The memorial month of May

I missed writing a post last Sunday because I was in Nebraska. I could have done it on my phone, as I did the week before, but I just wasn't into it. So this post will cover the last two weeks.

Things have been pretty crazy, as they always are in May. Finals coming up, final projects coming due, final concerts being performed. I had to miss the choir concert (which is actually my favorite) because my book group came that night (I made these lovely mini pavlovas for it). I also missed the other high school's choir concert, because it was the night after I got back from my trip and I really needed to work with Teen B on his project for Health that was due Friday. We bashed out a really lame project -- and he got 100%. Score!

Regarding his more serious classes, we finished a draft of his paper for German before I left, and he tinkered with it and eventually turned it in. I think he'll get a decent grade on it. It was the world's weirdest paper. In class, they watched the movie "Groundhog Day" dubbed into German, and then had to write a 5-paragraph essay, in German, about how "Groundhog Day" is a modern fairy tale. I had never seen the movie, in any language, and my German is terribly rusty. But we made it work.

Now we're struggling with his final project for Language Arts. This is even harder than trying to help someone write a paper in German about a movie you've never seen. It is about the book The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien, which they have been reading in class. I also read it with Teen A earlier this year. The project we chose, because it sounded easier than the other options, was to compare the "burdens," both physical and emotional, of three different characters in the book. He is supposed to read several articles for background. The links to all the papers that the teacher wants him to read are broken and there is not enough information for us to find the articles ourselves. We wrote as much as we could. Maybe the teacher will tell him where to find the papers tomorrow and we can fix it up tomorrow night. Nightmare.

Tomorrow is the first day of finals, Language Arts and Chemistry for Teen B, but since he took his chemistry final last week, it'll just mean finishing this horrible writing project. For Teen A it will be Math, which he says he is ready for. Tuesday is Band and German for Teen B, but the band final consisted of playing at graduation, which was today, so it'll just be German. Teen A will have Language Arts, and again, he says he doesn't need anyone's help to study. Wednesday is US History for both kids and I guess Health for Teen B. Thursday is Math for Teen B and nothing for Teen A. 

And then we'll be done and summer will start. Horrors. Almost three months of telling the twins to stop playing video games.

I should write something about my trip to Nebraska. I'm so glad I went. I left on Sunday morning, Mothers Day, about 9:30 am. I wanted to leave by 9, but of course was kind of pokey, so 9:30 it was (still VERY early for a member of this family). I filled up at the station near our house and then got on the road. I made it all the way to Julesburg, about 196 miles from here and right near the Nebraska border. I used the restroom at the welcome center and got gas and some snacks at a station nearby (a Starbucks vanilla latte, a raspberry iced tea, and a bag of Sun Chips), and kept on going. 223 miles later I was at my hotel in Grand Island (I did take one other bathroom break, at the Kearney rest stop). Even losing an hour, the trip was so quick and easy. I was there before 5 pm and not really all that tired.

I knew I should eat some dinner, and I drove over to a "family restaurant" that the hotel desk clerk recommended, but I just didn't want to go in. And then I thought -- I'm on my own -- I don't have to! I had driven by a Walmart on my way into town. I could go to Walmart, get some snacks, and eat them in my room. So that's what I did. I got some Greek yogurt, a package of peanut butter crackers, a bottle of Fairlife milk (high protein), and some M&Ms for dessert. And had a lovely dinner. I had brought about $160 in cash with me, so the only things I charged on this trip were my hotel room and the gas. Everything else -- which wasn't much, some snacks and my trip to Walmart -- I paid for with cash. I still have $120 left, so I'll bring that along on my Michigan trip.

After I ate, I watched a favorite program ("Finding Your Roots" on PBS) and then I went down to the pool and swam for 45 minutes (back and forth between pool and hot tub). No one else was there. Pure bliss. And then I went back up and took a shower -- no need to wait for three other people to take their showers first -- and then went to bed. With no cats, no kids, no husband. It was so wonderful.

Monday morning I got up at 8 and went down to breakfast. I was the only person in the breakfast room. Either most people had eaten earlier or the hotel was pretty empty. Surprisingly, the TV was showing "Good Morning America" rather than horrid Fox News. It was my first intimation that things are changing in Nebraska. I had a rather large breakfast, for me -- cereal, but also some scrambled eggs and a biscuit and two cups of coffee. Then I was afraid I wouldn't have an appetite for lunch, so I stayed away from my leftover M&Ms. I watched some more TV, read a little, and waited until it was time to go to the lunch.

I had driven by the Texas T-bone restaurant the night before, so I knew just where to go. I left the hotel at 11:05 and walked into the restaurant right on time at 11:15 am. I looked around the big room, saw a group of people but no one familiar, and then a woman with grey-blonde hair detached herself and said my name. So this was Ellen. She looked nothing like I remembered from 36 years ago, but that's not surprising. "And here's Mona," she said, turning to the woman she had been speaking to. A familiar face! It had only been 3 years since I'd seen Mona, so although she looked different too, I could still recognize her. "You come sit with us," Mona said, and she looked after me the rest of the day, which I greatly appreciated. Her older sister arrived soon after and sat with us, and I liked her very much too. 

When Ellen invited me to join the group for lunch, I had imagined there might be 20 people there in all. In fact, it was more like 40 people. I had forgotten about the other side of the family! Virginia had four siblings, and most had kids, who had kids, etc. So the other 20 people were from that group. And if I had thought about that, I could have done some genealogical research and even made a tree showing them. Instead, I forgot to bring the tree I did make, that showed our family. I left it in the hotel room. Oh well. I could have drawn a new one -- I had been working on our tree for so many hours that I had all its members memorized -- but no one asked me. I probably should have drawn one anyway, because no one could keep me straight. Mona just started looking at me when she introduced me to people. She'd say, "This is (Flicker), she's..." and I'd jump in with "Kent's second cousin." I think most people don't really know what a second cousin is, but if they looked truly baffled I'd add, "My father and Kent's father were cousins," and that seemed to help. 

I had vowed not to mention anything about Trump, etc., on this trip, because Nebraska is a conservative state and I *think* my relatives may be Republicans. Or some of them, anyway. But the conversation kept going in unexpected directions. For instance, people kept bringing up climate change. I mean, a lot of these people are farmers, and obviously farmers are concerned about climate. And when I mentioned that we had gone to two National Parks on our spring break trip this year, Mona and her sister immediately asked me if we had observed any cuts to the staff. So I told them about it: how special tours at Carlsbad Caverns had been cancelled and how we talked to a ranger at Big Bend about it. On my drive the day before I had seen this billboard (this isn't my photo, obviously, since I was going 80 mph when I saw it). I didn't mention the billboard to my relatives, but perhaps I should have.

I had studied the restaurant's menu online before I came, but still wasn't sure what to order. I had taken my last Mounjaro shot almost a week before, but I still felt a little queasy. Obviously all the steaks and hamburgers were out. All the sandwiches contained barbecue sauce. I decided on honey-lemon grilled shrimp, and for my two sides I had grilled vegetables and steamed vegetables. Mona and her sister gave me the side-eye and said something about "aren't we healthy" but I just shrugged. I could have explained about the drug and how these were the only things on the menu that I thought I wouldn't throw up, but it wasn't worth it. 

Mona and her sister and I discussed how we always end up wearing our food. I was particularly nervous about spillage because my lovely lavender blouse and sweater would have shown every splotch. But I managed not to spill, mostly by leaning way over my plate each time I took a bite. Incidentally, I was very happy with my clothes. My sisters were worried that everyone there would be wearing black, but it was actually quite mixed. Maybe 1/3 of the people were in black, but one of Virginia's granddaughters wore a red dress, and Ellen wore a pretty multicolored outfit. I got my blouse on eBay last summer, and I'd never worn it before. It was actually a little big, and a few times I realized that my bra was showing because the blouse had gotten pulled to the side or something. Toward the end of the day I started pulling the sweater around myself to hide whatever the blouse was in the process of revealing. But other than that, it was perfect. I wore it with black capri pants and black sandals -- I'd found the sandals in a storage bin in the living room. They were a little small last summer, but my feet have shrunk a bit since then.

It took a very long time to take everyone's drink order, distribute the drinks, take everyone's food order, distribute the food, and then eat. But we weren't expected at the cemetery until 2:30, so nobody was in a rush and the restaurant didn't seem to mind that a huge group was taking over their space for three hours on a Monday. The bill must have been something like $1000 with tax and tip. I never saw it. There were four children at our table (ages 4-9), plus a couple of young teens, but everyone was well behaved, even the four-year-old. I thought of what it would have been like to be there with my two when they were that age. For one thing, we wouldn't have spent much time in the restaurant. Rocket Boy would have been outside with them, running races in the parking lot. Ah, well.

When it was time to go, Mona suggested that the three of us ride in her sister's car, leaving my car in the restaurant lot, so we did that. Virginia isn't buried in the "old cemetery," which we drove past -- it looked lovely. She, with her husband who died in 1992, is in the "new cemetery," which is bland and soulless. No trees, just flat ground, flat gravestones. It was a hot, windy day, but fortunately there was a canopy set up in front of the grave, with chairs for old people (though mostly the kids sat there). Virginia was cremated, as was her husband before her, and an urn with her ashes sat next to a large plastic box that the urn would be placed in and then inserted into the grave. A man from the mortuary, who also seemed to have known Virginia personally, spoke a few words and read some Bible verses that someone had chosen. It was nice, although I always wonder when people say things like, "We know she's dancing with the angels right now." Virginia was a very good, very nice, very kind person, and if there are heavenly rewards for being that sort of person, then I'm sure she's receiving them. But we don't know, you know? The man also said that she was with her husband and she was bringing him up to date on everything that had happened in the 33 years since he'd been gone. It seems to me that he might already know. But what do I know.

After the graveside service we went back to the restaurant to get something that had been forgotten, and then I got back in my car and followed Mona and her sister to the reception hall, even though the reception wasn't supposed to start until 4 and it was only about 3 pm at that point. They were ready for us, fortunately, with flowers and food and beverages. The three of us found a place at a table, and after a bit more conversation it was time to watch the slideshow that Virginia's step-grandson had put together. It was a wonderful collection of photos with pretty decent music accompanying it. There was even a photo of my grandfather. After we watched it, he set it to run on a continuous loop (with the music toned down a bit) for the rest of the reception. And as time went on, a LOT of people arrived. Friends of Virginia's, friends of the family. A lot of men who looked like farmers. Some nice people sat down at our table and we chatted with them for a while. (About climate change again, among other things!) Finally, Mona's sister decided she would leave, and then I was left alone, because Mona was busy talking to all the recent arrivals. The reception still had maybe an hour and a half to run, but I was tired. So I said my goodbyes and headed back to the hotel.

I had another "girl dinner" -- maybe more emphasis on M&Ms than on yogurt, but oh well. And then I went swimming again, another 45-minute session. Right at the end, a couple joined me in the pool room, but they were just using the hot tub. I went back to my room, took another shower, went to bed early.

Tuesday morning I got up before 8, had a quick breakfast (just cereal this time, with a banana, and only one cup of coffee), and packed my suitcase. I went carefully over the room -- I'd scattered things pretty much everywhere -- and didn't forget anything. What I *did* forget, though, was to leave a tip! I always leave at least a $10 tip for the maids. I had given the breakfast person a couple of dollars, but I forgot the maids. I feel bad about that. Oh well. I watched an episode of "Pure Nebraska," which came on at 9, and then I started to watch the 9:30 episode, but I thought, you know what, I need to leave. So I picked up all my stuff, dropped off the key cards at the front desk, and loaded up my car.

The drive home was very similar to the drive there. I stopped just once, at a gas station in Ogallala where I got gas, used the restroom, and bought a Starbucks vanilla latte, an iced tea, and a Heath bar. I sat in my car and ate the heath bar and some peanut butter crackers and drank the Starbucks drink. Then I poured the last of my bottle of Fairlife milk into the Starbucks bottle and drank that. And then I got back on the road. I took the Highway 52 exit so I wouldn't have to deal with Denver traffic, and that was a pleasant choice. And I made it home by a little after 3 pm. Crazy.

I gained a few pounds on the trip, despite the swimming. All those sweet drinks, M&Ms and whatnot added up. But it's all right. Once I'm done with these trips and we settle into our summer schedule, I think the pounds will come off and maybe I'll start losing again. So, OK, time for the Mounjaro report.

• Weight the morning I took my first shot: 254.6
• Weight on Sunday, May 4th (2 weeks ago): 221.8
• Weight this morning (after 47+ weeks on Mounjaro): 222.8

It is a good thing I gave up on my plan to lose a pound a week this spring. But I still feel really good, much thinner than a year ago.

The week ahead

This coming week is a break from traveling, and then I leave again on May 28th, so in 10 days. The main thing we've got coming up this week is those final exams. I also have my parent support group and Rocket Boy has some appointments.

What I'm hoping to do this week is restart my political activity. The week before I went to Nebraska I did nothing political because I spent all my time on the Ancestry website, looking for relatives. Ancestry is so addictive, it's worse than social media. I think I could be on it several hours every day if I let myself. I figured I'd get back into political stuff when I got back from Nebraska, but I didn't. I just read articles about the terrible things that were happening and felt bad, and powerless. Just what I had been trying to deal with by doing political actions. It feels so much better to do something, no matter how small.

So this coming week I'll try to start again. Nothing big -- I don't think there are any protests scheduled. Just emails and letters and maybe a letter to the Daily Camera, since my 30 days were up last week, and maybe a phone call. We'll see. 

The other thing I'd like to do this week is yardwork. Rocket Boy has been working on the yard the last few weeks and I've just been saying, oh, thanks, honey, looks great. I want to spend the summer doing 30 minutes of yardwork five days a week like I did two years ago, so I need to get started. We have junipers RIGHT next to the house that need to go. Huge fire hazard. So that can be my focus, while Rocket Boy works on digging up weeds and reseeding the lawn.

I also want to cook this week -- last week was iffy. I did make Brenda's tofu on Wednesday and a quiche on Thursday and corn fritters on Friday, but I kicked and screamed about it.  

And of course what I really want to do is more genealogy. But maybe I can limit myself to an hour a day or something like that.

Whatever happens, it will be an OK week.