Bloody Valentine's Day

OK, not really bloody. But kind of! It's a bloodbath right now, with the firings. For those who don't already know, Rocket Boy was fired on Wednesday, part of Elon Musk's attack on the federal government. Since RB was a contractor, not a civil servant, we assumed that he would be one of the first to go (even put a note about that in our Christmas letter), and sure enough, he was. He got a phone call from his supervisor at the contracting company. She told him that a lot of their other employees were also being let go. He had her on speakerphone, so I could hear her voice. She sounded really depressed. I imagine her job is next.

He went into the office late Friday afternoon to return his laptop and PIV card. He said he stopped by the office of someone he'd been working with, but it was empty, looked cleaned out. So she'd probably been fired too (she was a civil servant, but possibly probationary). He eventually found the manager and gave her the laptop. He described her tone as "dishrag like," which I assume means depressed.

On his way home from Golden he got a pizza, so that was our Valentine's Day dinner (we had been planning to have leftovers). He and I had cards for each other, and my older sister sent See's chocolate hearts. Then we watched the first half of "The Great Gatsby" (the Robert Redford-Mia Farrow version). I didn't like it, even though it follows the book closely. I thought both of the leads were miscast, no chemistry. I did like Sam Waterston as Nick, very much.

Anyway.

Where do we go from here? Rocket Boy doesn't think he can get another job, although he's going to apply for unemployment, and that will require applying for lots of jobs. The thing is, there will be lots of recently-fired scientists in the area applying for those same jobs, so he won't get them. I could look for a job, but at this point, who on earth would hire me?

We're prepared for this. First we'll see about the unemployment, and then if he gets it (not sure he worked long enough to qualify), when that runs out, we'll have to decide which of our other sources of income to tap. We both have retirement accounts, and then I could also apply for social security, though I was hoping to wait until at least age 67.

I think we need to see a financial advisor. We were planning to do that, and then we let it drop. That could be one of my tasks this week, trying to find one.

I'm a little sad about that money going away. For a few months there, we were riding high. I had a lot of ideas percolating about how to spend the money. For instance, we REALLY need a new mattress. Maybe a swamp cooler, for these hotter and hotter summers. Maybe it's time to plan a trip to Germany. You know, stuff like that. Probably not now.

It's good for me to have tasks. This week has been rough. Thursday I mostly lay around being depressed. Friday the anger kicked in, and I got a lot done: washed the towels, did all the hand-washing from the night before and also ran the dishwasher, cleaned the litter boxes, put out the trash and compost for pickup, did a stretch video with weights, paid bills, vacuumed the entire house, put away the laundry, took a 30-minute walk, put away the clean dishes, and then read for a while, ate pizza, and all that.

Whenever I feel like crying, I try to think of something else to do. Because I need to keep going. I feel as though if I fall apart, the rest of the country will fall apart too. If I keep going, maybe they'll keep going too, trying to find a way to attack Trump and the MAGAts. Of course, this is not true -- I have no control over the rest of the country. But that's how it feels.

I did do one thing today: I deactivated my Airbnb account and I put as my reason something about how their co-founder has joined the sleazy and illegal DOGE with Elon Musk. Also, before deactivating the account, I changed my Airbnb password to "ElonMuskIsAPieceOfSh*t" which Teen A pointed out was entirely pointless. Also childish. I don't care. It was satisfying. The man just had his 13th child, with a fourth woman. Why are the evangelicals supporting him?

When I told my older sister that I was quitting Airbnb, she agreed and added:

And we won’t be attending or performing at the Kennedy Center no matter how much they beg.

That made me laugh. I'm not going to be performing at the Kennedy Center (soon to be renamed the Trump Center) either. So there!

It's funny... this week, I think somewhere on Reddit, someone mentioned something called the Death Clock (you can google it). You put in your date of birth, height & weight, whether you smoke or drink, some other questions, can't remember -- and it spits out the day it thinks you will die. Now this is morbid, but for a while now I've been thinking I'll probably die soon. I'll get cancer or be hit by a truck, I don't know what, but something. Whenever I get depressed, I think, well, it'll be over soon. And then the Death Clock gave me an actual date: October 14, 2050. In other words, I'm going to live to be 90, which is actually what I'd planned for a long time, before the world started to fall apart and I started planning NOT to live that long. (I've never wanted to live to 100. 90 is plenty, I've always thought.)

I know, I know, none of this is real, it's just an AI guess. But I was struck by the 90 thing, since that was always my plan in the past. It was like -- oh god, I *am* going to live to be 90, how awful. What am I going to do now? I'm going to have to live through the endless reign of Dump, followed by the endless reign of Elon Musk. How will I survive?

Maybe this is a good place for the Mounjaro report.

• Weight the morning I took my first shot: 254.6
• Weight last Sunday: 225.6
• Weight this morning (after 34+ weeks on Mounjaro): 224

I don't know where that number came from, and I don't really believe in it. I'm now down 30.6 pounds, although it was NOT a good exercise week. Except for Friday and that hike we took last Sunday, I didn't walk at all. I did one other stretch video, I think Monday, and then I shoveled snow for half an hour on Wednesday after we got the news and also yesterday. That's it. I also ate chocolate, though no bingeing, and I tried not to eat at night. Oh, and I've also been enjoying our Girl Scout cookies. So who knows. Maybe pure anger burned the weight off.

It was just a bad week, in so many ways. I was sick for the first couple of days (the Mounjaro again), and then I got angry. I got no writing done at all. Very hard to write when you're angry, I find. I did print out all my short stories and put them in a binder, so there's that. Maybe this coming week I can write -- after the kids go back to school on Wednesday. We'll see.

It was also a bad week for cooking.

• Monday we made Mexican lasagna (Rocket Boy's recipe) which was basically an enchilada casserole. It was pretty good.
• Tuesday we had leftovers because Teen B had a concert from 6 to 8.
• Wednesday I made "Vegetable Curry" from a cookbook I'm thinking of getting rid of, called Family Vegetarian Cooking. The vegetables were a bag of stir-fry veggies from Safeway and the "curry" was a jar of korma simmer sauce. It was pretty bad.
• Thursday I made "Bow Ties with Butternut Squash and Peas" from that same cookbook, except I used campanelle pasta, because that's what I had in the cupboard. It was oddly sweet, I guess from the squash, and no one liked it. There's a lot left over.
• Friday we had that veggie pizza
• Saturday we ate out at Murphy's in Louisville, in the snow (Teen A drove, very carefully). I had mustard salmon ($26), but I just drank water, which saved us $4.
  

But writing down that list reminded me of the bright spot in the week: Teen B's concert. 

This was the "Synergy" concert, where the different musical groups play together in various combinations. I particularly enjoyed "La Bamba," which was performed by two of the orchestras, four vocalists from the choirs, and something like 9 guitar players, mostly from the jazz groups I think. The final piece was "Messa da Requiem" from Verdi's Dies Irae, performed by the advanced band & orchestra and all the choirs, very dramatic.

While listening to the concert, I reminded myself again how lucky I am that one of my kids decided to stick with music! I know, after he graduates I could still go to all the high school concerts. They're open to the public. I just probably won't, you know? Well, we'll see. In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying them, and it looks like he's going to do music again next year, so I'll have one more year. 

***

So, the week ahead. This is a long weekend for the kids -- they don't go back to school until (late start) Wednesday. It's going to be cold and snowy all week -- well, not much snow, just 50% chance here and 40% chance there, probably little dustings, but the snow we got yesterday won't melt because it will be cold. It's February, what can you do? My book group meets Tuesday night and I think that's about all we've got scheduled.

Maybe I'll focus on doing better with Wordle and Connections. Actually, Wordle is OK. I lost my huge streak a month ago (I think the word was "rower"), but I'm back up to 28 now, doing fine. Connections, on the other hand, is a mess. I had a streak of 40! but now I can't solve it to save my life. Today I got exactly one category. It's the rage. Can't think straight.

I want to think about things I can actually do. Deactivating my Airbnb account was satisfying. I'm trying to think how I can divest myself from the other Tech Bros who are joining together to ruin the country. 

• Mark Zuckerberg: I don't use Facebook, Instagram, or Threads, so that's easy. Just don't start.
• Jeff Bezos: I don't subscribe to the Washington Post and I'm not going to start. Amazon is a little more difficult, because we have Amazon money saved. However, I'm going to do my best not to order anything off Amazon for the foreseeable future.
• Elon Musk: I don't have an X account, so that's easy. I might sign up for BlueSky, just because. I'm not going to buy a Tesla.
• Google: This one is harder. You'll note that I'm writing this blog on a Google account. I have my genealogy stuff in a Google doc. My nephew works for Google. But maybe there are ways to use it less.
  

Rocket Boy and I are planning to go to the 50501 Not-My-President demonstration in Denver tomorrow. We might drive to Golden and catch the light rail there. I'll see how it goes.