Back to a family of three

Well, our long-awaited, much-anticipated seven full days (plus two travel days) with Rocket Boy are over. Today is one of those travel days and he's already back in St. Louis -- I just got a text saying his plane has landed. So now he'll resume his life there. And man, I am just so sad.

I'll get over it, of course. This depression doesn't feel like it's going to be super long-lasting. Hmm. I guess it kind of depends on what the weather decides to do the next few weeks, because my moods are so responsive to whether the sun is shining. The week ahead is predicted to have plenty of sunshine. That will help.

It was such an awful week! I'm being honest here, not looking on the bright side. (I'll do that in a bit.) Rocket Boy arrived last Saturday night and we were all so happy to be together. He mentioned that he felt a little under the weather, but it didn't seem like any big thing. Sunday, his first full day with us, he had a headache and took a nap in the afternoon, but that's not unusual. That night the illness took hold -- he was delirious and feverish. And Monday we spent four hours in the ER. Tuesday he felt a little better (they gave him fluids and Tamiflu), but he still spent most of the day in bed. Because he was cold, he started wearing a sweater that he found in his closet (see photo), and that I swear I'd never seen before. It zipped up, just like a Mr. Rogers sweater, and it made him look like a little old man. Christmas Eve, after the kids went to bed, I just flung the stuffers in the stockings, dragged the big Lego sets out of the garage and threw them randomly around the living room, and then we went to bed. Not a night to linger and reminisce about Christmasses past.

Wednesday -- Christmas morning -- he and I both woke up before the twins did, but when they got up, he turned over and went back to sleep. So I did present-opening alone with the twins, just as if RB were in St. Louis. The kids were happy, but subdued. Only Chester seemed really excited about his present (this was supposed to be for Pie Bear, but Mr. Fluffypants found it highly entertaining). For the first time ever, we opened presents one by one, each of us watching the others open their gifts. Another thing I noticed -- there were almost no complaints. The only thing mentioned was that there weren't enough packages to open. (Remember this for next year! Wrap up anything, just so there's more to open!) Only later did I hear that the warm fuzzy throw I got for Kid A was actually smaller than he'd wanted, and the Lego set I got him wasn't his first choice. Over the past year, a certain level of maturity seems to have occurred. Is it because Rocket Boy has been gone? Or are the boys just growing up?

I can't remember which day RB started having problems with his leg, but I know we considered going back to the ER on Christmas Day. Rocket Boy has lymphedema in one leg, has had it for about 30 years, no explanation (it's usually the result of cancer treatment). Because the lymph system in that leg doesn't process fluids properly, he always has to be careful. He wears a compression stocking night and day, takes sodium selenite, exercises regularly, and watches the leg closely for cuts and abrasions. When he gets a cold or flu, the leg sometimes reacts. This time, after the flu symptoms got better, the leg started getting red and painful, a possible sign of cellulitis (which can be extremely serious). He finally went to an Urgent Care place, on Friday, where the doctor told him his leg might be reacting to the fluids he was given when he was in the ER. The doc gave him a diuretic and told him not to take it at night because it would dehydrate him too much. So RB took it right before bedtime and woke up on Saturday with a terrible headache, but with the leg somewhat improved.

Rocket Boy had so many plans for his visit (as did I). He wanted to take the kids on various outings. He wanted to fix things. He wanted to clean things. But for the most part, whatever didn't get done on December 22nd, didn't get done. He did manage to spend some time working on the lights on the house, all of which had died except one little string of white incandescent lights. He bought several boxes of LED lights on sale and put some green ones on the house (see photo at top). The rest will have to wait for next year. Yesterday, the last full day of his visit, he spent most of his time putting together a device that will gradually light up in the morning, waking the kids up gently (he has one in his basement in St. Louis that he built and the kids had asked for one of their own). It looks sort of like a puffy white cloud. He got it all set up last night, sure it would work, but instead it came on during the middle of the night and turned itself off at 3 am (according to Kid A, who was awakened by it). So, RB spent some more time fixing it this morning before catching his bus to the airport. And that was our Christmas.

OK, time for the bright side. We got to spend seven full days together as a family. Rocket Boy and I spent more time together than we might otherwise have done, because he was lying in bed most of the time (including a hospital bed) instead of taking the kids on outings. None of us has really caught what he had, although Kid B has a mild cold. We all got along well together, no fights worth mentioning. And life goes on.

We're planning to skip January travel and bring him back here for an extended President's Day weekend in February. So January will, as usual, be a time for hibernation. And reading, lots of reading. It'll be OK. We'll survive. I just have a big ache in my heart -- not really because Christmas was spoiled, because who cares about that. But having him be sick reminded me of how old we both are, how our time together and with the kids is finite. I'm so glad he's enjoying his work, getting this last chance to use his marvelous brain and earn some good money. I just wish he weren't so far away.