Sunday, June 30, 2024

The heat, the heat

Last summer was so pleasant, I almost forgot what it's like when it's hot. I mean, we had heat, but not until later in the summer, when you're ready for it.

This summer, well... I believe I mentioned a few weeks ago that we (I) had mowed the front lawn once before we left on our trip, in late May. And when we got back I was surprised to see that the grass hadn't grown at all in our absence. It hasn't grown since then, either. I am beginning to think that we will not need to mow again this year.

Of course, we could water the lawn. I haven't used the underground sprinklers in years, don't know if they still work, but we could experiment. Or we could find the little sprinkler that you attach the hose to, set that up. Maybe we will. It's probably not good for the trees to be so dry.

We are getting a little moisture out of the sky -- for instance, it rained last night. Just not very much. Not enough to make a difference on the lawn. And the backyard, oh my goodness. It looks positively flammable. A few nights ago we had very high winds, and I worried. Fortunately, no fires started near us.

Of course, I should be working in the backyard, getting the dry branches out of there, pulling the weeds, pruning -- like I did last year. But I just can't get myself to do it. This miracle drug that I'm on (Mounjaro) seems to sap my energy something awful. I get almost nothing done each day. It's sort of a combination of nausea and fatigue, but there's something else involved too, an extreme lack of motivation.

I've stopped losing weight, too, at least for now. Last week, on Sunday I weighed 252.4 pounds. This morning, one week later: 252.2 pounds. That's also what I weighed yesterday morning, so it's not just a fluke. I mean, two tenths of a pound down is better than two tenths of a pound up, but considering how much I walked with Teen B and how little I ate, I'm like -- WTF? And I've started wondering whether maybe my inability to do much of anything is related to this. Like, maybe my body has noticed that I had started losing weight and decided it was an emergency and it had better lie on the bed all day instead of moving around and possibly losing more weight.

I wouldn't put it past my body to pull something like that. It does not approve of weight loss.

Oh well. I'll try not to dwell on it. If the drug is helping my blood sugar -- and I won't know until my next A1c test, which I think will be in September -- that's probably good enough. Weight loss is just cosmetic, really. I mean, OK, losing weight would probably lower my blood pressure and get rid of my sleep apnea and all that good stuff, but we can't have everything.

I'm kind of bummed. But it's early days -- I've only had 3 shots so far. Maybe there will be some weight loss later.

***

What else? Other than the presidential debate, which was the low point of the week. Every time Joe Biden pops up on my phone or laptop, asking for money, I scream back at him: "Step down!" but so far he's not doing it. I'm trying to adjust, slowly, to the idea of a second term for Trump. What a nightmare. Come on, Joe, do the right thing, let somebody else do this work. You're not up to it anymore. Give somebody else a chance to try.

***

We didn't do anything special this week, other than buy ice cream bars and Luigi ices at the grocery store every other day or so (this is for the kids, mostly, not me). And Teen B and I kept on walking. We didn't have to do a special walk this week, no hikes or 5k's or anything like that, just 10 miles any way we want to do it. We missed one night -- Thursday, when the wind was blowing a million miles an hour and it looked too dangerous -- so we took longer walks on Friday and Saturday to make up for it. On Friday evening we walked to Dairy Queen and back, for a total of 2.14 miles, and on Saturday afternoon we walked to King Soopers so I could get a paper, then the library to return and get books, and then we went the long way home, via Stanford Avenue, Kohler, and west Dartmouth, for 2.09 miles. There's a lot of steep uphill and then steep downhill, and Teen B kept saying, "Where ARE we?" as if he'd never driven that way before. (It does look different on foot.)

I bought some more flowers to plant, but have I planted them? Nooooo. I keep putting it on my to-do list and then not doing it. Maybe later today. I feel so bad about not planting them! I'm watering them, so they haven't died, but I need to get them in the dirt. My window boxes look so sad, except the one with the herbs.

I must get them planted this week. Preferably today, but if not, then in the next couple of days. I want them planted before the 4th of July, since I got them in rather patriotic colors. And yes, 4th of July means that the 5th of July will be coming soon after, in fact the next day. My 64th birthday. I don't think anything special is supposed to happen on your 64th, other than singing "When I'm 64" at the top of your lungs.

I just played two YouTube videos of that song. Teen A was not amused.

I don't know what I'm going to do for my birthday. Rocket Boy won't be here. It will be too hot to do much of anything, and I'll be too nauseated to want to eat anything fancy. Still, I'll buy a cake (no sense wasting my energy trying to make one this year) and we'll probably eat out or get takeout or something. But what else? My sister suggested going to a movie. There isn't anything I really want to see in the theaters, but I saw that several films are being released on July 5th, so maybe I can come up with something.

I don't want anything in the way of presents. Oh, maybe I should think about that. What about a new shirt? I'm already tired of all my tank tops. Back in May, when I switched out my winter & summer clothes, I filled a bag for Goodwill, including some of my tank tops that I decided I didn't like anymore. And yesterday I took one of them out again (yes, the bag has still not gone to Goodwill and it's almost July) and hung it back in the closet. The problem is that most of my tank tops/sleeveless blouses are navy blue. I have (just counted) SIX navy blue tank tops, plus one that's a mix of navy and royal blue, and another that's royal blue. Other than that, I have a green one and a black one and a white one and the one I just pulled out of the Goodwill bag that's turquoise and white. Yes, I know that's 12 tank tops, which is a lot, really, but still.

Maybe I should buy myself a pink tank top. Or purple. I do have a couple of purple ones, but they're Lands End and they don't fit me very well. I'm not really Lands End-shaped. OK, I just did some eBay searching, but nothing turned up that appealed to me. I think I'm not in the mood to shop.

I don't really want any Barbie stuff either. I love my Barbies dearly, but I have so many of them, all sitting on my shelves waiting for me to write the stories about them. The stories are outlined, it would be so easy to start writing, but I haven't been in the mood to write, either.

This stupid drug!

And the heat.

***

Well, June ends at midnight, so maybe I should do a review of the month (and I could review May as well, while I'm at it).

1. Read at least 52 books, i.e., 1 per week. I read 10 books in May and 8 books in June (I don't expect to finish another tonight, lol). That's 63 books so far this year.

2. Read biographies of at least 3 presidents. I read two biographies of Warren G. Harding in May and now I'm reading a biography of his wife, Florence. I'll leave Calvin Coolidge for August. Or September.

3. See at least 24 movies, i.e., 2 per month. I watched one movie in May and one movie in June. We may see more in July, but I don't think I'm going to make it to 24 this year. I've seen 8 so far, total.

4. Go to at least 12 special things, i.e., 1 per month. Our trip to California counts as my special thing in May-June, but there's been nothing since. I'd like to go to a concert, maybe, but I don't know what. Or a Rockies game! Except they're so terrible this year. All that money, the drive -- to watch them lose in some awful way. You know what I'd like to see -- Macbeth, at the Colorado Shakespeare Festival. I wonder if I could talk the twins into going with me. Hmm.

5. Continue blogging/write another novel. In late May/early June, on our trip, I wrote a short story, but I haven't written anything since then except this blog. Haven't even typed up the story (I wrote it by hand, in a notebook, very unusual for me these days).

6. Take a walk every day and do a stretch video every morning. In May I did 16 stretch videos and took 6 walks. In June I did 3 stretch videos and took 26 walks (plus we'll probably take one tonight). I keep meaning to do more stretch videos, because they help with flexibility, but I just can't seem to get myself to do them. The walks are good, though.


7. Take a hike every month. I don't know if this really counts, but in late May, Teen B and I went walking with my cousin Brenda, which was sort of like a hike. It was in the woods! But anyway, in June we did that silly hike for his class. And in July we'll do another, hopefully somewhere cooler.


8. Take a load of stuff to either Goodwill or Charm every month. Didn't do this in May or June. I'll try to take the bag to Goodwill this week, but that'll be July.


9. Do something to improve my wardrobe every month. In April, May, and June my goal was to work on shoes, and I didn't really do it. Well, a little. I threw out some old sandals that were falling apart and set out two pairs of shoes to give to Goodwill. But there are a LOT of shoes I didn't even look at. Maybe this week (before going to Goodwill), I could make another attempt to look at our old shoes. I need a new pair of walking/hiking shoes too, but don't have the energy to hunt for them. Should I have another goal for July? I guess I feel as though I don't want to do a lot of shopping if I'm going to be getting smaller. But maybe I'm not going to be (it's not looking good). Oh, I don't know. Don't worry about this for now.

10. Work on the files. I'm sorry, but this is hopeless. I wish I were working on the files, but it isn't happening. Not At All.

Well, that was sort of depressing. I think, though, that I have to go easy on myself right now. It's hot, it's going to continue to be hot for quite some time, and I'm getting used to this new drug, which is currently kicking my butt. 

My July resolutions should be to survive the summer, keep on helping Teen B with his PE class, and maybe help Teen A get a job. Oh, and keep the pets alive, and somehow manage to make dinner (that's a really hard one right now, with the nausea).

And get those flowers planted.

And get Joe Biden to step down, by sending thought waves at him. Yeah, right. 

OK, time to go make dinner. Bleah.

Wednesday, June 26, 2024

Reading post: Vladimir Nabokov in June

June is almost over, so I think it's time for another reading post. In June I decided to read books by Vladimir Nabokov (1899-1977), partly because I have always understood that it is "important" to have read Nabokov, but also because he was a lepidopterist. According to Wikipedia, in 1967 Nabokov said, "It is not improbable that had there been no revolution in Russia, I would have devoted myself entirely to lepidopterology and never written any novels at all." (Of course, you must take everything Nabokov ever said with a grain of salt.) In The Emigrants by W. G. Sebald, which I loved, Nabokov wanders in and out of the stories, carrying his butterfly net, and that encouraged me to finally read Pnin last year, which I also enjoyed. So I decided that Nabokov would be one of my authors this year. And summer is the best time to look for butterflies, so it seemed like a good time to read Nabokov. 

However, I got off to a slow start on account of our trip to California. When we got back to Colorado on June 8th, I had two other books I had to finish first: the book for the book group and a library book I was 2/3 of the way through. I finally started reading Lolita on June 13th and then spent the next 12 days immersing myself in Nabokov.

  • Lolita (1955). I started with his most famous novel. Wow, that is a hard book to like. I understand that the language is beautiful and amazing. The contortions Nabokov goes through to make a monster into a somewhat, temporarily, sympathetic character are impressive. But the story is so disgusting: a mentally unstable man in his 30s who is sexually attracted to prepubescent girls marries the mother of one such girl, the mother is hit by a car, and the man goes off with the girl (who, I should note, does not want to be with him). Maybe if I hadn't had a relative who was a pedophile I would feel differently about this novel. But I kept picturing Humbert Humbert -- who is supposedly movie-star handsome -- as my ugly relative. Part 2 of the book begins with an exhausting narrative of their year-long drive around the U.S., and it almost did me in. I get it, I get the point, I kept thinking. Why do we have to keep going? (Lolita the character probably felt the same way.) I felt that way about the book in general -- why does it have to be this long? I'm sure I missed dozens of clever tricks in the book, and I don't care. I don't want to know anything more about it.

  • Pale Fire (1962). This book is considered by many to be Nabokov's finest achievement. It's interesting from a historical perspective, as an early example of metafiction and hypertext fiction (without the actual ability to jump from link to link). But the story itself... the novel consists of a 999-line poem supposedly written by a famous poet named John Shade, plus a Foreword, Commentary, and Index supposedly written by his neighbor, one Charles Kinbote. That structure sounded interesting to me, but it turned out to be another crazy person (Kinbote), another unreliable narrator, more male academics blithering on...

    You can read the book by jumping from one note to another, but after trying that, I decided to read the sections in order. I kind of liked the poem, though according to the internet, I'm supposed to think it's dreadful. It's Nabokov imitating T. S. Eliot, who he did not like (pointing out that his name is an anagram for "toilets")...  Then came the Commentary, where Charles Kinbote, instead of commenting on the poem, tells his own story, the story he supposedly told John Shade and expected him to write the poem about. Since Shade wrote the poem about his life instead, especially the suicide of his daughter Hazel, Kinbote uses the Commentary to tell his own story, all about a land called Nova Zembla where there was a revolution and the gay King (possibly Kinbote in disguise) was forced to flee. Kinbote is clearly a nut (or maybe imaginary), but his story is sometimes engrossing. After a while I got tired of it, though. I'm not sure the book works, if you find Kinbote worthless and boring. And the gay stuff -- that may have been exciting and racy in 1962, but in 2024 it just seems silly.

    According to Wikipedia, "[some] readers de-emphasize any sort of "real story" and may doubt the existence of such a thing." I don't want to read a novel that doesn't have a story. I could see that there were lots of games going on in the text, and for some people that might make it worthwhile. But I want more than games in a novel.

    The bottom line is that I thought Pale Fire was a waste of my time. I have no idea why people love this book.

  • Speak, Memory: An Autobiography Revisited (1951, 1966). I could have read a third novel, but Nabokov's autobiography is claimed to be one of the best ever written, so I went with that. My first impression was that it was interesting, but it didn't make me like Nabokov. Such an elitist, so scornful of non-elites. But reading on, I changed my mind. Nabokov wasn't being elitist, he simply came from an elite family. For the most part, in this book he describes, in gorgeous, lush language, aspects of his childhood in pre-Revolutionary Russia, and then how his family had to flee to Europe and his life there. Most of it had a queerly detached sense, except maybe the chapter about his time at Cambridge and the one about the birth of his son. It ends in an odd, poignant way. I will keep this book, and probably reread it.

I'm continuing to puzzle over why I'm not entranced by Nabokov's fiction (though I did like Pnin). I may just have read the wrong books. In the comments section of the article in the Times where I got my recommendations, other people have suggested Ada or Ardor, Despair, Invitation to a Beheading, and others. Maybe I'll try one of those someday. 

In the introduction to my edition of Pale Fire, which I didn't read until I was about halfway through the book, Richard Rorty makes certain claims about how Nabokov's books work.

He discovered that the best way to get his readers to notice suffering was to show it to them for a moment, then get them to forget it for a long time, and then bring it back again just as the reader has gotten completely caught up in the sheer beauty of the fantasy, the sheer joy of the prose.

I think my problem with Pale Fire and also Lolita is that I never got "caught up in the sheer beauty." I never forgot that Lolita was suffering, and I certainly never cared anything about King Charles of Zembla, only a little about John Shade and Sybil and their daughter Hazel. How could anyone feel differently? Maybe if you like stories of kings and hitmen, the Zembla part of the book would be enjoyable. I found it excruciating. I understand that people like to puzzle out the layers of meaning in the book -- was Kinbote really Botkin, is the whole Kinbote thing just a product of John Shade's imagination, blah blah blah. I just don't find it interesting.
 
So, OK, I've now read Nabokov. I still think Pnin was better than anything else I've read by him, so in some ways the last two weeks have been pointless. But I tried. It's funny -- Nabokov apparently strongly disliked women writers, until someone convinced him to give Jane Austen another chance and he decided he liked one of her novels. In some ways I think Nabokov may be more of a man's writer, that is, he may appeal more to men. (Though Zadie Smith and many other women love him.) I don't know, I don't know what the answer is.

***

I didn't have much time to read anything else this month, lol. I didn't try to read a book from my teak bookcase. Maybe another year. I read a book from the library called A Revolver to Carry at Night by Monika Zgustova, which was sort of a fictionalized account of the relationship between Nabokov and his wife Vera. That was mildly interesting, but I think I'm done with the Nabokovs for now.

For poetry, I bought a complete works of Pushkin, but I plan to read it slowly and gradually.

I also started reading a biography of Florence Harding, and am now completely baffled by it. I plan to spend the last few days of the month trying to read it. Not much else to do -- it's so hot and yucky this week.

***

In July, I have decided to challenge myself again -- it's summer, might as well. I am going to explore the works of the Brazilian (Ukrainian, Jewish) writer Clarice Lispector, who was born in 1920, so about my mother's age. I'm always seeing references to her work, but I've never read her, never even seen one of her books sitting on a library shelf. It turns out our library does own some of her books, and I've requested another from Prospector. We'll see -- this is a complete shot in the dark.

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Walking in June

I'm sure I've already mentioned that Teen B is taking another PE class this summer, even though I swore last summer that we would never do this again. Aerobic Walking, it's called, as opposed to Anaerobic Walking? (walking while holding your breath?) Anyway, he has to walk 10 miles a week, and I'm doing it with him. 

Some weeks we have to do a special kind of walk. Last week we had to do a 5K, which is 3.1 miles (the miles count toward your 10 mile total for the week). We were going to walk around the track at Manhattan Middle School 12 times, but then Rocket Boy had the bright idea that we should walk the Bobolink Trail (i.e., the South Boulder Creek trail near the Bobolink Trailhead) instead. It would be more interesting, and we'd only have to walk it maybe 2.5 times, back and forth. So I drove to the East Boulder Rec Center, parked near the west entrance to the trail, and we started walking. 

Our first indication that something was wrong came early: part of the trail was underwater. But only about 10 feet of it, and the water wasn't deep, so we walked through it and continued on. But then we hit the mosquitos. The trail runs alongside a creek, hence its name, and we were walking at about 7-7:30 pm, and the trail was just alive. Mosquitos love me with all their little hearts, so, yeah. Periodically, Teen B would shout, "Mom! You're covered with bugs!" I just kept slapping away. 

We gave up at about 2.7 miles, just couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't that we were too tired -- we were tired of mosquitos. (Also, Teen B insisted on doing the 5K in flip flops, so he had a blister.) We walked back to the car, but then I got the bright idea that we could walk around the rec center, walk over to the playground, the tennis courts, anything to get to 3.1 miles. We finally gave up at 2.95 miles, so he didn't get full credit, but it was something. And when we got home I tried to count my mosquito bits, but it was impossible. At LEAST 50 bites, probably more. All over both arms, my neck, a few on my legs. Teen B had 2 or 3. He obviously doesn't have Type O blood (mosquitos' dream food). Just think of how many baby mosquitos hatched from all those mama mosquito blood meals.

This week we had to do a hike -- meaning, walk for at least 1 hour (no mileage requirement). Since we're starting another heat wave today it would have been good to do the hike yesterday. But yesterday was the day after my Mounjaro shot (I take them on Friday nights), and I'm very tired after the shot and not really up to a hike. So we did it this morning.

We wanted a COOL hike, in the trees, not out in full sunlight, and also not near any CREEKS. So I thought of a couple of possibilities, but the one that appealed to me the most was the Shanahan Ridge trail, because we didn't have to drive to it -- we could take the Skip bus line, which goes right by the trailhead. The only problem was that there are multiple trailheads quite near each other -- how could we be sure we were on the right one? Well, they all interconnect, right? It will be fine.

So this morning after I finally dragged myself out of bed and had breakfast, we caught the Skip at about 10:45 (we almost missed it). And we rode it to the stop at Greenbriar & Smuggler Way, where I saw a trailhead sign out the window. "Let's get off here," I told Teen B, so we did.

"This isn't in the trees," he pointed out, as we studied the trailhead sign. Greenbriar Connector, it said. I didn't remember any trails called that, but I figured it would work anyway. "We'll get to the trees soon," I promised, and we started out. It was probably around 90 degrees (it's 95 now), with a slight breeze, which did help.

Long story short, we never got to any trees. (Though the wildflowers were plentiful, and we saw/heard meadowlarks and saw fritillary butterflies.) The Greenbriar Connector trail connects with the Lower Big Bluestem Trail, which EVENTUALLY connects to the Bluestem Connector trail, which connects to the Shanahan South Fork Trail, which would have gotten us back to a bus stop. But we didn't see that on our phones, and the map I'd printed out didn't show any of this, because it was a map of a different trail. So we walked for 1.13 miles and then turned around and walked back, for a total of 2.26 miles in 1.07 hours. It's fine. We did the assignment.

But if we'd stayed on the bus for ONE more stop, we would have gotten to the right trailhead. I saw it when the bus came around to pick us up and we rode on past it. Live and learn.

***

Walking 10 miles a week is very good for me, I'm sure, but it is challenging. For Teen B, the issue is that he finds the walks boring, but for me it's all about fatigue. The Mounjaro is causing fewer GI side effects now, which is great, but it makes me so tired. I make a to-do list every morning, like always, but by evening I find that I've only done a few things on it. I can't even seem to get through my regular morning routine, much less get anything else done. We have a stack of thank-you notes ready to write, but I can't seem to get myself to address the envelopes. Mostly I lie on my bed and read, with short nap breaks here and there.

And then in the evening take a walk!

I thought I'd record my weight loss in the blog, just for general interest. I've lost a few pounds so far, nothing dramatic.

Starting weight (Sunday, June 9 -- the day after we got home from our trip): 258.8 lbs.

After 2 days on Mounjaro (June 16): 255.2 lbs.

After 9 days on MJ (June 23): 252.4 lbs.

I'm not sure I've actually lost 6.4 pounds. My weight goes up and down. Perhaps a better starting weight would be what I weighed on Friday, June 14th, when I took my first shot: 254.6. If I use that, I've only lost 2.2 pounds. 

Whatever. It doesn't seem to be a miracle weight loss drug, but the scale is going down -- and I really like thinking about what it's doing to my A1c level. I'm looking forward to being in the 240s again. I realize that most people in the world would think these numbers were nightmarish, but it's my reality.

Oh, I never mentioned the bone scan that I had done the week after we got back from our trip. I first had a bone scan 3 years ago, after I was diagnosed with hypercalcemia and before I had my parathyroid surgery. The first scan showed mild osteopenia, so then of course we had to re-do it to see how I'm doing. The results showed that my bones have improved a little, but one number is still bad -- my T-score for my Left Hip: Neck (whatever that means) is -1.3, and you want to be -1 or better. All the other scores are fine (AP Lumbar Spine: -0.1; AP Left Hip Total: 0.7; AP Right Hip Neck: -0.8; AP Right Hip Total: 0.8.

OK, I thought, back on the calcium. I had stopped taking calcium several months ago, after my endocrinologist said I didn't need to, that my dietary calcium was enough. But now I've added one calcium tablet each evening. Can't hurt. And of course, weight-bearing exercise, such as, ahem, WALKING 10 MILES A WEEK.

***

What else has happened recently? Teen A passed his driving test on Thursday and on Friday I did the online paperwork to get him a real license. It won't come for a while, and I haven't gotten things straightened out with our insurance yet, so for now he's not driving. Very different from when I was a teenager! People who got their licenses immediately went out and drove somewhere. But Teen A's attitude is: "I've got it, now I don't have to worry about driving anymore." Sigh.

Teen B still has a long way to go to get his license, but he's working on it. He has 26 hours and 46 minutes of driving time (out of the 50 needed). He's added 71 minutes since we got back from our trip, and he added one hour and 9 minutes on the trip. He'll get there. (The photo shows the chocolate pie that Rocket Boy got while he was here and put a green 75 on, to show that the twins had driven 75 hours. It'll be 100 someday.)

We finally switched our phone service from Ting to Mint Mobile, after stewing about it for months. Switching was complicated, and I feel like I didn't do it quite right, but it's OK, we're all on the new service, everybody's phone works, we're fine. Rocket Boy and I were on a pay-as-you-go plan for years, and it had gotten irritating -- every month trying not to use minutes and then using too many and having the bill be higher than the month before, etc. Now we have a flat rate, no surprises. It will actually be a lot cheaper. The Ting plan worked well when we didn't use our phones much, but it's a whole new world now.

We got the new car titled and registered, but we had to get a temporary license plate because we decided to get a pretty 150th anniversary plate that says "The Centennial State" on it -- for no extra charge -- and those have to be mailed to you.

We didn't do anything for Juneteenth. I'm not sure what you're supposed to do, other than maybe have a barbecue. It's still a nice remembrance kind of day.

This coming week -- what? It's the last week of June and we have absolutely nothing on the calendar (though I'll probably get a call from the eye doctor to say that Teen B's glasses are ready). I think mainly we'll take it easy, try to stay cool. Teen B and I will continue to go on walks, of course. To get to 10 miles a week we have to average 1.43 miles a day, and we didn't walk yesterday, so we're behind, despite the longer hike today.

I really need to go to the nursery and get more plants. I keep putting it on my list and then not doing it. The few plants I got last week and planted are lonely! Plus, summer only lasts a couple more months and then we start getting freezes. I really should get everything planted by the end of June. I'll try.

Tomorrow's high is supposed to be 95, Tuesday also 95, Wednesday 94, Thursday 91, Friday 89. A hot week for those of us without air conditioning. But it's a (fairly) dry heat. I wish it would rain!

Sunday, June 16, 2024

Surviving summer

So we are back home, it's Father's Day but Rocket Boy is back in St. Louis (hopefully for only a few more months), and it is summer. Summer summer summer -- OK, technically it won't be summer for a few more days, but come on. It's summer. Incidentally, Rocket Boy and I met on Father's Day in 2000, 24 years ago.

Last year, June was cool and rainy, and the whole summer was quite bearable. This year, not so much. When we got back from vacation you could tell it hadn't rained much, if at all, while we were gone. We mowed (I mowed) the front lawn a few days before we left and I was afraid we'd come home to a jungle again. But only the weeds were taller. The grass looked like it had gone to sleep. 

Since then, we've had a few tiny thunderstorms, but not a good soaking rain. And it's hot. Three of the last five days have been in the 90s. The "heat dome" has moved on east, so we don't have that anymore, but it's still supposed to get to 90 today (so far it's only 77 -- but it's 96 in St. Louis, poor Rocket Boy). I haven't quite adjusted to the heat yet, so I'm just dragging myself around.

The other problem is that I finally took my first shot of Mounjaro, the diabetes/weight loss drug that is supposed to transform my life. Hmm. Its effects started almost immediately (I took it Friday night before bed). A nasty taste in my mouth, nausea, fatigue, feeling like I'm going to keel over but never quite doing it. No vomiting yet, just this really unpleasant feeling. And instead of having my hunger curbed, I find myself wanting to eat because of the bad taste in my mouth. Oh, and awful stomach cramps yesterday, though no diarrhea, yet. And no weight loss, but it's early. But today is better than yesterday, and I hope the rest of the week will gradually improve. I've committed myself to the first month of it at least, so that means 3 more shots. After that I'll see. 

The first night after the shot I dreamed that we still had our old dog Molly, but that I had forgotten to feed her -- for perhaps years (she died in November 2007). She was very skinny, chained up in the backyard, but ate and drank happily when I finally remembered her. Then last night I dreamed that we still had my old cat Edward, but that I had forgotten to feed HER -- she died in May 2007. I suppose it's just a coincidence that I would dream these things after starting Mounjaro.

***

I'm trying to remember what we did this past week. First of all, Rocket Boy was supposed to fly back to St. Louis on Monday, but he had a job interview that morning, plus another (in-person) job interview popped up for Tuesday, so he didn't fly back until Wednesday. All the time that he wasn't having job interviews, he was working on our stupid bathroom door! The door was delivered on Monday during his interview, but he realized that he needed to stain it, so he got to work on that. And then, even though the old door had been carefully measured, the new door didn't QUITE fit, so he had to make little adjustments to it until it did. And then there was the mirror, which ended up being extremely hard to put on. I think it was maybe an hour before we left for the airport on Wednesday that he finally finished hanging it. It still is just a TINY bit off -- it opens and closes just a little bit funny -- but it opens and closes, and that's what we needed. 

So, the door broke on March 22nd and the new door was finally in place on June 12th.

It took me a while to get back into housewife mode -- maybe I'm still not there. I didn't do any cleaning last week other than laundry and dishes and unpacking. We ate out Sunday, I think I cooked on Monday, we ate out again on Tuesday, I forget what we did Wednesday, the kids and I ate out Thursday, I cooked on Friday, and we ate out Saturday. Something like that. I'm planning to cook today, but I have to admit it's already 1:50 and I haven't thought of anything to make. Teen B and I have to do a 5K walk today (for his PE class) and we thought we'd start that around 7 pm, which means dinner has to be earlier. Hmm.

We're adjusting to having a new car. Both the new car (blue) and my old car (red) fit very nicely on the driveway, so that's good. When Rocket Boy moves back, he will have to park on the street until he faces reality and agrees to get rid of his dad's old Montero. We had some testy discussions of that while he was here. I wanted him to fill out the paperwork to donate it to NPR, but he waved me away, saying he was too busy. He also told me he was hoping to go "jeeping" in the Montero again someday. Since the Montero doesn't start unless you put it on the charger for a long time, and the last time he tried it wouldn't start at all, and if you do manage to get it charged, it doesn't stay charged very long, I think taking it "jeeping" in the mountains somewhere would be a really bad idea. But I know my husband, and letting go of his dad's car will be hard for him, so this may take time.

This little conflict reminds me of something that was abundantly clear during the past week we spent together. Rocket Boy and I got along fabulously on the traveling part of the trip. We've always traveled happily together and we still do. But as soon as we got home, the bickering started. I've gotten used to being in charge around our house and I do not like Rocket Boy coming home and imposing his own rules. It's going to be a real challenge when he moves back for good. I hope it's a challenge we're up to, but if not, there's always couples counseling, family counseling, all that.

Teen A reached 50 hours of driving during the trip, so he is scheduled to take his driving test on Thursday. Teen B is taking a more leisurely approach to this driving business, so we'll keep working on his hours this summer. I got the bright idea that we could drive up to NCAR in the evenings before bedtime several nights a week, so that he can get his nighttime hours done (they have to have 10 hours and he only has 1.5). We did that on Friday night and he drove for 20 minutes. However, we also almost ran into a deer (that's why it took us 20 minutes -- he drove very, very slowly after that). Running into deer at night is business as usual in Colorado, so it was a good experience for him, but it kind of spooked me. Interestingly, he chose the new blue car for his drive. Both boys prefer the blue car to the red car, but I'm more comfortable in the red car -- except on the highway, when the blue car wins.

Other achievements this week: Teen B finally opened a bank account! Teen A took this step back in December, I think it was (and has already almost emptied his account), but Teen B wasn't ready until now. He had something like $800 in cash lying around at home, so it was about time. It's interesting to me the way the boys gradually reach the various milestones, whether or not I push them. I'm learning to back off. I make suggestions, but mostly I wait until they're ready. Rocket Boy doesn't understand that approach, so I will have to try to help him with it when he moves back.

I still haven't planted anything! I feel terrible about that, and I think it is (part of?) the reason no hummingbirds are coming to our feeders. On Tuesday Rocket Boy and I went to the pop-up florist behind our grocery store and bought a tomato, some herbs, and some flowers -- I'll buy more later, but this is a start. But I haven't planted them yet! And they're all starting to die! I watered them once, but they should be watered at least every other day.

OK, now it's 3:16 pm and all the flowers and herbs and the tomato are planted. Some of them look better than others. The basil perked right up as soon as it was watered, but the lobelia are pretty sad. They may not make it, but I can always buy more. I've got room for quite a few more flowers -- one window box is completely empty, one is half full, and then there are lots of empty pots. So I'll be able to amuse myself buying flowers for a few weeks.  

Teen A and Teen B helped a tiny bit with the planting (sort of). Teen B attached the hose -- that's how late we are with everything this year -- we still hadn't reattached the hoses after winter. Teen A came out, looked at the front yard, complained about the dormant grass, looked for the spray nozzle but couldn't find it, and finally ended up standing with his finger on the regular nozzle, creating a spray over the lawn, for about 15 minutes. He also, crossly, took his finger off the nozzle for a minute so that I could fill up my watering can. It was not really the right time of day to water the lawn, but I was so pleased to have him doing anything that I didn't say a word.

I got very nauseated while doing the planting. I think this is going to be a quiet summer for me. I'll try to do yardwork, but it's going to be minimal. Reading and writing, my favorite things to do anyway, are probably going to be my main activities.

Yesterday, Teen B and I went to see "Inside Out 2" at the movie theater. It's not as good as the original, but it still has some very funny parts. One reviewer I read said she didn't cry at this one, but I did, actually, very embarrassing. Fortunately I had a handkerchief in my pocket. There are four new emotions in this movie: Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and Ennui, who was our favorite. (Oh, and Nostalgia, played by June Squibb, makes a brief appearance.) Teen A mostly functions on two emotions: Anger and Ennui. Ever since we got back from the movie, Teen B and I have been calling him out on it. "Ennui!" we shout, whenever Teen A says something to indicate he's too bored to be bothered. It annoys him, but he also laughs, as though he agrees with us. And yes, I know I'll have to drop this soon, but it is funny for now.

So, the week ahead. Tomorrow (Monday) I have an appointment to get the car titled and pick up our new Colorado license plates. Tuesday, Teen B has an eye appointment, and the book group meets. And Thursday is Teen A's driving test, so we'll probably do some practicing on Wednesday. Oh, and we're also switching our cell phone service, so we'll have to make that happen this week. I had to mail Rocket Boy his new SIM card -- I think he'll get it Tuesday, and then we can do the final steps. I hate doing anything technical like this -- I don't understand it, I don't want to understand it, I want somebody else to do it for me -- but I'm sure it will be OK.

And there's Juneteenth on Wednesday, and the first official day of summer on Thursday. Summer summer summer...

Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Back from vacation (part 2)

OK, here we are again. Rocket Boy has gone back to Missouri and the twins and I are taking a collective deep breath and looking ahead to what's left of the summer. I still really want to write all about our vacation, so I'll try to do it in this post. This blog has become my memory -- I refer to it for information about anything that's happened to us in the last 15 years.

Visiting relatives in Lake County (May 30-June 1)

So, Thursday, May 30th, driving north. I took the first turn, driving, because I didn't want to have to direct Teen A along 19th Avenue, across the Golden Gate Bridge, etc. The new car, a Toyota Prius v, is very easy to drive, so I did OK. 19th Avenue was ungodly awful, but we made it through. When we got to Santa Rosa, I found a Starbucks (I had looked it up online earlier) and we stopped there for lunch.

And after Santa Rosa, Teen A took over the driving, with me (and my phone) as the navigator. The car has a built-in navigation system, but we hadn't figured out how to use it yet. The thing is, the drive from Santa Rosa to my cousin's home on Cobb Mountain is NOT easy. Lots of winding roads with other drivers just zooming along. But he made it, no issues. I was impressed.

I found out later that my sister Barbara had suggested we spend a few days at Cobb so that we'd have a chance to come down with Covid (if we'd caught it on the plane) before coming to her house and giving it to everyone. It was a good plan, if not really fair to the cousins in Cobb. But we didn't come down with anything on the whole trip, so it was a moot point.

We arrived in Cobb around 3:30 in the afternoon on Thursday, were there all day Friday, and left around 9 am Saturday. I'd say the visit was mixed. I loved being on Cobb Mountain again -- hadn't been there since before my aunt and uncle died in 2008/09. Before 2005, I think, but when? Hm... I just don't know. Anyway, all the times I was there, I'm not sure I ever set foot in my cousin's house (on the same property). But this time we spent all our time there. 

I'm quite fond of my cousin, so I enjoyed my time with her. Her husband was in Santa Cruz helping their son, but he came home Friday night, so we got to see him (I'm very fond of him too). And I got to know their grandson, who lives with them, and I was highly amused by him (he's in his 30s). They have an absolutely adorable dog, a Morkie (Maltese x Yorkie), and we all loved him.

But the twins were less amused by everything other than the dog. They had to sleep in a trailer, which had plenty of space and two comfortable beds, but no bathroom, and it was hot during the day and cold at night because they didn't close the windows. (I got to sleep in the guest room indoors.) The main problem, though, was this: NO WI-FI! That's how they're going to remember the visit to Brenda forever after. I didn't mind it -- I used some of my data and otherwise didn't use my phone as much as usual. I did a little reading -- I greatly enjoyed looking at Brenda's book collection, and admit that I thought about lifting a few books (but I didn't). I also suddenly had an idea for a short story and started writing it in a notebook. That might not have happened if I'd had wi-fi.

Mostly Brenda and I just talked and talked and talked. Oh, and watched "Jeopardy!" and the news (Trump's guilty verdict was the big story).

Teen B is taking a PE class this summer -- "Aerobic Walking" -- so he was willing to go on Brenda's usual hike with her on Friday, because it counted for the class. That was fun: the tiny dog is a very good hiker. We also took a walk around their property and saw some late wildflowers. Oh, and the twins discovered Brenda's ice cream bar collection (in her freezer) and decimated it.

But mainly the twins were very happy when Saturday morning came and we could drive back to the Bay Area. I let Teen A drive the whole way and he did very well.

Visiting relatives in Santa Clara County, June 1-5

The next four days were an endless parade of relatives, and I mean that in a good way. Saturday was a chance to get reacquainted with Barbara and her family at their lovely home in Los Altos. We had a late lunch there and then hung around in the front yard talking until it was time to get Chinese takeout for dinner. We had also had Chinese takeout with Brenda, but this was completely different food -- both meals were delicious. Oh, and we also took the dogs for a walk to the dog park. I somehow didn't manage to take a picture of Barbara's dog, but she is very pretty and enjoys the dog park. Nancy's bulldog had to stay outside the dog park, because bulldogs don't do dog parks well (too aggressive).

Then we followed Nancy and her bulldog home to Santa Clara. We had excellent accommodations there: the twins got the room with two beds and I got the guest room with a comfortable fold-down bed. And the wi-fi was just fine. Every morning Nancy made me oatmeal, which I ate with blueberries and blackberries and prunes -- so yummy. I enjoyed sitting in her husband's recliner (he was on a trip to France) and interacting with the bulldog. Oh, and I also got to watch some baseball!

Sunday the kids and I went to a Starbucks nearby -- because, you know, the Church of Starbucks and all that. We hung around the house, ate lunch there, and then drove out to Los Altos again to hang out with my niece Risa and her daughter Sophie who were up in the Bay Area visiting from Los Angeles. Again we all sat out in the front yard and talked for hours, before going inside to have delicious barbecue and salads.

Monday was a repeat of Sunday, except I think that was the day we went to a Barnes & Noble so I could get the book for the book group, we took another dog walk, and the guests were my cousin Bob and his wife Lynda, and the meal was pizza. But again, lots of talk, lots of reminiscing, good times. And a family picture, but we won't talk about that.

Tuesday we stayed at Nancy's and took the bulldog for a walk around the neighborhood. I also took Teen B out in the new car for a little while, to familiarize him with it in a non-scary setting. After dinner, Barbara and family arrived for dessert, and soon my nephew Daniel showed up (he was in town on a business trip). Then it was time to pick up Rocket Boy at the airport, and he got back in time to see everyone and have some dessert.

Visiting relatives and friends down south, June 5

On Wednesday we packed up the little car in preparation for the rest of the trip. Rocket Boy had brought FOUR pieces of luggage (the twins and I each had just two, a small black suitcase and a backpack), but the new car actually has a lot of storage space and we got everything in, plus all the leftover drinks and chips that my sisters had bought for us that we hadn't consumed. We got on the road early, around 9:30 I think, which is fairly amazing for us.

Our first stop that day was San Luis Obispo, where we had lunch with my father's cousin Marina and her husband Gabor. They are getting ready to move into a retirement community, so their house was in an uproar, boxes and mostly-empty shelves everywhere. 

We picked up takeout lunch for all of us at a sandwich shop near them called Capriotti's -- my expectations for it were low, but the food was very good. Rocket Boy and I had jointly planned to eat only salads (in restaurants) on this trip, and this was my first chance to do that. I had their Balsamic Chicken Salad and it was SO delicious. Teen B frowned at the menu, never a good sign, but the guy behind the counter was waiting, and there was a line behind us, and finally I just said "How about the Chicken Chipotle Crunch," and fortunately he agreed. Later he said to me, "That was a really good sandwich." I would definitely go back to that restaurant, though the closest one to us is in south Denver.

I should note that we were very lucky with weather on this trip. It was a little warm in Lake County, but not too bad, and the weather was basically perfect in the Bay Area until our last full day there, when it warmed up a bit. The day we left, June 5, it got hot, but San Luis Obispo is cooler than the areas around it, so the weather was delightful for sitting in the garden, and it gave us one last chance to admire their beautiful flowers.

We were extremely pressed for time on this visit, so it was very short -- maybe an hour? Hour and a half? It seemed ridiculous not to have allowed more time -- they're so old! when will we see them again! -- but they didn't have much time to give us either, what with needing to pack. Before I'd even finished my salad, Teen A was whispering to me: "We need to GO, Mom." I ignored him as long as I could. Finally we took a very funny group picture -- we were under a low-hanging tree, so different people's faces are covered with branches -- and got on our way.

Teen A had driven most of the way to San Luis Obispo, but I asked Rocket Boy to take over for the drive to the San Fernando Valley, because LA traffic is so awful. We got into a horrid traffic jam in Santa Barbara and didn't get to his cousin June's house until close to 7 pm. We weren't sure if his relatives would want to eat out or what, but it turned out that June's daughter Kristi had made a lovely charcuterie tray which we feasted on, and then she'd gotten a box of miniature bundt cakes for dessert (the rest of which she sent with us). So that was wonderful -- no need to deal with any traffic for a little while.

These relatives had a dog too -- our fourth dog of the trip! An aging, overweight, recently-gone-deaf black lab named Daisy Mae -- such a sweet girl. I didn't think to take a picture, so you'll just have to imagine her.

Speaking of overweight, June's son-in-law, who has always been a big guy, had become even bigger since we'd last seen him (10 years ago?). And in the weird way these things work, the moment I saw him, I relaxed. I didn't have to be the fattest person in the room. I could let that anxiety go. He's tall, too, maybe 6'4"? so his BMI may be similar to mine, but because he's so tall I knew he weighed more than me. And that was all it took to make me feel at ease. The whole hour or so we were there I felt comfortable and accepted.

I know that's nuts. What can I say -- everything to do with weight is nuts.

Maybe my enormous weight made someone else on the trip feel better about themselves. That would be nice, if true.

In some ways, this trip was an excursion through the various types of mild cognitive impairment. Rocket Boy and I have this. I can't remember lots of facts -- when I try to come up with something I should know, my mind is a blank wall. I also have trouble with word retrieval when I'm talking, though not so much when I'm writing. Rocket Boy remembers all facts about everything, but he forgets interactions and relationships. My cousin Brenda has trouble with memory loss and retrieval -- she told me things over and over and asked me the same question multiple times -- but is otherwise totally on top of things, cooks and drives and keeps house, no problem with any of that. One of the San Luis Obispo relatives, in his 90s, had one tiny slip -- he forgot where we lived -- but was otherwise totally sharp. 

But RB's cousin June has real dementia. Her daughter had told us this, but I think neither of us had believed it. But sitting there in her old recliner, looking weirdly withered, she told us that she'd seen her parents recently (she's 89 -- they've been dead for decades), that she lived somewhere else (she's lived in that house for over 30 years), that she would be going back to her "real house" soon, that she'd recently visited San Francisco with friends (she hasn't gone anywhere except the doctor in years), and so on. She confused Rocket Boy with his father (her uncle), who's been dead for 22 years. And so on. She wasn't completely out of it -- for example, she knew which highways to take to Santa Clarita, where our hotel for that night was -- but she kept slipping into confusion. It was so sad. That will probably be the last time we see her.

By 8 pm we were on the road again, with Rocket Boy driving the horrible LA freeways to Santa Clarita. I'd gotten a call from our Best Western while we were stuck in Santa Barbara traffic, and the person was very hard to hear, but she said something about how our room was flooded and they were moving us to the hotel next door, a Springfield Suites by Marriott. So we found the hotel and they had our reservation. The only disappointment was that their pool closed at 9, and we'd arrived at about 9:05.

Rocket Boy has an old friend, Chris, who lives near cousin June, and he and his wife had volunteered to meet us at our hotel in Santa Clarita so that we'd have a chance to see them. So after we got the twins settled in the hotel room (with the wi-fi password), we went down to an outdoor courtyard next to the pool and spent an hour or so talking to these old friends. This was a nice ending to the day -- but we were highly annoyed to see that the pool did NOT close at 9 -- there were kids in there until after 10. I complained to the management later.

Revisiting Ridgecrest and Death Valley, June 6

Thursday was a trip down memory lane for Rocket Boy and me -- not so much for the twins, who were only five years old when we left Ridgecrest. As soon as we got onto Highway 14 heading north we started reminiscing about the four years we spent in the desert, and we just didn't quit. We'd forgotten a lot, but it gradually came back. My phone wanted us to go all the way to Highway 178 and take that east to Inyokern and then down to Ridgecrest, but I knew that wasn't right -- wasn't there another road? The GPS wasn't showing one. But here came something familiar: oh! Jawbone Canyon! where Mr. Bob the tortoise lives! (we didn't stop to see if he still does). And here's the road I was thinking of: the Redrock-Randsburg Road, which leads to the Garlock Road, which leads to 395, which leads to Ridgecrest. Oh, I remember, we said over and over again.

Ridgecrest had changed in some ways -- stores had opened, stores had closed -- but it looked very much the same. We visited our old houses, both of which had changed a lot, but were still recognizable. I was glad to see that they both appeared to be occupied. We ate lunch at Kristy's, a restaurant where the twins had misbehaved many many times (I had a salad). We drove past their old daycare/preschool. We forgot to go to any of the old parks we used to frequent, but since it was almost 110 degrees, that might have been for the best. (Southern California and the desert in general were under a heat dome that day -- which seemed appropriate to us, so we didn't mind it.)

We did go to the Maturango Museum, which was one of our favorite haunts from way back when. We spent an enormous amount of money at the gift shop -- the equivalent of a night's stay at a hotel. Both kids wanted t-shirts, I found a book we didn't have (we have a large collection of Ridgecrest books, but this one had been published recently), and best of all, they had a cat blanket (i.e., a throw) with a map of the area printed on it. I think that might have cost $80! It didn't matter. It's now covering our loveseat in our living room.

I knew that a tortoise habitat had been constructed on the museum grounds since we were last there, so we went looking for that, despite the heat. It was lovely, but of course no tortoises were in evidence. And then suddenly I saw a head at the entrance to a burrow. It was a tortoise! "Oh, hello!" I called to it, so happy to see it. It came out, looked around (obviously expecting to be fed), and then turned around and went down again. That made the trip perfect. I was so happy.

We got gas and beverages at a mini-mart and headed east. We'd told the twins about Trona, so they were interested to see it, but the pinnacles were too far away to make much of an impression. I'll have to get that Star Trek movie from the library, the one where they're climbing all over the pinnacles. I'd told the kids the story about when Barbara and Nancy came to visit us and we took them to the pinnacles and Barbara said something like, "This is the middle of nowhere," and I said, "But you can see Trona. It's not the middle of nowhere if you can see a town," and Barbara said, "Trona is not a town!" Actually Trona looked fairly townlike to RB and me, but the twins agreed with their aunt.

We continued on into the beautiful Panamint Valley, and it got hotter and hotter. I think we were in Death Valley proper when Teen B agreed to do some driving, and he ended up driving for an hour, at which point Teen A took over. Death Valley did not seem as beautiful to me as I remembered, because it was so hot and there wasn't the contrast between the rocks and the sky that you get when it's cooler. It was 122 degrees that day (see dashboard display, on the lower left), the hottest June 6th in Death Valley ever. But it was still beautiful.

We stopped in Stovepipe Wells to buy Teen A another shirt (I think he was a little jealous of Teen B, who has several National Park t-shirts in his wardrobe). It was quite amazing to be walking around in 122 degree heat. A little further on, Rocket Boy wanted to explore something he'd read about, an unmarked grave, so I stopped the car but left it on (with the air conditioning also on) while he explored. It doesn't look that hot, does it? Believe me, it was.

And then we got lost, as one often does in Death Valley, but we stopped and asked directions (and then got lost again) and finally got on the road to Pahrump, where we spent the night. We had more Chinese food at a buffet and then swam in the hotel pool, quite the nicest of the trip.

The rest of the trip, June 7-8

The last two days of the trip were a definite anticlimax, despite the dramatic scenery. On Friday we drove from Pahrump, Nevada, through the nightmare that is Las Vegas, across a little section of Arizona, and then ALL the way across Utah to I-70 and finally to Colorado. I did the first half of the driving and Rocket Boy drove after lunch, which we ate at the Black Bear Diner in St. George, Utah. Just over the border in Colorado we stopped at our hotel in Fruita, very relieved to be back in our own state.  We had dinner at a funny little place that served pizza and burgers and snacks. I had a small garden salad and a chocolate milkshake, Teen B had fried mushrooms and a peach milkshake, Rocket Boy had a veggie burger and water, and Teen A just had a butterscotch milkshake.

Saturday, we got up a little late, having lost an hour the day before (and I didn't sleep well that night), and got on the road around 10 or so. We drove to a little German-ish restaurant in Glenwood Springs called Rosi's and had lunch there. The kids thought it was too early for lunch, but the restaurant was so slow that by the time we got our food we'd been there about an hour, and everyone was hungry. The food was yummy (I had crepes, Teen B had jagerschnitzel) and they gave us a large pastry to take home as an apology for their slowness. I had two cups of delicious coffee (I normally don't drink coffee), hoping it would wake me up, but it didn't.

Rocket Boy drove the rest of the way home because I was too sleepy. We got home around 3:30, I think, and the cats were really puzzled by our arrival, as they always are after we go away. But they both tried to sleep on the bed with me that night, and when the cat-sitters arrived a couple days later to get their money, the cats appeared to have forgotten them. Cats are such odd creatures.

I'm disappointed with how few pictures I took on this trip -- normally I'm much better about documenting our travels. Maybe it was because I didn't want to get IN any pictures. I don't know. But I think I will remember the trip regardless (the blog will help). I'm so so so glad we did this, despite all my stupid anxieties. It was a great thing to have done. And I hope we will go back before another six years go by.

Sunday, June 9, 2024

Back from vacation (part 1)

We are back! and what an amazing vacation trip it was. I'm still processing it -- probably writing it all down will help me get there.

We achieved the main goals of the trip: (1) we got my little sister's car and drove it all the way back to Colorado without incident; (2) we saw a LOT of relatives; (3) and we visited Ridgecrest and Death Valley. Those were the main things we wanted to do. So much fun.

As I expected, I was devastated by my weight and my braces. The weight was the worst, but the braces did not help. After one meal, when we were preparing to take a family photo, I saw my cousin's wife checking her teeth in a little mirror. I thought, oh, I wish I had a little mirror to check my teeth, and then I thought, maybe I don't want to know. Every meal, every snack, there I am with my finger in my mouth, trying to dislodge the worst of it. Sometimes I pulled out a little flosser thing and used that, but that's not really polite to do when you're sitting with people. But is sticking your finger in your mouth polite? No, and yet often I needed to dislodge some food to be able to go on eating. Probably I should have excused myself at the end of each meal (and maybe halfway through as well) and gone to the bathroom to work on my teeth. But that's so disruptive. And what about the conversation during the meal? Oh well.

But my weight. It was awful. We currently have only one full-length mirror in our little house, tucked into a corner in the kids' room. The mirror that used to be on the old bathroom door is under our bed... so I honestly didn't know what I looked like. This changed on the trip, partly with the hotel rooms, but especially the four nights we stayed at my sister's. Her guest room has a big full-length mirror -- mirrored closet doors maybe it was. Every morning, getting dressed, I would look at my body in horror. Not a good way to start the day.

Our last family visit on the trip, to Rocket Boy's cousin in the San Fernando Valley, was the only time I didn't feel enormous, because his cousin's son-in-law has put on a lot of weight. I'll talk more about that when I get to that point in the story.

I tried really really really hard not to let my anxiety about my looks control my interactions with people. Not one person said a single thing about my weight, so most of the time I didn't mention it either. I did talk at one meal about how I was going to go home and start taking Mounjaro, but I think that was it. I didn't want to be in any family pictures, but I didn't say that, I just got in the picture. I didn't look at them afterwards, if I could avoid doing so. But I just felt so much shame.

I kept telling myself, it doesn't matter what you look like, it doesn't matter that you're fat, you're not here to look beautiful, you're here to see these relatives and enjoy their company, stop making it about you. There were times when I had to run those words in my mind over and over and over just to keep from running out of the room, driving away, maybe over a cliff.

It's all so nuts.

Well, anyway.

***

Wednesday, May 29th. The kids and I caught the 9:36 AB-1 bus to the airport. Our Southwest flight was on time to start, but then things went wrong. Gusty winds at the airport caused all flights to be delayed, and we sat around on the tarmac for two hours. But, you know, it wasn't anybody's fault and there was nothing anyone could do, so I didn't get upset about it. After two hours we finally took off and the winds were still pretty darn gusty. We had to stop in Ontario, but not change planes, so we didn't have the problem of making a connecting flight. Everyone got off except us, and we got to move to the front of the plane to sit together. We learned, however, that the front of the plane is a very serious place (full of boring rich people and businessmen), and we were the only ones cracking jokes and laughing loudly.

At the San Jose airport, my sister Nancy and her husband Rick picked us up in the car that was about to become ours, and we discovered that the righthand rear seatbelt didn't work! Great distress all around (since that is Teen B's preferred place to sit), but Rick drove carefully and there was no problem. We picked up delicious takeout from the Athena Grill in Santa Clara and took it back to their house to eat.

Then we were given a brief lesson on how to drive the new car and we drove it off to our hotel (with Teen B in the rear middle seat), that was practically walking distance from their house. It was a Holiday Inn Express & Suites, and we had a room with 2 queens and a sofabed. I took the sofabed, since the kids were going to have to sleep on one in two other hotels, and it was really comfortable and I had a great night's sleep. The only downside to the hotel was that the outdoor pool wasn't heated. We waded in it, but it was really too cold for swimming.

The next morning we ate a good free breakfast in the hotel and started driving our new car north to Lake County to visit my cousin Brenda.

I'm going to pause here and think a little bit about the costs of the trip. All breakfasts were free, either in hotels or with family members, so I'll leave them off the list. Rocket Boy of course also had plane fare, but he paid that, so I'll leave it off the list. This is everything else I can remember (with a little help from my credit card statement). The things I paid for are in red; the things that family members covered are in blue.

  • one-way airplane tickets for the 3 of us -- $400.44 (very cheap)
  • 5/29 bus fare to the airport (mom only, kids are free) -- $10
  • 5/29 tip for driver -- $5
  • 5/29 Starbucks at the airport -- $27.54
  • 5/29 Mediterranean takeout at Nancy's
  • 5/29 full tank of gas already in the car
  • 5/29 hotel (Holiday Inn & Suites) in Santa Clara -- $196.26

  • 5/30 tip for maid -- $5
  • 5/30 Starbucks for lunch in Santa Rosa -- $50.80
  • 5/30 dinner at Brenda's (lasagna)
  • 5/30 stayed the night at Brenda's
  •  
  • 5/31 lunch at Brenda's
  • 5/31 Chinese takeout w/Brenda -- about $80 (I paid cash)
  • 5/31 stayed the night at Brenda's
  •  
  • 6/1 Starbucks for a break in Santa Rosa -- $30.65
  • 6/1 late lunch at Barbara's
  • 6/1 Chinese takeout at Barbara's
  • 6/1 stayed the night at Nancy's
  •  
  • 6/2 Starbucks (Sunday) in Santa Clara -- $25.40
  • 6/2 lunch at Nancy's
  • 6/2 dinner at Barbara's (barbecue)
  • 6/2 stayed the night at Nancy's
  •  
  • 6/3 lunch at Nancy's
  • 6/3 dinner at Barbara's (pizza)
  • 6/3 stayed the night at Nancy's
  •  
  • 6/4 got gas in Santa Clara -- $42.84
  • 6/4 lunch at Nancy's
  • 6/4 dinner at Nancy's (salmon)
  • 6/4 stayed the night at Nancy's
  •  
  • 6/5 takeout lunch from Capriotti's with Marina & Gabor -- $94.64
  • 6/5 got gas in San Luis Obispo -- $40 (paid cash)
  • 6/5 dinner at June's (charcuterie & bundt cakes)
  • 6/5 hotel (Springfield Suites) in Valencia/Santa Clarita -- $250
  •  
  • 6/6 tip for maid -- $5
  • 6/6 lunch at Kristy's in Ridgecrest -- $91.78
  • 6/6 souvenirs at the Maturango Museum in Ridgecrest -- $175.73
  • 6/6 got gas in Ridgecrest -- $27.74
  • 6/6 souvenirs at the Stovepipe Wells gift shop in Death Valley -- $41.99
  • 6/6 dinner at China Wok in Pahrump, NV -- $76.09
  • 6/6 hotel (Holiday Inn Express & Suites) in Pahrump -- $177.67
  •  
  • 6/7 tip for maid -- $10
  • 6/7 got gas in Pahrump -- $22.15
  • 6/7 lunch at Black Bear Diner in St. George, UT -- $75.94
  • 6/7 got gas in Richfield -- $30.33
  • 6/7 dinner at Munchies Pizza & Deli in Fruita, CO -- about $45 (paid cash)
  • 6/7 hotel (La Quinta) in Fruita -- $257.11
  •  
  • 6/8 tip for maid -- $10
  • 6/8 got gas in Fruita -- $20.30
  • 6/8 lunch at Rosi's Bavarian Restaurant in Glenwood Springs -- $77.42
  •  
  • 6/10 (probably) payment to catsitters ($15/visit x 20 visits) -- $300

So the total cost of the trip (roughly, not counting RB's ticket) was around $2700, and if you subtract the plane fares which I paid a month ago, and the cat sitters, it was around $2000. A lot of money, but just think what it would have been if we'd stayed in hotels every night and eaten every meal in a restaurant. Most of the meals, lunch or dinner, cost over $70, and the hotels averaged $220 a night, plus a tip for the maid. It would have been over $2000 more, easily. 

I should have tipped Nancy! and Brenda!

This has been a busy day with Rocket Boy here -- so many different things to work on together -- so now it's almost 11 pm and I've only described one day of the trip. I'll come back tomorrow, or later in the week, and write about more of the days. This is good for now.