Sunday, February 20, 2022

The longest month

I don't usually feel this way about February -- oh, probably I sometimes do but I've just forgotten, the joys of being old and letting go of the past -- but this has been a very long month so far. We had more snow this week, 7.3 inches this time, and there is still so much snow on our lawn from the previous storms, despite the warm days in between (today it was 63, go figure). We have had 27 inches of snow so far THIS MONTH, and 57 inches of snow so far this season. Some years we don't get that much for the whole year, and we still have two more potentially snowy months after this one.

And now we're going to have another storm! This one may not dump that much, because it's going to be COLD. The predicted highs for Monday through Friday: 45, 16, 16, 23, 29. And the predicted lows for the same nights: 4, 1, 2, 5, 9. Snow is predicted for Monday night, Tuesday and Tuesday night, Wednesday and Wednesday night, and possibly Thursday. That's unusual, to have so many days in a row with snow, even light snow. I am actually worried about this storm, though I'm not sure why. Worried that our power might go off, maybe. What on earth will I do if that happens? Our space heater is at the cabin and we don't have a fireplace.

I know, I know, why do I live in Colorado if I can't deal with cold and snow? Well, I can deal with it, I just complain about it a lot. I love watching the snow fall, and I love the way the mountains look when they're covered with snow, and I love going out on the front porch in the mornings and the evenings and breathing the cold air. I don't love shoveling, but we are well equipped with snow shovels and the kids have been helping. I even found one more after I took this picture.

I used to love going for walks in the snow. But I don't have a decent pair of boots and I'm afraid of falling on the ice. If Rocket Boy moved back to Boulder he could help me (and the kids) find boots that fit, and we could interact with the snow in more positive ways.

What if he never comes back? What would I do then?

An annoying thing happened this week: the bulb in the overhead light in our bedroom went out, and I can't change it on my own, at least I couldn't the last time I tried. It's a terribly complicated light fixture and even Rocket Boy has trouble with it. The kids aren't tall enough to reach it, though Teen A will be soon. Anyway, I'm planning to just use the bedside lights and a little light on my dresser until RB arrives for his next visit, but the room always seems dark.

What would I do about that if he never came back? I would get rid of that light fixture and replace it with one I can work with.

***

Wordle was a little tricky today:

Wordle 246 5/6

⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟨🟩🟩
⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩
⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

But not impossible. I was amused by all the people on Twitter who didn't think it was a normal word, who don't even know what it means. I not only know what it means, I even say it from time to time, though I admit it's more of an academic or literary word than a regular word. But I got it. The only thing that threw me, as always, was the double letter. Once I realized that the first and last letters had to be the same, well, it was easy.

***

This was a big medical week -- well, only one appointment for me (Teen B also saw the orthodontist and Baby Kitty got his nails clipped at the vet), but it was an important one. I met my new doctor and I liked her. She put me back on Metformin -- my A1c had gone up rather alarmingly since August, but I hope I can get it to drop now. I've been taking 3 pills a day since Thursday and I'm definitely feeling it, that lovely lack of hunger or even interest in food. My blood pressure was high, 150/80, and so I agreed to start taking medication for that. I always used to have low blood pressure, but I decided it was time to accept the fact that things have changed. So now I am taking Lisinopril, one small pill each evening. It makes me feel a little weird, but I'm hoping I can adjust to it.

I had written a list of things I wanted to mention to her, and one of them was that episode of "chest pain" I had while shoveling last Sunday. I almost made it through the appointment without mentioning it, but at the last moment I said, "There's one more thing..." After she blew up at me because I didn't go to the emergency room when it happened, she made me have an EKG right then and there. Fortunately it was normal, so that means I didn't have a heart attack, but then she referred me to a cardiologist, so I'm seeing him tomorrow. Probably he'll tell me to go away and lose weight (at least that's the scenario I've dreamed up so far). He might order a stress test. I'm very much a typical heart disease candidate: in my 60s, diabetic, fat, and now high blood pressure, with a somewhat poor family history. The one thing I don't have is overall high cholesterol -- it's just 192 -- but my LDL is high, 123 when it should be below 100, and my HDL is a little low, 43.

It's impossible not to think about my father, who was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 1980 at age 58 and serious heart disease a year later, at age 59. He had a triple bypass that year, in September 1981, a stroke in October 1985, and he died just after his 67th birthday, in 1989. 

I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last year, at age 60. I do not want to die at 69. The twins would only be 22 or 23. I need to stick around for them and I need to stay reasonably healthy. So I need to pay attention to my doctors and follow their instructions, not just do whatever I feel like.

Another medical thing happened to us this week, but I just found out about it last night. Rocket Boy had another episode of cellulitis. I talked to him Thursday during the day, but he started coming down with it that night. He didn't go to Urgent Care, he didn't go to the hospital. He stayed home and went to bed early. He could have died! He managed to call his doctor at some point and they sent a prescription for an antibiotic to the pharmacy, but his car battery had died in the ice storm they had earlier in the week, so the car wouldn't start and he had to call AAA to jump it and then call them back again when it died again. They replaced his battery, which is something I didn't know they did for people. Anyway, when I talked to him last night he'd started taking the pills and thought he was feeling better. I asked if his leg was swollen and he said oh yeah, it was bad, and it has "polka dots" all over it. Christ! He could die! He could so easily die, and he's 850 miles away and there's crap all I can do about any of it.

This is another reason why I have to take care of myself. RB is not in good shape. Anything could happen at any time. It gives me chest pain to think about it.

***

Rocket Boy is planning to come out for a long visit in early March, in time for the twins' birthday on the 9th, and then stay until the end of the month, like last year. I've made a tentative cleaning plan, but I don't feel optimistic about my ability to carry it out. I guess I will just do my best. The house looks so awful. It is truly at the CHAOS stage (can't have anyone over syndrome). I would be embarrassed if someone came through the front door. I've never gotten the tree put away -- it's lying around in pieces and the big box that it's supposed to go into is blocking the path from the living room to the dining room. I haven't vacuumed since Christmas. I can't seem to get caught up with dishes. 

Don't panic. Just work along.

***

I guess that's about all I want to write about -- not a very cheerful post this week, somehow. I'm so worried about Rocket Boy, and I'm starting to be uneasy about my own health as well. Maybe I will feel better after I see the cardiologist.

I had a nice Zoom call with my old grad school friends, including one who I hadn't seen in, oh, 25 years. She zoomed in from Turkey and had some depressing stories to share of life under Erdogan. But it was really nice to see her again.

This coming week, in addition to the cardiologist and the scary winter storm, I have a lot of conferences scheduled with the kids' teachers. Two on Tuesday evening and a whole bunch on Thursday, like six or something, maybe seven. Other than that, just cleaning (I hope) and the usual stuff, trying to get the kids through their homework and all that. I think Teen A has another stupid art project to do, related to the nonfiction book we read recently. I read a couple of fun books last week and have another one going now. If I finish it soon, I might read a Presidential biography before the month ends. I really should start it tomorrow (Presidents Day), but it might be a few days later.

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