Stages of grief

So, we're halfway through November, less than two weeks past the dreadful election. It's interesting how everyone is now talking about what we're going to lose when Trump takes over in January, what you should do now because you won't be able to do it then. For instance,

• Get all your vaccines now, before RFK Jr. cancels them. It's not clear whether he really will do this, but I'm late with vaccines this year, and I feel a sense of urgency. Must schedule flu, Covid, and probably in December I'll finally do the shingles shot.
• If you're on a weight loss drug, as I am, try to stockpile it, because RFK Jr. plans to cancel them and give people gym memberships and coupons for organic vegetables instead.
  
• If you're in the market for an electric car, buy it now before the tax credits go away. Our neighborhood has been discussing this recently.
• If you're a woman of childbearing age, try to stockpile as much birth control as you can. Or get your tubes tied, have a hysterectomy, something like that. If you're part of a gay couple, or trans, especially if you have kids, move to a blue state. Fortunately for us, we already live in a blue state. Rocket Boy is very glad he is no longer in Missouri.
  
• Rocket Boy will probably lose his job (contractor for a scientific federal agency -- probably one of the first jobs Elon will cut), so we should either save as much as we can now or (my preference) spend happily, because it's the last time we'll be able to in our lifetimes.
• Anyone who works for the government who has been involved in investigating Trump has already been warned that they should probably leave the country.
  
• And I already mentioned that the student loan forgiveness will go away, so we'll probably have to start paying again. Interestingly, because the organizations handling this are slow, Rocket Boy is shown as still having one payment left before he's done, even though he made it in September and also made extra payments in October. The woman he talked to from the (soon to be eliminated) Dept. of Education said it will process before the end of the year. So he should be shown as having paid off his loans by December 31st -- and then Trump will take over a few weeks later and cancel everything and we'll have to go back to paying.
  

I should note, as I have before, that I think we are still in good shape. Many people in this country have a LOT more to worry about than we do. If I can't get my weight loss drug anymore, I'll just gain all the weight back plus more. It's not the end of the world. If Rocket Boy loses his job, I'll sign up for social security and we'll start taking distributions from both his and my Thrift Savings Plans. We should be OK. Although, if Trump really does get rid of the science agencies, Boulder will be strongly affected in ways I can't imagine because we have so much science here. Also, Colorado in general will be a target because Trump hates states that didn't vote for him. Hmm.

I think you would describe this as the "Bargaining" stage of grief. Like, OK, we're going to lose this and this, but we'll still be OK because of this and this.

I'm also in the "Black Humor" stage of grief, which I've been struggling to map onto the usual stages. I'm not sure it's a stage, exactly, but rather a coping strategy, but aren't all the stages coping strategies? Is the use of humor a form of "Denial"? Or a type of "Acceptance"? I found a recent article that explores the idea of "bereavement humor" and identifies it as a useful coping strategy and a sign of resilience. It's a way of reducing anxiety and distress, as well as a way to connect with others. Another article I found argued that black humor is a way to moderate stress, to take a terrible situation and look at it from a less threatening point of view. Then I read another article that said people use humor to avoid facing the dark truth about their situation.

You may argue that there's nothing funny about Trump's cabinet picks. But they're so insane that they do seem funny to me. I laugh, and then the laugh catches in my throat as I think of something awful that's going to happen as a result of them. And then I laugh again, because really, what else can you do? I cannot cry about this stuff. I refuse to cry. I need my strength. Is that denial? I don't think so.

***

I've gotten behind on New Yorkers again, after getting myself all caught up some months ago. I think it's related to having four people using our one and only bathroom. I read the New Yorker in the bathroom, and I just can't spend as much time in there reading anymore, lol.

Anyway, I'm currently reading the October 21st issue. It includes a long, depressing "reflection" from Adam Gopnik about Trump. I read it, but I didn't enjoy it. I'm like, OK, yes, you're right, he's a monster, now please go away. Then there was a lovely article about bird language which I enjoyed thoroughly. That was followed by a profile of Kamala Harris. I started reading it and had to stop. Couldn't do it. Too sad. But after that came Alexei Navalny's "Prison Diaries." Navalny was the Russian opposition leader who Putin tried to kill by poison in 2020, and then after he recovered in Germany, he returned to Russia in 2021 where he was promptly imprisoned. He died in prison, north of the Arctic Circle, in early 2024 -- probably murdered, although Putin said it was from natural causes. He was 47.

What I keep hearing is that Trump and his minions are trying to turn the USA into Russia. Of course, it's supposed to be a more successful Russia than Russia, with big business having more control than the government, but in many ways, Russia. They're trying to make people distrust the government, distrust science, distrust the law. They're planning to punish people who criticize them, gradually eliminate free and fair elections, etc. Thus, excerpts from the diaries of someone who opposed Putin and was murdered for it seem useful to read. Navalny's writing is a mix of black humor and true patriotism, standing up for what's right and true. It's really inspiring. I am going to buy the book -- maybe I'll ask for it for Christmas.

***

Since I was talking about weight loss drugs, it's probably time for the Mounjaro report.

• Weight the morning I took my first shot: 254.6
• Weight last Sunday: 229.8
• Weight this Sunday morning (after 21+ weeks on Mounjaro): 232.8
  

Yep, that's right, gained three pounds. How did that happen? Well, last Sunday night when I took my shot, I don't know how to explain it, but I somehow got the pen turned around and I injected myself in the finger that I was using to press down (I thought) on the plunger. Ouch! I don't think it all went in, and you are NOT supposed to inject yourself in the finger. So I got some of the dose, and it had some effect, but not a normal amount. I considered starting over with a new pen, but I had no way of knowing how much I'd gotten, so I finally decided to let it go and have it be a weird week. Which it was. I still had some appetite suppression, and I didn't binge at all, but I didn't feel like I usually do on this drug. For one thing, I had a lot more energy, so I exercised a lot this week. I did four stretch videos and took four walks (divided among six days). I think this is proof that exercise doesn't lead to weight loss! Compare this to two weeks ago when I lost 3.6 pounds after exercising three times.

Oh well. I'm OK with this, although I actually feel very fat, as though I had gained 10 lbs back, not 3. Tonight I am going to take my last 5 mg pen, which I was saving for an occasion like this one, because I figure my dose this past week was low, so I should titrate back up to 7.5 slowly. I'll do 5 mg this week and then go back up to 7.5 mg next Sunday and we'll keep going like that. 

It's been interesting having Rocket Boy back in many ways, including housework and cooking. I figured I would go on being the primary cook and housekeeper, since I'm not working for pay and he is. But we agreed that he would do some of the cooking, mainly early in the week when I'm (normally) not feeling well due to the shot. So this week he fixed seared salmon on Monday with rice and steamed carrots, and on Tuesday we had the leftovers. On Wednesday I made a delicious casserole from Smitten Kitchen called Mushroom Marsala Pasta Bake, with brussels sprouts on the side. On Thursday I made sweet potato quesadillas with avocado. And on Friday before the play we had the old favorite, Pizza Grilled Cheese sandwiches (made with pesto, tomato sauce, and mozzarella on Italian bread). (Last night we ate out at the Gondolier and tonight we'll probably have pancakes or waffles.)

So our veggies for the week were carrots, mushrooms, brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, onion, and avocado. All fresh, many organic, all prepared from scratch. The protein sources were salmon and various kinds of cheese.

Our special thing we did this week was attend the musical at the other high school, Friday night with Teen B. "Bye Bye Birdie" is such a dumb show, but they did it really well. Our next-door neighbor had a funny part, which he performed beautifully. But the whole cast was marvelous. Afterwards, Rocket Boy decided he wanted to see the movie, so I got it from the library yesterday and we watched it. The movie is so dumb! The play was actually much better, even though also dumb.

We were going to go to the Art Museum this weekend, but we ended up putting it off. Too much teen homework and other nonsense. We'll try to go next weekend instead. We have a lot going on this week: the band concert and the orchestra concert, my parent group meeting, Teen B's IEP meeting, and probably lots of homework, due to it being the week before Thanksgiving break. It's going to be very cold on Tuesday, with possibly a little snow, but that's looking less likely (and our last snow is JUST about gone). Just a normal average late fall week in the still-democratic, for now, USofA.