Welcome to March (Winter round 3)

OK, we made it to March! I don't like the month of March, but that's all right, we're making progress through the year. 

I don't like March because it contains (1) the twins' birthday, which I find stressful, (2) the Spring Forward time change, which everyone finds stressful, (3) my father's birthday, decline, and death, which I find sad to remember (the birthday is OK, but the rest is hard), and (4) Spring Break, which can be fun but which is also stressful (lots of planning involved, lots of money spent) and this year will probably not be very fun (back to St. Louis for Rocket Boy's surgery), though I must act like it is fun, somehow, for the twins' sake.

Also, we usually have snow in March, heavy, wet snow, and nothing is really growing yet. At least that was true in the past (climate change is messing with it a bit). I did notice when I walked around our snow-free yard this morning that the alliums are starting to poke their green spears up. I like the alliums, even though they spread all over everywhere and can be a bit of a menace. And in the backyard I saw our first blooming dandelion!

This year, Easter is also in March, the last day of the month. I have mixed feelings about Easter this year, because I agreed with the twins last year that there was no sense having an egg hunt anymore. They're too old -- it's dumb. So I think I will put out Easter treats, but no hiding and seeking. The thing is, we'll be in St. Louis until the day before Easter, so maybe we'll do some Easter stuff there. I don't know. Have to think about this.

On the plus side, it's getting lighter and lighter. On March 1st, two days ago, sunset was at 5:53 pm, and on March 31st, sunset will be at 7:25 pm (because of the horrible time change). If we didn't have the time change, sunset would be at 6:25, which is still much better than 5:53 (or 5:19 pm, which it was on February 1st, or 4:46 pm, which it was on January 1st).

I should do a February round-up, talk about what I achieved (or didn't) regarding my New Year's resolutions during the month. 

1. Read at least 52 books, i.e., 1 per week. I read 14 books in February. With the 12 books I read in January, I've already read 26 books in 2024, halfway to my goal. That goal of 52 is sort of silly, but you never know, I might have a period of time where I don't feel like reading. I don't want 100 books to be my goal, because then I won't be inclined to choose long books to read. 

2. Read biographies of at least 3 presidents. I finished the biography of Woodrow Wilson! I thought I'd never get through that thing. Now I can take a break for a month or two -- and then it will be time to face Warren G. Harding.

3. See at least 24 movies, i.e., 2 per month. I saw 3 movies, all at home, and all of them based on books I'd recently read: "Howards End," "The Fault in Our Stars," and "Waiting for the Barbarians." I'm thinking this month we might go see a movie in a theater, because the kids want to see "Dune: Part 2."

4. Go to at least 12 special things, i.e., 1 per month. I went to two concerts at the kids' high school, and enjoyed them both THOROUGHLY. I love listening to young people make music. In March, Teen B and I have tickets to the spring musical, so I'm looking forward to that too.

5. Continue blogging/write another novel. Obviously I've continued blogging, but I didn't write much else this month. I honestly didn't feel up to it. Maybe March will be better.

6. Take a walk every day and do a stretch video every morning. This was a hard one. In all of February I only took ONE walk (plus one hike, see below). But I did do lots of stretch videos -- 20 of them, all in the mornings. That really is becoming a habit, and I feel as though I'm getting stronger and more flexible (well, a little). But I need to start walking again in the afternoons. Hmm.

7. Take a hike every month. Once again I put this off until the last day, February 29th -- but on that day I went for a hike. I did the Dry Creek trail, along with a lot of dogs and their guardians. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was the only person on that trail without a dog.

I went earlier in the day than last month, intentionally, around 1:30 pm, so there were parking places available in the lot at the trailhead. It seemed like a quiet trail at first, but eventually I realized that there were a lot of people (and dogs) on the trail -- they were just widely spread out.

Dry Creek wasn't dry -- maybe it is in the summer -- but there were signs posted everywhere telling people not to go in the water and not to let their dogs go in it, and there was a lot of fencing intended to keep people & dogs out. It's the New Zealand Mudsnail that's the problem -- I guess it must be in this creek and they don't want dogs getting it on their paws and people getting it on their boots and then spreading it to other bodies of water nearby. So that was too bad. It seemed a real shame that dogs couldn't go in the creek.

Of course, other animals were probably glad that the dogs weren't in the creek, but I didn't actually see any other animals. The only birds I saw were a couple of white things on Valmont Reservoir (which the Dry Creek trail goes past for a while). I didn't have my binoculars, so couldn't identify them. No, the only wildlife was the dogs -- and I did really enjoy the dogs. I kept thinking that people were looking at me funny, like -- where's your dog? -- but I smiled at all the dogs and greeted them and petted quite a few. So that was fun.

I'm sure this is a nice trail at some time of the year, but it wasn't very nice on February 29th. It was just so dry and barren. We'd had snow two weeks before, but there was barely a trace of it, and almost no mud either. Just dry, dry, dry. It was also quite hot, in the upper 60s with full sun. I had worn a sweatshirt because I thought surely it wouldn't really be hot, surely the wind would be blowing and would make it cooler. But there was very little wind and it was hot. I could have taken my sweatshirt off, but I kept thinking, oh, then I'll have to carry it, might as well keep it on. I was sweating when I got back to the car. I was also red as a beet -- I hadn't put on sunscreen or worn a hat. Dumb.

The one other downside to the hike is that it somehow triggered an allergic reaction that I have not been able to shake. I'm taking antihistamines twice a day, but they're not really working. What on earth could have done that? Nothing's in bloom except a few bulbs (and dandelions). I need to buy a new bottle of NasalCrom -- that's helped me a lot in the past. Must put it on the grocery list for tomorrow.

8. Take a load of stuff to either Goodwill or Charm every month. Again, left this until the last minute, but on February 29th I filled a garbage sack with clothes in good condition and packed up a box of books. Right after my hike, I drove to Goodwill's new location and gave them to a worker there. Very satisfying.

9. Do something to improve my wardrobe every month. In February I worked on my underwear drawer and it was a very successful experience. I threw away so many things! I gave Goodwill all my nice, basically unworn bras that didn't fit, and threw away a LOT of underpants and old slips and pettipants, things like that. Now my underwear drawer is organized and has lots of space, and I can FIND things. I also now have six bras that fit, though two are on their last legs (do bras have legs?). But I now have a source for replacements -- eBay!

While preparing my Goodwill donation, I went through a few drawers I hadn't planned on culling yet -- my nightgown drawer, my t-shirt & sweatpants drawer, and my swimsuit drawer. I found a few things to donate, but I also tossed a lot. Like -- a nightgown that was too small when I bought it, back around 2004, and had several rips. Like -- a pair of paint-stained jeans that I haven't been able to get into for 20 years (except briefly in 2009 when I was briefly thin) and why would I want to wear them, anyway? Like -- a blue swimsuit that I wore the first time I did the Polar Bear Plunge, back in 2001, and which crackled when I touched it, because the elastic had gone bad. I found some treasures, too, such as some soft red pants with brilliant blue and green flowers on them -- I got them about 35 years ago and probably only wore them a couple of times. Into the Goodwill bag they went. 

It felt SO GOOD to get rid of this stuff! I mean, OK, it felt sad, too, like I was throwing away my history. But the main feeling I had after I went to Goodwill (and took out the trash) was relief. All those things I'd been saving in the hopes that someday I would be thin enough to wear them again. When I let them go, I felt as though I were growing up into the person I really am -- a large, fat person, age 63. I would prefer not to be a large, fat person, but that's not really relevant. It's who I am, and by getting rid of all those thin clothes, I felt as though I were giving myself permission to be who I am.

I have a lot more things to get rid of. It's going to be a good year, at least from that perspective.

In March I am going to focus on my sock drawer, and I may also look at my very sad shoe collection. I realized that it's not really going to work to focus on some of these clothing categories only once per year, because not everything is sold at the same time -- flip flops vs. winter boots, for instance. So I'll have to come back to some things. But I can definitely get rid of stuff at any time, even though I may not be able to buy what I need right away.

My sock drawer is a disaster. See all those socks? I only wear about five pairs, maybe six, out of the, I don't know, 40 or so pairs in there. Well, there are also some compression stockings that I wear when I fly, or drive for long distances, or know that I'll have to stand up for a long time, etc. But there are a LOT of socks in there that don't fit my big feet, that hurt my fat calves, that have holes in them, that don't have mates -- this drawer is way overdue for cleaning out. 

10. Finish the taxes! This wasn't actually a New Year's resolution, but in January I resolved to get these done by the end of February. In fact, our tax preparer didn't "open the portal" for me until March 1st, so I couldn't submit everything until then, but I was done (except for that) by February 29th. This is always hugely (and weirdly) stressful for me, so it felt really good to get it done. I also paid the first half of the property taxes on our two Boulder houses, which were due by February 29th.

***

It's funny, yesterday I had a zoom call with my old Michigan friends, and my former advisor asked me what I'd been up to recently (everyone got asked that). I should have been expecting the question, but for some reason I wasn't. I had been looking forward to seeing everyone else and forgot about myself -- that's a good thing, but in this case it was awkward. I couldn't think of a darn thing to say. What have I been doing? I didn't feel that I could tell him I had cleaned out my underwear drawer. 

So what have I been doing? Mostly just getting through the days. It's different from the old days, when I was teaching and the kids were little, when I woke up every morning in a state of pure anxiety about the day ahead. I don't feel that way at all anymore. Instead, I wake up tired because I don't sleep well anymore, stupid sleep apnea. But not anxious. I have trouble getting through the days, getting very much accomplished. Some of it's depression, some of it's just being tired all the time. 

I need to finish up my orthodontia so I can get the sleep apnea mouthpiece made. But now there's a problem with the orthodontia -- the bands I've been wearing on my teeth make my ears clog up! I read that this can be a TMJ problem. I have to talk to my orthodontist about it, but in the meantime I can't wear the bands anymore. I am going to have these braces for the rest of my life, I swear.

Oh well. There's some stuff going on this coming week -- Teen A's IEP meeting at the high school on Wednesday, and I see my regular doctor on Friday, which means I'll have to get bloodwork done first, maybe Tuesday. I also have to finish my birthday shopping. Their birthday is Saturday and I think we've agreed that we'll have dinner that night at Red Lobster.

I talked to Rocket Boy last night and he confirmed that he's not coming for the weekend, which makes me sad, but it's OK. We'll see him in a few weeks, in St. Louis. I'll bet some things will be in bloom there.