We won -- still can't believe it

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won the election. I have to keep telling myself that, and writing it down, and talking to other people about it, so that I can absorb its reality. I guess there are still ways for Trump to win, illegally and unfairly -- weird things that involve the Supreme Court and states with Republican governors and whatnot. I hope those things don't happen. I'm not spending a lot of time thinking about them. Trump has clearly and decisively LOST the election, legally and ethically. I wish the GOP had also lost the Senate and won less in the House and all that, so that Biden could actually manage to accomplish something, but the most important thing was to reject Trump...and that has happened. 

It was a terrible week for me, as I know it was for so many other people. I couldn't sleep the night before the election, the night after the election, and the two nights following that. Friday night I finally slept my preferred seven and a half hours, but it's going to take a while to recover from last week. When I say I couldn't sleep, I mean I woke up too early. Actually, the first two nights I also had trouble falling asleep, but the worst part was waking up at 3 am or 4 am or 5 am and realizing that sleep was over for the night. I wasn't manic, my mind wasn't racing. I was just awake, filled with dread and misery. 

And when Friday came and it became clear that Biden/Harris would win, and especially on Saturday morning, when Joe was declared the winner (we had chocolate cake to celebrate), I felt this deep sense of peace and relief. Also, oddly, I felt great sympathy for Trump supporters. All week I had been angry at them, angry that over 70 million adults in the U.S. voted for Trump -- after four years of him, after KNOWING what he is, what he does. Honestly, I've been furiously angry for the last four years, even since Hillary lost despite winning the popular vote. But when Biden won, and it was clear he would also win the popular vote by a wide margin, I let go of some of that tension, that anger. I thought about how sad and lost the Trump supporters feel. I wondered how to bring them back into the fold. Baaaa.

A week or so ago I watched part of a Trevor Noah show online, in which one of his people went to a Trump rally and interviewed people there. One blond woman made me so sad (starting around 4:35 on the video). She was clearly very worried about something she'd probably seen on Facebook. "I can't live under socialist rule," she said. "Biden's not going to last four years and then the Camelback will take over." (Beautiful Michelle Obama was sometimes referred to as a gorilla. Apparently lovely, stylish Kamala is going to be a camel. Does it make white people feel better to refer to people of color as animals?) She said that if Biden won, with his socialized medicine and all that, she was thinking of leaving the country. Trevor Noah's person asked where she would go. "I'm thinking about Costa Rica," she said, and he noted that they have universal healthcare, but she didn't get it.

I felt sad for the blond lady. In addition to being a racist bitch, she was so afraid! She didn't seem very bright, but she was also trapped in a maze of misinformation. I don't want people to be so afraid that they relinquish their minds to Trump. Can we work together on any level? I'm tired of hating half the country. I don't care if it sounds naive. I just want to find a way to coexist.

The covid news is scary this week: 237,875 deaths so far. Last Sunday it was 230,703 -- so that's an average of over 1000 a day this week, very bad. Of course the number of cases has gone way up too, higher than ever, so the deaths are still a smaller percentage of cases than they used to be, which is good -- but nothing else about this is good. Boulder County's caseload has gone way up -- 123 average daily cases. They put us back on "Safer at Home," which I think just means fewer people allowed in stores and restaurants. If we go up quite a bit more, they'll close us down again. Or so they say. I'm thinking I'd better get my hair cut before it's too late.

Schools have been relabeled as "critical," so my understanding is that they may stay open even if many businesses have to shut down. But the kids' school is having a hard time staying open anyway. The boos went to school in person on October 29th and 30th. Then a student in the other cohort was diagnosed with covid and everyone who had interacted with that student had to go on quarantine, including various teachers. So they closed the school entirely last week. It's supposed to reopen on November 12th. I'm hopeful, but I'm not holding my breath.

I thought this quarter would be easier, but it sort of isn't. They are both taking life science, PE, and an artsy class (music for Kid B, drama for Kid A). The artsy classes are going the best, I think, though Kid A continues to insist that he doesn't want to take drama (it wasn't his choice). 

PE is proving to be quite challenging -- for ME. In the "synchronous" hour they study Health topics with their teacher, but in the "asynchronous" hour they have to exercise. Once a week they do a yoga video, once a week they do a very strenuous aerobic video, and once a week they go for a 20-minute run (the other two days are "choice" days, when a walk is OK). Kid B has an interest in obeying the teacher, so I do the exercises with him. I'm sure it's quite amusing to watch me trying to do the yoga video (I used to like yoga!) or the aerobics video. Kid A refuses to do both of those, but last week I did manage to get both boys to do the run. The problem is that they have PE at different times. So from 12:21 to 1:12 I helped Kid B do the run, and from 2:07 to 3:07 I helped Kid A do the run (don't ask me about the funky times -- the only explanation I've come up with is that the person who set up the schedule isn't very good at math). I myself did not actually run -- I walked with them and cheered them on whenever they ran a little (it's OK for them to combine walking and running). But altogether I walked for about 40 minutes, which for me, at my enormous weight, is a lot. 

I thought they'd do well in science, since they both liked it last year, but it doesn't seem to be going well. Life science shouldn't be done via a screen. Each week they are expected to do a small independent project (called a "4er" because they do it to earn the 4th point possible each week) and that has especially not been going well. I don't think Kid A has done any 4ers yet, Kid B maybe one (or maybe not). This week one of the 4er options was to take a nature walk and then create a piece of art about it, so I thought we could do that (other options: write a song about science, record yourself teaching one of the week's topics...um, no). On Saturday we drove out to Walden Ponds, off 75th Street, and walked around the fishing pond. But it wasn't a very successful outing. The boys were more interested in skipping stones across the water (really great for the man out there trying to fish!) than observing "nature." And granted, November in Colorado is not the best time to observe nature. I kind of like the gray-brown look of everything, but it's not exciting. It's too subtle for 12-year-old boys, at least my two. I took a bunch of photos to remind them of what we saw, and I'm still hoping I can convince them to turn this into art by tomorrow (the 4ers are due Monday night), but I might be kidding myself.

Well, it's getting late and I still need to do some raking and maybe get the kids to help. Then finish the laundry, clean up the kitchen, think about dinner. There are several other things on my list, but I think surviving the week is the most important thing. Today, Sunday, can be my day of rest.