Happy Christmas

It's Christmas Day, late in the day, so it's almost all over. The presents have been opened, the cat has climbed the Christmas tree and gotten tangled in the lights (but not knocked it over, because it's tied to the wall). Christmas dinner for us is leftovers from Christmas Eve, so there's nothing I need to prepare. Teen B just asked me to make him a cucumber sandwich, but I said no. I don't think I should have to make cucumber sandwiches on Christmas. Maybe that is the wrong attitude.

It has been quite a week. Last Sunday, Rocket Boy had just come home and we were getting ready to have our kitchen floor replaced on Monday. We pulled out the fridge and the stove, but we didn't take the dishwasher out until the men arrived, around 10 am. The first thing they did was rip out the old floor. 

RB isn't sure when the old floor was put in, maybe the 1970s. It had that vibe, mustard yellow. Underneath it was the old vinyl from 1955, an attractive (not) gray and black pattern. They didn't pull that up because it probably has asbestos under it. You can also see a bit of the old wall color behind where the dishwasher was, dark pink, next to the pale yellow that I chose. They had some crazy color combos back in the 1950s.

Then they put the new floor in. It's Marmoleum Click, the Caribbean pattern. This photo doesn't do it justice. It's absolutely lovely. Such a soft, pretty color. I like the feel of it under my feet, too. It has a cork backing and the whole thing is just so different from the old vinyl. Especially because the new floor doesn't have a big HOLE in the middle of it.

But then we had to put the kitchen back together. The guys put the fridge and dishwasher back, both incorrectly, but left the stove out. Rocket Boy was unfortunately at an appointment when this was happening, so he couldn't prevent it. Later he pulled the dishwasher out again so that he could put it in right. It turned out that he needed to get a new toe kick for under the sink, so that required a Home Depot run. Etc.

Somewhere in there I started feeling sick. Maybe Tuesday? I had a scratchy throat, a bit of a cough, some congestion. That went on for at least three days and then vanished, thank goodness. But for a while there I was worried.

I think it was Wednesday night when we finally ran the dishwasher for the first time since Saturday. Rocket Boy turned it on and went to take a shower. I lay in bed listening to the dishwasher and it didn't sound right.

When RB got out of the shower I told him that something was wrong. He disagreed. I said, "It sounds like there's no water in it." He poo-pooed that idea. Then he opened the dishwasher and looked in. "Oh, you're right," he said.

I should back up a minute. Wednesday was also the day that the "bomb cyclone" hit Boulder. All day long you could see the bank of clouds approaching from the north, but they moved very slowly. Finally around 5 pm the temperature started dropping. It went from about 38 down to, I think, 12, in maybe 15 minutes (I'm forgetting, but it was fast). Then it was down to zero. Then it kept going.

The next morning, Thursday, it was -18 on our front porch and 6-7 inches of snow had fallen. I had cancelled my haircut appointment and planned not to go anywhere for a few days. 

But there was the dishwasher problem. Rocket Boy figured out it was probably the water-sensing solenoid that had gone out (perhaps it didn't like being moved?), so he started calling plumbing supply places. The only store he could find that carried the part was in Parker, 50 miles south of here. Driving 50 miles in snowy, below-zero weather was unappealing, so instead he ordered the part and we'll pick it up at a store in Longmont on Tuesday.

So that meant we had to go on washing dishes by hand, but it wasn't the end of the world. The stove was back in place, so I could cook, and the fridge was back in place, so all was right with the world, more or less.

On Friday afternoon, we did venture out to do an errand (related to Christmas) and that was fairly exciting due to the snow and ice and cold. It was warmer by then -- it had been -18 on our front porch again that morning, but by afternoon it had gotten up to about 6. That's warmer than -18 but it's not WARM. I was very glad to get home.

We've been lighting the Hanukkah candles all week, and in the box with our hanukkiah we also keep three dreidls and a book about Hanukkah that explains (among other things) how to play dreidl. I had stashed some chocolate coins, so on Friday night when the kids started spinning the dreidls, I gave them a hint as to where to find the coins. This led to a major dreidl competition. Instead of reading the book, they made up names for the four symbols on the dreidls: penis (gimmel), W (shin), pi (hey), and cell phone (nun). Even after I picked up the book and showed them the right names, they kept using the made-up ones. It was fine. They're 14 -- everything is about penises and cell phones. 

As they played, I sat in my chair and watched them, almost nodding off. And then, weirdly, I began to be overcome by a great sadness. Not depression, sadness. I almost felt like I might start crying. It seemed so strange to me because nothing was wrong -- they were actually playing a game together, not fighting, having a good time. Very unusual. It might have been because I thought we might not have too many more times like this -- they're growing up, only a few more Christmases before they (perhaps) go out on their own. Maybe it had to do with my sister who died by suicide instead of going to a Hanukkah party, 17 years ago. Maybe it was something about the pain of the world, that's so hard to keep out of our snug little house. I don't know.

***

Saturday was Christmas Eve and I decided to do a load of laundry. I stuffed the washer with Rocket Boy's and my clothes. Toward the end of the cycle, the toilet started gurgling and splashing. Uh-oh. We went in to look at it a few times, and the second time Rocket Boy went in and said, "Did you see the bathtub?" I went in again and looked. It was full of dirty brown water. "Oh no."

We had an inkling that the tree roots were invading our pipes again around Thanksgiving, when the toilet started gurgling one day. I wanted to call a plumber then, but the problem seemed to go away and Rocket Boy suggested we wait. Of course, Christmas Eve would be when it happened again. 

I swore off laundry for the duration. I acknowledged that not having a functioning dishwasher might be a blessing in disguise. Rocket Boy went to Home Depot during the day to get a board to make puzzles on (we had a board, but it wasn't big enough for big puzzles), and Teen B and I went along to explore Home Depot's bathrooms (verdict: very nice, several stalls, clean, spacious). Later, after dinner, Teen A needed to go, but because it was Christmas Eve, nothing was open. Rocket Boy drove the boys around town, finally finding an open Walgreens with, blessedly, bathrooms. I was the only one who took a shower that night, and it was a very very quick shower.

Today we've been extremely careful. We've discovered that, for now, the toilet will flush if we're gentle with it. The current rules are: (1) only flush if you poop, and (2) flush no more than once every 30 minutes. We've been timing it. And of course, no doing laundry, no showers, be very careful when brushing teeth, washing hands, or washing dishes, dump the dishwater on the lawn, not down the drain, etc. 

We've been through this before, we know what to do. We left voicemails for two plumbers. Hopefully we'll hear from one or the other tomorrow. I know a lot of people had frozen pipes from the bomb cyclone, so the plumbers are very busy. I don't think that's our problem, I think it's tree roots. We'll see.

A few other things are wrong too: the dryer is having problems, requiring me to run every load twice (and it's a gas dryer, so that gets expensive). Rocket Boy tried to clean the vent the last time he was home, and now when I start it up, the dryer blows lint all over the garage. Oh, and the overhead light in the garage is being fussy, only sometimes coming on. 

But you know, I feel so lucky to have a snug little house, WITH POWER, unlike millions of other people right now. By a stroke of luck, Rocket Boy missed the storm entirely on his trip out here, and we didn't try to travel anywhere else, so we didn't get stuck in an airport like millions of other people. I feel very lucky that Rocket Boy is here with us during this mess, and that he exists at all -- and that I'm married to him. 

***

This brings us to Christmas, which has been roaring along while we go through all this nonsense. We've been reading Christmas books at night for the last several nights -- not three per night, like last year, just one. First we read The Spider Who Saved Christmas, which was my new Christmas book this year, then Rocket Boy chose The Tomten, then I chose Thomas' Christmas Delivery, then Teen B chose The Christmas Tree That Grew, and then I chose Tosca's Christmas. Teen A has so far refused to participate. That's OK. He still listens to the books, and comments on how stupid they are. Thomas' Christmas Delivery and The Christmas Tree That Grew are particularly stupid, and yet they're perennial favorites of ours.

Last night we were burning the Advent candles and the baby kitty (who you can see in this photo, lurking) jumped up onto the little stereo cabinet, right next to the five burning candles. We shooed him down twice and then decided it was time to snuff them out for the night.

I was the first one awake this morning, at about 8:30, but soon I heard Teen B get up and come out to the kitchen to get his phone (having the phones charge in the kitchen is a great way to get your kids out of bed in the morning). He and I sat out in the living room and "waited" for the rest of the family (he actually started pulling things out of his stocking instead of "waiting," but I didn't stop him). Eventually Rocket Boy got up, and then finally Teen A, and we could get on with the present opening.

I didn't have any good ideas for the kids this year, mostly just got some goofy stuff to have fun with, but it was OK. Both boys criticized almost everything they unwrapped, to the point where it got quite funny. "Oh, a book that I'm not going to read," said Teen A, opening a book that I later saw him reading. "Mom, why did you get me this?" demanded Teen B, opening a robot kit that he later started playing with. It's as though at this age they just need to criticize, even though the criticism has no meaning.

Nothing could get me down today. I was so pleased that we were together, that it was not only above zero but above freezing, that all my cookies were baked, that I managed to put together enough gifts under the tree to make people reasonably happy (if a bit critical), that I wrote a check for the rest of the kitchen floor on Wednesday and paid my credit card (not due until January 9th) off on Friday, so we're ready for the next financial challenges (plumbing costs, dishwasher repair, the possible need to buy a new dishwasher and/or dryer). 

I was particularly pleased with my own gifts, some of which I bought myself and some of which Rocket Boy purchased. I had chosen the calendar and the perpetual calendar for myself and wrapped them up ("To Mom, from Santa"). I ordered the doll from eBay and wrapped up the box without opening it, so that was a fun surprise. I had asked for a napkin holder that wouldn't fall over and I thought RB did a great job of choosing one. He also got me the Truman bio (stopped at Truman's Presidential library on his way out here to buy it). I won't read that, probably, until 2025, but I'll be all ready for it then.

I got him a Film Noir encyclopedia, which he seems very happy with, a selection of chocolate and marzipan, a calendar, and a new shirt, so that all worked out well too.

Being a mom at Christmas is kind of a thankless task, but I've got to say this was probably the easiest Christmas I've had since I became a mom. With the FlyLady's help, I made most of my preparations ahead of time, so I had the energy and good mood to deal with the inevitable Christmas disasters. I'm hoping that keeps me going through whatever the week ahead has in store for us.

***

Now what comes next? Boxing Day, but I don't know how to celebrate that. Kwanzaa starts tomorrow, we'll think about that. I like to celebrate it, but have trouble deciding exactly how. Here are the days:

1. unity (umoja) Monday, Dec. 26
   
2. self-determination (kujichagulia) Tuesday, Dec. 27
   
3. collective responsibility (ujima) Wednesday, Dec. 28
   
4. cooperative economics (ujamaa) Thursday, Dec. 29
   
5. purpose (nia) Friday, Dec. 30
   
6. creativity (kuumba) Saturday, Dec. 31. Feast day.
   
7. faith (imani) Sunday, Jan. 1
   

In the past, I've celebrated by giving money to Black-related organizations. So that's probably what I'll do this year too. Mission St. Louis has become one of my regular donees, and I like to buy something from a Black-owned business or two, a book by a Black author, that kind of thing. I've been reading about Kwanzaa and they say that anyone can celebrate it, and it can be about you, your "self-determination" and "purpose" and whatnot, even if you're not Black. But I still feel as though it's a good opportunity to donate to Black causes. The only issue might be that we need to be careful with our money right now! I gave away about $500 on Colorado Gives Day, which was only a few weeks ago. I'll see. 

My book group meets Tuesday -- NOT here, as I had thought, but at another member's house. I'm extremely grateful for that, given our lack of plumbing and dishwashers. I don't know what else we'll do this week. Teen B wants to see a movie, but we can't come up with anything that appeals to us. Maybe we'll go to a museum.

And I must work on planning, planning, planning for 2023. What to read, what to do, how to improve myself and the house. All that stuff. I really enjoy it. A new year! So much fun to think about.

Reading post: Classics Challenge wrap-up

I've finished all 12 of my chosen books for the 2022 Back to the Classics Challenge, so this is my wrap-up post with links to my reviews. Although I read these books in mostly chronological order, I list them here in category order, to make things easier for the person who runs the challenge. I don't think I should win, having won last year!

My theme this year was Japanese and Japanese-American fiction. One of the categories this year was "classic that's been on your TBR list the longest" and that happened to be a work of Japanese literature, The Makioka Sisters by Tanizaki Junichiro. So the theme was handed to me, and eventually I came to appreciate it, though at first I wasn't pleased. 

I spent a week in Japan about, oh, 35 years ago? 36? almost 37? A long time ago. Around that time (before and after the trip) I read several books by Japanese authors, but I hadn't read anything in a long time. I'd sort of forgotten about Japan.

Of the books I read this year, my favorite work of Japanese literature was in fact The Makioka Sisters, which surprised me by being excellent, and my favorite work of Japanese-American literature was No-No Boy by John Okada, which is also excellent. It was good to spend the first part of this year becoming better acquainted with classic Japanese literature, and then the last few months learning about the Japanese-American experience through literature.

 

Here are the books I read, in the official category order.

1. A 19th century classic. Child's Play by Higuchi Ichiyo, 1895. (Also translated as Growing Up and Comparing Heights.)

2. A 20th century classic. No-No Boy by John Okada, 1957.

3. A classic by a woman author. Journey to Topaz by Yoshiko Uchida, 1971.

4. A classic in translation. The Tale of the Heike, author unknown, prior to 1330.

5. A classic by a BIPOC author. Citizen 13660 by Mine Okubo, 1946. 

6. Mystery/detective/crime classic. The Honjin Murders by Seishi Yokomizo, 1946.

7. A classic short-story collection. Yokohama, California by Toshio Mori, 1942-49.

8. A pre-1800 classic. The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu, 11th century.

9. A nonfiction classic. Nisei Daughter by Monica Sone, 1953.

10. Classic that's been on your TBR list the longest. The Makioka Sisters by Tanizaki Junichiro, 1948.

11. Classic set in a place you'd like to visit. The Narrow Road to the Deep North by Basho, 1702.

12. Wild card classic. I am a Cat by Natsume Soseki, 1906. 

When I started this project, I was curious about whether the works of Japanese literature and the works of Japanese American literature would have anything to say to each other. I expected that there would be some connection, but in the end I didn't really see one. This might be because almost all early Japanese American literature began in response to the internment camps. 

The story of the internment camps is the story of how a group of people, many of them American citizens, were punished by the American government, which is supposed to be above such things, for their origins, even their parents' or grandparents' origins. Although two of my authors (Monica Sone and Yoshiko Uchida) included characters who knew Japanese literature and wrote poetry in traditional Japanese forms, those characters had to get rid of all their Japanese books and writing before they went into the camps. They were forced to get rid of their heritage. Later, in 1982, Uchida published a memoir of the camps in which she included some of her mother's poetry, quite effectively.

All the Japanese-American authors I read (Mori, Okubo, Sone, Okada, and Uchida) were Nisei, that is, they were born in America to Japanese-born parents (Issei). So their knowledge of Japanese literature would have come mainly through their parents, or possibly through the Japanese-language schools that most of them attended, as children, in the afternoons after regular school. Uchida did not attend one of those schools, but she did have the opportunity to study pottery in Japan for two years, in the 1950s.

What would Japanese American literature have looked like without the camps? Would there even have been any? Yes, there would have been at least one book. Toshio Mori wrote the first version of his book of short stories and it was scheduled to be published before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor changed everything. Perhaps if there had been no camps, other Japanese Americans would have been inspired, like Mori -- or by Mori -- to write their own stories. But the terrible experience of the camps forced them to think about their identity and their country in new ways, thus spawning this particular body of literature.

It's possible also that the literature would have come eventually, but a little later. The civil rights movement in the 1960s led many people to think more analytically about their race/ethnicity/heritage. One or two of the authors I read mentioned (in prefaces or afterwords written years after the original publication) that they had been inspired by Martin Luther King Jr., but when they originally wrote they didn't yet completely understand the issues.

I should also mention the classic Japanese literature I read, which completely blew my mind. I thought I knew something about Japanese literature before I started, but I'd never read anything really old. The Tale of Genji, The Tale of the Heike, and The Narrow Road to the Deep North, all written prior to 1800, were amazing works I never would have read without a Challenge like this one. I also loved Child's Play and of course The Makioka Sisters. In addition, I learned a lot about Japanese history from reading these books (and reading about them).

In any case, this was a very interesting year of reading, much more so than I thought it would be when I started. Thanks again to Karen, who organizes the fantastic Classics Challenge!

Cruising through the holidays

So here it is December 18th and I'm not stressed out. Well, I'm a little bit stressed, because the floor guys come tomorrow to put in our new kitchen floor and we won't be able to use our kitchen for a couple of days and something will probably go wrong and it's going to be expensive (though we've already paid, I think, 2/3 of the cost, something like that, more than half anyway). 

But aside from that. Christmas is in one week and I'm actually ready. This is what I've done:

• I wrote all the cards and mailed them. Rocket Boy still has to write the German cards (with my help), but that's only three cards. We'll probably do them today. Oh, and I still want to send an apology to my Nebraska cousins for saying that they live in Grand Island (in my holiday newsletter). But this is all very manageable.
• I have baked 12 batches of cookies. I can't believe I did this, but I did. We still have to decide what we're having for Christmas dinner and all that, but it's not stressful. Either we'll get a ham or we'll have some sort of fish. It's not anything to worry about.
• The tree is up, lights are on, and I finally put the ornaments on yesterday. I keep thinking I want to get a wreath or spray for the front door, but it doesn't matter if I don't. I need to get Rocket Boy to turn on the lights on the house.
  
• We're 3 Sundays through Advent, this is the 4th, and Hanukkah starts tonight. I have all the candles and everything. We'll do some Hanukkah meals later on, but not until after the kitchen is done. There are latkes in the freezer.
• I've done all my shopping (except for maybe one more small present, which Rocket Boy can help with), and all the presents are wrapped. This is unheard of, but true.
• I made our personalized calendar, ordered 2 copies, they've arrived, and I've wrapped one up for Rocket Boy.
• Oh, and I coaxed the twins through their first set of high school finals. And made dinner every night. And did the laundry regularly. And kept the house reasonably clean.
   

The only thing I didn't get done wasn't actually a Christmas thing: cleaning up the desk room so that Teen B could have his own desk away from Teen A. That's a really big project and it was too hard to combine it with Christmas. I'll just have to work on it in the new year.

So now I'm thinking, what the heck do I do for the next week? No, not really. I'm basking in the joy of being "done" so early. It really is a nice feeling. And I owe it all to the FlyLady. She's been sending out "Christmas Cruise Missions" every weekday since the middle of October. (My email program started blocking her around the middle of November, so now I have to read her messages on her website.) I haven't done them all, but I've done a lot of them. Also, because I've been organizing my life around her routines since June, it was easy to come up with schedules for the last couple of weeks that enabled me to get all my baking and shopping done.

I still won't watch her YouTube channel. The last one I watched, she was all excited about Elon Musk "bringing free speech back to Twitter." I've been tempted to watch a few times since, to see whether she's eating her words on that, but I haven't done it. MAGA Republicans always have a way of twisting things around to suit themselves.

With the FlyLady, I take what I need and let the political and religious stuff rest.

I still can't believe I baked 12 batches of cookies. I almost didn't make it. 

This week I started with date crunch (top left), then Norwegian holiday cookies (bottom middle), and then the peppermint meltaways (top middle). And then I felt like I was done. I could have stopped there. But Teen B REALLY wanted me to make sugar cookies, so that he could help decorate. So on Thursday morning, while the twins were taking their last final, I made the dough. That night, on the spur of the moment, I whipped up the meringue cookies and put them in the oven to bake/dry overnight. Then on Friday morning, the kids (mostly Teen B) and I cut out and decorated and baked the sugar cookies (bottom left). Then I rebaked the meringues, because they were still soft from the day before. Probably overbaked them, but anyway, they're edible (bottom right). And then I went ahead and made the fudge (top left), because I wanted to have all day Saturday to get ready for Rocket Boy's arrival that night. So there you are, 12 batches.

Next year I am not going to make 12 batches! Skip the meringues, skip the gingerbread cookie bars, skip the spritz which were impossible. So no more than 9. Preferably 6. We'll see.

The aspect of Christmas that gave me the most trouble this year was the stupid tree. It's the only thing that made me truly angry. I am so done with this old tree!

I told Rocket Boy, if he's not around to put up the tree next December, I am going to go out and buy a new one. No ifs, ands, or buts. We'll see if I remember this next December.

Anyway, I struggled and struggled and managed to put up half the tree. More or less. (By myself. The twins would not help.) If you look at it closely you can see that I did something wrong, or a couple of somethings wrong. There are gaps in the trunk that shouldn't be there. I got the branches stuck in, but in retrospect I didn't arrange them properly, which also has to do with the way I put the trunk together. And then the branches started falling out, and I couldn't remember how to fix them with hose clamps. Or it may be that I didn't WANT to remember how to fix them with hose clamps. I found some hose clamps and the tool that you use, but I stopped there. Rocket Boy can fix them if he wants to, thought I, crossly.

I read somewhere that the best way to put lights on a tree is to go from top to bottom, moving all around the tree. Maybe for some trees that is best, but not this tree. I ended up with very strange bunches of lights in weird places. Also, I ran out of lights, so the back of the tree (and one strange section of the front) is not lit. Also, clumps of lights keep suddenly falling down.

I hate this tree. Merry Christmas to you too.

After I put the lights on, I didn't do anything else for a day or two. Too angry. Finally, yesterday, with Rocket Boy known to be driving across Kansas, I made a schedule for the hours of the day. The first hour looked something like this:

• Kitchen (15 mins)
• Living room (15 mins)
• Tree (15 mins)
• 15 min break
  

I made enough little schedules like that to fill seven hours of the day, and I started following them at 9 am, so I got a lot done. For almost every hour, the third 15-minute segment was "Tree." So the tree got done. 

I was careful to leave off ornaments that I know Baby Kitty likes to eat, such as anything made of a teasle or a pinecone, and anything that looks like a little stuffed animal. No straw stars either. I still have the remains of a couple of teasle ornaments he destroyed last year. That fat red Santa ornament on the upper half of the tree is possibly in danger, but I decided to risk it. So far this year Baby Kitty has not climbed the tree to take down higher-level ornaments, but they've only been up there one day so far, so I must be watchful.

I still don't have a real creche (my old one was destroyed in the 2013 flood). We have that circular one with levels, but I don't like it much. I look in stores every year, but I've never seen another that I like the way I liked my old one. So instead I set up my little Playmobil Christmas scene. That made me happy.

I still haven't gotten my Barbies into their Christmas outfits, so that remains on my (very short) to-do list. But come on, that's just fun.

I don't know what we're going to do this week, other than get our floor replaced and do some last-minute Christmas prep (like figuring out dinner). We'll go for walks, maybe go swimming. Maybe we'll go to a museum. There are a few people we want to get together with.

My book group is actually scheduled to come here on December 27th, so I have to plan for that. We're reading Dreaming the Beatles by Rob Sheffield, kind of an unusual choice. (I read it with my phone in one hand, constantly searching up and playing the songs he writes about.) I suppose I should serve English food, but I don't know. Maybe Indian food, because of George Harrison's interests? Something with apples, because of Apple Records. Or, let's see, oh, I could reference food mentioned in songs, such as "Savoy Truffle," but those are all desserts. I don't think anyone's going to be in the mood for an all-dessert menu, two days after Christmas. Mustard potato salad for "Mean Mr. Mustard." Strawberries for "Strawberry Fields Forever." Submarine sandwiches for "Yellow Submarine."

Hmm. I think Indian food sounds like the best option, actually. Or I could get submarine sandwiches from the grocery store. For either of those, I could do them at the last minute, next Tuesday. So I'm not going to worry about this anymore. It will be fine.

That will also be the 2nd day of Kwanzaa, which I also like to celebrate. The 2nd day is Self-Determination Day. OK, I'm not going to worry about that for the book group. Don't make things more complicated than necessary.

It feels strange not to have anything to worry about, a week before Christmas. Strange, and somehow empty. But in a good way.

OK, I'm going to finish this up and go get some things done. I want to take a quick walk and then I have to wash all the breakfast and lunch dishes by hand because we don't want to use the dishwasher again until after the new floor is installed, and then we're going to start moving things. Rocket Boy thinks we can take the dining table apart and put it against the wall and then move the stove, dishwasher, and fridge into the dining area. 

I'm sure it will be no problem at all.

Enjoying December

Yes, I really am. It's been fun so far. I still have moments (every day, perhaps every hour) when I panic and think I'm "behind." But then I catch myself: you're not behind, you're right on schedule. And weirdly enough, this is true.

So what did I do this week? I baked SIX batches of cookies, so I'm halfway to my goal of 12. That goal was kind of a joke when I set it, so I'm very surprised that it is suddenly within reach. (The photo shows seven tins because there are two tins of Lebkuchen. Clockwise from bottom left we have (1) eggnog cookies, (2a) Lebkuchen with lemon glaze, (2b) Lebkuchen with chocolate glaze, (3) spritz, (4) candy cane cookies, (5) gingerbread cookie bars, and in the middle (6) panocha squares.

I keep thinking -- I could stop now! Or I could stop soon, that's more realistic. Tomorrow (Monday) I plan to make date crunch, which is many people's favorite cookie, so I don't want to skip that. And next Saturday I plan to make fudge, which two young people would kill me if I didn't make. But in between those two I'm planning to make Norwegian holiday cookies, peppermint meltaways, sugar cookies, and meringues. And you know, the world might not end if I didn't. So we'll just see how it goes. Six (maybe) batches to go, but I'm kind of in the rhythm now. The only serious problem is that I'm running out of empty tins! I will have to store some cookies in plastic.

When I got up each morning this week I would pull out the butter and eggs that I'd need from the fridge and put them in a bowl in the microwave to come to room temperature (because Mr. Merlino thinks jumping up on the counter and licking the butter is a good idea). Then I'd go about the business of getting the kids off to school and the cats fed and myself fed, and the clean dishes put away and the laundry started, and then starting at 9 am I made a batch of cookies. While the cookies baked I did some FlyLady things, and then by 11 am I was almost always done, and I would sit down at my computer to work on my novel for a little while. 

Later, after lunch and (some days) a short walk, I went shopping. Grocery shopping on Monday and Christmas shopping the other days. Well, actually I only shopped on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. On Friday I thought I would go to Pearl Street and look in stores, but eventually I realized that I didn't really have any specific ideas for what to buy -- plus, I was tired of shopping. So I stayed home and decided my shopping was done.

Actually, there will probably be a little more shopping after Rocket Boy comes and we talk about what I've gotten and what he'd like to get. But I'm basically done. Not only that, but almost everything is wrapped. That's unheard of, for me.

So, what are the plans for the week ahead? The mornings should be the same. The kids have final exams, two each day, so school starts half an hour later than normal. But I'll just go about my business the same way, doing my routines and starting to bake (they'll leave the house around 8:30 and I start to bake at 9, so no problem). The afternoons, though, will be different, because I have no more shopping to do.

Instead, I need to start decorating. It's interesting the way you do the things you want to do right away, and dillydally over what you don't. I love doing the cards, so that comes first. Then cookies. I did the shopping not because I love it, but because I knew I needed to get it done. But now comes the decorating, my least favorite task. This picture shows where the tree goes (we're only doing half a tree this year, so it will probably sit on the card table and I'll drape a cloth over the table to hide some of the unattractiveness of it.

But first I have to do something about all those (mostly empty) boxes. And the broken lamp. 

I need a plan for the decorating. Can I work on it for an hour each afternoon, or would that take me down? I don't know. I'll tentatively say an hour. If it seems too much, I can dial it back.

So, what do I need to do?

1. Clear off the card table (put the boxes in the garage or recycle them) and put a cloth down
   
2. Set up the half tree.
3. Put on the lights.
4. Put on the ornaments (focusing on non-breakable, non-chewable ones, as the folks in Breaking Cat News are doing this year).
5. Clear off the two pieces of furniture next to the card table and make them more Christmassy: put down seasonal cloths, set up a Christmas scene for my dolls or Teen B's Christmas Lego set from a couple of years ago (he still has it assembled in his room), set up a sort of Nativity scene, etc.
6. In my room, get my Barbie dolls dressed in seasonal outfits. Maybe some of them could come in the living room too, I'll see.
   

That might be it. We need to put a timer on the outside lights, but I don't know how to do that, so I'll leave it for Rocket Boy when he arrives next weekend. As cards arrive, I'll display them. As finals end, I'll remove the study materials from the coffee table (right now it seems better to leave them there). Hanukkah starts next Sunday, so we'll set up the menorah then.

This all sounds totally doable. Maybe #1 & #2 tomorrow, #3 on Tuesday, #4 on Wednesday, #5 on Thursday, #6 on Friday. Something like that.

And, in fact, I just pulled myself together and did #1. Look at that -- the boxes have been removed from the card table (except for one, because the cats like to sit in it -- it'll come off when the tree goes up). And a lovely seasonal cloth has been placed over the card table. I'm so excited.

Well, not really. This was the easy part. It's #2 that I'm dreading -- assembling the tree. Every year I say we're not putting up that tree one more time, we're getting rid of it, we're getting a new fake tree. And every year I put it up again. Hmm. And then there's putting on the lights, which I'd much rather Rocket Boy did, but he's not here. And then the ornaments -- that part's OK, except for having to try to guess which ornaments look too much like cat toys to be put on the tree. No straw stars for another year, gotta wait until Mr. Merlino grows up. He's three now. Maybe when he's eight or so?

Of course, I also need to work on clearing clutter from the desk room to allow room for another desk. I have made absolutely no progress on that. Talk about not doing things you don't want to do. 

***

I ended this rather abruptly last night because twins were calling me to come help study for finals and I knew I'd never get back to it. But now it's the next morning and I've already discovered that I need to change my plans for the week. So here is my new schedule:

7:30-8:30     Get up, get kids off to school

8:30-9:30     Feed cats, eat breakfast, start routines

9:30-11:30     Make a batch of cookies, interspersed with FlyLady tasks

11:30-12:30    Write

12:30-1:30    Take a short walk, have lunch

1:30-2:30    Work on cleaning up the desk room (I have to do this before the kids come home from school, because after that they'll be in here and they won't want me in here messing with things)

2:30-3:30    Decorate. The kids will be home by 2:45, since finals end at 2:30, so they can help me decorate. Ha. Well, it could happen.

And now I see that I am already 5 minutes late for baking cookies, so I'd better get going. I can already tell I don't have as much enthusiasm for it this week. No problem -- we already have six batches. I can stop at any time. Sure...

OK, December

So it's December and I feel so behind! This is silly. I'm not behind. I have written and mailed all the Christmas cards (nearly all -- just the German cards are still to be done, and a few to neighbors that will get delivered with cookies, not mailed). I've also done some of my shopping (more than usual for this time of year), wrapped some of the presents I've bought, planned my cookie baking, planned the decorating, and kept the house fairly clean. So I should be feeling great, smug even.

But I'm not, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

I think I need to take a step back and think about this. It's December 4th. Christmas is in exactly three weeks. During that time I need to do various things:

• Make the personalized calendar that I do every year (and order 2 copies, one for me and one for Rocket Boy)
• Finish shopping
• Bake all these cookies I'm planning to bake
• Put up the tree, decorate it, and do whatever other decorating I'm going to do
• Get ready for Rocket Boy's next visit (he's planning to arrive in exactly two weeks)
• Complete the desk room project: get rid of the piles of papers by my desk so that I can move some furniture around and get Teen B set up with his own desk before Rocket Boy arrives
  
• Prepare for the kitchen floor being replaced on Dec. 19th or 20th (and how we'll live without a kitchen for two days)
• Help the kids survive their first experience of real final exams (already working on this)
• Plan, shop for, and cook healthy meals for the family while also constantly baking
• Keep track of money and don't accidentally spend $$ we don't have (pay down the credit card once a week so that it doesn't get away from me)
  
• Take care of myself so that I don't get rundown and sick: get enough sleep, eat right, get some exercise every day, don't get all stressed out
  

Realistically, I don't have three weeks. The kitchen floor replacement is going to mess things up that last week, big time. Plus, the kids will be out of school by then. Their last day of school is Friday, December 16th, but that day is just a finals make-up day. Assuming they don't have any finals to make up, their last day will be Thursday, December 15th. So, really I only have 11 days left, not three weeks. And two of those days are next weekend, so I only have 9 days left on my own, and I think one of those days they have the afternoon off and other days they might get home early... so really I just have this week to get my shopping done. This week plus maybe a day or two.

That's scary.

Deep breath. Several deep breaths, to the point of hyperventilating. It is going to be OK. It is all going to be just fine.

The schedule I planned last week worked out quite well -- not perfectly, but well. The morning part of the schedule worked really well: FlyLady stuff, followed by writing time, followed by a holiday task (Christmas cards), followed by a short walk and lunch. The afternoon part -- not so much. I discovered immediately that shopping takes more than one hour, even if you only go to one or two stores, because there's driving and parking to consider. Even if you're shopping online, which I did on Tuesday and Wednesday, due to the weather, it takes a long time to sort through the masses of options to choose something. Plus, after shopping (even electronic shopping) I'm tired. So I changed the schedule to 1-2:30 for shopping and 2:30-3 for a rest and 3-4 for working on the desk room. And even so, the shopping ended up more like 1-3 pm and the desk room project didn't happen at all. That's right, I got nothing done on it. 

I'm thinking that maybe I need to rethink that, only work on the desk room the days I don't shop.

I also learned that I normally spend more than an hour on FlyLady things, which is why it seems like I spend all my time cleaning. I'm slow and inefficient, and giving myself an hour to do FlyLady things means that maybe two small things will get done. However, I happily spent an hour or so writing and close to an hour on cards every day. I exercised some of the days, not all, but some is better than none.

Now that the cards are done, this week my "holiday task" each day will mainly be baking, and it occurred to me that I should probably do that first thing in the morning, not wait until 11 am, because some recipes need time to chill or bake or whatever. Also, I need to be around when they're cooling so that the cats don't get them. So my slightly altered plan for this week is as follows:

• 7-8 am: get kids off to school. Pull out ingredients that need to come to room temperature, such as butter and eggs (hide them from the cats).
  
• 8-9 am: feed cats, eat breakfast, do basic routines (dishes, laundry)
  
• 9-11 am: bake a batch of cookies, interspersed with FlyLady stuff (such as when cookies are in the oven, etc.)
  
• 11-12 pm: write
• 12-1 pm: lunch, a short walk
• 1-3 pm: errands, shopping (on good-weather days)
  
• 3-4 pm: free time before the kids come home
  

My "free time" could be spent working on my calendar or decorating. But if I need a nap instead, those things can be done on the weekend, or the following week or two, when the twins (or even Rocket Boy) are home to help.

I am planning to make six batches of cookies this week:

• Monday: panocha squares. They're easy, and I need something easy because Monday is also Home Blessing Day and Grocery Shopping Day.
• Tuesday: gingerbread cookie bars. I couldn't find my recipe for these, so I googled them and found six million recipes that aren't the right one. I finally found one that looked like it might be close enough, so I'm going to make it and hope for the best.
  
• Wednesday: eggnog cookies. The kids don't like these, so that means they'll last for a while.
  
• Thursday: spritz. Haven't made these in AGES. I hope I remember how to use a cookie press. Also hope my cookie press hasn't rusted to bits. I know where it is (I think), and we have Rocket Boy's mom's old press too. Should be fine.
  
• Friday: lebkuchen. I am very nervous about this. I found a new recipe online that sounds really good, and I ordered the little wafer backing things from Amazon. But the recipe wants me to make my own spice mix and my own candied lemon and orange peel, and when am I going to do all that? We'll see about this one.
  
• Saturday (with the kids): candy cane cookies. An old favorite. Should be just fine.
  

I had the feeling I needed to review my cupboards, see if I actually have all the ingredients to make all these cookies. So I got out the recipes (googled them, printed them out, etc.) and I typed up how many of each thing I needed (flour, sugar, vanilla) and then combined them into one big list. The list is a little overwhelming. There are 35 different ingredients on it. Yes, many of them are spices, but still. Salted butter, unsalted butter, oil. Brown sugar, white sugar, powdered sugar, molasses, honey. Eleven eggs. The spices are ginger, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice, coriander, cardamom, star anise, and mace. I have all the spices except the star anise, which I cannot find anywhere. I thought I'd look at Whole Foods tomorrow.

I have the energy to do things like make a list like that -- and then I look at the list and collapse (mentally). And then I have to go back to taking deep breaths. Just relax. No need to get upset. It will all work out.

A few things happened this week to make me rethink my priorities a little. The first was just the experience of doing the cards. I love sending Christmas cards, despite all the bother. I enjoy going through the list, deciding who to send a card to. I like looking at the holiday stamps and deciding which ones to buy (I mostly went with otters and flowers in snow this year). I like choosing the cards themselves (at McGuckin's again this year). I like writing our holiday letter, tinkering with it, getting Rocket Boy's approval (or not, and then rewriting it). And then I start addressing and actually writing the cards, and it's such a trip down memory lane. There are no neutral cards. Each one makes me sit and think about the person/people it's addressed to. When did I last see them, what is my history with them, when am I likely to see them again (if ever). I don't write very much on most of the cards, but I do a great deal of thinking about them. I managed to do about 10 each day (in an hour), so I guess I didn't spend more than 6 minutes thinking about each person, but it felt like more. And the things I ended up writing on the cards seemed so incredibly inadequate compared with those thoughts.

I think that's why I keep sending cards, even though it seems more and more anachronistic (though they do say some young people still send them, so I'm not a total dinosaur). I don't do Facebook or whatever, so I don't have that connection with people. But once a year I sit down and think about everyone I know well enough to send a card to, and it's very moving. 

It's moving to receive cards from people too. Now that I've sent ours out, I sit back and wait to see what comes in (we've gotten one already). I love the holiday newsletters and the individual notes people write, even if it's just a quick "Happy holidays!" Some of the cards will have sad news -- it's more common as people get older, of course. But even when there's nothing but people's names, as on the card that came this week, you still know they took the time to write their names. Also, that particular card had a new address on it, which spoke volumes -- they've retired and moved closer to their daughter. And I think about when we visited them in their old house -- maybe 18 years ago or so? -- and how now we'll never go there again, if indeed we ever see them again. We're all getting older.

Another thing that happened this week I hardly want to think about. On Thursday afternoon I was out doing errands and shopping, and my phone rang. I was in a parking lot, so I answered, and it was the Boulder Valley School District (a recording) telling me that my kids' school was on "Secure Lockout." No other information. I also got an email about it. Maybe half an hour later, another call, same message except to add that police are acting on a "Safe 2 Tell" tip. Half an hour later, another call telling me the Secure Lockout is over and things are back to normal. And sometime after that there was an email from the principal explaining that they had gotten a tip that a student outside the school had a gun. They located the student, learned that it was just a BB gun, and cancelled the Secure Lockout. No information about what happens next with the student.

Just four days before this, the principal sent out a message saying that another student had died. No information as to how, but I'm assuming another suicide. If so, that's three so far this year. Unthinkable.

Another thing this week: we had another snowstorm, maybe 4 inches or so, and then we had WIND. Two nights of high winds, mostly gusts in the 60-70 mph range, but one gust was 89.9 mph. We were fine, no big deal, just minor branches down, but it's so scary. We're coming up on the one-year anniversary of the Marshall Fire. What's Christmas going to be like for all the people who lost everything last year? I think very little rebuilding has actually taken place yet, but I've read that people are now having to make hard decisions about what sort of rebuilding they CAN do, given that nobody had enough insurance coverage.

So, OK. We didn't have a school shooting -- but there was the threat of one. Our high winds didn't do much damage -- but they reminded me of last year's disaster. And doing the cards reminded me that connecting with other people is perhaps my favorite thing about Christmas (with Christmas cookies a close second?). 

It doesn't reduce the number of things I have to get done this week, next week, the week after. But it helps put them in perspective. I'll do what I can, and do my best not to sweat any of it, just have fun.

We did a few fun things this week: Teen B and I went to a play put on at the library yesterday, and in the evening we went to the Lights of December Parade downtown -- that was a lot of fun. And today both boys got flu shots (they've both had their Covid boosters already). This coming week there's nothing like that planned, but maybe something will come up at the last minute. If not, at least I'll bake a lot of cookies. Probably.