Resolutions revisited (yes, it's January)

I don't have any fun trips or activities to report on today, except for the lovely Super Wolf Blood Moon Eclipse Saturday night (the photo shows the very beginning of it). It's just been January. During the day on Saturday Rocket Boy took the twins and Z from next door to the Botanical Gardens -- and I wanted to go, wanted to see the orchid show, but when it came right down to it, what I really wanted to do was stay in bed. I'm a good sleeper, generally, but I don't get enough sleep (stay up too late reading, mostly). Last week I had some sort of nightmare or otherwise disturbing dream almost every night, so by the weekend I was TIRED. So I got some rest while they went to the Botanical Gardens, but the disturbing dreams have continued.

Last night I dreamed I was cooking a lot of Indian food over a Coleman stove, including rice pudding. I decided to make waffles using the rice pudding as batter, so I set our old iron waffle maker on top of the Coleman stove and did so. I kept accidentally unplugging things, and once the waffles were done I unplugged something that caused a gas jet to explode. I called to Rocket Boy to help fix the disaster. "Just a minute," he said fussily, finishing his breakfast and then washing his hands. I wake up from these dreams thinking, "what was the point of THAT?" Why did I have to upset myself over something as silly as THAT? We won't even discuss my dream about trying to write my dissertation while a penguin.

So, anyway, with nothing especially fun to write about today, I thought I'd revisit my New Year's resolutions, the ones that made me so unhappy a few weeks back when I made them. I've studied them a few times since then, considered dumping them and starting over, and eventually decided to keep them but tone them down.

See, the problem I have with New Year's resolutions is that I still make them the way I used to, when we had some money and I wasn't tired and depressed all the time. I look around the house and I think, I'd like to get this room fixed up. So I make a resolution about it. And then I look at that resolution later and think, oh my god, no. And yet I still have the wish to improve our lives, to make things better. But the resolutions need to be things that (a) don't cost money and (b) don't require a lot of time and energy. Which leaves me back where I started, with nothing.

So I took another look at my resolutions.

Some of them are OK.
(1) Keep my job (or get another).  We'll focus on the non-parenthetical part of that sentence. I don't love my job, but I love my little paycheck, and I especially love my health insurance.
(3) Maintain the home front if RB has to move away for a job. I mean, what else am I going to do? Unplug something and let it explode?
(11) Read at least 78 books. So fun and so do-able. And so free (thank you, Boulder Public Library).

Some of them are too vague.
(10) Help Kid A and Kid B with their issues. Well, that's sort of the definition of being a parent, right? Maybe I should revise it to "Don't forget you have two kids."
(22) Keep in touch with friends. Keep in touch how? Send birthday cards? Go out for coffee? Or ignore this one because it's so vague and thus lose touch with more people?

Some of them are nuts.
(17) Get the trees trimmed and the volunteer elms removed. Yeah, right. Maybe someday.
(20) Set up a cleaning schedule (or get a cleaner). This is just fantasy. I'm constantly setting up cleaning schedules, none of which I adhere to, and we can't afford a cleaner. "Embrace chaos" might be a good rewrite.

But some of them might work with a little tweaking.
(5) Start saving money for taxes, emergencies. This is tricky. Last year, after two different people asked me why I couldn't set aside a LITTLE money each month to save for a vacation, I started setting aside a little money each month. And then we had a couple of bad months and I had to dip into the savings and spent it all. However, that doesn't mean I couldn't try again. So I've now rewritten this one, as follows:
(5a) Put $50/month into my savings account and try not to spend it.
(5b) Figure out how much I SHOULD be saving each month to cover property taxes and insurance -- and maybe even a vacation -- so that if our financial situation changes, I could start setting aside the correct amount.

Another problematic category is the diet & exercise one.
(7) Try to walk 5 days a week.
(8) Try to lift weights 2 times per week.
Both of these are things I used to do, effortlessly. For a variety of reasons, they are no longer effortless and they no longer happen. So what can I do about it? I decided to scale them back.
(7a) Try to walk 1 day a week
(7b) If I happen to start doing that, try to increase to 2 or more days a week.
(8a) Find my hand weights. They're around. I can see the pink 5-lb ones from here.
(8b) Try lifting them once a week
(8c) If I actually do that, try to increase to twice a week.
(7x/8x) Keep revisiting this every month. January is a pretty crappy time to start an exercise program unless it involves skiing. February's not much better. I just have to keep trying.

You get the idea. Instead of berating myself about my inability to improve my life in any way, I'm trying to figure out the least, tiniest thing I could do that I might actually DO. It's a start.