Kind of low

It's not that it was a terrible week, it's just that I'm feeling kind of low, as I always do after Rocket Boy goes back to St. Louis. I'm coming out of it, but it takes a while. I have to give myself time to feel better. If I push myself too hard, I start to feel desperate and then I may take it out on the kids. Have to remember to be kind to myself and then kind to them.

We had some more snow -- not a huge dump, about 3 inches. And there was another small snow, maybe an inch. Yesterday (Sunday) we were supposed to get more, but it turned out to be just a few flurries. The twins and I were trying to make rock candy and we kept looking out the windows and seeing flakes falling, but there was no accumulation. There's still an enormous amount of snow on the lawn from the previous snows, but it looks like we won't get any more this week, which is a relief.

Rocket Boy left last Tuesday, and the kids really wanted to stay home from school to see him off (he was catching the 12:40 bus to the airport). Kid B begged me to let him miss his morning classes. I said absolutely not, and Kid B accepted that, but Kid A insisted he was sick -- his tummy hurt, etc. I said no, you're faking it, get out of bed. We drove the kids to school, so they could have those last few minutes with Dad, Kid A snuffled all the way there, coughing and crying, and Rocket Boy kept saying, "He sounds sick! Shouldn't we keep him home?" When we reached the middle school, I stayed in the car while RB walked the kids to the door. Soon he was back, with Kid A. "I really think he's sick," he told me, and I said fine. I didn't want to end the visit by yelling at Rocket Boy. "OK," I told Kid A. "No screens of any sort, and don't bother Dad, he has a lot of stuff to get done before 12:40." As we drove home, Kid A's snuffling and coughing ceased, and he started laughing and saying silly things. Of course, he wasn't even the tiniest little bit sick. And I felt terrible for having made Kid B go to school.

I joked about what it would be like if I were the one working in St. Louis, while Rocket Boy tried to take care of the twins in Boulder. "Every day you'd be, like, 'Oh Dad, my tummy hurts,' and Dad would say, 'Oh, OK, you can stay home,' and you'd never go to school!" Kid A agreed that's how it would be, and so did a somewhat embarrassed Rocket Boy. He worked the rest of the morning on projects, and then Kid A walked him to the bus stop to say goodbye.

Parent-teacher conferences were this week and the parents bring food for the teachers' dinner (since they have no time to go home and eat). I had signed up to bring lemon bars on Thursday, and I spent most of the day making and cooling them, but they turned out pretty well. I took Kid A for conferences that night and got some good information from his teachers.

Our big white cat Chester had been behaving a little oddly for a few days, jumping in and out of the litter box to pee and then licking himself frantically. He'd also had terrible diarrhea. With the weekend approaching and thoughts of expensive emergency vet visits on my mind, I decided to be proactive and take him to our regular vet on Friday. I had set up the cat carrier in the living room ahead of time, but while I was trying to force Chester into it, he reached out and managed to claw my handmade seasonal tablecloth half off the coffee table, thus wrecking part of the puzzle we were making. In fact, when we got to the vet, I noticed that two or three sections of the puzzle had actually dropped into the cat carrier with him! Fortunately he didn't pee in the carrier, as he usually does. He did that while the vet was examining him, making it impossible for her to get a urine sample (he peed onto a towel). She couldn't find anything wrong with him, but we ordered some antibiotics for the diarrhea anyway, and she also sent me home with some probiotic powder to mix with his food. I've been giving the powder to him and Pie at lunchtime -- it has a yeasty smell and the cats find it delicious.

The puzzle had been driving the kids and me crazy because (a) it was too hard, (b) it was too big for the coffee table, and (c) the pieces were too much like the colors of the seasonal tablecloth. A puzzle should be made on a light or otherwise neutral background -- a dark background is OK if the puzzle is light. So after Chester destroyed part of our work, I decided to give up on the puzzle (I checked with the kids and they had no objections). I packed it away in the closet and then put a lighter-colored cloth on top of my seasonal cloth, and pulled out a new, easier puzzle to work on. We've already made a lot of progress on it.

At the parent-teacher conferences last Thursday I asked each of Kid A's teachers how he could improve his grade in the class. His science teacher pointed out that each unit in their curriculum includes an optional extra credit project, which Kid A and Kid B have been ignoring. For the current unit, they can make rock candy at home. "You have until next Friday," she told Kid A, so yesterday we got down to work. The first try failed -- no crystals had formed after seven hours -- so we reboiled the solution and added more sugar, and now it seems to be working. This is the third time I've made rock candy with the kids -- 1st time it worked, 2nd time it didn't -- and I'm definitely tired of it, but hey, anything for a little extra credit.

What else is going on? I try to stay up with the news, but also keep it at arm's length if it starts to get to me. I was pleased to read in the New York Times this morning that Harvey Weinstein was convicted of his crimes, at least some of them, but I had to stop reading the comments after one from a young man who "just didn't understand" why women would continue to have sex with Weinstein after he raped them, and also said, "women aren't children and we shouldn't treat them like children," as if acknowledging that women have suffered trauma is "treating them like children."

I'm also watching the results of the Democratic caucuses/primaries, and I'm horrified that Bernie Sanders is so far ahead. Maybe the Super Tuesday voting will change things around. I've already voted in Colorado's primary -- I voted for Elizabeth Warren, but I'd be happy if Klobuchar, Biden, Buttigieg, or even Bloomberg were the nominee. Just not Sanders, please not Sanders. To me he is like the leftist version of Trump, despite all these columnists who keep saying he isn't. People are following him mindlessly, eating up his charisma and unrealistic proposals just like those on the right follow Trump mindlessly and eat up all the ridiculous things he says. My beloved mainstream media keeps pointing out how Bernie's proposals won't work, and his fans keep crying foul at the truth. That's Trumpism, the leftist version of it. Again, I can't pay too much attention to this or I can't function.

So enough of that for now. The new week has begun, and I'm still feeling low, but we just keep going. On the agenda for the week: more parent-teacher conferences on Tuesday, this time with Kid B, and I have to make a fruit salad for that night's dinner (should go buy the fruit this afternoon, I think). I also want to finish our taxes -- maybe it would be more accurate to say I want the taxes to be finished, but no one's going to do them but me. I'm almost done anyway. I'll keep watching Chester for signs of illness -- and Pie Bear, for signs of needing to be put to sleep. I finished a couple of books this weekend, looking forward to starting a new one tonight. I know what we're having for dinner tonight -- not sure about tomorrow. And there's always the new puzzle to work on, if I can't manage to do anything else. Hope everyone has a good week.