I'm 60 years old

Yesterday was my birthday and I am now officially 60 years old. I have lived in the world for six decades, five 12-year cycles, four 15-year chunks, three 20-year chunks, two 30-year chunks... Sixty is kind of a cool number, divisible by so many other numbers.

That's partly because it's a REALLY BIG number. I am REALLY OLD. And I'm totally psyched about that.

I had a nice birthday, very low key. Around 3:30 pm or so I told the kids it was party time, so they put down their stupid iPads, came out to the living room, and watched me open a box from Aunt Baba. It was full of fun stuff -- mysteries and a jigsaw puzzle from booksorting, a Starbucks gift card, and a bunch of old family papers to look through. I also received two other gift cards (Amazon and Michael's), a beautiful turquoise necklace, and a bouquet of flowers from our next-door neighbor, Arlene. Also, I'm told that a new sewing machine is on its way. I was very well-remembered.

Then we opened up Aunt Nonny's funny present, a gigantic Cheesecake Factory cheesecake (12 pieces, four different flavors). I put six candles on it, lit them, sang happy birthday to myself (the twins hummed along), and then tried and failed to blow all six candles out (captured photographically by Kid B). I have so little wind!

I served the twins each a piece of chocolate mousse cheesecake (their choice), and watched to see how they did with it. When Kid A gave up after a couple bites, I took over his piece -- and couldn't finish it either! It's very delicious, but very rich. Kid B didn't make much of a dent in his piece either, so it went in the fridge. Today I tried a piece of white chocolate raspberry and that was a little easier to get through. But I think we are going to freeze several pieces for Rocket Boy's next visit home.

I always say I absolutely won't cook dinner on my birthday, I won't do housework, whatever. But when it came right down to it, I didn't feel like getting takeout, and I certainly didn't want to eat at an actual restaurant. Nor did I want to nag the twins to make pancakes. So I made dinner -- just a simple pasta dish with veggies. It was fine. I also cleaned up the kitchen. That was fine too. Maybe that's what age 60 is going to bring to me -- a little more equanimity.

I planned for my birthday to be a day of reflection, but it was actually just a day of messing around on the computer and not getting much done. It was another Ozone Action Day, so I didn't drive to Barnes & Noble to get the book for the book group. I just hung out at home being lazy.

The reflection, what there was of it, happened during phone calls. When Nonny called in the afternoon, she expressed her displeasure at my turning 60 -- because it means that in a couple of years SHE will turn 60, which I have to admit seems a lot weirder than me doing it. I also kept thinking about how funny it will be to be 60 and have children in middle school. My parents were 54 when Nonny graduated from 8th grade. That's MUCH younger than 61, which is how old I'll be when the twins do the same. And then there's high school. When the twins graduate from high school (assuming they do), I will be 65 and Rocket Boy will be 71! Ack!

I talked to Rocket Boy two or three times during the day. He was obviously sad not to be with us. Last week, before he left, we had a tiny pre-birthday celebration -- went out to eat at IHOP and he and the kids gave me cards. One, a 60th birthday card, said, "If ever there was a time to laugh and celebrate and dance the night away..." (then you open the card) "...it was about 10 or 15 years ago." I laughed out loud, but since we were IHOP's only customers, no one minded. (The photo is actually from the Great Scott's patio, not IHOP's, but same difference.)

Finally I talked to Baba, and we reflected together. She is 70, but just as disturbed to have me turn 60 as Nonny is. She reminded me that our father was 67 when he died -- that seems so young now! And then I thought about our oldest sister, who was 61 when she took her own life. Now *that* seems young. Crazy crazy young. And yet, at the time, almost 15 years ago, I remember thinking she was pretty old, she'd lived quite a bit of her life. Something that I do not feel about myself at age 60. I have so many more things to do.

Of course, I have 12-year-old twins. It's really important that I stick around a lot longer to raise them. In 20 years, when they're 32 and I turn 80, I can be old. But not now.

It's a very weird time to be alive -- 130,000 deaths from Covid-19 in America as of today. So many more to come. I am trying not to be one of them. Having survived so far makes me feel very lucky to be 60 years old.