Goodbye March, hello April

Whew! We made it through horrible March -- and now we have horrible April ahead. But it's OK, I'm fine with that. It's going to be a difficult month, but it's the first month of spring (though we're still likely to get some snow), and the important thing is that March is over. Sunset today will be at 7:25 pm, so right there you know life is better. 

The other thing that's better is that we are home from St. Louis. We made it out there, we saw Rocket Boy through his surgery, and we made it home. What an achievement, and what a load off my mind. I was seriously dreading that, and it was seriously awful, but it's over.

Before we left Colorado we had a ridiculous experience that I still don't even want to think about. On Friday afternoon (we were to leave Sunday morning), Teen A got himself locked in the bathroom. That is, he unlocked the door after he was finished, but then the door simply wouldn't open. The cat-sitter was here, getting a refresh on how to take care of the cats, and she tried to help. I unscrewed the door knob and we took it off from both sides, but that did nothing. I gave Teen A a hammer through the window, and he got the pins out of the hinges, but that didn't help. The door would not budge. 

Ultimately, he used the hammer to rip the doorknob opening apart, and the door finally opened. And then he took everything apart, all the hardware, the hinges, everything, and we put the destroyed door on the patio, and then we didn't have a bathroom door. And we were leaving in a day and a half. We had to use the bathroom with no door, and that was interesting. It's still interesting. The walls in this house are thin and it's a fact that using the bathroom was already kind of a public experience -- that is, even with the door closed and locked and the fan on, you could still hear every toot. And now it's even more so. Plus, it's cold when you take a shower, because the steam can't build up.

I should note that we had no warning this was going to happen. That door had never shown the slightest unwillingness to open. Both Rocket Boy and I immediately jumped to the conclusion that supernatural powers were at work, possibly wanting Teen A not to go to St. Louis. I worried about Teen A the whole time we were there, but of course nothing bad happened -- to him, or to any of us.

After that nonsense, getting to St. Louis was easy. We caught the AB bus around 8:20 am, had plenty of time to hang out in the airport, the flight was uneventful (we got 3 seats together, despite our high boarding numbers), and Rocket Boy was there to meet us at the other end. It's interesting to me that I'm always delighted to see him. It never gets old. 

We spent a long time looking for a place to have lunch and finally ended up at Fitz's, which was one of the places the kids had definitely wanted to go on this trip. We all had gigantic floats (Fitz's specialty), except Rocket Boy who thinks floats are for dessert and thus almost never gets one. His loss.

Then it was back to the apartment, which seemed way too familiar, and Rocket Boy had to start getting ready for his surgery -- not eating, taking a shower with clean towels and all that. The next morning he and I got ready and left home at about 9:45 (we had to be there by 10:45). The hospital isn't that far away, but RB wanted to print out the list of his medications, so we had to go to a print shop first. What with one thing and another, we were about 5 minutes late to the appointment and you would have thought the world was ending -- multiple people called his cell phone and there was even a message on our home phone (which I discovered yesterday). But 5 minutes wasn't too much to cancel the surgery, so they took him in and I was left to wait in the same waiting room where I spent several hours in July 2022.

This surgery was much simpler, just liposuction. They made 8 incisions and took out about a liter of fat and whatnot. It was only about two hours from the time I kissed him goodbye until I was summoned into the recovery room. But it felt like a very long time. When the surgeon came to talk to me after the surgery, he looked at me funny and said, "Are you OK?" I wasn't OK, not at all. I was having some sort of residual reaction to the first surgery, I think, plus I was dreading the drive home. An orderly pushed Rocket Boy to the garage in a wheelchair and then waited for me to get the car. I hadn't driven the car since the summer of 2022, and I wasn't totally sure I even remembered how to start it. And driving in St. Louis? NOT my favorite thing to do. I just panicked. But I had to do it. I started the car, backed out, and drove over to where Rocket Boy was. And I got us home. But it was a nightmare. At one point I missed a turn and had to get on the highway, briefly, and I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. I was screaming and RB was trying to calm me down. 

My driving never really got any better. I drove a few more times on the trip -- to the grocery store, to restaurants -- and each time I was nervous and drove badly, very slowly, with my foot constantly hitting the brake. Finally it was decided that Teen A could use some driving practice, so he became the driver (with Rocket Boy sitting next to him, directing him). I had checked ahead of time: you can drive in Missouri with a permit from another state as long as you are at least 16 years old and have a parent, guardian, or grandparent with you in the front seat. I sat in the back seat with my eyes closed. God, I hate St. Louis traffic. But it was more than that. I just wasn't in good shape, mentally.

I was actually kind of afraid that when we got back to Boulder I wouldn't be able to drive here, either. But once I was back in my little Subaru, I was fine -- driving as natural as breathing. So it's something to do with Rocket Boy's car (a Toyota Highlander) and/or with St. Louis. I don't know.

So, let's see. What else did we do in St. Louis? Rocket Boy recovered pretty quickly, but he couldn't take his bandages off until Thursday and at first he was bleeding through them heavily. I kept telling him to go lie down, put his leg up. He slept a lot. I was just miserable, stressed, depressed. I felt that I should be taking care of Rocket Boy and also making sure the twins had a nice Spring Break, but I didn't seem able to do anything. I tried to follow what I think of as the Anne Lamott method: not so much asking Jesus for help, but trying to do whatever small thing I could do. So I did the dishes, and I did the laundry, and I tried to be nice to Teen B when he came down with a cold and was miserable. I took out the trash and recycling (with Teen A's help). I helped both boys with their homework (they both had reading). I didn't always manage any of that, but I tried. Little things, not big things.

One bit of excitement: Rocket Boy's apartment has mice! He had told me this before, but he said he hadn't seen one in a long time. But Teen B saw one the second day we were there. So we set a non-lethal trap -- and caught one. And another. And another. (We let them out on the front lawn.) And then one got caught at night after we'd gone to bed and it was rattling around in the trap and annoying Teen B, who slept in the little room just off the kitchen, so he got up and let it out, somehow breaking the trap in the process. So I guess now the mice have free rein in the kitchen. Not my problem anymore!

Food was a problem. I did not feel up to cooking, nor did I want to do the dishes that would result, so we ate out a lot. Tuesday I drove us (very slowly and badly) to a restaurant called Crusoe's that's walking distance from RB's apartment (but of course he couldn't walk). It was closed, but the adjoining bar was open and they had the same menu. The surprise that night was that a man at the bar paid our check! It was so nice of him, and I have no idea why he did it. Rocket Boy didn't really want to let him, but I was in Anne Lamott mode, so I was like, this is an angel, and we need to let him do his angel thing. It was wonderful.

Wednesday night we ate dinner at Joy Luck (the Chinese buffet where we ate in 2022 that everyone liked) and that was actually better than I remembered. Also, the prices hadn't gone up, and what seemed expensive in 2022 now seems normal, sigh. I drove us there and Teen A drove us back. Thursday we had a mediocre lunch at Gotham & Eggs (which used to be the terrible City Diner) and a delicious dinner at the South County Fitz's (more floats and Teen A drove), and Friday we ate lunch at a Mexican restaurant just down the street called Chimichanga's, and for dinner, Rocket Boy and Teen A went to a church that was having a fish fry and brought food back home (Teen A drove). 

My credit card bill is going to be exciting with all these dinners out, but I don't care. It was a necessary medical expense, and anyway, we didn't have a hotel bill and I paid the airline fares long ago. I did gain a few pounds on this trip, not surprisingly, but I'm not going to worry about that either.

The one activity the kids wanted to do was go to the top of the St. Louis Arch. I was going to take them on Tuesday, using Lyft, but the weather was bad that day, so we didn't go. Wednesday, Teen B was clearly sick with a cold and I didn't think I should take him somewhere he could infect other people. Thursday, Rocket Boy insisted that we go, illness be damned, so we all went. And it was kind of a disaster. Whereas the first time we went, in 2019, we were able to get tickets to ride the tram to the top right away, this time we would have had to wait four hours for a seat. Not only did we not want to wait four hours, but Rocket Boy had a job interview (via Zoom) that would be taking place at the same time. So we just walked around the museum and then left. Teen B was furious and miserable, a state which continued at the restaurant later and for the next couple of days. 

Rocket Boy really wanted to take us all to a town on the Mississippi River, in Illinois, where you have to ride a ferry to get to it -- he'd been telling me about it for weeks before the trip. And if Teen B hadn't gotten sick, maybe we would have done it. The thing was, the only person who really wanted to do this was Rocket Boy, and it sounded like it would be hard for him to do right after surgery. A lot of driving, and if Teen A drove, I would have had my eyes closed so wouldn't have seen anything anyway. Finally we convinced Rocket Boy that we shouldn't do that trip, but he was sad about it.

On Friday I finally got him to take me to the Missouri Botanical Garden, which was the one thing I wanted to do in St. Louis (see my description below, under hiking). And Saturday we left. Rocket Boy was really sad that we couldn't stay for Easter, but I had planned the trip to give the kids an extra day at home before going back to school. Today we are all just chilling out and that's a good thing. 

It kind of breaks my heart to think of RB home alone, though, with the jellybeans and chocolate eggs we bought at Schnuck's and the plastic eggs he'd gotten at a resale shop (and hidden around the apartment -- he was distressed because the kids weren't very interested in looking for them). But he is good at taking care of himself. After we left on Saturday he went to Fitz's for lunch (his third meal at Fitz's in a week), didn't have a float again, and then went to see "Dune 2" by himself. And he's probably fine today. But I feel sad.

***

I'll do a March resolution roundup, since it's the last day of the month.

1. Read at least 52 books, i.e., 1 per week. I read 11 books in March. That's 37 books so far this year.

2. Read biographies of at least 3 presidents. I'm going to leave Warren G. Harding for May. Nobody difficult in March or April!

3. See at least 24 movies, i.e., 2 per month. I didn't see a single movie this month, even though Rocket Boy had gotten several from the library that he thought we could watch together. I listened to a couple of them from the bedroom while he watched them.

4. Go to at least 12 special things, i.e., 1 per month. Teen B and I went to see the musical "Big Fish" at their high school and I enjoyed that a lot.

5. Continue blogging/write another novel. I've continued blogging, but I didn't work on my novel in March. Instead, I worked on my memoirs -- mostly because I wanted to write about March and why I hate it. In April, I don't know what I'll write. We'll see.

6. Take a walk every day and do a stretch video every morning. I took exactly 3 walks in March, on the 4th, 5th, and 6th. That's it (except for the "hike," see below). I did a lot of stretch videos, though -- on 16 different days. There was also one big shoveling day. I'm hoping I can get back into walking this month. It will depend on the weather.

7. Take a hike every month. I put this off until the last week of March, thinking we would hike in St. Louis -- and then it occurred to me that of course Rocket Boy wouldn't be able to hike, having just had surgery. However, on Friday I did finally convince him to go to the Missouri Botanical Garden, which I just knew would be beautiful at this time of year. And it was. So lovely. I used my app, so I know we walked 1.73 miles. It took us a little over an hour, so obviously we were walking pretty slowly (and it was probably too much for Rocket Boy, sigh). It's OK. I'm still calling it a hike.

The bulbs were at their best -- tulips, daffodils, hyacinths. The flowering trees might have been just past their prime, I'm not sure. But you know these gardens must be lovely from now through the fall. We walked through one area that was all daylilies -- none of them in bloom yet, probably 100 different varieties. I'd like to come back when they're blooming (except for the fact that I don't ever want to go back to St. Louis).

The one downside to the outing was that I left my sun hat in RB's car, so it didn't come home with us. But I think he'll mail it to me, so I'll have it before April 30th (when I take my April hike).

8. Take a load of stuff to either Goodwill or Charm every month. Almost didn't manage to do this, but on Friday before we left I filled a box and a bag with old clothes and took them to Goodwill. It really is a good idea to do this every month. We have endless things to give away.

9. Do something to improve my wardrobe every month. In March I worked on my sock drawer. I had thought I would also look at my shoes, but I barely managed to do the socks, so that was it for the month. I planned to get rid of things that don't fit or have holes or are uncomfortable and then I thought I would buy new socks. But it turned out that I had more socks than I realized -- like all these white socks that I'd forgotten about. And when I inserted the drawer dividers I'd gotten at Target, there was less room for new socks than I'd expected (i.e., none). So while I did throw out a lot of socks -- some in great condition, but I just can't wear them, they hurt my legs -- there were a lot left. So many, in fact, that I decided not to buy any new ones. I'll wear these for now, and if any of them turn out not to be good -- say, they fall down, or have holes -- I'll throw them out promptly, so that the drawer doesn't fill up with nonsense again.

In April I think I will work on shoes. I have perhaps a dozen pairs of shoes that I never wear, and it's time to let the good ones go to Goodwill and the falling-apart ones go in the trash. I think I could also look into buying a new pair of lightweight hiking boots -- the kind that are sort of half tennis shoe half hiking boot. Rocket Boy had a new pair in St. Louis that I admired. I'll see.

10. Work on the files! This was a New Year's resolution, but I have not addressed it much at all so far this year. It occurred to me that I am running out of time. The kids have 8 weeks of school left (some of them partial weeks), and once school is out, it's really hard to work on the files, because they're in this room all the time. Also, if Rocket Boy manages to move back to Colorado within the next six months, I'll be screwed, because he's going to argue with me about how I do the files. So it's kind of now or never. Therefore, I resolve to focus on the files this month.

But also the yard, even though it's only April, because I've got those terrible branches down everywhere. I should probably plan to spend half an hour every day sawing branches apart. Sigh.

***

Anyway, that was our week in St. Louis, and that was my month of March, and now we are back and it is almost April. I will post about my March reading experience tomorrow or the next day. Meanwhile, it feels like time for a nap (it's 5:15). It's been a strange Easter. No hiding eggs -- a tradition that I was thrilled to give up. No special meal, though we did go to Starbucks and I've promised Teen B that he can have McDonald's for dinner. I'm planning to have scrambled eggs. Teen A isn't sure what he wants. I didn't get out the stuffed bunnies (maybe next year). We didn't read any Easter books. We didn't go to church. The kids don't even know what Easter is about. I should correct that. Another time. Maybe someday they'll fall in love with someone who'll explain it to them.

What's coming up this week? Oh, so many things. For instance,

1. I have to call Blue Cross and LabCorp and find out why on earth Blue Cross didn't pay for my recent lab work. I also have to check with Blue Cross to make sure they're going to pay for my colonoscopy next week.
   
2. I have to find a new bathroom door and someone to hang it.
3. I have to FINALLY call dentists and try to find a new one for us.
   
4. I have to start cutting up the gigantic branches around the yard.
5. I have to make a plan for working on the files this month -- and then start doing it.
6. I have to have a mammogram (on Tuesday) and start worrying about my colonoscopy next week, filling out paperwork, etc.
7. I have to make an appointment for the cats to get their nails clipped.
   
8. I have to clean the house, plan the meals, grocery shop, make dinner every night, help the kids with their homework, do laundry, feed the cats, clean litter boxes, etc., etc.
   

It'll probably be fine.