Getting ready for the trip

Yes, I am posting a day earlier than usual, because we are supposed to leave on our spring break trip tomorrow. Only one problem: we don't have a car! Rocket Boy needs some body work done on the Highlander, our big car that we take on trips. He got a call from the garage last week and they said the part had come in, so he should bring in the car and they'd fix it up right away. He got his dad's old Montero running, so he'd have a way to get to work, and then we dropped the Highlander off at the shop. 

Thursday the mechanic called and said the part doesn't fit, so they'll have to reorder. Rocket Boy explained that we were leaving Sunday and needed the car back. No problem, they'll put the car back together and we can pick it up Saturday. Today, around 11:30, we were waiting for them to call. I said to RB, "You should call them. Don't they close at 12?" So he called. They'd forgotten all about us. "When are you leaving on your trip?" the receptionist asked. "TOMORROW!" "Oh...." Supposedly now they're putting the car back together. It's 1:04 pm. 

...

OK, we're back and we have the car! So one disaster is averted. We have a car. We have a lot of cash, more than we'll need, I'm sure. I like to have $100 per day, just in case something goes wrong with our credit cards. So I currently have $838 in bills stashed away (enough for the 7 days of the trip plus one extra), plus 15 quarters, 8 dimes, 5 nickels, and 20 pennies. I did have 42 pennies, but I decided that was silly, so I put 22 of them in my penny glass. If I come back home with a lot of cash I'll use some of it to pay the cat sitters (12 visits x $15 = $180), and the rest I'll spend gradually. Lots of places around here like it when you pay in cash, so it'll all get used eventually.

I have physical maps for the trip. I went to AAA and got a Central Sates & Provinces map, an Arkansas & Oklahoma map, a Kentucky & Tennessee map, an Illinois & Indiana map, and a Kansas & Missouri map. Plus we have lots of Colorado maps. Just in case the GPS stops working! 

We have reservations for six nights in hotels and I have all the confirmation numbers written down. Sunday night we are staying at the Northwest Inn in Woodward, Oklahoma. Monday night we are staying at the Best Western Winners Circle in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Tuesday night we are staying at the Relax Inn & Suites in Kuttawa, Kentucky. Wednesday night we are staying at the La Quinta Inn & Suites in Evansville, Indiana. Thursday night we are staying at the Best Western Plus Columbia Inn in Columbia, Missouri. Friday night we are staying at the Sleep Inn & Suites in Hays, Kansas. And Saturday night we should be home! 

***

This was birthday week, of course, and we made it through that, although it wasn't easy. My sisters sent cards and generous checks -- the last checks, since in our family we cut off presents at age 18. Our next door neighbor gave them $15 each and Rocket Boy and I gave them $20 each (we figured the average was close to $18). And of course I transferred their social security money to them. And that was it. I didn't have any other presents for them. Nothing to unwrap, no gift bags to open. Truly the worst I have ever done with birthdays. How is it possible that I do not know what to get them? I'm their mother, I should know! But I don't.

On Friday a package arrived for Teen B. He orders things for himself from time to time, so I just handed him the box, no questions asked. Later I found the wrappings in the trash. He bought himself a new phone! I looked at his bank account online and it cost over $700! But he has (or had) almost $15,000 (the social security money plus all the birthday and Christmas money he's saved all these years), so heck, why not?

I bought these two terrible cakes from King Soopers for the birthday (I tried one of the fancier places I had thought of, but they didn't have anything, so I just gave up and went to KS). Both cakes were on sale, presumably because they were old, one for $7.50 and one for $5.40. COULD I have been any chintzier? I don't think so. I wrote "Happy 18th" on the white cake with an old tube of black icing that I found in the cupboard. (Couldn't I have bought a new tube of icing? Apparently not.) Soon after this picture was taken, the black icing began to run (probably from the heat of 18 candles plus one to grow on), and formed a black blob in the middle of the cake. When we cut the cake, the blackness dripped onto its innards, making it look moldy. Neither boy would then touch it. Rocket Boy and I each had a piece, while we watched the NewsHour. It wasn't very good.

We ate out both Sunday and Monday nights, since we couldn't eat out Saturday night (because of the musical) and of course Monday was the birthday. Sunday night Teen A chose BJ's, which is always fine, and Monday night Teen B chose the Teahouse, so that was fun. I had a delicious Mediterranean salad. Rocket Boy told the waitress it was the twins' birthday, so she said, "Dessert's on me!" but in the end, nothing on the dessert menu appealed to them, so we just went home and had (or didn't have) the nasty King Soopers cake.

Both boys went to school as usual on their birthday and the day after, and every day this week. They're so good. Teen B had to stay until 6 pm both Monday and Tuesday, to participate in what they call the post-musical "strike," which means taking down the set and cleaning up the stage, the workshop, etc. So he was really tired on his birthday. But no complaining. My good boys.

On Wednesday I saw my doctor for my yearly physical. I had gained about six pounds since I saw her in September, but she didn't comment on that. She was very impressed by my A1c (down to 6.1) and didn't get mad at me when I told her I'd been eating mainly candy since December and not exercising very much. (Actually, looking at my notebook, I see that I went for 12 walks in February, which isn't too bad. March hasn't been so great, though. Too much wind.) My triglycerides were slightly elevated, which she attributed to my "candy diet." I told her what I'd been upset about, to cause the candy eating and lack of exercise (the diagnosis) and she was sympathetic. She did say, "Most people seem to have a little autism in them." She also encouraged me to consider therapy, or family therapy. 

I had expected her to give me some cognitive or mobility tests, which I thought began when you turn 65, but she didn't. She had a nurse-practitioner in training with her, and maybe that was part of the problem. I didn't mind. I think I'm cognitively OK, more or less, and more or less mobile.

Well, maybe this is enough of a blog post. I really should go pack my suitcase! The one issue that I haven't mentioned is that I'm sick, apparently. I have a mild sore throat, have had it since Wednesday. Teen A had the same thing last week, and after about 5 days it went away. So maybe mine will go away in a day or two. I'm just taking painkillers at night to sleep and otherwise not worrying about it. But it would be nice if I didn't have it. However, I probably won't be doing any of the driving, so I can sit in the back seat and read and maybe even nap.

Wish us luck on this epic journey! 

March madness

OMG, Daylight Saving Time! I forgot all about it, even though it always starts right before or right after the twins' birthday, so I really shouldn't. I thought DJT was going to get rid of this, along with pennies! Why can't he do anything right? Actually, I guess one proposal is to keep us on DST permanently, so next fall they might cancel God's Time, as my grandparents called it. I'd rather get rid of Daylight Saving Time and just stay on regular time. But I'll probably be outvoted.

It's March, so we had some snow this week, finally (March is traditionally our snowiest month). It snowed pretty much all day on Friday. The temperature never got much below freezing, in fact, it was above freezing most of the day -- 33 or 34 degrees, mostly. So the snow was very wet and it didn't stick to the roads at all. Still, we ended up with some accumulation on the lawn. I just tried to find the official total and it said 3.3 inches. I think it was more than that, but it's hard to say. It's basically all gone now, though. Melted into the earth -- which could really use it.

Well, it's Sunday, so the musical is over. There were dress rehearsals on Monday (I brought a dreadful vegan casserole to the dinner) and Tuesday, Wednesday they performed for a bunch of middle schoolers in the morning, and then the real performances were Thursday, Friday, and two on Saturday. I spent a great deal of time driving Teen B back and forth to the school. I went to the Thursday performance alone, sat in the balcony, watched Teen B play but couldn't hear the dialogue very well. Rocket Boy and I went to the Saturday night performance together, sat about five rows from the front, and could hear everything. 

Teen B needed a white buttondown shirt and black dress pants, and he told me this on, I think, Tuesday. So that night we went shopping at Target and actually found exactly what we needed. I washed the pants and shirt on Wednesday night, Thursday night, and Friday night, and I'll wash them again tomorrow (but he doesn't need to wear them again until their next concert, which is probably in late April).

It was great -- as always, they did a wonderful job. But I must say, I didn't like the musical itself (Chicago) very much. It's "satirical," which means nasty. There were no appealing characters, no one you could sympathize with except perhaps the Hungarian woman whom no one could understand and so she got hanged. Almost everyone wore black. All but one of the girls were in skimpy, revealing outfits the entire time, even when they were playing reporters. I think of musicals as happy plays with happy endings. I *guess* this has a happy ending, with Velma and Roxie out of jail and performing in vaudeville, but since Velma and Roxie are both nasty people, why should I care if they succeed? And this is the longest-running American musical in Broadway history, according to Wikipedia. Why?

When the performance ended on Saturday night, the choir director came out and thanked various people who helped (including me, for bringing food). Then she asked all the seniors involved in the musical to form a line at the front of the stage. Teen B climbed out of the orchestra pit along with everyone else and went to the end of the line. They were each given a (real) red rose. Teen B stood there, awkwardly, holding his rose, and I burst into tears. I'm so glad he was able to participate, last year and this year. I think I'm going to miss high school more than the twins will. 

But we have college to think about. Teen B has now gotten into all three of the schools he applied to, so he needs to decide which one to attend and we need to put down that deposit. We should put down Teen A's deposit too. After spring break, I'll think about that. I need to find out how to get money out of their college savings accounts to pay for all this. 

***

We've got one more week until spring break and I'm busily planning our ridiculous trip. I went to Barnes & Noble and got a Lonely Planet travel book called American South, which reminded me that we are, in fact, going to be touring the south. Oklahoma isn't included in the book -- I couldn't find a travel book that mentioned Oklahoma, lol. But the other states -- Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky -- they're in there. They're called the Upper South.

It's going to be weird to be going through the South when we're so furious at Trump for everything (and of course that's where his supporters live). I suppose we'll have to watch Fox News in every hotel breakfast room. I wonder what they'll have to say about the war in the Middle East. 

For a few years now, for each spring break trip (and some others), I've made a little booklet on the computer, one page for each day of the trip, with all the information I know -- hotel reservations with address, phone, and confirmation numbers, suggestions of where to eat lunch and dinner, our activities for the day, and highway numbers. I print this out and staple it together and keep it in my purse, so even if our phones don't work, we'll have hard copies of the plans. I also plan to go to AAA this week and get some physical maps. We're going to be in some out of the way places, don't want to have to depend on the internet.

I've been working on this for a few days now, have four days planned, four hotel reservations made. Three more days to go (two more hotels). I try to do one each day. I think this is going to be a frustrating trip. We'll be driving so much, there'll be hardly any time to relax and enjoy ourselves. But, you know, Teen A really likes to drive, so he'll get us to all the places we need to go.

We're going to drive through Okeene, Oklahoma, where my great-grandparents (father's mother's parents) acquired a farm back in the late 1800s. I don't know how to find the farm, but I have directions to the cemetery where they're buried (I've been there once), so I'm going to try to take us there.

Then, on another day, we're going to drive past the little town of Eddyville, Kentucky, in fact, we're going to stay in a hotel very near there. And I realized that some of my ancestors lived there, too. It was longer ago, and I don't have very good information about them, but I found the grave of a sister of my great-great-grandfather (mother's father's father's father) in the old Eddyville Cemetery, Riverview. So I'm going to try to go there and look at the grave. We may not have time -- we'll be on our way to Mammoth Cave, and we have cave tour reservations for 2:30 that afternoon. We'll just see how quickly we can get moving that morning.

Of course, Daylight Saving Time. Not to mention, we'll be on Central Time. So nobody is going to want to get up early. Sigh. Maybe I could take the car and go look by myself, before everyone else gets up!

***

Well, I should stop here, because it's already 5 pm (stupid new time) and Teen B and I haven't spent any time on his homework. But first I'm going to go for a walk. I haven't walked for several days, and I see my doctor on Wednesday. I'd like to be able to tell her I've been exercising regularly. I am really happy about my bloodwork results. My good cholesterol, the HDL, went up to 56, which is higher than I think it's ever been. They like it to be at least 60, but I'm usually in the 40s, so 56 is great.

And my A1c is down to 6.1, despite basically living on candy the last three months. I was SURE it would go up, not down. I almost can't believe this result. I'm on a lower dose of Mounjaro, I've gained back some of the weight, I've been eating candy like it's going out of style, and my A1c went down (not very much -- it was 6.2 in September, but it was 6.4 last March). I'm happy about that. 

Next week I won't post on Sunday, because that's the day we leave. I'll try to write a short post on Saturday, and then a longer post the following Sunday, when we're home again. 

Post-note: I forgot to mention the twins' 18th birthday! Which is tomorrow! I am so unprepared for this birthday, it is beyond belief. We ate out tonight and will eat out tomorrow -- each boy got to choose one of the nights. Teen A chose BJ's for tonight and Teen B wants to go to the Teahouse tomorrow.  

Tomorrow morning I will go to the bank and transfer all their social security money to their savings accounts, so that will be done (other than a few more payments that may come to me). And then I'll buy some birthday cards and maybe decorations and get a cake from somewhere. I haven't even figured out the cake yet! What is wrong with me? OK, I just looked up where to buy a cake in Boulder and I found three places that sell specialty cakes and might have some available if I just show up tomorrow morning (because OF COURSE I forgot to order anything ahead of time). And of course there's always King Soopers, but it would be nice to get something a little fancier for their 18th. And really I should get a cake for each boy. I'll see what I can find.

OMG. I am such a failure as a mother. No, I know I'm not really, but I am a birthday failure, that is for darned sure. OK, we'll see how it goes. Wish me luck. 

Thank goodness it's March

This is not my usual attitude toward the beginning of March, but last month was so hard that I'm looking for a new start, and March will have to be it. 

I usually don't like March because (a) the twins' birthday, which is hard for me, (b) my father was born and died in March, (c) I'm often still frantically trying to finish the taxes, and (d) crummy weather. This year the taxes are done and the weather shows no signs of doing much of anything. I still have to live through the anniversaries of my father's birth and death, so there's that. 

And then there's the twins' birthday, which has me baffled this year. The main thing I know I have to do on the 9th is turn over their social security accounts to them. Teen B has $12,845 in his and Teen A has $10,909 (I've taken money out of his to buy him a computer, and to pay for the car accident, court costs, a speeding ticket, a parking ticket, etc., and both of them have been getting a $20/week allowance out of it, so this is what's left after that). That means giving them money as presents is going to feel sort of ridiculous. But what else? I've thought of giving them silly presents, like Lego sets, but I don't know. Spending money on stuff they won't use, just to be sweet and funny... not sure I'm into that. Their birthday is a Monday, which is dumb. I suppose we might celebrate it on Sunday. I could make a couple of cakes. I just don't know what to do. I don't suppose it matters a lot.

I'm actually really ready for them to grow up and move on. Part of the misery over Teen B's diagnosis is the thought that he won't do that. But I think I'm starting to come around. What's been very stressful for a long time is thinking about him growing up and then running into a sort of brick wall in my mind because I can't imagine him doing [whatever]. Now I'm starting to think, OK, he's probably not going to do that, or at least not right away, so don't worry about it. We'll take things slowly.

Teen A, on the other hand, is racing away into adult life as fast as he can go, and that makes me feel better about Teen B (i.e., at least one of them is going to grow up). It also, of course, makes me worry, because when you're going really fast there's a greater chance that you'll crash, perhaps literally. On bad days I imagine Teen A getting into a terrible car crash and ending up paralyzed, in a wheelchair, at home forever more with me looking after him.

Why do people have children? Such a bother. Of course, they say fewer and fewer people ARE having them. You can kind of see why.

***

We had a fire yesterday, up in the hills above Chautauqua. Teen A and I were driving downtown to pick up the pants for his suit which had come in at Men's Wearhouse, when he said to me, "There's a fire." "Where?" I looked around. "Right there, mom," he said, gesturing to his left. And there was a huge plume of smoke. Great. I opened the "Watch Duty" app on my phone and sure enough, the Bluebell Fire. 

It turned out not to be a big deal, no neighborhoods had to be evacuated, and they got the whole thing put out by the end of the day. But I thought it was sweet: the people who DID have to be evacuated were the hikers on the trails above Chautauqua. According to the fire chief (I watched his press conference), there were "hundreds of people on the trails." It was a nice sunny day, of course everyone was out hiking. I had thought about doing that too. The rangers had to go running up all the trails and get everyone down. According to the fire chief, people were very cooperative. Oh, Boulder.

Of course, the fire may have been arson, or possibly someone throwing down a smoldering cigarette or something like that. We won't know for a while, I guess. 

We got Teen A's pants (Men's Wearhouse had lost them, but eventually they turned up), so now his suit is ready. We just need a pink tie (his girlfriend's dress is pink). I looked at pink ties on the Macy's website and texted him some possible ones later. He showed them to his girlfriend and she approved them, but she said don't buy anything, I might get a different dress. That amused me. TWO prom dresses? I guess for a once in a lifetime thing like prom, you might want to go all out. As long as Teen A doesn't want to get a different suit.

For dinner, we (well, Rocket Boy) decided it would be fun to drive up north on I-25 to Johnson's Corner and go to the Black Bear Diner (the chain that has taken over the old Johnson's Corner restaurant that we used to go to in the old days, on our way to Wyoming). It's 40 miles from here, but Teen A was happy to drive. We first ate at a Black Bear Diner three years ago on our spring break trip to Arizona and we had such a good experience there that we always want to go again, even though the food is really not that good. 

It was fun, although Teen B complained quite a bit. Rocket Boy reminded him that we will be doing a lot of driving on our spring break trip in a few weeks, so this was practice. Hmm. I really need to get busy planning that trip. I haven't even asked the cat sitters if they'll be available. Should do that today.

Teen B thinks he doesn't want to take this trip we're (sort of) planning. "Where are we going again?" he asked me. "Mammoth Cave, in Kentucky!" I said, trying to make it sound exciting. "KenTUCKy! Why do we have to go to Kentucky?" he asked in horror. "We're also going to Oklahoma and Arkansas," I told him, trying to take the emphasis off Kentucky. "And we're going to stop off in St. Louis on the way back, see Manny, go to Fitz's." "But KenTUCKy!" he went on, unable to leave that alone. "You can stay home, you know," I told him. "You'll be 18, it's legal. You can take care of the cats." He gave me a look.

I don't know about this trip. It does sound a little ridiculous. But it might be the last, or one of the last, family trips we ever take together, so we might as well do it.

***

So, the week ahead looks very complicated, mainly because of the musical. Tomorrow, Monday, I have to make a vegan entree and deliver it to the school by 3:45 pm. I had several bad dreams about that last night, lol. I'll also have to come up with something for dinner, for me and Rocket Boy and possibly Teen A (he's sometimes home for dinner, sometimes not). And then pick up Teen B around 8:30.

Tuesday is another rehearsal day, so Teen B will be home very late again. I'll probably get fish for me and Rocket Boy for dinner.

Wednesday is late start except that Teen B has to be at school early, so it's not late start for him. I'll take him and then go on to Boulder Medical Center and get blood work done (for my appointment the next week). Then Teen A has a haircut at 11, but he can drive himself, I'll just give him the money. It'll be a normal dinner, with everyone home. I might make Brenda's sticky tofu.

Thursday is the first night of the play, which means that I'll have to get Teen B to the school by 6 pm, which means I'll need to feed him (and myself) around 5 pm. But feed us what? Then I'll attend the play at 7 and come home around 10 pm with Teen B... and feed Rocket Boy? I think he can feed himself, lol, or maybe whatever Teen B and I eat at 5 pm will have leftovers.

Friday will be a repeat of Thursday, except that Rocket Boy will bring Lenten Fish Fry dinners from some Catholic church, so I'll just have to feed Teen B at 5 pm and RB and I can eat later.

Saturday I'll have to get Teen B to the school by 1 pm (I think), pick him up again around 4:30, have a quick dinner of some sort, take him back at 6 pm, we'll watch the musical from 7 to 10, come home, and collapse. We'll eat out on Sunday instead of Saturday. And I suppose it should be a birthday-ish dinner, since their birthday is that Monday. OMG.

I'm getting stressed thinking about this, but at the same time it should be really fun, because the musical is fun and exciting. All I need to do is not get upset about things, do my best to smooth over any rough edges, make life easy for everyone else. Hmm.

I've been so depressed the last few weeks, even after getting the taxes done early, even after finally getting those stupid social security forms in last week. I honestly spent most of the month in bed. After getting the kids to school and the cats fed and breakfast eaten and the laundry started each day, I would climb back into bed and read. This is how I managed to read 13 books in 28 days, some of them long and difficult (some of them were mysteries, though). I also ate a lot of chocolate. Well, that's what I do in February, even on this drug.

Later I would get up and make whatever I had to make for the school dinners. Brownies on Monday (I actually made them on Sunday), fruit salad on Tuesday (that turned out well), and raspberry lemon bars on Wednesday. And put away the laundry. And make dinner for us. I did what I had to do. I remember my mother, when she was depressed, spending the day in bed, but she always got up and made dinner. 

I did not go for any walks all last week. My last walk was on February 22nd, last Sunday.

I try to be good to myself when I'm depressed. I know it doesn't help to yell at myself. I try to be kind. Wouldn't you like to go for a walk today? I say, rather than, "Come on, you lazy bum, get out of bed and go get some exercise!" But I didn't want to go for a walk (even though walking might have made me feel better), so I didn't go.

This week, despite the craziness, I am going to try to find time for walks. But if I don't, that's OK too. Just keep going, keep trying.

Oh, and now we apparently are at war. I can't even process that, it's so weird. There was a protest today about that, downtown. We didn't go. After the musical, after the birthday, after the spring break trip, I'll think about what's going on in the world. Unless the world comes to me first, which could happen. We'll see.