January being January

I am so tired right now, I can't even think of a title for this post. It'll come to me. Doesn't have to be anything special.

I am tired because I was extremely tired last night, read for a little while and then just collapsed (at about 11:15?), but then woke up for good at 5 am. Just woke right up, wide awake, clearly no chance of going back to sleep. It was pitch black outside, so I went in the living room and played with my phone. I wanted to read my current book, but if you turn a light on in our kitchen or living room or dining room, it wakes other people up. I could have gone in the desk room and closed the door, but then the cats would have scratched at the door -- to come in, if they were out, and to go out, if they were in. It's hopeless. So I played with my phone.

It's OK. I read my book later in the morning, after Rocket Boy got up, ate breakfast, and then went back to bed. Eventually there was enough light coming in the window to read by.

You may be wondering, what was Rocket Boy doing, sleeping and eating and all that? Isn't he supposed to be in St. Louis? The answer is yes, he was supposed to be on his way to St. Louis, but January interfered. He was originally going to leave Friday, but we had a lot of (expensive) problems at our rental house and he stayed an extra day to manage that. Then he was going to leave yesterday, in fact did leave yesterday (the photo above was taken moments before he did), but I-70 around the Colorado/Kansas border was closed due to heavy snow and wrecks and whatnot, so he eventually turned around and came back.

So he left again today around 12 or so, maybe 12:30, and he'll probably get to St. Louis by Monday night. 

***

OK, now it's 10 pm, so I'll start again. I'm less tired now, having taken a 3-hour nap (5:30 to 8:30 pm). Not a good idea, but I was exhausted. Before I did that, I managed to plan the week's meals, go grocery shopping, and help Teen B with his math homework. He still needed help with German but that was it, I was done, couldn't keep my eyes open another minute.

When I finally got up again, I made pizza grilled cheese sandwiches (tomato sauce on one side, pesto on the other, fresh mozzarella in between, fried in a pan with olive oil) and then fed the cats and put the twins to bed. We did manage to finish Things That Are, so we've started a new book: Paper Towns by John Green. Rocket Boy heard the first couple of chapters before he left, and after each one he asked me, "What is this book about?" So I read him part of the blurb: coming-of-age story, love vs. friendship. It's obviously not the kind of thing he normally reads. Probably for the best that he'll miss most of it. I think the twins are kind of liking it, though. 

Oh, and RB called -- after dinner but before I started reading. He made it to Russell, Kansas, which is about 384 miles according to Google Maps. That's very good, considering he didn't leave until after noon. He'll do the rest (495 miles) tomorrow, lucky boy. He said the roads were completely clear, but there is a LOT of snow piled up alongside.

***

So now I'm sad. I know it'll lift, hopefully quickly, but right now things feel bleak. Oh January, how we love you.

This past week is kind of a blur. It snowed. I cooked dinner. The kids had Monday off, for Martin Luther King Jr. day, and then Wednesday off, for snow (we only got about 6 inches, so it was an unjustified snow day, but hey, we'll take it). Rocket Boy did a lot of last minute projects around the house, including replacing our old fluorescent light fixture in the kitchen with an LED one from McGuckin's. We did not realize that incandescent lightbulbs are finally going away entirely this summer. I wish I'd known -- I would have bought some while they were still in the stores. I know LED lights are good for the environment, but I don't like them.

But I was getting really tired of the fluorescent light in the kitchen, so an LED light is actually a big improvement there. The fluorescent light in the garage was also giving trouble -- I was having to do laundry mostly in the dark, with the light flickering on and off -- so on Friday, right before he left, Rocket Boy replaced that too. 

He's such a sweetie. He also, without consulting me, bought a milk glass shade on eBay to replace the one he broke on the lamp in the living room. (I figured we would spend months looking for one in thrift stores.) He paid for it out of his St. Louis credit union account, so I didn't have to budget for that. It arrived on Friday afternoon and he put it in place. So that was nice of him. As were all the other things he did.

We're dealing with a disaster over at the rental house -- a $1650 plumbing bill, for starters, and then who knows how much more money will be needed. Money we don't have because we spent it all on new bathroom tile and a new kitchen floor last fall. My goal to save money this year is becoming even more necessary. I'm starting to think of ways to earn money (without actually getting a job). For instance, selling stuff on craigslist or signing up for studies at CU. 

***

The only other thing I can remember doing this week, probably because it was only yesterday, was a Zoom call with my old Michigan friends and advisor. We do this every couple of months or so. It was a lovely call, as always. Our old advisor, in his 80s, participated only by phone because he'd somehow gotten his internet messed up by Google Workspace, so that was sad. But on the plus side, on this call there was an old friend of mine who I hadn't seen or heard in 30 years. That was really something. I mean, all these calls are really something, but I've gotten used to seeing the other people who I haven't seen in person for a long time. This particular friend is in Turkey, and I'd completely lost touch with her. I think the last time I heard from her was in 2008, when the twins were born. She sent a nice card. Maybe I sent her Christmas cards for a while after that -- I don't remember. It started to seem silly to send Christmas cards to a Muslim in Turkey. I hadn't seen her in person since 1993.

We used to be such good friends and it was just wonderful to see and hear her. The sound of her voice took me back. All of a sudden I was 32 again, not 62, hanging out with all my Ann Arbor buddies, spending our hard-earned (through TA-ing) money at coffee shops on State Street (everyone really liked lemon poppyseed muffins), getting together to work on our typology homework.

I was struck by something during the call: I seemed to be two different people. That is, two different sections of my brain were competing to be in charge. One section, the part of my brain that is very critical, was worried about (a) how fat I looked and how not to reveal that in the Zoom call, (b) how old I looked and how not to reveal that in the Zoom call, (c) how USELESS I am, not a professor, don't ever publish anything, spend all my time worrying about what to cook for dinner, (d) etc., etc. Another section, the part of my brain that loves people, was just thrilled to see everyone and wanted to convey my joy as much as possible. That part of my brain caused me to pick up the iPad and go running down the hall to show everyone my darling children and husband, and later a Christmas card from another (absent) friend. The critical part of my brain tried to hold the iPad so that my fatness wouldn't show. The people-loving brain couldn't stop smiling. The critical brain tried to adjust the iPad so my double chin wouldn't show during a smile.

When the call was over, the people-loving brain was so happy! and the critical brain was so unhappy!

Oh well. I guess I should be glad that the people-loving brain gets any time to be in control at all.

***

What does the week ahead hold? Tomorrow (Monday) I have to go to the orthodontist to get my wires out, the dentist to have my teeth cleaned, and the orthodontist again to have the wires put back in. That's no fun. 

My book group meets on Tuesday, via Zoom only, since two of the four members are not in town. I finished Jurassic Park a few days ago. Did not particularly like it, but made it through.

I finished my email cleanout -- yay -- got my inbox down to less than 1000 messages -- so for the rest of January I need a new project. The obvious one is taxes. Very few tax return documents have arrived yet, but I still have things I can do. I should put away the paperwork from 2020 and 2021, which is still lying around, and start sorting through 2022, looking for things to deduct. I think that will be my goal this week. It's also supposed to be part of my 1st-quarter goal, so that's good.

I also have a lot of reading to do. I'm on the third book from the five I chose from the pile by my nightstand. If I can finish it tomorrow, I'll try to read the last two in the last eight days of the month. Hmm. This reading goal is proving more challenging than I expected. It seems clear that the Classics Challenge is not going to happen this year -- I'm so sad -- so this is the only challenge I'll do. I've looked around at some of the other reading challenges online (there are many), but haven't found anything else that appeals. 

And I'll make dinner. Every night.

I guess that's about it. Time to take my shower and then start the dishwasher and go to bed. Without Rocket Boy.