

I'll probably have more thoughts about translation as we go along this year, since my first seven books will be translated texts. But Genji is really a special case, being so old and written in such a weird way, and having been translated so many times. In most cases I think I will be lucky to find even one translation. We shall see.

***

OK, so with all that said, what about the book? It's pretty amazing. I don't think I would put it on my Top Ten List of Favorite Novels, as this blogger does, but I'm not sure what's on that list for me anyway. I didn't find the book transcendental, as Moby Dick was (speaking of really long classic novels), but it was fascinating.

So the book tells the story of Genji, a son of an Emperor of Japan and one of his concubines, in the 10th century (note that it's actually historical fiction, since Lady Murasaki was writing in the early 11th century). Genji is made a commoner -- removed from the line of succession -- but nonetheless takes an active part in court life. At one point he is banished to a distant town by a subsequent Emperor (his half-brother), but is later pardoned, and the next Emperor (who is actually Genji's son, though believed to be the son of Genji's father) eventually raises Genji to the rank of Retired Emperor, even though he was never Emperor. And then Genji dies, and the last 400 pages are about the adventures of two young men, Genji's supposed youngest child, Kaoru (who isn't actually his) and Genji's grandson Niou, son of the current Emperor (the Empress is Genji's daughter).

None of this political stuff is very important to the story, however, at least it didn't seem that way to me. (I guess it's important as a frame for the story, to explain, in part, why Genji behaves as he does.) The bulk of the story is about Genji's love affairs -- and later Kaoru's and Niou's love affairs. Genji has almost no self-control, constantly jumping into bed with new women, but he treats them well afterwards. At one point he builds a new palace for himself with special quarters for each of his women. Kaoru and Niou, on the other hand, are sort of anti-Genjis (as well as sort of doppelgangers of each other), and neither of them treats women particularly well. Niou jumps from bed to bed, paying no attention to the damage he causes, while Kaoru holds back and has trouble acting when he needs to.

I know I'm not supposed to impose my modern sensibilities on the book, but the Heian period in Japan had very strange rules for male-female relationships, judging by Genji. High status men could sleep around widely, have multiple wives and concubines, and there was no shame involved in the children who naturally resulted. Their access to these women was very limited, however, until they had managed a conquest. All their (non-written) communication took place with the women hidden behind screens and curtains. Over and over the story describes the hasty putting up of screens when a man shows up. And the men all turn into peeping toms, trying to find ways to see even the tiniest glimpse of a woman's sleeve, or a lock of her hair -- at which point, they fall madly in love/lust with her. The McCormick book was helpful here, as many of the paintings show Genji or Kaoru peeping through a hole in a fence, etc., to see this or that woman.

Sometimes a man does manage to grab a woman's sleeve through the curtain, and then it's all over -- he rapes her and she belongs to him. Of course, it's not described as rape. That's my modern sensibilities getting in the way again. The men stay until dawn and by then the women have fallen in love with them too. It's all very odd.

The other way that people communicate is by letter, and they often enclose a poem they've just written. People also make up poems as part of regular conversation, and there are poem competitions. These poems are waka style, five lines of 5-7-5-7-7 syllables, and the book is chock full of them (795 in all, according to McCormick). The Waley translation folds them into the text, but other translations set them out, so they look more obviously like poems. Being able to quickly make up appropriate poems (often including puns and allusions to famous poems and stories) is considered a necessary skill for the upper classes, as is beautiful calligraphy which of course they use to write down these poems. Genji and others make a lot of snap judgments about people based on their calligraphy. Choice of paper matters too. Or sometimes someone might send a small branch from a flowering tree with a poem on a scrap of paper tied to it.

Despite the weirdness of all this, I kept thinking of connections with modern life. For example, the poems reminded me of social media. Back in the year 1000 or so, in royal Japanese society, people were expected to come up with snappy little poems at the drop of a hat; in the year 2022, people are expected to come up with snappy little tweets just as quickly. Also, these days couples apparently often don't meet in person until they've first become acquainted through the "screen" of a dating site. It's really not so different.

Many times while reading Genji I got tired of it and wanted to quit. And then I'd come to a chapter that completely captivated me, and I couldn't put it down. When Genji died, I really didn't want to go on reading. He annoyed me constantly throughout the first 750 pages, but when he died, I felt absolutely bereft (as did many of the other characters). The first line of the next chapter: "Genji was dead, and there was no one to take his place." It's so sad! 

But people do take his place, specifically Kaoru and Niou, and they do a very bad job of it. I was so annoyed with them both for a long time. But then I became captivated by the story of Ukifune (who they both chase), and I couldn't put the book down. That's why I finished today -- yesterday I read about 150 pages straight through.

I should mention that the book is generally felt to be "about" the impermanence of life, mono no aware in Japanese. The fact that the book is so long, and we watch characters grow up, grow old, and die -- and other lives go on afterwards -- makes this concept easier to see.

I haven't done the book justice in this post, but I think I'm going to stop here. If you're interested in the book, there is plenty of information about it on the web. I found this blog useful, as well as another I linked to up above. And of course Wikipedia and all that. 

Do I recommend The Tale of Genji? Well, it depends on what you're looking for. If you'd like to read an enormously long story about a wildly different culture of 1000 years ago, then yeah, go for it. As I said above, it's pretty amazing.

February doldrums

That's not a very cheerful blog post title. I will change it if I think of a better one while I'm writing this. But I must admit it's accurate, so far. Despite all the chocolate -- and we've already eaten a lot of it -- and despite the Girl Scout cookies that were delivered today (see photo -- this is half of them, with a duplicate box of each waiting in the garage), February isn't feeling very cheery.

Usually I look forward to writing my blog post on Sunday afternoons, but today I'm not feeling the joy. I don't feel like describing my blah feelings.  

I suppose this is just more depression. I don't feel sad, but I'm having more than my usual trouble getting things done. It doesn't even feel like what my mother used to call "iron bands," the feeling that you just simply can't do whatever it is, that you're being held in place by invisible iron bands. This is milder. I think about what I need to do (litter boxes, dishes, finally putting the stupid Christmas tree away), and I think, hmm, OK, and then I don't do it. Any of it.

I don't think it's because I'm tired. I think I have a normal amount of energy, or nearly. When I manage to get out the door for a walk, there's a spring in my step. It's hard to get out the door, but not because I can't move my arms and legs. It's more like I think, hmm, I should take a walk. And then I don't. I do a little better on the weekends because then Teen B (at least) goes with me. We walk to the school and play basketball with whatever ball we can find lying around. Today was excellent: we found three balls. We played for a long time.

I think part of the problem is The Tale of Genji, which I am continuing to slog through. Last Sunday I was on page 494 and today I am on page 850, so that means I read all of 356 pages this past week. My normal reading pace is faster than that, but Genji is not a fast-paced book. OK, wait, I also read the book group book, which was 170 pages, so that's a more reasonable page count. And this means I only have 305 pages of Genji left to read. Only 8 or 9 chapters, depending on how you count. At my usual rate of about 2 chapters per day, I might finish by Thursday. But on the down side, Genji (the character) is dead and I am deep in the so-called "Uji chapters," which are not very interesting. I now know that the first two thirds of Genji are considered more interesting than the last third. In fact, it is believed by some that Lady Murasaki did not even write this section.

But I still have to read it, if I want to complete this Challenge. And so I slog on. And it is true that it is distracting me from regular life, at least a little. I've spent some time reading about Japan and remembering when I was there, 36 years ago almost. April of 1986. Immersing myself in 10th century Japan means I don't have to think about 21st century America, or at least not as much. I still try to skim the New York Times home page every day, so that I'll do well on the Weekly Quiz, but as soon as I see an upsetting article, I'm gone -- and so many of the articles are upsetting.

I didn't do well on the quiz this week. The New York Times is very stern with me: "Your score is below your recent average." Then it tries to get me to read its digest, so I'll do better on the quiz. To me, that seems like cheating.

I am doing pretty well with Wordle, though. Teen B has gotten interested in Wordle, and we have a low-key competition going to see who can solve the word fastest. Here are my results for today:

Wordle 232 4/6

🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜
🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜
🟩🟨🟩⬜🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Teen B also got it in four tries, but that was because I gave him a hint (there's a double letter in it) and he peeked at my screen and saw that the first letter was an "S." He struggles with it a bit, putting in somewhat random combinations of letters, but today he got lucky -- two of them were words. I looked at his screen and said, "Those aren't words! Why did they let you use those?" and then I looked them up and hmm, turned out they were words. But not words he knows, not even words I know. Anyway.

I'm trying to think of things that happened this week. I saw the orthodontist again on Monday and they took x-rays and photographs. I'm going to have one tooth pulled and then they'll put on the bands. When the orthodontist (who graduated from dental school the year I graduated from high school) looked at my x-rays he said, "Whew, that's a lot of dental work! Root canals, crowns, fillings..." I pointed out that I am old, but he said kids today don't get cavities like we did. These days dentists "seal" kids' teeth so they don't have decay. I know he's right -- when we saw the dentist a couple weeks ago, after a full year, nobody had any cavities. It was crazy. He said he wondered how dentists pay off their student loans these days, with no dental work to do.

So now I'm waiting to hear from my dentist, so we can schedule that extraction. I'm dreading the braces but also kind of looking forward to them. I keep feeling my funky teeth with my tongue, thinking, huh, maybe in a year or two it won't be like that anymore.

We had another big snowstorm, about 10 inches, and wonder of wonders, they cancelled school completely. We spent Wednesday sitting at home. I did go out in the afternoon and shovel the driveway (a neighbor snowblows the sidewalks) and uncover the car, so that I'd be able to drive the twins to the bus stop on Thursday, because it was -12 on our front porch when I got up that morning. Even at -12 (actually it was -10 when we left the house), the twins refused to wear their warm coats. They just wore their dumb sweatshirts. Stupid twins.

I made lovely squash-apple soup on Thursday, but we didn't actually eat it until Friday night. Thursday, Teen B and I went to "WinterFest" at the school. It wasn't very well attended compared with two years ago (they didn't have it last year), but it was OK. The main problem (and the reason it wasn't well attended) was that it was so cold! You could be either indoors or outdoors -- outdoors they had space heaters and a hot chocolate bar, but the hot chocolate bar was a little disappointing because the whipped cream froze and wouldn't come out of the cans. We settled for mini marshmallows instead and hurried back indoors. I felt sorry for the kids who were manning the bar. Indoors there was pizza and a Spanish version of bingo called Loteria. I found it a little difficult to distinguish the words because I am going deaf and because (of course) the caller was wearing a mask! and Teen B found it difficult because he doesn't know Spanish. We went in the gym and played a round of cornhole and then we agreed it was time to go home.

So we had the soup on Friday night instead, but the kids didn't like it! Rotten kids. It's such a lovely soup, too. We ate out Saturday, at Shake Shack -- not worth going to, we agreed, just as we agreed when we went to it last summer but then apparently forgot and went again. Whatever. Tonight we're having the lovely soup again, that is, I'm having it again tonight, and I'll probably make scrambled eggs or something for the kids. But first I should clean the kitchen. Sigh.

This week they have tomorrow off, but not for weather. It's some teacher work day thing. I'm in favor of all such days, so it's fine. We'll get to sleep late for the third day in a row, and then spend more time lazing around with kitties. This photo shows the beautiful Mr. Merlino (aka Baby Kitty) with all his fish toys. The regular fish and the fish skeleton came in a toy can, but I don't know where it is. The fish in the middle is actually a fish taco. Mr. Merlino loves them all.

I won't cook tomorrow night, because I get to eat out at my book group, but I'll cook Tuesday, something full of vegetables that the twins won't like. Also, I should think of something to mail to Rocket Boy for Valentine's Day. I could make Valentine's cookies or brownies or something. Just don't have the energy! But I do have a card for him. Maybe that's enough. I know he'll appreciate whatever I manage to send.