It is really and truly over

It really is! My little men, born at 39 weeks and 5 lbs 12.9 oz/19.5 inches and 5 lbs 10.3 oz/18.25 inches respectively, are not only adults, they are high school graduates. We have done it. It is over.

I never thought it would be this hard. It was so incredibly hard, I can hardly believe we did it. And I understand why so many people don't want to have kids these days (for many reasons, but one reason is that it's so hard). I think it must be more obvious how hard it is, with social media, etc. But both Rocket Boy and I wanted kids so much, I don't think it would have stopped us, even if we had known how hard it would be. 

And anyway, you never know, you never have any idea until you do it.

But we did it.

I know, it's not over. We'll be their parents as long as we live, and it'll be a long time until they're fully independent. That's OK. It'll be a long time until I'm ready to stop being so parental. I'm going to work on it this summer and of course all next year. I'm going to try to teach them things that I've neglected to teach them so far, like how to do the laundry. I'm going to try to transfer responsibilities to them (like doing their own laundry). I expect that it will be a long process. That's fine.

But this stage, this long stage of public school, is now over. No classes need to be made up. I printed out the detailed version of their "Academic Plan Progress Reports" which show exactly how they met all the complicated requirements for graduation, what grade they got each semester of each class, etc. Everything says "Complete." They had to earn 220 credits to graduate. Teen A earned 250 credits and Teen B earned 285. Their grades weren't the best, but nobody got a single F. They passed everything. We are done.

It's been a crazy week. They had one last day of classes, that was Monday, and then Tuesday and Wednesday they had final exams. I had to do a lot of driving back and forth, picking things up. On Wednesday, I had to drive Teen B to school with a MASSIVE amount of paper that he'd been saving for four years, all his old assignments, for the "Paper Drop. This is when the seniors go up to the third floor balcony and drop their papers into the courtyard below (and then the janitors sweep it all up and recycle it). 

Then I had to take our cat Sillers to the vet, because she's been peeing on our bed. While she was there, she had some sort of "episode," a seizure or a heart attack or something, and had to be put on oxygen and kept under observation for a few hours. While that was going on, I had to go back to the school and pick up Teen B's clarinet, because he had to take it home and didn't want to carry it around the rest of the day (normally I would have said no, but I was feeling generous, it being the last day of school, plus he'd already had to give up his locker). Then I had to go back and pick up the cat from the vet. 

Then I had to work on getting ready for the book group who were coming that night. Around 4pm I had to go pick up Teen B, who had stayed to watch Teen A perform in the LOYO (Living on your own) dance contest. He obligingly texted me a video of it, which I've watched dozens of times. Then there was Spring Fling, but he decided it wasn't much fun, so I picked him up. Rocket Boy came home early and did some more vacuuming. Then he decided to mop the kitchen floor, 20 minutes before the book group was going to arrive and I hadn't finished fixing the food. The book group arrived and we had a nice meeting, while Rocket Boy took Teen B to Senior Sunset (which I guess wasn't that great because it was cloudy). Life went on.

Thursday, the kids had no school, but Rocket Boy had to work, so I got up early with him. I'll probably continue to do that all summer -- it's just easier that way. And that afternoon, my little sister and her husband and bulldog arrived from California. Teen B and I went over to their hotel to greet them. Then we went home and I made dinner for us. 

Friday and Saturday they hung out here a lot. We mostly stayed outside (the weather was beautiful), because if we were inside we had to lock the cats in a bedroom, plus the bulldog would eat people's shoes. My sister had brought gift bags for both boys with cards & checks from her and our other sister, and these wonderful graduation leis that her coworker had made for the boys.

We ate out at the Hungry Toad on Friday (plus Sweet Cow for ice cream) and Chautauqua on Saturday (that dinner included Teen A's girlfriend, which was fun). 

Friday the kids did have to go to school, for graduation rehearsal, something called the Senior Gauntlet (where they run around the outside of the school and the younger students and the teachers are all lined up, cheering them on), and cap & gown distribution. We also picked up their yard signs! I have been looking forward to getting those yard signs since I first noticed them in people's yards in 2014! So exciting to be able to put them up in our yard. I've been going around the neighborhood looking for other people's yard signs. It's so fun.

But a terrible thing happened on Friday too. Earlier in the week, our finches' eggs hatched, and we had been watching them feed three or four babies. So adorable! But on Friday a blue jay (perhaps with babies of its own to feed) attacked the nest and ate all the babies. I only saw it get the last one. I screamed and ran outside and clapped my hands, but I was too late. The nest was empty.

This was heartbreaking, even though I've been criticizing the finches ever since they built this terrible nest. At the same time, I've been kind of identifying with them. They were trying to raise their babies, just as Rocket Boy and I have been. Now ours have graduated -- and theirs were eaten by a blue jay!

We wonder if they'll try again with that nest. I hope not. I want to tear it down, but I guess we have to wait and see what happens.

On Saturday, after another visit from Nancy and Rick and the bulldog, Teen B and I went to Target so I could buy a "clear bag" because the CU events center only allows clear bags. I got a nice little purse which I can use for other events like this, only $15. 

Today, finally, was the graduation. Rocket Boy and I got up at 6:30 and I got the twins up at 7 am. I ate a yogurt and took a pain pill. I should probably mention that my knee has been hurting more and more and more. Walking hurts. Sitting down hurts. Moving between a sitting and a standing position hurts. Everything hurts. I'm getting used to having pain all the time, I guess, but I'm also horrified by it. How long will this last? Is this my new normal? Anyway.

Teen A's girlfriend arrived at about 7:30 and he drove her in his car to CU. Teen B and Rocket Boy left in our car at 7:40. We got to the events center at about 7:45 (it is really close and there was no traffic), dropped off Teen B with his clarinet, and drove on to my sister's hotel. I had told her we would be there a little after 8, but we got there by about 7:47 or something ridiculous like that. I texted her and she came right down. We were back at CU and parked before 8 am. Then we had to climb up a million steps to get into the events center, and, once we'd gone through screening, had to climb down a million more steps to get to where we decided to sit. It was chilly outside and terribly hot inside (no air conditioning). Then we sat and waited for an hour. Fortunately, the combined band & orchestra played for us from about 8:30 on. They played "Phantom of the Opera" multiple times, and some other things. I explained to Rocket Boy and Nancy and Miss Trish (Teen B's old Kids Hope partner) that they only knew a few things together -- most of the time the band and orchestra play different pieces, they don't usually play together.

Promptly at 9 (I think) the graduation started. First everybody marched in, then they played the "Star Spangled Banner," then the choir sang, then there were the interminable speeches, and then the 503 members of the class of 2026 went up to get their diplomas. It took absolutely forever. At first I clapped for each student, but as it went on and on, and we were only in the B's, I thought, I need to save my strength. So then I only clapped for names I recognized -- people they went to elementary school with, people in band and orchestra and choir and theater. It went on and on and on.

Finally it ended. We climbed up the stairs again, and then down the outside stairs, and started looking for the kids. It took forever to find Teen B. We took some pictures. It was starting to rain, so we agreed to meet at the Southside Walnut Cafe for lunch. We took my sister back to her hotel (she and her husband would come in their car, with the dog). Miss Trish went ahead. Teen A went ahead. We finally got there too. We waited in the light rain for a table for seven. They finally gave us two tables close together, which was fine. I had a latte and a waffle. It was delicious, but I was fading. As we sat there, it began to pour.

We ran for our cars, headed home. My sister and her husband went back to their hotel room so she could have a nap. Rocket Boy took one too. Teen A went off to find his girlfriend (and unbeknownst to us, attend the other high school's graduation which started at 2 pm). Meanwhile, at home, Teen B and I watched the other high school's graduation on YouTube (I also took another pain pill). Then we started to watch the replay of his graduation, to see things we'd missed. Around 4:30 or so, my sister and her husband and the bulldog came over again and we stood around in the front yard (it had stopped raining by then) and looked at birds. Four western tanagers were flying around the yard across the street! I never see them here. Maybe were migrating through. 

After they left, Teen B and I went to Starbucks, even though it was 5:30 or so. Can't miss that Sunday tradition, right? And an hour later we met up with my sister and her husband for dinner at BJ's. I was not hungry at all, but I had a bowl of soup. Afterwards we hugged goodbye. It was so wonderful that she was able to come out for the graduation. I will never forget how wonderful that was.

I think I'm forgetting a lot of things, but I will stop here because it's 10 pm and I know Rocket Boy wants to go to bed. He has to get up and go to work tomorrow morning! And Nancy and Rick and the bulldog have to get on the road for home. It's supposed to snow on I-80. Well, sure, it's only the middle of May. (We're only supposed to get rain, but it could snow a little tomorrow night.) 

I still can't believe it's over. What comes next? For the boys, it's the rest of their lives, all the exciting parts. For me, and for Rocket Boy, it's a gradual downward slope, but I hope it's a pleasant slide. We shall see.