Chugging along

This has been a crappy week, healthwise, but today I don't feel so bad. Well, sort of. I do feel like I'm getting another UTI, which is so very very annoying that I'm pretending that it's not happening. And maybe it's not, maybe I'll be able to shake it off. I don't know. 

My appointment with my doctor on Monday was awful. She had absolutely no idea what to do about my calcium problem, no idea how to interpret my test results (normal calcium, low parathyroid), no idea what I should do next. She told me to call the surgeon again and the endocrinologist I saw once this past spring. And then she launched into diabetes management, criticizing me for basically everything I'm doing, and not being even a little bit impressed by the fact that I'd lost FOURTEEN POUNDS. Jesus, I want to write that on my roof in big white letters so people in airplanes will see it when they fly by. Do you know how hard it is to lose 14 pounds when you're 61 and have been fat your entire life?

Plus, when you're diagnosed with diabetes the first thing they tell you is that you need to try to lose at least 5 percent of your current weight, because that will help more than anything else you could do. And I've done that! I've lost over 5% of my starting weight! Be impressed, people! Because my doctor sure isn't. 

I hate my doctor. I really seriously do. I need to find a different one. Maybe later, when I have more energy.

Anyway, I called the surgeon and the endocrinologist. The surgeon didn't get back to me all week -- it sounded like he might be on vacation. Maybe I'll hear from him this week. I called the endocrinologist, then called scheduling and made an appointment for October 18th (!!!) because that was the first available, then called the endocrinologist again, and finally heard back from her assistant, who said October 18th would be a great time for me to come in. I got a little frantic, started telling her about my symptoms and how hard it is to manage my calcium levels, and she finally said she would talk to the endocrinologist and call me back. She did finally call back with this message: "If you're feeling shaky it's OK to take one more tablet."

I thought, one more tablet? I'm currently taking three tablets at a time, three or four times a day. Does she mean I should take four tablets at a time? Or just throw in an extra tablet somewhere? I realized -- actually I'd already realized this -- that the endocrinologist doesn't have any idea how much calcium I should be taking, nor does anyone else, and it's up to me to figure it out. So I said thank you, see you in October, and that was that.

Meanwhile, I've been reading everything I can find on the internet about this, and believe me, there isn't much. The main thing I keep reading, over and over, is that this doesn't happen. Everyone's parathyroid glands start working again within a month, usually within a few days, even in large studies where they look at what happens with hundreds of different patients. It's now been five weeks and two days since my surgery. Any time now, parathyroid glands. I'm waiting.

I'm also experimenting. Thursday I tried taking two tablets at a time, five times a day. That was a disaster -- I was shaky and sweaty and nauseated and panicky all day. Friday I took three tablets four times a day, and by the end of the day I felt better. Saturday (yesterday) I took three tablets three times a day and it didn't feel like enough. But today I thought I'd try the three tablets three times a day schedule again, and I feel OK. Just a little shaky. Maybe my parathyroid glands are waking up? I sure hope so. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

I'm not getting anything else done. I've honestly just given up. My new phone isn't activated, I haven't done anything about the stinging insect problem, the house is a mess, I haven't touched the files. What else haven't I done? Everything. 

No, not true. I've done a few things. Laundry, cat care, daily walks, the occasional shower. Helping boos with their homework. I even made banana bread. I'm also diligently reading Grant, because I want to finish it by the end of August (running out of time here). Less than 100 pages to go. Other books I want to read are piling up around my nightstand -- need to get this one done. It's interesting to read about Grant's Indian policy. Apparently he was the first president to really try to do something positive with Indian affairs, not that he succeeded. I guess there was some improvement, but he didn't respect their cultures -- he just wanted to turn them into Americans. Still, the author argues that if Grant hadn't at least tried to save them, they would have been truly "exterminated" -- which is what the military wanted to do.

It's interesting to read about Indians in their own words, in the motley assortment of novels and other writings I've been making my way through, and then read about them in presidential biographies. Different perspectives, and all that.

Oh, I know something else I did -- I "attended" the twins' virtual Back to School night on Thursday, watching every one of their teachers' videos. Some were OK -- science sounds like it's going to be very interesting. First semester they're going to learn about catastrophic events (volcanos, earthquakes, hurricanes, etc.), and second semester they'll go into (near) space, with weather and eclipses and whatnot. I described this to Rocket Boy later and he said oh yes, earth science. And I realized he was right, it's earth science. Should be fun. I was also impressed by their Multimedia class (they both have it as an elective). It's sort of like Shop for the modern age. They'll do web design and coding and photography and they'll also make things out of wood. But oh, social studies, and oh, language arts. All this talk about getting ready for high school, lots of writing, constructing arguments... It just makes me ill. At what point will Teen B drop out of school? At least Teen A has his special ed teacher to help him. Teen B just has me.

I also made a valiant attempt to cook dinner every school night, and managed to do it three times out of five.

• 
  Monday we had Nacho Cups, which are the easiest thing I know how to make (and the kids love them, no matter how many times we've had them). You can make them with chicken but I never do -- just a can of refried beans, some cheese, and tortilla chips. The sour cream in the fridge had mold on it, but we had some guacamole, so that was a good substitution. Almost like a vegetable.
  
• Tuesday we had corn fritters and a salad made of Trader Joe's butter lettuce and sliced cucumber. The twins reminded me that they do not like corn fritters (weird twins -- I loved corn fritters when I was a kid), so I ended up eating most of them for lunch the next few days. But they ate all the salad, so that was a win. Actual vegetables -- two kinds!
• Wednesday I fixed a package of Knorr Rice Sides -- Cheddar Broccoli flavor -- that I found in the cupboard, plus some actual broccoli, steamed in the microwave. You couldn't really tell that the Knorr dish had broccoli in it, so the extra broccoli didn't seem redundant. The kids really liked the rice thing, and they both ate some broccoli too, so I didn't worry too much about what a terrible dinner it was.
• Thursday I felt awful all day and I told the kids I just couldn't cook. I was so nauseated I couldn't work with food. They ate various snacks.
  
• Friday I planned to cook -- I had a recipe and ingredients and everything. And then, again, I just couldn't do it. Teen A had snacks and I made Teen B some scrambled eggs. Bad Mom. Very very bad Mom.
  
• And Saturday we had takeout Chinese food, and tonight we're having leftovers. I get to start thinking about cooking again tomorrow.

So, yeah, cooking isn't going that well, but I am trying. And now I have leftover rice from the Chinese food, so I can do a stir-fry or maybe the recipe my sister just gave me, for "Sticky Chicken," which I will make as "Sticky Tofu."

That's probably enough about me (you can go back to thinking about Afghanistan and Hurricane Ida and all the rest of the world's problems). I'm not going to make any plans for the week, other than (a) get through it, (b) try to make dinner each night, (c) keep up with laundry and dishes, (d) finish the Grant biography, (e) keep working on the calcium problem, and (f) if I feel better, do something more than this. I hope I feel better.