Rocket Boy leaves

Rocket Boy has (finally) flown the coop. He first planned to leave on May 6th, but he wasn't ready, and then May 7th, but he still wasn't ready, and finally around 2:30 on May 8th he drove down the driveway and away to St. Louis. The weather has been horrible here and he's going to have bad weather all along the road (thunderstorms, flooding, maybe even snow, maybe even tornadoes), so I wanted him to leave earlier in the day, but he left when he was ready. He walked Kid B to school this morning, drove Kid A to his special school at noon, did the dishes, and even cleaned Pie's litter box. I think that was a sweet thing to do. All of it was sweet. He's also been trying to teach the twins a few life skills these past weeks, such as making pancakes, making spaetzle, and mowing the lawn.

Since he left so late AND the weather is terrible AND he's driving a 28-year-old car that needs to be babied, he probably won't make it very far today. We decided crossing the border into Kansas was a reasonable goal, and he's hoping to make it to Colby, Kansas, which is about 250 miles from here. Hays, Kansas would be even better, but that's over 350 miles. We'll see where he is when he calls tonight. Hopefully not still in Colorado with car trouble.

He mentioned that he was sorry he didn't get a "Roadside Geology of Kansas" to consult along the way. I said, "It is going to be POURING the whole way! You are not going to be able to SEE any roadside geology!" I was getting a little frustrated with him at that point. Also worried. I hope he is OK. He is an extremely resourceful person, so I know he will deal with whatever he has to deal with, but I hope he doesn't have to deal with much.

I picked Kid B up from school at 2:40, and Kid A was dropped off by his carpool at 3:30. Now they are watching TV, some horrible "influencer" show on YouTube, which is all they want to watch these days. I listen with one ear and make them switch to something else if I hear anything bad. Mostly it's just really really stupid stuff. For instance, they like to watch people play video games. I have to get them to watch less TV, but I'm not going to do that today. In fact, I'm not going to try to make any big changes this week. We'll just get through it. We'll probably just get through next week, too, since there are special activities EVERY SINGLE DAY. Both cats have vet appointments. The kids have TWO field trips, Kid A has a conference at his special school, there's an instrumental music concert and a choir concert. Tuesday is my last PTA meeting (I'm the secretary) and there's a restaurant fundraiser that evening. This Sunday is Mother's Day (I think I'm OK with ignoring it this year) and next Saturday they're going to a birthday party.

The week after that is graduation week and it's just as busy. Two more field trips, a welcome picnic at their new school and a farewell picnic at their current school, my book group is coming, and Rocket Boy is coming back for a 23-hour visit in order to attend graduation. We all keep telling each other that: "We'll see Dad in two weeks!"

I cried when Rocket Boy left. I don't cry much anymore, but this has been a tearful spring. I cried at Mrs. E's funeral this past weekend, not so much because I was sad but because of the sweet stories people were telling about her. I know I'll cry at graduation and probably at some of the other events coming up, all the goodbyes.

I cried when Rocket Boy left because I kept thinking, this isn't what we planned when we got married. We didn't plan to have two kids and then have Rocket Boy drive away to St. Louis and leave me with them. We didn't plan to struggle to find work and grow old and angry with each other because of the struggles. I keep remembering happy times, mostly before we had the twins, but also when they were babies. It's just been since we moved back to Boulder that life has gone so sour. I know we need to do this, that it's the next step, that it's a good step for Rocket Boy, a real opportunity. I also know that what you plan isn't what happens. But I still cried, and he hugged me and said it's going to be OK.