Reading Post: Review of The Pathfinder, or, The Inland Sea

OK, folks, if you're not interested in what I read, ignore this post, OK?

I've finished my first book for the 2020 classics challenge, The Pathfinder, or, The Inland Sea by James Fenimore Cooper, which was published in 1840 (but set in 1759). This fits into category #9: Classic with Nature in the Title. In fact, Nature is only in the subtitle, but I'm hoping that counts, since I had a terrible time coming up with something for this category.

The Pathfinder is part of Cooper's Leatherstocking series, the most famous of which is The Last of the Mohicans -- which I haven't read. I was afraid that would be a problem, but it wasn't. Pathfinder makes a lot of references to Mohicans, which was written 14 years before it, and I had no trouble following the points made (a few checks with Wikipedia helped). Since both books are set in the 1750s, this is historical fiction. It struck me as very funny to read a book written 180 years ago that is itself supposed to be about things that happened 80 years before that.

The book is an utter potboiler, complete with a lovely, bland young heroine (Mabel), two amazingly capable strong heroes (Pathfinder [Natty Bumppo using a different name] and Jasper Western aka Eau-douce), an old fart who provides comic relief and causes problems (Cap aka Salt-water), and an evil traitor (won't mention his name, it's a plot-spoiler). There are also three Native American main characters: the Serpent/Chingachgook (a good guy, Pathfinder's best friend), Arrowhead (turns out to be a bad guy), and Dew-of-June, who is a more complex character, perhaps the only one in the book. Exciting adventures occur, there's lots of suspense, and it all turns out pretty well in the end -- though of course not perfectly, since the two heroes compete for Mabel's hand and only one can win it.

Pathfinder doesn't really fit with my overall theme of the Civil War. It is not about slavery or Black people. But it does have quite a bit about Native Americans vs. the invading white people, and their views on each other -- which I think is not irrelevant. In this extremely talky book, there is a great deal of talk about the races and whether or not they can or should "mix." Even the French are referred to as very different from those of English/Scottish descent, almost like a different race. This may be a sort of joke, because at one point Cooper notes that later on the French helped the colonists against the British, but that in 1759 it was impossible to imagine that happening.

The character Pathfinder is not a fan of mixing, but he believes all types of people are equal:

"...each color has its gifts, and its laws, and its traditions; and one is not to condemn another because he does not exactly comprehend it." 

Dew-of-June intentionally saves Mabel's life, but she also expresses her hatred for (male) whites:

"Yengeese (Yankees) too greedy--take away all hunting-grounds--chase Six Nation from morning to night; wicked king--wicked people. Pale-face very bad." 

And Mabel's thoughts in reaction to June's comment are surprisingly modern:

Mabel knew that, even in that distant day, there was much truth in this opinion...

The basic viewpoint expressed in the book (by various characters, so we can assume it's the author's view too) seems to be that "the races" are markedly different but nonetheless equal, while many white Americans in the 1840s, even if they opposed slavery, viewed Black people as subhuman, and Indians too. So one might even describe the book as progressive. Somewhat progressive.

Maybe it's crazy to think I can understand a book written 180 years ago without more background. I'm probably missing a lot. But it was a fun read, not sorry I chose it.

UPDATE: Reading Post: 2020 Classics Challenge WRAP-UP

Rather than write a new post, I'm going to use my original post as my wrap-up post as well. 

I read books in all 12 categories, so I believe I have earned three entries in the drawing.

And here are the books I read. I did not read them in the order you presented the categories, I read them in (almost) chronological order. If it is too confusing to have them in that order, I can rearrange the list. But this list makes the most sense to me.

This was a pretty amazing reading experience. Thank you for hosting/organizing/running the Classics Challenge 2020, Karen.

9. Classic with Nature in the Title: The Pathfinder, or, The Inland Sea by James Fenimore Cooper, 1840.
4. Classic in Translation: Georges by Alexandre Dumas, 1843.
1. 19th Century Classic: Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe, 1852.
7. Classic with a Person's Name in the Title: Clotel, or, The President's Daughter: A Narrative of Slave Life in the United States by William Wells Brown, 1853.
5. Classic by a Person of Color: Our Nig: Sketches from the Life of a Free Black by Harriet E. Wilson, 1859.
12. Classic Adaptation (adapted as a movie): Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, 1868.
10. Classic About a Family: Iola Leroy by Frances E. W. Harper, 1892.
8. Classic with a Place in the Title: Home to Harlem by Claude McKay, 1928.
6. A Genre Classic: The Conjure-Man Dies by Rudolph Fisher, 1932.
3. Classic by a Woman Author: Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, 1937.
11. Abandoned Classic: Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner, 1936.
2. 20th Century Classic: Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison, 1952.

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ORIGINAL POST:

Since I don't think anybody reads my blog to find out about what I read, I'm going to try to remember to title posts about reading as "Reading Posts." OK? And then you all can just ignore them.

OK, so as I've mentioned before, I've decided to do the Back to the Classics Challenge 2020 officially (after doing the 2019 version unofficially and enjoying it very much), which means I need an introductory post. And this is it. Here are my current plans for the challenge (some of these choices may change). The only rule here is that the books have to be at least 50 years old -- otherwise I get to decide what "classic" means to me.

1. 19th Century Classic: Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe, 1852.
2. 20th Century Classic: Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison, 1952.
3. Classic by a Woman Author: Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, 1937.
4. Classic in Translation: Georges by Alexandre Dumas, 1843.
5. Classic by a Person of Color: Our Nig: Sketches from the Life of a Free Black by Harriet E. Wilson, 1859.
6. A Genre Classic: The Conjure-Man Dies by Rudolph Fisher, 1932 (mystery: this is a change from my original plan).
7. Classic with a Person's Name in the Title: Clotel, or, The President's Daughter: A Narrative of Slave Life in the United States by William Wells Brown, 1853.
8. Classic with a Place in the Title: Home to Harlem by Claude McKay, 1928.
9. Classic with Nature in the Title: The Pathfinder, or, The Inland Sea by James Fenimore Cooper, 1840 (had a hard time coming up with something for this category -- in retrospect I should have chosen Cane by Jean Toomer or Plum Bun by Jessie Redmon Fauset, but I didn't know about them yet when I was planning this).
10. Classic About a Family: Iola Leroy by Frances E. W. Harper, 1892.
11. Abandoned Classic (give it another try): Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner, 1936.
12. Classic Adaptation (adapted as a movie): Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, 1868 (yes, I've read it, but not since I was a kid -- very interested to revisit it and watch the new movie).

That's the official list, but I plan to read them in the order they were written. So the list I'm really working with looks like this:

1800s
The Pathfinder, or, The Inland Sea by James Fenimore Cooper, 1840.
Georges by Alexandre Dumas, 1843. 
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe, 1852.
Clotel, or, The President's Daughter: A Narrative of Slave Life in the United States by William Wells Brown, 1853.
Our Nig: Sketches from the Life of a Free Black by Harriet E. Wilson, 1859.
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, 1868.
Iola Leroy by Frances E. W. Harper, 1892.

1900s 

Home to Harlem by Claude McKay, 1928.

The Conjure-Man Dies by Rudolph Fisher, 1932.

Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner, 1936.

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, 1937.

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison, 1952.

My theme is the American Civil War and its aftermath, so we have some pre-war books (Lincoln said he thought Uncle Tom's Cabin actually CAUSED the Civil War), and then post-war books that are either about the Civil War, about its effects, and/or written by African-Americans. Seven of my authors are African-American, plus Dumas who was part Afro-Caribbean. Also, without making any special effort, I've ended up with five female authors, which pleases me. If anyone has any suggestions for what I might read instead, please let me know. I've already read both Gone with the Wind and The Red Badge of Courage, which would otherwise be on the list.

And while I'm reading these I'm also going to try to read biographies of Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, and Ulysses S. Grant. Of course, this is in addition to all the stuff I choose to read for fun throughout the year, plus whatever my book group decides to read. It's always nice to make some ambitious plans during the cold winter months. 😉

I feel as though I have created the reading list for a course! My own personal course on the literature of the Civil War and its aftermath. I have a feeling it's going to be a good background for the tumultuous year ahead (politically speaking). As the inscription on the western face of CU's Norlin Library says, "Who knows only his own generation remains always a child." I feel strongly that you can't understand the U.S. today without understanding the Civil War and what led to it and what came from it. I hope that by reading these books (and perhaps others), I will understand it better.

Imbolc, Candlemas, Groundhog Day

The winter months can be challenging in a cold climate, but it's now two down (December, January) and one to go (February), and I'm feeling like we're going to make it. (March is still a pretty wintery month, but we won't think about that. Nor about the likelihood of snow in April. And then there's snow in May. But it's SPRING snow, which is different.) Now that it's February we're about to get our first measurable snow since December. Monday it's supposed to hit, up to 10 inches. I'll have to stop wearing my MBT sandals. I took a walk down by the creek today, just to get in one more before I can't for a while.

Today was Imbolc, Candlemas, Groundhog Day. We celebrated tonight by lighting candles at the dinner table and eating pancakes (round, grain-based). I just realized I don't know whether the groundhog saw his shadow officially -- but he certainly would have seen it if he'd been in Boulder, it having been 73 degrees and sunny, so that's six more weeks of winter for us. Starting tomorrow! It's been so incredibly dry that I'm actually fine with more snow. I think. Just wish I had a better pair of winter boots. But seriously, look at this lawn, the last of the Thanksgiving snow dump finally gone. And think of the poor thirsty trees. We need some moisture.

Because of the coming storm, we needed to cover the broken skylight with a tarp, so snow won't get all over the patio -- it will anyway, because it will blow onto it, but at least a tarp will prevent the snow from falling right down onto everything. I also needed to measure the broken skylight, in preparation for buying a replacement (which Rocket Boy is going to do when he comes to visit in two weeks, I've decided). What all this meant, of course, is that the kids needed to do these things, because I am too fat to climb onto the patio roof (I can go up this high on the ladder, but that's it). Kid B is quite sick with a cold, so while he ate a late breakfast, Kid A climbed up on the roof. First he measured the skylight (34" x 58") and then he spread the tarp over it. Finally he placed four bricks at the corners -- and then straightened it all out as I nagged him. "OCD, Mom," he snarked, but he did as I asked. I am unfortunately quite familiar with tarps on roofs -- in fact, I think this particular tarp is the very one we used to have on the main roof, before we could afford to have the roof replaced five years ago.

I paid Kid A $2 for this job -- it seemed above and beyond normal household chores (not that he does many of those). He's currently not getting an allowance because he owes Kid B $12, so I'm giving Kid B both allowances until the debt is paid off. I gave Kid A the choice of $2 or putting the money toward his debt and he chose the money. Of course. And then he jumped on his bike and rode off to the library to play video games in the teen lounge.

In last week's blog I said something about how the lack of disasters that week had left me with a surplus of serenity for this week. Something like that. It turned out that it (the serenity) wasn't enough, and I struggled with depression. But I'm OK. A few dicey days there, but I'm still chugging along.

When I get depressed, I tell myself, fiercely, "Don't do this! You have to keep going! You're the only parent the twins have in the state of Colorado! You're responsible for everything! You're going to ruin their lives if you act depressed! Get your act together!" etc., etc.

As you can imagine, this approach has its pros and cons. Sometimes I do get my act together, because I realize that I need to. Other times I get more depressed, because yelling at myself makes me feel even more inadequate than I already did when I started to get depressed.

A somewhat more successful approach is to be kind to myself, reframe the situation, maybe go for some humor. Also some love -- pick up a cat and say, "Oh, so fluffy!" or run a hand through a twin's crewcut and say, "Oh, so fuzzy!"

Yesterday I needed to go to the Costco pharmacy because Pie Bear was almost out of insulin. In addition to being almost out of insulin, Pie Bear is almost out of life, being 14 going on 15, diabetic for many years, and with a horrible tumor in his mouth. I talked to the front office staff at the veterinary clinic about this recently, asked how to set up a euthanasia appointment and all that. They explained it clearly and I called Rocket Boy and told him about it. "Oh," he said, sounding sad. I asked him if he wanted to get Pie's ashes back (it's $150; group cremation with no ashes back is $50). "I would like them," he said, almost apologetically. "I know," I said. "Me too. It's fine, we'll get the ashes back. But don't worry, I'm not going to have him put to sleep right away or anything." Secretly I plotted and planned to have Pie put to sleep before Rocket Boy's next visit, which is in two weeks.

But Pie was almost out of insulin (one tiny bottle lasts him about 8 months). Should I have him put to sleep when the insulin runs out? Should I stop giving him insulin when the insulin runs out, wait until he goes into a diabetic crisis, and then have him put to sleep? Or should I maybe, just maybe, get more insulin? Insulin is really expensive.

Of course, I got more insulin. Pie Bear is a funny old cat, nearing the end of his life, but he's not quite there yet. He's still eating lustily, going outside on warm days (he spent hours outside today), sleeping by my feet at night. We can afford $321 to keep him going another month or two or three, or whatever turns out to be the right number.

I had thought I would get food at Costco, but I just wasn't in the mood for the enormous packages of things. I would look at something, imagine myself eating it, feel sick, and turn away. I couldn't convince myself that the twins would eat some or that I didn't have to eat it all at once.

Finally I left with just the insulin and went back to Boulder, to our local King Soopers grocery store where I could buy a single onion, among other things. While studying the sweet potatoes I heard someone say hello to me. It was the father of a girl from the kids' elementary school, someone I like a lot (both the man and his daughter, actually, and I also like the mom). I hadn't seen him since graduation, last May. We talked, and he was eager to tell me how well his daughter is doing (she goes to a charter school which is very focused on homework and grades). She's a smart, competitive person and it sounded like she's hitting middle school out of the park (sorry if that's a weird image). Someday she's going to set the world on fire (in a good way, I mean). I thought of my boys and their poor first-semester grades, their current lack of interest in anything other than stupid video games, and their amazing ability to fit the f-word into almost every sentence. And of course that led me to think about what a bad mother I am.

My boys were actually in daycare with this man's daughter, when they were babies. Then we left and moved to Ridgecrest, but she stayed in the daycare until she started kindergarten. Her dad mentioned that practically everyone who had been in her daycare is also in the charter middle school. Except my boys, I thought to myself. My low-achieving boys, who are that way because of their Bad Mom.

I said goodbye to the proud dad and continued through the store, selecting ONE can of diced tomatoes, and ONE tiny package of couscous. I had noticed at Costco a box with 36 cans of Pringles potato chips in it -- how Kid A would have loved that. Instead, I bought him ONE bag of tortilla chips and a SMALL jar of salsa. Bad mom, I thought, should be at home making my own tortilla chips and my own salsa out of fresh vegetables, also should not be buying CANNED diced tomatoes. Should can my OWN tomatoes, after dicing them myself, bad mom. Bad mom. I was starting to feel really low.

And then suddenly a thought popped into my head. What about love? I thought of the staff at the veterinary clinic, who are so nice to all the animals (and their guardians). And I thought about Pie Bear, and about how I'd just spent $321 on insulin for him. A high-achieving person would undoubtedly have put Pie Bear to sleep a long time ago. A high-achieving person would have a designer cat, carefully selected to be the perfect size and shape and personality for boasting to acquaintances about in the grocery store.

I'm not a bad mom, I thought. I'm someone who spends $321 on insulin for a silly old cat. And I'm married to someone who wants to pay $100 to be able to get that cat's ashes, just because he loves that silly old cat. And we have two goofy kids who I hope we somehow manage to raise. I smiled a lot. And life felt better.

A week when nothing bad happened (to me)

I feel like I'm tempting fate with that post title, but it's really been a pretty calm week, no disasters. I might even call it a pleasant week. Of course, that's totally ignoring the impeachment trial in Washington, which has really depressed me. I've tried to watch some of it, but overall it just makes me ill. The fact that the Dems felt they had to make their case over and over, the fact that the Repubs are just ignoring it all -- how did we get to this state? And who are the millions and millions of people who voted for that creep in the White House, and why do they continue to support him? Is it all due to the distortions of Fox News?

On a not entirely unrelated subject, I've chosen my books for the Classics Challenge and many of them have something to do with the Civil War and its aftermath, since I'm also going to be reading presidential biographies of Lincoln and probably Johnson and Grant this year. I'm somewhat daunted by the list of books I'm planning to read -- I think so many of them will be really depressing. But I also feel as though I need to have a better understanding of the Civil War, since it -- and slavery -- had and continue to have such an enormous effect on our country. So I am going to do my best to plow through all these unhappy volumes. Meanwhile, to kick off the biographies, I'm trying to read volume one of Michael Burlingame's MASSIVE bio of Abraham Lincoln and I'm actually having a lot of trouble, partly because it's a catalogue of every single thing Lincoln ever did, but mainly because the book is too big for me to read in bed. My arms aren't strong enough to hold it up, and it hurts my stomach. So I have to read it at the kitchen counter, and that's not a place where I normally read anything except the newspaper. This is why I'm only on page 86 out of 759 pages of text (and they're very long pages, since the book is so large). The book should have been due this Wednesday, but I got an email from the library today saying it had been automatically renewed. So I have three more weeks to read 674 more pages.

The book is impossible, and yet Lincoln comes across as such a wonderful person. And he's only 25 (so far). The contrast with the current incumbent COULD NOT be greater.

On a somewhat lighter note, another plan I have this year is to read a lot of Ursula K. Le Guin. I think I've only read The Left Hand of Darkness, her most popular novel, and Lavinia, her last novel. I've decided to start by reading the rest of her Hainish Cycle novels and stories, and just picked up Rocannon's World from the library. Later on I might read the EarthSea books with the twins. As a break from anything remotely serious, I'm also starting to work my way through the Merrily Watkins supernatural mysteries by Phil Rickman, which are sooooo fun to read that I have to ration them. I also have to buy them (used, from stupid Amazon) because they're not available in libraries here. Too British, apparently. I think they must be popular in Canada too, because the ones I've gotten so far have Canadian price tags stuck on them. I've read the bottom two in this stack and am planning to save A Crown of Lights for after I read some serious Civil War stuff. It will be my reward.

Calm weeks provide less to blog about -- but that's OK. Not complaining, universe! My book group met -- and I wish I had a photograph of the wonderful "rotting log" (like a Bûche de Noel) our hostess made to celebrate the book we read, The Overstory. I had wondered what she would serve, because how can you serve a tree? Silly me. She also had several nut-based snacks. In retrospect, it was quite an easy book to cook for. Some of the members of the group don't try to match the food to the book, but this member excels at it. She sent me home with a box of cheddar-flavored mealworms, I passed them on to the boys, they took them to school, and a friend of theirs downed them all.

I also had coffee with a (non book group) friend at Barnes & Noble this week, and it upsets me to think about how seldom I do that anymore. I used to have coffee with friends constantly, multiple times per week! I suppose dinner with my children has replaced coffee with friends, but hmm. It seems as though I could manage to arrange this at least once a month. I might need more friends, though. Anyway, this particular friend is someone I used to work with. She's 10 years older than I am and has done a lot of interesting "good works" through the years, like foster care and helping refugees in Africa. She's also very funny. We talked nonstop for two hours and I came away from our meeting feeling energized and full of ideas.

Once a month, seriously. Totally doable. Think about it.

In between all the usual domestic tasks -- doing them and avoiding them, I should perhaps say -- I managed to complete a sewing project, which also hasn't happened in a while. I made a tablecloth! Our coffee table is a flagstone, and it's very rough and heavy. I suppose that's its charm, but charm can get tiresome. So I usually put a cloth on it, and when I was removing the red cloth I put on it for Christmas, I thought, "Couldn't I have other seasonal tablecloths?" I thought about buying them, and then I thought, "Couldn't I make a seasonal tablecloth?" So I paid a visit to JoAnn's Fabrics and found this nice cloth, on sale because it's a Christmas pattern -- but it really isn't, it's just evergreen trees and cones. I washed it, ironed it, and then pressed under a half-inch hem all around, and then pressed that under another half-inch, and then I sewed the hem down, and voila -- a tablecloth. I did manage to screw up the corners, because I was trying to make lovely mitred corners, but I didn't read the directions closely... but it doesn't matter, because nobody's ever going to look at the corners anyway. I'm looking forward to making a springtime tablecloth in a few months.

Also this week I took three walks in the neighborhood. One of my New Year's resolutions was to get back into walking, but unfortunately, I currently have really painful plantar fasciitis in my right foot, agonizingly painful even if I walk around Target. But Rocket Boy found me some MBT shoes on eBay and had them sent here. They arrived Friday and my heel already feels so much better. Today's walk was completely pain-free. MBT shoes take some getting used to, but they are wonderful for plantar fasciitis. I used to have a pair, but I stopped wearing them after my feet got better, and Rocket Boy took them over and wore them out. So that's why he bought me these. I was so happy when I put them on! Now I have to wear them a lot while the weather's so mild, because this sandal style won't be great when it starts snowing again.

One other thing I did this week -- today, actually -- was get the boys' hair cut. You'd think this wouldn't be so hard for me, but it's one of Rocket Boy's jobs that I've resisted taking over. He got Kid A's hair cut on one visit, and my niece Risa got Kid B's hair cut when she visited in September. But the time had come for ME to do something about their shagginess. We planned to go to the same barber Risa went to, but for some reason they weren't open (maybe their hours have changed). So we walked across the street and looked in the window of another barbershop (an open one) and someone inside waved at me. "Let's try this one," I said, and we went in. It turned out to be a very male, very collegiate sort of place -- three tattooed older men cutting three college-aged men's hair while loud rap music played. My first impulse was to leave immediately, but instead we sat down and waited. After about 20 minutes a chair opened up and Kid A took it. His haircut turned out well (he likes his hair short), so Kid B took his place -- and the guy just butchered him. It's like a crewcut. Kid B is now deeply unhappy (won't even face the camera, poor boo), and all I can tell him is that it will grow back. So we probably won't go back to that place! But their hair is cut and I can forget about that problem for another three months or so.

And now onto another week, with some serenity saved up to deal with whatever happens next.

Another Januaryish week

It's not unusual for January in Boulder to be like this -- chilly, but not really cold (up into the 40s most days, 20s at night), and no precipitation. Snowy months come later. February could be snowy, but January is dull. Gray, brown, quiet. Everything appears to be asleep, except for the chickadees. I just saw a chickadee out my window, hopping around in the sleeping maple tree -- at least, I'm guessing that's what it was, since they're everywhere. If you have to have an everywhere bird, it's hard to beat a chickadee. They have such a cheerful song, and so much energy. Also, they're so social. I just read an online article about what a birb is, and a chickadee is clearly a birb (though apparently many people feel that all birds are birbs and a cute bird like a chickadee is really a borb -- do I have that right? maybe it was some other nonsense word).

I am not particularly cheerful right now, but I respond well to cheerful things like chickadees.

When I last blogged, I was talking about our plumbing problems. A third plumber came out last Monday, the 13th, and fixed the plumbing. I wish I had the photo he took of the thick, healthy tree roots in the sewer line. Nice to know we're feeding our trees with our sewage. I wish they didn't have to wreck the pipes to get at it, but short of digging an outhouse, I can't figure out how else to do the transfer. Anyway, while the plumber was here, he turned off the cold water to the washing machine. He also left his credit card reader on my counter, which I spotted some time after he left and thought was something the kids had brought home. He called on Wednesday, after I'd done a successful load of laundry (because I used the warm/warm setting) and we figured out that I had his reader; he came by to pick it up and thanked me profusely, telling me to call him directly when we had our next plumbing problem and he would give me a discount. Later that day I did another load of laundry (on the warm/cold setting) and the washer stopped when it hit the rinse cycle. I tried it on permanent press, delicate, regular and the same thing kept happening. And I thought, well, it can't be the nice plumber's fault, since I already did a successful wash (on warm/warm) two days ago! So I called our nice appliance repairman and on Friday he came out and -- for $70 -- turned the cold water back on. See the square behind the washer, with the red (hot) and blue (cold) taps? I had never noticed that before. Sigh. Rocket Boy thinks I should have asked the plumber to pay for the appliance repairman's visit, but it's just too complicated. Sigh.

Nothing else has broken since then, but hey, the year is young. I also have not yet dealt with the broken skylight, and I'm going to be really sorry about that when it snows again. I did, however, drag our big ladder over and climb up it to take this photo of the broken skylight from the top. But I forgot to bring a measuring tape with me -- and the twins were off at their second home, the Teen Lounge at the library, so they couldn't fetch it for me -- and even if I had brought a measuring tape with me, there was absolutely no way I was going to climb onto the roof in order to measure this thing. I left the ladder up so that the TWINS could climb up it to measure, but then I forgot about it, and then we had another windstorm and the ladder blew over (fortunately not with anyone on it). I was at a meeting at their middle school to learn about teen use of marijuana and vaping, and apparently the twins heard the crash when the ladder blew over, but did not go out to investigate, nor did they tell me about it when I got home -- I discovered it the next day. It's still lying on the ground, blocking the path. Did I mention I'm not particularly cheerful right now?

One of my New Year's plans/goals/resolutions was to take the twins on an outing at least twice a month. We went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science on January 3rd, so this weekend I decided we would go to the Denver Botanic Gardens. We went fairly early on Sunday morning to miss the crowds. The Gardens aren't crowded this time of year, of course, but they're having their yearly Orchid Show right now, so there are more people there than otherwise would be. All the usual things happened on this trip: (1) Mom forgot to review the directions before leaving and our seriously out-of-date TomTom's instructions confused me, so it took us a while to get there and involved a lot of profanity on my part; (2) Kid A wanted to leave almost as soon as we'd arrived; (3) The boys started begging for food as soon as we got there, around 10:45; (4) The kids fought like wolf pups, nearly knocking down other visitors and coming way too close to breaking some plants; (5) I finally gave in and we had lunch at 11:15; (6) We left sooner than I would have liked.

I did enjoy seeing the orchids, though. Orchids are such luscious things. I found myself wanting to take a bite out of some of them. My favorites were the pale yellow ones, followed by the pale yellow with magenta spots (some are in this picture), followed by, hmm, maybe the creamy pure white ones, followed by the frilly lavender ones, followed by... They're all lovely. I also found myself wanting to get a pale yellow dress to match my favorite orchids. This was a very nice thing to do on the day after the 12th anniversary of my mother's death, since she was fond of orchids and grew so many of them in the back yard.

Monday was Martin Luther King Day and the library was closed, so we just hung around the house all day like slugs. We watched the movie "BookSmart" which baffled the boys (I had to answer a lot of questions), but did hold their attention. Rocket Boy called a few times and the kids skyped with him too. He got both boys electronics sets for Christmas, so he started working with Kid B on his, over skype. I had to help a little, but mostly stayed out of it. It's so nice to let Rocket Boy do something with the kids that doesn't involve me -- such a very rare thing these days. In the photo you can just barely see RB's face on the iPad on the right. This was later, after he and Kid B had done the groundwork and now were trying to make the thing work, with Kid A. I don't know if it ever did work, or even what it was. Not my pigeon!

So, that was our week. I only managed to cook a real dinner once -- nacho casserole -- it fed us for a few nights and then we survived on frozen dinners and soup and whatnot. So I'll try to do better this week, but my mood is definitely not optimal. Today I have these things on my list: (1) put away the clean laundry; (2) put away the clean dishes; (3) make banana bread; (4) have coffee with a friend; (5) spend some time cleaning the living room; (6) make dinner. Oh, and (7) blog. One thing on that list is now done, and more soon will be. We're hanging in there.

A week

Well, it's been a week. A -- what would I call it? A January week, but it isn't really very January here. We've had a few days where it didn't get to 40, but most days it does, sometimes into the 50s. (Today we're at 39, but it's forecast to get a little warmer.) No snow, no ice, no veterinary bills over $1000. On the other hand, there have been the usual bothers, some less usual than others. Let's just call it a week.

It was extremely windy last weekend (80+ mph gusts), and on Saturday night, after I said goodnight to the twins and fed the cats and was preparing to take a shower, there was a tremendous crash outside in back. I didn't want to know what it was, but knowing that I might need to do something about whatever had happened, I turned on the patio light and cautiously stepped outside. The wind was blowing like a son of a gun, and my eye was caught almost immediately by the strange dark shape hanging down onto the patio that wasn't there before. Our massive Siberian elm (a "trash tree" that tends to do poorly in windstorms), had dropped one of its branches RIGHT through one of the porch skylights. The branch had gotten stuck in the skylight, so it was just hanging there, a foot or so off the ground. Photos, taken the next day, don't show how truly creepy it looked in the dark.

I went back inside and said a lot of things to the walls and the cats, like "Oh shit, oh shit, OMG!" which woke up the twins -- or maybe the crash woke them up, but my comments encouraged them to get up and investigate. They went outside in their shortie pajamas and bare feet -- it was probably in the 30s -- and said wow, and that sort of thing, and then went back to bed. I went to bed too, because the bathroom window is too close to where the branch came down for me to want to take a shower, but I didn't sleep for hours, because the winds actually got worse. We had three or four nights in a row like that, but fortunately no other damage.

Now I have to do something about this, get the skylight replaced and all that. Of course it turns out to be an unusual skylight that Rocket Boy put in, oh, maybe 30 years ago, so how the heck am I going to figure out where to get a new one, and it's screwed into the wood with unusual screws that look like nails and you have to use a special tool to remove them and RB's not sure what the tool is or where in the garage it might be. But he wants me to get right on it! I did go up on the ladder today and look at it, but it's windy again (!!) and there's no way I can actually crawl onto the roof and measure the broken skylight, and the whole thing is so daunting that... I don't know, I don't know. I did text the guy who did a lot of yardwork for us last summer and asked him if he could replace it, but he said no, not his thing. So I'll have to contact someone else. Bleah.

The bulk of the week was calmer -- the twins went back to school on Tuesday and of course complained about that a great deal, but I'd kept them almost on schedule through the vacation, so it wasn't as difficult a transition as it might have been. I spent the whole week trying to get myself to take down the Christmas tree, and failing, but I did get all the ornaments and lights and whatnot packed up. It was just the tree that I couldn't seem to face. Taking down the tree is very complicated -- there are all sorts of pieces that need to be put away just so. The branches on each level (A, B, C, C, D, D, E1, and E2) have to be stacked together neatly and then have a wire wrapped around them, with a cardboard tag that indicates the letter (even though the letters are also marked on the branches themselves, but I knew those cardboard tags were important to Rocket Boy, so I couldn't leave them off). When I was taking the lights off the tree, I broke off several branches that the lights had apparently been stabilizing, and I was just feeling very unhappy about the tree and didn't want to work on it. OK.

On Friday afternoon the twins brought home their disgusting smelly gym suits and I set about doing a wash, so the gym suits would be clean for Monday. Toward the end of the wash cycle I heard some funny noises coming from the bathroom, but I ignored them. Foolish mom. Eventually Kid A went in to use the bathroom and discovered a surprise. "Mom! There's all this gross dirty water in the bathtub!" I sadly went in to see and found the bathtub half full of soapy water, with unidentified icky things floating in it. Also, the toilet wouldn't flush. I called Rocket Boy but he didn't answer, so I looked up the problem on the internet -- "Why is icky dirty water flowing into my bathtub?" It's a clog, the websites all told me, and you can't fix it yourself. Call a plumber. I remembered the name of the plumber RB called the last time this happened and looked them up, but Google said they were "Closing soon," i.e., at 5, and it was 4:58. So I called the plumber that we had to call after the first plumber didn't have a long enough snake to get at the problem, and they said they could send someone out the next day. At a little after 10 am Saturday, the plumber arrived, went down in the basement where the sewer pipe access is, and set to work.

I was embarrassed by how messy the house was -- funny how the house seems so much worse when you know someone's coming over -- so I decided it was finally time to tackle the tree. And while horrible noises from down in the basement rocked the house, I took the tree apart, level by level, and packed it all away in its big black garbage bag and then into its gigantic box. When the plumber left, around 1 pm, after charging me $215, the tree had vanished. I ran the dishwasher right away, and later took a shower. Around 5 pm I did a small load of laundry. Gurgle, gurgle, said the bathroom. Oh no. I couldn't look. Sure enough, the bathtub filled with dirty water once again.

This morning I called the plumber back and they're going to send someone out again on Monday (I said it wasn't an emergency). The twins and I carried all the Christmas boxes down to the basement. The only thing left (other than a million Legos all over the floor) is our circular tower creche thing, which we don't have a good box for. That's my goal this week -- find a box for it. And get the plumbing fixed for real. And figure out what to do about the broken skylight. And wait for the next disaster.

New Year's goals and plans

It's early January, so that means it's time for resolutions, as I usually call them, but which are really goals and plans -- I don't resolve to do anything, usually, not really. Looking back, last year I remember that I got very upset about making resolutions, because I felt too tired and depressed and poor to do anything. I couldn't pay off my credit card, I was terribly worried about the prospect of Rocket Boy moving to St. Louis, and everything seemed overwhelming.

I am happy -- and rather surprised -- to note that things are different this year. I still don't have a lot of energy, I'm still often depressed, and we still don't have a lot of money. And Rocket Boy is living in St. Louis! But we have more money than we did a year ago. And I'm making things work, more or less. And I seem to have a bit more hope. So, I went ahead and made 24 resolutions (plans, goals, whatever) for 2020. It's not that I think they're all going to happen, or even most of them. But I don't feel bad about making them. I'm willing to hope that this could be a good year.

A cartoon in the paper this morning noted that "VOTE" should be everyone's #1 resolution this year, but since voting for me is like breathing, it's not on my list. Here is my list:

(1) Find a job or volunteer work, something meaningful to me. It would be better for our bottom line if I found paying work, but I'm considering the possibility of volunteer work too. I think I should do something -- it's good for me to get out in the world, have some responsibility beyond the house. But what will the something be?
(2) Give writing its due in my life. I thought, when I quit my job back in September, that I would spend more time writing. Instead, I stopped altogether (except for this blog). This resolution reminds me that I love to write and writing deserves a bigger place in my life.
(3) Continue saving money, minimum $500/month, preferably $750 or more. Since Rocket Boy started working, back in May, I've managed to save just under $10,000 -- compared with $0 saved in any of the previous 10-12 years. Of course, a big chunk of that money will be used in the next few months, to pay all our property taxes and insurance. But that was the whole point of saving the money, and anyway, I'll keep on saving more.
     (3.5) Don't go into credit card debt. Just a reminder.

(4) Read at least 52 books, including the Classics Challenge. It'll probably be more.
(5) Read biographies of Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, and Grant. Rocket Boy has already bought me Team of Rivals and a Grant biography, so I think I can get through at least three presidents this year.
(6) Keep reading to the kids at night. Even if they suddenly decide they're too old for this. I don't think they will, though. It seems to be very important to them.
(7) See at least 26 movies/shows. I'm finding it fun to share favorite non-kid movies with the kids (I first wrote "adult movies" but no, I'm not sharing porn). Also, since we essentially don't have TV anymore, it's fun to catch up on some popular shows via DVDs from the library.

(8) Continue keeping the household running. Not so much a resolution as a reminder that this is a big deal, and I should be proud of myself for doing it without RB.
(9) Arrange needed repairs (e.g., replacing disintegrating bathroom tile and probably the drywall behind it, replacing or fixing kitchen floor, pruning the backyard). I don't want to do any of this. We'll take the tasks one by one (unless some other disaster occurs first).
(10) Arrange 2-3 vacations w/Rocket Boy and the kids. In 2019 we had our trips to the Four Corners area and St. Louis. In 2020 I'd like to do something for Spring Break, the summer, and maybe Fall Break again. It's made me so sad that we haven't been able to travel the last few years.
(11) Care for pets responsibly and sensibly. We had a disaster with Chester this past week -- a consult with an internal medicine specialist led to $1500 in charges, with the promise of a lot more ahead. In one day, we spent our Spring Break airfare on the cat (we're now thinking about a within-Colorado driving trip instead). I told our regular vet that I'm not doing that anymore. No more special consults, no more emergency vet charges. We'll keep the cats comfortable and that's it. Wish me luck on this one.
(12) Start getting the kids to help with chores -- meal prep, cleaning. This is probably the hardest resolution on the list. How will I do it, exactly? I'm thinking baby steps and extremely low expectations.
(13) Encourage the kids re: schoolwork and music practice. This doesn't mean hassle them endlessly, but it does mean staying on top of what they're doing and thinking of ways to help them do better. Kid A, despite the academic support he gets, is "below expectations" in everything except PE and Band. Kid B is doing better, but definitely not as well as he could be. Really have to think about this.

(14) Continue going to bed at 11, getting 7.5 hours of sleep each night. For the first time in years, I've been doing really well on this, and life is so much more pleasant after a good night's sleep. I'll try to keep it up.
(15) Continue trying to maintain my weight, or lose a little. The eternal resolution, scaled way back (ignore the pun). I've been keeping an almost-daily record of my weight for the past four and a half years, starting in May 2015.
     2015: lost 7 lbs. (from taking weight loss drugs through my doctor)
     2016: lost 3.5 lbs. (still from weight loss drugs, which I went on and off)
     2017: gained 24 lbs. (quit the weight loss drug because it raised my blood pressure and immediately gained back all I'd lost plus a lot more)
     2018: gained 6 lbs. (still part of the reaction to going off the drugs, but then I started doing a new weight-loss program and lost a little)
     2019: gained 1 lb. (spent months trying to do the weight-loss program, finally quit)
Although I would like to lose 60 lbs (ideally 100 lbs), gaining 1 lb over the course of a whole year is not bad. Some things I'm finding useful include eating a late breakfast, replacing lunch with an afternoon snack, and not eating after dinner. If I desperately want ice cream, I eat it in the afternoon, not at 9 pm. It seems helpful to compress my eating into a smaller time frame -- not quite fasting, as is currently being recommended, but a little like that. Of course, if I get a new job, I may have to eat more. It's easy to eat less if you aren't exerting yourself.
(16) Walk in nature every day (or as often as possible). This fall I just stopped walking. No more walking the kids to school, no more walking associated with work, and I don't seem to want to walk for pleasure. This is nuts! I love walking! I would really like to figure out what has gone wrong here and fix it. I still think getting a dog would help, but not while we have two such expensive cats.
(17) Lift weights twice a week. Still trying to revive this practice. Maybe this will be the year.

(18) Blog each week. I've been doing pretty well with this. Recently I realized that most of the blogs I used to read regularly have gone defunct and I miss them. I decided not to do that to my few faithful readers. Also, this is such a good way to record our family's doings.
(19) Stay in touch w/friends, reach out to people. Always hard for me. I've had two old friends reach out to me in the past month and I want to keep that going. I am not an island.
(20) Do fun stuff with the kids -- try for two special outings each month. Considering that we've done about two special things in the past 8 months, this is a big plan. On the other hand, it's not really that hard to do fun stuff with the kids. We went to the Denver Museum yesterday (see photo) and we're talking about visiting the Botanical Gardens tomorrow. If we do, I'm already good for January.
(21) Get the piano tuned. I keep wanting to play the piano and then I remember how awful it sounds, so out of tune. But for some reason the thought of calling the piano tuner produces great anxiety. Very weird. Keep trying, because playing the piano is fun.
(22) Journal regularly. I bought myself a little journal for 2020 in which to note the days' happenings. Not sure yet whether I'll use it. A resolution reminder to give it a try.
(23) Bake every week. I got into baking more this fall, and it's been fun to be able to feed the kids homemade oatmeal cookies or banana bread instead of chips and candy. I'm going to skip the recommendation to reduce our sugar intake and focus on eating fewer processed grocery-store foods.
(24) Do more sewing. Last year, sewing drawstring bags for the spaghetti dinner reminded me that sewing can be fun. Since then, however, I have only used the sewing machine for mending. This resolution is a reminder to seek out this source of pleasure.