We achieved the main goals of the trip: (1) we got my little sister's car and drove it all the way back to Colorado without incident; (2) we saw a LOT of relatives; (3) and we visited Ridgecrest and Death Valley. Those were the main things we wanted to do. So much fun.
As I expected, I was devastated by my weight and my braces. The weight was the worst, but the braces did not help. After one meal, when we were preparing to take a family photo, I saw my cousin's wife checking her teeth in a little mirror. I thought, oh, I wish I had a little mirror to check my teeth, and then I thought, maybe I don't want to know. Every meal, every snack, there I am with my finger in my mouth, trying to dislodge the worst of it. Sometimes I pulled out a little flosser thing and used that, but that's not really polite to do when you're sitting with people. But is sticking your finger in your mouth polite? No, and yet often I needed to dislodge some food to be able to go on eating. Probably I should have excused myself at the end of each meal (and maybe halfway through as well) and gone to the bathroom to work on my teeth. But that's so disruptive. And what about the conversation during the meal? Oh well.
But my weight. It was awful. We currently have only one full-length mirror in our little house, tucked into a corner in the kids' room. The mirror that used to be on the old bathroom door is under our bed... so I honestly didn't know what I looked like. This changed on the trip, partly with the hotel rooms, but especially the four nights we stayed at my sister's. Her guest room has a big full-length mirror -- mirrored closet doors maybe it was. Every morning, getting dressed, I would look at my body in horror. Not a good way to start the day.
Our last family visit on the trip, to Rocket Boy's cousin in the San Fernando Valley, was the only time I didn't feel enormous, because his cousin's son-in-law has put on a lot of weight. I'll talk more about that when I get to that point in the story.
I tried really really really hard not to let my anxiety about my looks control my interactions with people. Not one person said a single thing about my weight, so most of the time I didn't mention it either. I did talk at one meal about how I was going to go home and start taking Mounjaro, but I think that was it. I didn't want to be in any family pictures, but I didn't say that, I just got in the picture. I didn't look at them afterwards, if I could avoid doing so. But I just felt so much shame.
I kept telling myself, it doesn't matter what you look like, it doesn't matter that you're fat, you're not here to look beautiful, you're here to see these relatives and enjoy their company, stop making it about you. There were times when I had to run those words in my mind over and over and over just to keep from running out of the room, driving away, maybe over a cliff.
It's all so nuts.
Well, anyway.
***
Wednesday, May 29th. The kids and I caught the 9:36 AB-1 bus to the airport. Our Southwest flight was on time to start, but then things went wrong. Gusty winds at the airport caused all flights to be delayed, and we sat around on the tarmac for two hours. But, you know, it wasn't anybody's fault and there was nothing anyone could do, so I didn't get upset about it. After two hours we finally took off and the winds were still pretty darn gusty. We had to stop in Ontario, but not change planes, so we didn't have the problem of making a connecting flight. Everyone got off except us, and we got to move to the front of the plane to sit together. We learned, however, that the front of the plane is a very serious place (full of boring rich people and businessmen), and we were the only ones cracking jokes and laughing loudly.
At the San Jose airport, my sister Nancy and her husband Rick picked us up in the car that was about to become ours, and we discovered that the righthand rear seatbelt didn't work! Great distress all around (since that is Teen B's preferred place to sit), but Rick drove carefully and there was no problem. We picked up delicious takeout from the Athena Grill in Santa Clara and took it back to their house to eat.
The next morning we ate a good free breakfast in the hotel and started driving our new car north to Lake County to visit my cousin Brenda.
I'm going to pause here and think a little bit about the costs of the trip. All breakfasts were free, either in hotels or with family members, so I'll leave them off the list. Rocket Boy of course also had plane fare, but he paid that, so I'll leave it off the list. This is everything else I can remember (with a little help from my credit card statement). The things I paid for are in red; the things that family members covered are in blue.
- one-way airplane tickets for the 3 of us -- $400.44 (very cheap)
- 5/29 bus fare to the airport (mom only, kids are free) -- $10
- 5/29 tip for driver -- $5
- 5/29 Starbucks at the airport -- $27.54
- 5/29 Mediterranean takeout at Nancy's
- 5/29 full tank of gas already in the car
- 5/29 hotel (Holiday Inn & Suites) in Santa Clara -- $196.26
- 5/30 tip for maid -- $5
- 5/30 Starbucks for lunch in Santa Rosa -- $50.80
- 5/30 dinner at Brenda's (lasagna)
- 5/30 stayed the night at Brenda's
- 5/31 lunch at Brenda's
- 5/31 Chinese takeout w/Brenda -- about $80 (I paid cash)
- 5/31 stayed the night at Brenda's
- 6/1 Starbucks for a break in Santa Rosa -- $30.65
- 6/1 late lunch at Barbara's
- 6/1 Chinese takeout at Barbara's
- 6/1 stayed the night at Nancy's
- 6/2 Starbucks (Sunday) in Santa Clara -- $25.40
- 6/2 lunch at Nancy's
- 6/2 dinner at Barbara's (barbecue)
- 6/2 stayed the night at Nancy's
- 6/3 lunch at Nancy's
- 6/3 dinner at Barbara's (pizza)
- 6/3 stayed the night at Nancy's
- 6/4 got gas in Santa Clara -- $42.84
- 6/4 lunch at Nancy's
- 6/4 dinner at Nancy's (salmon)
- 6/4 stayed the night at Nancy's
- 6/5 takeout lunch from Capriotti's with Marina & Gabor -- $94.64
- 6/5 got gas in San Luis Obispo -- $40 (paid cash)
- 6/5 dinner at June's (charcuterie & bundt cakes)
- 6/5 hotel (Springfield Suites) in Valencia/Santa Clarita -- $250
- 6/6 tip for maid -- $5
- 6/6 lunch at Kristy's in Ridgecrest -- $91.78
- 6/6 souvenirs at the Maturango Museum in Ridgecrest -- $175.73
- 6/6 got gas in Ridgecrest -- $27.74
- 6/6 souvenirs at the Stovepipe Wells gift shop in Death Valley -- $41.99
- 6/6 dinner at China Wok in Pahrump, NV -- $76.09
- 6/6 hotel (Holiday Inn Express & Suites) in Pahrump -- $177.67
- 6/7 tip for maid -- $10
- 6/7 got gas in Pahrump -- $22.15
- 6/7 lunch at Black Bear Diner in St. George, UT -- $75.94
- 6/7 got gas in Richfield -- $30.33
- 6/7 dinner at Munchies Pizza & Deli in Fruita, CO -- about $45 (paid cash)
- 6/7 hotel (La Quinta) in Fruita -- $257.11
- 6/8 tip for maid -- $10
- 6/8 got gas in Fruita -- $20.30
- 6/8 lunch at Rosi's Bavarian Restaurant in Glenwood Springs -- $77.42
- 6/10 (probably) payment to catsitters ($15/visit x 20 visits) -- $300
So the total cost of the trip (roughly, not counting RB's ticket) was around $2700, and if you subtract the plane fares which I paid a month ago, and the cat sitters, it was around $2000. A lot of money, but just think what it would have been if we'd stayed in hotels every night and eaten every meal in a restaurant. Most of the meals, lunch or dinner, cost over $70, and the hotels averaged $220 a night, plus a tip for the maid. It would have been over $2000 more, easily.
I should have tipped Nancy! and Brenda!
This has been a busy day with Rocket Boy here -- so many different things to work on together -- so now it's almost 11 pm and I've only described one day of the trip. I'll come back tomorrow, or later in the week, and write about more of the days. This is good for now.
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