Reading post: December

It's the last day of December, so it's time for a reading post. I will also do an end of year recap of EVERYTHING at the beginning of January, so in a couple of days.

I started with a couple more books recommended by the New Yorker, one from my "Briefly Noted" envelopes and one from an article I recently read. 

Between Two Worlds: How the English Became Americans by Malcolm Gaskill (2014). I wish I could say this was interesting, but it wasn't. Something about the author's writing style was excruciatingly boring and hard to follow. Still, I kept going. It worked well as bedtime reading, putting me to sleep night after night. Finally I finished it, right before Christmas, and I was glad I'd persevered. I learned a lot about English immigration to this continent in the 1600s, and it was fun to think about what my ancestors  (who arrived in New England in 1635) were doing while such and such was going on. What a hard life and how unfortunate that they had to displace all the Indians, steal their land, and move on across America, stealing, stealing...

The other book was recommended in a recent article in the magazine ("This is Miss Lang: The brief life and forgotten legacy of a remarkable American poet" by Anthony Lane, Oct. 20, 2025). Lang sounded interesting, so I requested a book of her work from Prospector.

Poems and Plays by V. R. Lang, with a Memoir by Alison Lurie (1975). Violet Ranney "Bunny" Lang was a poet and playwright and actress and director and various other things who was born in 1924 and died very young of cancer in 1956. The memoir by Alison Lurie is the best part of the book -- Bunny sounds like a fascinatingly annoying person -- but I did like some of the poems, especially this one, which is so sweet it's almost worth memorizing:

A Lovely Song for Jackson

If I were a seaweed at the bottom of the sea,
I'd find you, you'd find me.
Fishes would see us and shake their heads
Approvingly from their submarine beds.
Crabs and sea horses would bid us glad cry,
And sea anemone smile us by.
Sea gulls alone would wing and make moan,
Wondering, wondering, where we had gone.

If I were an angel and lost in the sun,
You would be there, and you would be one.
Birds that flew high enough would find us and sing,
Gladder to find us than for anything,
And clouds would be proud of us, light everywhere
Would clothe us gold gaily, for dear and for fair.
Trees stretching skywards would see us and smile,
And all over heaven we'd laugh for a while.
Only the fishes would search and make moan,
Wondering, wondering, where we had gone. 

Isn't that nice? I don't think you often find those words written or spoken: "If I were a seaweed..." 

 

Best books of the 21st century so far

Conveniently, my book group chose a book on this list to read this month. And another book on the list was a Christmas book! And another was something I really wanted to read. So I ended up reading three more books on the list, which brought me to 60 out of 100, and that's it for me and this list. Well, maybe someday I'll read the Wolf Hall trilogy. And maybe the Roberto Bolaño books on the list when I do a Latin American literature year. And maybe a few of the others. But mostly I'm done.

Tenth of December by George Saunders (2013). A few years back I convinced my book group to read Saunders' Lincoln in the Bardo, which everybody basically hated. Even me, who had so very much wanted to read it. So I was nervous about this book, but it wasn't my idea, so I was off the hook. Saunders has been widely praised, and I see where the hype is coming from. But I just hated some of these stories. I think there were only one or two that I honestly liked, and they all had something icky about them. But, on the other hand, even the ickiest ("Puppy") had something to recommend it. So I don't know. I guess he's great. And I guess I don't have to read anything else by him ever again.

Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan (2020). I had wanted to read this for a while, but it was always checked out. Finally I requested it, during this last month of the year. And so appropriate -- it's a Christmas book! The best kind of Christmas book, the kind that earns its heartwarmingness. The main character, a 40-year-old coal deliverer in Ireland, rescues a young woman from the nuns, even though doing so may put his own family in jeopardy. "The fact was that he would pay for it but never once in his whole and unremarkable life had he known a happiness akin to this..." It's sad, but wonderful too.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro (2005). This has been an Ishiguro year for me, because my book group read The Unconsoled and Teen B and I read Klara and the Sun for his language arts class. This one is thought by some to be his best book, but I don't know. It's the story of a friendship among doomed people, but one of the three is so nasty that perhaps I wasn't as captivated by the story as I might have been. It's science fiction, or at least "speculative," but one thing I kept thinking was that it's as though the kids are Black people born into slavery. I've also read them compared to farm animals. So if you think about the book that way, it's really sad. I'll probably be thinking about this book for a while.

 

Other reading

ESP Wars East & West: An Account of the Military Use of Psychic Espionage as Narrated by the Key Russian and American Players by Edwin C. May, Victor Rubel, Joseph W. McMoneagle, and Loyd Auerbach. In October I read an interesting book about the military use of ESP (Phenomena). While reading about that book online, I came across a very negative review by someone who said this book was better (more fair to the subject). So I thought, OK, I'll read it. But it's awful. So badly written (having four authors might be part of the problem), so boring. Almost no new interesting ESP stories, just the same ones I read in Phenomena. The one study mentioned that piqued my interest was one about whether people can sense that someone is looking at them from behind, but they didn't give any details about it. Your library probably doesn't have this (I had to get it from Prospector). Your library is smart.

 

Spent by Alison Bechdel. A few weeks ago I was reviewing what I'd read all year and realized I hadn't read any graphic novels! So I got a few from the library. I love Alison Bechdel, but I struggled with Spent a little. It's a novel, although Bechdel and her real-life wife are characters in it -- but they're a little different. For instance, they run a pygmy goat sanctuary in Vermont, which they apparently do not do in real life, and they live down the road from a commune inhabited by aging versions of characters in Bechdel's Dykes to Watch Out For. The characters are so far left they are about to fall off the edge, and despite being a leftist myself, I found them annoying. But that's part of the point -- they annoy each other. At the end, the group is watching birds, and the nonbinary offspring of two of the people makes reference to "the woodcocks assigned male at birth," and I thought, "Jesus Christ!" and then I realized it was a joke, and a lot of similar comments were jokes too. The character isn't joking, but Bechdel is. Donald Trump would hate every page of this book, so I tried hard to like it a lot -- and mostly succeeded.

 

The Fire Never Goes Out: A Memoir in Pictures by Noelle Stevenson. Another graphic book, grabbed at the same time I grabbed Spent, but this was not really worth reading. Oh, I suppose a young person, late teens or 20s, might find it enlightening. The author is in her mid to late 20s, musing about her "past," which always seems so ridiculous to me. On and on about "I was broken..." "but then I realized..." And all I can think is oh come on, you're 26 or whatever, you really think you've got it all figured out? But of course you do feel like that when you're 26. Anyway, not for me, for somebody else.

Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret by Benjamin Stevenson. A Christmas mystery! I found this at the GRB library, just sitting on the shelf, so of course I grabbed it. It was fun -- 24 chapters, each corresponding to the window of an advent calendar. And it was unusual because it was set in Australia, so it was really hot and sunny (of course, it was fairly warm and sunny HERE this year in late December, but we won't dwell on that). But it was also sort of boring. I never really got into it. Fortunately it was very short. And I did solve part of the mystery, which was fun -- I don't think most people would have solved it, but one of the clues fed right into my experience, so I figured it out.

 

Transitions: A Mother's Journey by Elodie Durand, translated from the French by Evan McGorray. Another graphic novel, this one about a French mother whose child transitions from female to male. It was mildly interesting, going into detail about how the mother feels, how she tries to understand but is also so angry. What was truly interesting was all the stuff included about animals (the mom is a biologist, so she knows this sort of thing). For example, all clownfish (like Nemo) are male unless the mom dies, and then within a couple of months the dad clownfish becomes female, and then one of the babies becomes the new dad, forming a sexual relationship with his old dad who is now female. Fascinating.

 

The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz. So I finished the year's reading with a self-help book -- appropriate for going into the new year. This was an interesting book. Instead of suggesting ways to schedule all your time, the authors focus on scheduling breaks, times to recharge so that you have plenty of energy to face your life. I wonder if the FlyLady has read this book, because Loehr and Schwartz's "rituals" reminded me of her idea of setting up "routines" to get your housework done. Both FlyLady and L&S feel that we don't have the energy to be constantly reinventing the wheel, you have to have these "routines" or "rituals" in place so that you don't have to use energy to think about what to do next. This book had a lot of good ideas which I hope I do not immediately forget, because I think I can make use of them in the new year.

 

What Comes Next?

I had thought that in 2026 I would do another themed reading year -- maybe Latin American literature, maybe German literature... Or, another idea that I'm considering is to do some historical years, read popular books from the 1910s, 1920s, 1930s, etc. 

But I changed my mind. Over and over, in my reading posts, I've said things like, "I'd like to read more of Author X," or "I'd like to read X book." And then I almost never go back and read those books. So in 2026 my plan is to read some of those works that I said I'd like to read. I've put together a ridiculously long list of books, and I've divided them up into categories. So in January I'm going to start with fiction by white authors, because January is a very white month, all that ice and snow. In February I'll move on to fiction by Black authors, since it's Black History Month. And so on.

I'm also planning to keep going with my "Briefly Noted" envelopes, maybe not every month, but here and there, and I'll add books from this past year's issues of the New Yorker, so the envelopes will always be full...

And I'll try to read a few more Presidential biographies. I'll definitely read one great massive biography of Eisenhower (already have it), but I might read two or three about Kennedy, so if I have to put off Johnson until 2027 that will be fine. There's no rush at this point, only 8 more dead presidents to go. Maybe more will die in the meantime.

Made it through Christmas!

Yes! We made it! And it's over, thank goodness. Not that I don't like Christmas, but this was one of the more challenging ones I've ever lived through. What with being sick and having to scramble at the end, and not having much of anything to wrap on account of not being able to shop due to being sick, it was not a fun time. On Christmas Eve I felt so awful I really thought maybe I needed to go to the hospital. But I couldn't put my finger on what exactly was wrong, so I kept going, and by Christmas Day I felt better. So we survived.

It's not 100% over. I never did manage to make some of the cookies I meant to make, so I've promised the kids I'll do some more baking this week. And my book group is coming on Tuesday, so I'll have to spend the next two days cleaning (while Rocket Boy is at work), and then there's New Year's Eve, for which I'll feel like I have to do something. Maybe just watch a movie. But I'll have to get more sparkling cider and snacks.

Having a honeybaked ham for Christmas was, as always, a very good idea, even if the kids are already tired of it. Tonight we're having it with green beans, tomorrow we'll have it with sweet potatoes, Tuesday the family can go out to eat, due to the book group coming, Wednesday I'll make rice ham dish, and Thursday I'll make a big pot of split pea soup with the last of the ham and we can have that on Friday too. And next Saturday we'll eat out and Sunday we'll forage, and I won't have to think about coming up with interesting things to cook until the next Monday, January 5th!

The cats had a good Christmas, I think. Their present was three little catnip mice, which they've been chasing around the house ever since the 25th. In this photo they are looking for the mice, which are already lost.

Teen A wasn't very happy with his Christmas -- he had asked for boxer shorts, at least I thought he did, but it turned out he wanted boxer briefs. I gave the boxers to his uncle, and I haven't been back to Target to get boxer briefs, but maybe this week. After the book group comes. 

Teen B just wanted regular underwear, so he was happy with his, and he also liked his new pajamas. Teen A was very scornful of his new pajamas (boxer shorts, sigh), so I'll probably give them away. 

But Teen A's heart wasn't with us -- it was with his girlfriend -- so I don't think it would have mattered what I got him. He got her something small, which we think was a piece of jewelry, and wrapped it in multiple gift bags and boxes, from a very small gift bag up to a great big box that he and Rocket Boy wrapped in pink striped paper. He hasn't told us whether she liked it or not, but we pretty much didn't see him at all yesterday (she was home from a ski trip), so you can draw your own conclusions.

Yesterday, Teen B and I had coffee with his old "mentor" from elementary school, when he was involved in something called Kids Hope. Miss Trish and he met once a week after school, mostly to play games. She was supposed to help him with his reading, but he didn't want to read, he wanted to play games, so they played games. He would bring his own games to school and she would bring games, and they would play and play. He was in that group for three years (3rd-4th-5th grades) and he and Miss Trish became very good friends. So I've kept in touch with her, and a couple of times we've managed to go out for coffee at Christmas time. She's a VERY nice person. We spent two hours chatting with her! I thought it was maybe 45 minutes. Anyway, it was lovely, and we're going to invite her to his graduation in May.

Today, Rocket Boy and I drove to Rocky Mountain National Park so that I could get a Senior Lifetime Pass. I've been eligible for three years already, but RB has a pass, so I figured I didn't need to get one too. But then we heard about what's going on the America the Beautiful passes in the new year: Trump's face! According to a ranger that Rocket Boy talked to, a LOT of people have been buying the old passes during the last few weeks, for exactly this reason. 

The thing about having a pass like this is that now I don't have to pay to get into any of the parks -- but I want to pay! They need my money! But this way I can stick a $10 bill in the donations box, things like that, but I still have my pass to get me into the park. And if we're ever really poor and can't afford to pay to get in, we'll just use our passes. It's a win-win.

After buying the pass, we drove a little ways into the park. It was so cold, in the 20s, and a terrible wind was blowing, so we didn't try to do any hiking (we did see a few people trying, being blown to bits). We barely got out of the car! 

But it was really pretty. We didn't get much snow last night, but a little, and the wind was blowing the snow around the mountain tops, very mystical looking. We kept stopping the car to take pictures, but I don't think the pics really do it justice.

Then we drove back down and on the side of a hill there was a huge herd of elk, just lying around. I think it was more than I've ever seen together. Mostly females, a few males with antlers. I suppose the females are pregnant. They give birth around May/June. They looked perfectly happy, just lying on the cold ground in big heaps. (In the photo they seem to be standing up, but just a few feet away there were a whole lot more lying down.)

We also saw lots of magpies on the trip. Magpies don't mind the cold.

Then we went to one of the visitor centers and I bought a winter hat, but it doesn't fit. Oh well. I'll give it to someone. We stopped at a cafe in Estes Park and I had hot chocolate and Rocket Boy had a cheese pizza. And then we drove back home.

***

So, the week ahead... As I mentioned above, I've got the book group coming and then New Year's, so those two things will keep me busy. Rocket Boy is going to work Monday through Wednesday, then he'll get Thursday off, and back to work on Friday. That will give me lots of time to clean and prepare (mentally) for the new year. 

I also just need to feel better! I'm still coughing horribly, although it's improving a little. But still these deep, throaty coughs, very "productive." But the stuff that's produced is clear or whitish, no sign of any infection. Just more of this weird coughing illness. So I think I'm getting better. I haven't gone for a walk in two weeks, so this coming week I'll try to walk. The weather should be good, no ice or snow -- I really have no excuse not to walk.

I haven't done any writing in December -- first the plumbing disaster, then getting sick, then Christmas... But that means I can do some writing in January and it will be fun. Have to think positively about January. There's absolutely no sign of any weather coming over the next seven days, so that's something. I've never experienced a warm, dry January (at least not since moving away from California). I wonder what it will feel like. Well, here we go!

Is it Christmas?

What a week! Last week I was fussing about Christmas being overwhelming. This week -- I don't know. This has got to be the weirdest Christmas we've ever had. Maybe it will get more normal in the days ahead. I hope so.

So, let's see. Last Sunday I was feeling overwhelmed, but was otherwise OK. I had already baked four batches of cookies (peppermint meltaways, icky Vietnamese coffee brownies, date crunch, and gingerbread cookies), gone to a bunch of special things, and of course had sent the cards and made the family calendar. So I was only a little behind. 

On Monday I woke up feeling tired. Rocket Boy went to work, the kids went to school (although Teen A, who had been coughing for days, at first said he felt too sick to go -- which is VERY unusual for him, he muscles his way through everything), and I spent the day trying to get myself to do things while feeling exhausted. I did make cookie batch number 5 (panocha squares), and maybe went to the grocery store (can't remember), but mostly I just lay around, feeling like I'd recently run a marathon. I did manage to take a walk in the late afternoon, but I was pushing myself to do it. (I have not taken a walk since then.)

The source of my fatigue became apparent on Tuesday, when I began to cough. Whatever this illness is, it mainly involves coughing. There's a little nasal involvement, but not much, and no sore throat. We think there's a little fever (we don't have a thermometer that we know how to work, so can't say for sure), some headaches and body aches, a lot of fatigue. But mostly coughing. I coughed along all day, trying to avoid coughing on the cookie I made that day (batch number 6 -- lemon butter curls -- delicious and so cute), and by evening I felt really sick. 

The kids had their first final exams on Tuesday, and by Tuesday night Teen B was saying he felt sick too (and was coughing). But on Tuesday afternoon he shooed me out of the house so that he could do his band final in private (he had to record himself playing a bunch of scales and submit it to his teacher). So, armed with cough drops, I went to Target and did some Christmas shopping. I'm sorry -- this is a blanket apology to everyone I ran into at Target -- for spreading this awful, awful illness. At least I didn't cough on anyone. Then I went to the post office to mail the German cards, stood in a long line, probably infected people...

Wednesday... hmm. I don't remember a lot about Wednesday. I dragged myself out of bed around noon to prepare to drive Teen B to school for his geology final, and he said he felt too sick to go. "You have to go," I said. "It's the final." "I can't." I was too sick to argue further. I put in an absence for him (he could always make it up on Friday) and went back to bed. It was good that I did it when I did, because around 1:45 our power went out. 

Did I mention we were having a windstorm? Dangerously high winds had been predicted for that day, and Xcel Energy had a planned power outage scheduled (to avoid setting off fires caused by dangling power lines, etc.). We were just BARELY in the area that was supposed to lose power, like two houses away from the border. But 10 am went by and we still had power, 11 am and still power -- and then 1:45 and no power. Our whole neighborhood went dark, so we think this was not actually part of the planned outage (the PSPS), we think a transformer blew. But we don't know, because our landline-which-isn't-really-a-landline-anymore went out too, even though it's supposed to stay on for a couple of days during outages (it has a generator attached to it or something). Xcel only knows our landline number, so we didn't get any messages about the outage. But apparently none of my neighbors did either, so oh well.

In bed, trying to sleep through the howling wind, I wouldn't even have noticed that the power was out, but Teen B came in and told me.

By 5 pm it was pitch black in the house, so I got up and started looking for candles. We just had a power outage a week or three ago, wouldn't you have thought I would have gotten some candles set up? Of course, we did have candles set up -- the Advent candles. And of course, the Hanukkah candles. For just a moment I hesitated. It seemed sacrilegious to use them to light the house during a power failure. And then I thought, no, it's a mitzvah. I'm not sure that's the right term, actually. I looked it up just now and it might be Aseh Doche Lo Taseh instead -- where you break a commandment for a very good reason. But what I was thinking about was many years ago when I was visiting a very religiously Jewish friend from grad school, she gave me a ride on the Sabbath, even though it was against her beliefs to operate a motor vehicle on that day. I expressed concern, and she said it was a "???" -- I think it was a mitzvah, but maybe it was this other thing -- because I was stranded and desperately needed help (I was staying with her at her parents' house in Los Angeles in order to go to a conference).

Anyway, I lit the Advent candles, even the Christ candle that isn't supposed to be lit until Christmas Eve, and we burned them all night, until we went to bed, very early, around 9 pm I think, and we also burned a lot of Hanukkah candles. 

I think Wednesday was the day Rocket Boy brought home takeout for himself and the boys from Raising Cane's, and then that was the last day he went to work. He was already coughing by then, trying to hide it from his coworkers. I paid no attention to meals during the week. Either Monday or Tuesday I made broccoli cheddar casserole, using leftover rice, and then that was it. I had no appetite, so I assumed nobody else did either. For a couple of nights I had cereal or yogurt for dinner and they had whatever they had, don't know what.

Wednesday evening before we went to bed, we all got an email saying school was canceled the next day, due to lots of schools in the district having no power. 

Thursday morning the winds were quiet, but we were all still sick. My phone was down to 50% power or maybe less. I fed the cats, went back to bed. No cookies were baked. Nothing else was done by anybody. I read some emails on my phone from my neighbors -- they were charging their devices in their cars, or they were hanging out at the Barnes & Noble in Superior which had power -- but I couldn't imagine even walking to the car, much less driving it somewhere, or even turning it on to charge my phone. Around 1:45 pm the power came back on, to our great relief. I got up, plugged my phone into the charger (it was down to about 18% power), and went back to bed. Around 5 pm we got another email from the school district telling us that all schools would be closed on Friday too. So that was it for the school year! The kids will have to take their finals when school resumes in January. So ridiculous. 

Friday, we expected to lose power again, but we didn't. The wind blew like a son of a bitch all day long, including several gusts over 100 mph. One gust, which registered at 113 mph up at NCAR, snapped off the top of our neighbor's tall spruce tree, but I was too sick to get out of bed and go look at it. It fell into the yard of our rental house. He apparently got people out to cut it up with chainsaws right away, so the whole thing had vanished by the end of the day. Today we drove by and I finally got to see it -- the top half of the tree is just gone, like someone cut it off to make a giant Christmas tree. I think the rest of the tree will survive, though.

I should note that while all this was going on, the restoration work was being done next door, and I got phone call after phone call and text after text about this, each of them waking me up. The restoration guys brought a generator with them, so they could even work during the power outage. I still haven't seen it, but this is a picture that one of the tenants took. It looks fantastic. I told them they did not need to match the floor, not important, but I think they did a pretty good job anyway. And the drywall is in, and the painting is done, and the shelves are back in place, and as far as I know, the tenants have now reinstalled their washing machine and are back in business.

The only thing still undone is the closet in front of the hot water heater, but we can't put that back into place until the inspector comes, and he's not coming until January! So that's on hold. But otherwise we're done with this stupid nightmare. Assuming insurance pays the $23,000 we owe for mitigation and abatement. Still haven't heard about that. I paid for the restoration out of pocket.

Friday night was the first night I couldn't sleep. Every other night I just passed out gratefully, but Friday night my breathing and coughing kept me up. Basically, when I lay down, even heavily propped up with pillows, my exhalations would get noisier and noisier until I started to cough. I would sit up, cough deeply, throatily, violently, get some of the mucus out, and lie down again. And a moment later, the wheezing would resume, and then the coughing, and so on. I kept waking Rocket Boy up, so finally I went out to the living room to read, and eventually was able to sleep a little while sitting up. But it was a bad night. 

I will note, though, that when I got up to move to the living room, I had this little moment of clarity. I sat up in bed, looking over at Rocket Boy's digital alarm clock (I think it was 2:30 am, something like that), and I thought, I'm so lucky! We have power, none of our trees blew over, and someday we'll all feel better. 

So. Yesterday, Saturday, Rocket Boy and I ventured downtown to buy calendars at the Boulder Bookstore, something we do every year. We also went to Rocket Fizz, on the mall, to get a Secret Santa gift for RB to bring to work tomorrow. It was the first time either of us had tried to go anywhere or do anything since the illness started, and it felt scary. I can breathe, but a week of not moving had left me weak. We did what we needed to do as quickly as possible and then hurried home to lie down again.

I was going to make another batch of cookies yesterday, but ran out of strength. We did, however, go out to eat, at BJ's. Teen B didn't feel up to it, but we went with Teen A, who is the furthest along in recovery. I was OK as long as I didn't laugh or argue, both of which trigger coughing. For several days now my coughs have been really impressive, of the "coughing up a lung" variety, the kind of cough that makes people turn and stare. So it was very bad to do this in a restaurant. I was looking up something on my phone and somehow stumbled onto a bunch of videos of people's cats jumping on their beds and knocking things over, and I started to laugh -- and then cough. Teen A made me turn my phone upside down.

Saturday night I had to sleep in the living room again and it was awful. I wonder how long this phase will last? Today I tried gargling with warm salt water, which I hadn't done before. I doesn't seem like it would reach anywhere near where the problem is, but what would?

I was going to make cookies today, but the butter and egg are still sitting on the counter (coming to room temperature). What I should do, when I finish this, is make the dough and put it in the fridge, so I can make the cookies tomorrow. Do I even have the energy to do that?

We went out to Westminster to get a honeybaked ham this afternoon, because Rocket Boy could come with me (he has to go to work tomorrow, somehow). Teen B came too, which seemed like a good sign. He and I also went to Starbucks this morning, another sign that things might be returning to normal. Starbucks was almost empty, and there was no one else in the Honeybaked Ham store when we got there. I don't know when the long line starts -- maybe two days before Christmas? I remember when we used to stand in that line for an hour. We bought a coffee cake, a small ham, and a couple of bags of rolls, and it was $105.50, which might be the reason no one else was there.

But it's done. The tree still has no ornaments on it, but Rocket Boy worked on the lights this evening (sorry about the blurry pic) and I could hang an ornament or two on it now. I'll see. Maybe tomorrow. I've gotten caught up with laundry and dishes. I'm going to make soup tomorrow and we can have that Monday and Tuesday, and then Wednesday I'll make my sister's potato dish and we can have that with the ham (we have the same thing on Christmas Eve and Christmas). And we'll get through this. It'll be fine.

And now I am going to light the Hanukkah candles and the Advent candles (I think I have another set stashed away), make that cookie dough, and maybe hang an ornament or two. Merry Christmas! 

Too much Christmas

Last week I was feeling very unChristmassy, but this week I feel overwhelmed by Christmas. It's hard to hit it just right, with this crazy holiday. I guess you just keep going, marching through the various tasks, hoping for the quiet moments when things are just right.

This was a very busy week, both with Christmas and the plumbing nightmare next door. Also with the kids' school stuff and just regular chores -- dinner, dishes, laundry, etc., etc., etc.

Plumbing Nightmare

So, the asbestos abatement was all over by Monday, and they took their equipment away. I had to nudge the restoration company to come back and set things up in the house properly, but eventually they did, although they put the bookcases back in the wrong order. The tenant texted me about that. I texted back, "Does it matter?" and she responded, "I'll make it work." So we let that go.

The plumber came back on Tuesday and was over there from roughly 3:30 until 10 pm, doing a bunch of code upgrades and putting in the new water heater. I gather it was a mess. He had promised them hot water by that evening and clearly he felt he was damned if he wasn't going to get that done. I paid him $5805 in advance and I guess he felt he had to earn his money. And now they have hot water again, and they've all moved back into the house and I was able to stop paying for the hotel after 2+ weeks. But... there's always a but... he installed the reservoir thingy so that it sticks out into the area that is supposed to be a closet. That's not how he put ours in, so we don't know why he did this. We want to ask him to come back and do it right, but first the set-up has to be inspected by the city. The plumber said the inspector would come out "in a day or two," but there has been no sign of him yet. The tenant texted me on Friday about it. I texted back, crossly, "When I hear something I will let you know." I should have called the plumber or the city on Friday but I was so stressed that I didn't.

I am going to pay for that this coming week.

The restoration company wasn't responding to my requests for information about the rebuilding process, so on Tuesday Rocket Boy called the plumbing company and basically said why did you recommend this company if they won't answer our questions? So on Wednesday I did finally hear from the restoration company. They referred us to a "builder" who called me and we set up an appointment for him to come look at the house on Thursday. I was very nervous about this, wishing Rocket Boy could be there instead of me, but I coped. I actually liked the builder quite a bit. He understood that we didn't want anything beautiful -- just a new floor under the washing machine, new drywall, put the shelves back up, etc. He said if we would pay half the cost up front he could do it quickly, on Monday and Tuesday, and we wouldn't go through insurance, which appealed to me. He called me Thursday afternoon and said it would be about $1300 (which is OK, I can handle that) but he would also send a detailed quote. And then he went silent. On Friday afternoon I emailed him and said where's the quote? but he didn't respond. Maybe I'll hear from him Monday, but clearly he's not going to start the job Monday. Meanwhile, the tenants are getting irritable, and I don't blame them. The washing machine is in the middle of the kitchen, the contents of the linen closet are all over the living room...

I will have to face all of this starting tomorrow.

School stuff

Tomorrow is the kids' last day of regular school for the semester, and then finals start on Tuesday. This seems very weird -- they've never done it like this before -- in the past, finals week was just finals week, no extra school day at the beginning. It has to do with needing to conform to the state's required number of "hours in seat" or something like that. 

Although the kids aren't taking very many classes this semester, the classes they are taking all seem to have large final projects or else really hard finals. Teen A is spending a LOT of time at his girlfriend's house, so I help him with things whenever he drops by our house, which doesn't seem like very often. We are worried about his math and physics grades... but at the same time, I'm glad he's basically taking responsibility for them. Even if he fails both classes. Even if he gets D's in both. He's owning them, and that's as it should be. Rocket Boy, of course, doesn't see it that way, and keeps trying to get Teen A to let him help him. Right now (Sunday night) they're in the living room, working on physics. Teen A keeps sighing, Rocket Boy keeps talking earnestly... OK, now Teen A is gone, off to visit his girlfriend again (although he will come back -- he's not allowed to stay over on school nights). (I wonder how much we will see him during Winter Break, lol.)

Teen B is all about getting our help, especially my help. OK, that's fine too, although I do wonder about next year. He has three finals that matter, two of which involve special projects, and then his math class with just a final, but a very hard one. Today we spent hours on math and language arts, and we're not done. One of his projects involves doing a lot of baking (see photo above). And then there's a project for his other class, which he's supposed to be working on with a classmate, but the classmate wasn't in class on Friday, and and and...

Regular chores and health and such

Of course, I had to keep up with regular chores all week. Each night I went to sleep the moment my head touched the pillow, so exhausted. This was good, because it meant that I woke up the next morning at least somewhat refreshed and ready to tackle whatever awful thing was coming. I didn't get very many walks in, but a couple at least.

I cooked all week. Monday I made tuna casserole and Tuesday we had the leftovers because we went to the choir concert at 6 pm. Wednesday I made a frittata, and Thursday we had Thai pineapple fried rice (which I make about every three months). Friday I was going to make pasta, but we had so many leftovers that we just ate them. 

Tuesday was Colorado Gives Day and I thought, I'll be damned if the plumbing woes prevent me from giving! So I gave away $500, $50 each to 10 different organizations. I know they say that you should just choose one or two and give a lot to them instead of a little scattered here and there, but I love giving to different things. I gave to three Humane Societies, three human food bank type things, Teen A's old dyslexia school, a group that helps old people stay in their homes in the county where our cabin is, the American Lung association, and a group that tries to keep music in the Denver schools. And I sobbed all the way through. There is something about giving money away that feels SO GOOD, and it makes me cry. And it feels good to cry.

Christmas

Christmas is going fine, except that I don't have time for it, because of everything else. I settled down and worked like crazy on the cards early in the week, got them all done except the German ones, and those are Rocket Boy's problem. I did get all the other cards written, got RB to sign them, mailed them all on Wednesday and Thursday. And today he worked on the German cards, which I will mail for him this week.

The choir concert at the high school was Tuesday night, and Teen B and I went to that. Rocket Boy came straight from work and joined us a few songs in. My favorite piece was "Bella Ciao," sung by the all-male chorus. 

I started baking cookies on Wednesday, made Peppermint Meltaways, which are Teen B's favorite. On Thursday I made a new recipe from the NY Times Cookie Week, Vietnamese Coffee Brownies, which sounded good but which I don't really like. Sort of bitter. Of course the recipe made a TON. On Friday I made Oatmeal Crunch, my grandmother's recipe, and they turned out really well. On Saturday we made the gingerbread cookies for Teen B's language arts project and today we decorated them. Or some of them. Gah. Tomorrow I'm planning to make panocha squares and continue decorating the gingerbread cookies.

I finally went shopping on Friday, went to two stores. First I drove to the mall and went to Old Navy to buy Christmas pj's. There I scored quite a coup. I think I got the last pair of men's pajama bottoms in the whole store, and they were the right size for Teen B, medium. I kept looking after I found them, to see if there were any other choices, but I never saw another men's. Dozens, maybe hundreds of women's, but no men's. I couldn't find a men's medium pajama top, but I found a medium tall that matched the pants, so another score. I didn't do as well finding boxer shorts pajamas for Teen A, but finally settled on a large (all the others were XL or XXL). 

When I left the store, I thought I'd just wander the mall for a moment, but almost immediately I knew I had to leave. I kept seeing gifty things in store windows, things that nobody really wants but people buy at Christmas because that's what you do. Go, I told myself, go now. So I left and drove back to Boulder, to World Market, where I bought candy and snacks. We don't give anybody much for Christmas anymore, and last year the twins requested that we have no more stockings, so I don't have to buy "stocking stuffers." Just things that people might really like to eat and/or wear.

I was done before 3 pm, went home and stowed everything away neatly, and had plenty of time to go pick up Teen B from school. I'll do a little more shopping next week, maybe, but not a lot. I might get both kids new underwear at Target. Things like that. 

After complaining extensively, I finally put the lights on the tree, maybe Thursday? I did a rotten job of it. I hate decorating the tree. It's just hard and I don't enjoy it, I feel frustrated by it. Everybody criticized my job on the lights, but nobody volunteered to fix it or help in any other way. 

On Saturday, we were getting ready to go to the Lights of December Parade downtown, and I was feeling stressed. I spent several minutes complaining to Rocket Boy and Teen B about how stressed I was, how I wanted someone else to take over the tree, but no one would, how the tree is a part of Christmas I would happily SKIP, but everyone would get mad at me if we didn't have a tree, blah blah blah, and how I didn't even want to go to the parade, etc., etc.

Then I pulled myself together and around 5 pm we drove off to the parade (which started at 6, but we wanted to get there early to find parking). And halfway down the street, right before we turned right onto Broadway, there was a horrific accident right in front of us! Kapow! Like an explosion! I don't think anyone was badly injured, but both cars were a mess, car parts everywhere. One wheel snapped off a car, there was glass and oil all over the street. One car turned entirely around, one car smashed into the power pole. It was awful. I called 911 while Rocket Boy got out and went over to help.

We were there trying to help for 10 or 15 minutes, although the police came fairly quickly. Finally Rocket Boy came back to the car. "Well, let's forget the parade," I said, and Teen B agreed, but no. RB wanted to go. "It will take our mind off the accident," he said. So we went to the parade.

And he was right. It was actually incredibly fun. We parked at the high school, which is an excellent place to park, and walked over to stand very near the beginning of the parade. That meant that we got a lot of candy, because all the people who were handing it out hadn't yet realized that they needed to conserve their stores in order to have enough for the whole parade route. I mean, seriously, I probably got 15 pieces of candy. Maybe 20. Teen B kept stealing mine, but I ate a lot. I was also given a baseball, a mug (like we need any more mugs), a small Christmas ornament, some coupons, and a package of hot chocolate mix. 

We reminisced about years when it's been terribly cold at the parade. This year wasn't bad. It might have been in the 40s and I had my warm new coat. Our feet got really cold, though, probably because we were standing still for over an hour, and when we were walking back to the car afterwards, both Rocket Boy and I were trying to unfreeze our feet. It was especially important that he unfreeze his, because he had to drive us to Denver, where we had tickets for Blossoms of Light at the Botanic Gardens, starting at 8 pm. We left Boulder at about 7:30 and we needed to reach the Botanic Gardens by 8:30 or they wouldn't let us in. It was past 8:15 when we arrived and then we drove around and around, looking for a parking place. Finally we found one. Got out of the car. It was 8:22. "Run!" We ran. Up the stairs of the parking garage, across the street, up the street to the special entrance, over to Window 2 for them to scan my tickets. "Turn your phone right side up," she told me. I put my phone upside down. Finally Teen B showed me what to do.

We made it. We were in. And it's so pretty. Saturday night, 12 days before Christmas, is an interesting time to go to Blossoms of Light, because numerous organizations were having their Christmas parties there. All over the gardens there were signs saying "Reserved for Private Event," and there were people all dressed up, women in high heels and furry coats. It didn't affect anywhere we wanted to go, it was just different. 

We started by going to the cafe so Rocket Boy could have a little dinner. Teen B and I both got loaded hot chocolate (hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and sprinkles), which was in some ways my main reason for wanting to go to Blossoms of Light again this year. And that's despite the fact that I don't even really like loaded hot chocolate. It's too sweet. But there's something about it that makes you feel so special, like "I am a person deserving of mini marshmallows, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, AND sprinkles." (I particularly don't like the sprinkles. But I like the look of them.)

After fortifying ourselves, we went out to look at the lights. This was my, what, fourth trip to Blossoms of Light? Something like that. So I know what it's like and it's not as special as the first time. But I still love it! It's just so fun to wander through the gardens in the dark, with all these other people who have paid a lot of money in order to Have a Good Time. Everyone is so happy! There were lots of couples holding hands and looking into each other's eyes (when they weren't looking at the lights) and we discussed how fun it would have been to spy on Teen A and his girlfriend when they came here a couple of weeks ago.

The last stop on the walk is the field where they have lights that change according to whatever Christmas song is playing. There were people standing next to us who had special glasses (3D maybe?) to look at the lights with. "Whoa!" they shouted, as the lights danced. "That's amazing!" I thought it was so sweet that grown men could get so excited over a light show. It made me feel better about the world. A little. But at the same time I also felt like, OK, this is fun, but it's time to get back to real life. We were going to try to see the meteor shower on the way home, but we were just too tired.

And today was the harp concert at the library, one of my favorite holiday activities, and I didn't go. I knew that if I went I would have to leave home by 12:30, the concert would be from 1 to 2, roughly, then I was going to go to McGuckins, probably wouldn't be home before 3... and when would Teen B and I work on homework? So I made the decision not to go this year, and I was sooooo happy about it. Teen B and I got a lot done, Teen A and I also got work done, we went out to dinner at the Nepalese restaurant (since we didn't go Saturday night), and now there's time for just a little more homework and then bed.

This coming week I've got more baking and shopping to do, more dinners to fix and dishes and laundry to do. The kids have finals on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, so they'll be all stressed out about those. I'll have to deal with the next steps regarding the plumbing disaster, probably spend a lot more money. I'll have to FINALLY put ornaments on the stupid tree. Rocket Boy has medical appointments every single morning before work. 

And now it's Hanukkah. Not our holiday, but we celebrate it anyway. Lit the first candle tonight. Rocket Boy said, "Why did you light two candles?" "It's the shamash," I told him crossly. "The helper candle." He never pays attention. "Mom," said Teen A, "why do we celebrate ALL the holidays?" "We don't," I said. "I've never figured out where to get a kinara, so we don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But I'd like to."

Now I will have to decide whether I want to cook Jewish meals all week. We usually do have latkes one of the nights. Anyway, we'll see. Another crazy week, but maybe by the next week things will calm down. 

It doesn't feel like Christmas

Week 2 of the plumbing nightmare. Actually, the plumbing has gone pretty well -- it's the "restoration" that's the nightmare. More about that later. Or maybe not. I don't like thinking about it, and I don't like writing about it.

This was a busy week, more than just plumbing. Last Sunday I was worried because Rocket Boy's car wouldn't start and I was afraid he was going to have to use my car to get to work. But he used the battery charger to get his car running and then took it to the store where he bought the battery last summer. They tested it and determined that it was defective! So they replaced it free of charge and his car behaved beautifully all week. See, some good things have been happening.

Monday afternoon, RB was scheduled to meet with the orthopedic surgeon. I wanted to go too, so he came home from work around 1 pm and we went in my car. The news from the surgeon was not exactly what we expected. Basically, as we had learned from RB's MRI, his shoulder is trash, and the only possible treatment is a "reverse shoulder replacement." But there's no rush! Because his muscles are already atrophied -- practically not even there anymore -- you can do the surgery whenever you want. So we decided, tentatively, to wait until spring, when RB will be more accustomed to his job and he won't have to drive in snow, etc. 

After the appointment we went over to Discount Tire and got new all-weather tires for my car (paid for with RB's unemployment money -- he's not getting that anymore, but still has a lot of money on the card that he hasn't spent yet). There was a huge waiting list which we joined at about 2:30 pm, and the car was ready around 6:30 pm. During those four hours we walked to a cafe and had chai, went to the Bookworm and spent a long time browsing, and finally went back to Discount Tire and sat with everyone else, petting people's dogs, looking at our phones, waiting.

But I have new tires! I got Nokians -- it's a Finnish brand. They were cheaper than the Michelins, but supposed to be very very good on ice and snow. So far I absolutely love them. I feel so much better with new tires. They are also very quiet, which I wasn't expecting.

Tuesday was Giving Tuesday and I made a few donations. I do more on Colorado Gives Day, which is this coming week, but for the general giving day I gave $35 to the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, $50 to Mission St. Louis, and $50 to the Desert Tortoise Council. It wasn't much, but it was something. I'm so cross that this plumbing disaster is messing up my giving.

Monday afternoon I had gotten an email saying that the Christmas wreaths that Teen B's high school band was selling as a fundraiser would be ready for pickup on Tuesday between 3:30 and 5:00 pm. Unfortunately I was scheduled to see the oral surgeon in Westminster at 4 pm to check on my implant. And while she's usually on time, that day she wasn't. I was sitting in the chair listening to her talk to another patient who had a lot of complications -- an abscess for which antibiotics were needed, but the first antibiotics hadn't worked, so the oral surgeon prescribed a different antibiotic, and they were about to leave on a trip -- meanwhile, I'm trying to stay calm, taking deep breaths, and watching the minutes tick by on the computer screen hanging above me. Finally at 4:24 she came in to see me. My implant was of course perfect, healing wonderfully, and she'll see me in February. 

Released at last, I drove like a bat out of hell... but a careful bat out of hell... all the way back to Boulder in the beginnings of rush hour traffic, and I made it to the high school by 4:55. I parked, rushed to the door near the band room, and they gave me my wreath. Success!

Then I drove to the Meadows branch library to attend a lecture on KrampusNacht -- and it was canceled. I was going to use that as a treat to reward myself for all the nonsense I'm dealing with, but no.

Wednesday was a snow day! Eight inches of fluffy wet snow! Actually, the schools didn't even have a delayed start time, because Wednesday is Late Start day anyway, so they must have figured that was good enough. Teen B doesn't have class until 11:15 am on Wednesdays, so I drove him (my new tires did wonderfully) and picked him up later. It was fine. Wednesday was also the day the plumber came back to our house and put in a water pressure regulator and a reservoir on top of our water heater (see pic). It was supposed to cost $700, but because of the reservoir and some other things, it ended up being $1225. But I don't care. It feels much better to know that our pipes will probably not burst now.

As soon as they let us back into the rental house, we're going to have the same thing done there, with the same kind of water heater. Maybe in a few days.

On Thursday, Rocket Boy saw his regular doctor to talk about his blood pressure and such. He's been taking lisinopril to lower it, and it was suddenly too low, 100 over 70 or something like that. So for some reason (I wasn't there, just going on RB's imperfect retelling), Dr. J. brought out an EKG machine to observe RB's heart and determined that he has an irregular heartbeat. So now he has to see a cardiologist! I'm trying to remember how when *I* saw a cardiologist, a few years ago, it turned out to be nothing serious. But mostly I'm freaking out, as is my husband. Oh well. He is 71, after all. Stuff starts to happen. But so much stuff! It doesn't seem fair at all.

I'm trying to get started with Christmas, despite all the plumbing madness, but it's hard. I did manage to get all the envelopes (for cards) addressed this week, and on Saturday I took the "letter" to FedEx Office to print it out. Normally this is not hard. I put my flash drive into the machine, punch a few buttons, and it makes perfect copies. But that day, when I arrived, a customer was yelling at the only employee. "You can't treat me like that! The customer is always right!" she screamed. Cringing, I went over to the machine and pushed buttons. It started to print. And then -- oops -- paper jam. "Um, excuse me," I said to the employee, who was still dealing with the crazy woman. Long story short, the machine jammed up at least a dozen times, printing one or two copies and then jamming again. The employee stayed with me, unjamming it over and over. But then about seven people came into the store, all carrying boxes, so she had to go help them. Eventually she printed out the rest of my copies on her private copier. The whole episode took forever. 

Trying to stay positive and Christmassy, trying, trying. 

On Saturday, Rocket Boy and I had tickets for the CU Holiday Concert. I had been only once before, back in 2018, with the twins, when they were ten and impossible, especially Kid A. It was much more pleasant to go with an adult, but there were two little kids sitting in front of us, one a little boy (maybe six?) who kicked the seat in front of him and fidgeted and eventually had to be removed by his father, and I was amused and full of memories of seven years ago.

The music was lovely and I particularly enjoyed the parts where the audience has to stand up and sing along (carols in the beginning and the Hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah at the end). I love to sing the Hallelujah chorus, but those high notes (for the first soprano part) are SO high and my voice is not that high anymore. I was afraid I was annoying the people around me, shrieking away, but afterwards Rocket Boy said, "Well, you do have a pretty voice," (without me prompting him), so I guess it was OK.

Oh, and the best part? I saw a boy in the chorus who I recognized from the Boulder High choir last year. He was one of my favorites. I call him Riff Raff because he reminds me of the character from Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was looking at the chorus -- so far away, and we hadn't brought binoculars -- and suddenly I recognized him (he has a distinctive hairstyle). "It's Riff Raff!" I hissed to Rocket Boy. "Where?" "Second to back row, over on the right." RB found him too. And later I found Riff Raff in the program (I'd forgotten his name, but I found him in the yearbook at home and then checked the program again and there was his name.) Last year, after graduation, Teen B said to me, "You'll never see Riff Raff again." But he was wrong!

Today we did two Christmassy things: we put up the tree (no lights or ornaments yet), and we went to the ChristKindlMarkt aka Christmas Market in Denver at the Auraria campus. Teen B went last year or the year before, with his German class, and had some good hot chocolate and a pretzel, so he wanted to do that again.

It was kind of a ripoff. Well, not kind of. Parking was $16.50 (it would have been $25 if we'd parked in the garage). And everything cost so much. I ended up buying a small pin for $10 (probably would have been $1 anywhere else). Rocket Boy and Teen B each had a plate of spaetzle, $12 each with no sauce. And finally I bought Teen B a skewer of strawberries dipped in chocolate with peppermint bits on top. Five strawberries. $18.50. So, $69 in all, is that right? So ridiculous. Think of all the people and animals (tortoises, birds, etc.) that could have been helped with that money! I don't think I'll ever go there again. Still, it was fun to get out and go somewhere we've never gone. 

I also had a useful talk with Teen B about colleges, because one of the places he's applied is CU Denver -- which is on the Auraria campus, along with Metro State where Teen A wants to go. I said, "If you don't get in to CU Boulder but you do get in to CU Denver and CSU in Fort Collins, which would you choose?" And he said, "CSU." I said, "Even though it's so far away?" And he said "Yes, I don't like Denver."

I'm not sure why we're wasting CU Denver's time, applying there, but anyway, it's good to have choices and he may change his mind. Still, a useful conversation.

So, back home again and facing the plumbing issues. I don't really want to write about it, so I won't. Suffice it to say that we are still dealing with a lot and the week ahead looks horrid. Last night I was having trouble falling asleep, so I invented a little fantasy whereby I left Rocket Boy and the twins and moved into a little studio apartment in Lafayette or Westminster or someplace like that. I imagined choosing a few pieces of silverware, a plate, a glass, and a mug from our collection, and then buying some little chairs at World Market, so as to have a bit of furniture. I decided I would sleep on an air mattress. Anything to get away from what I'm dealing with here.

Oh, it's not so bad. Maybe. I just so badly don't want to deal with it. Today I spent time telling Rocket Boy, earnestly, how much I don't want to deal with it and how awful it makes me feel. He was sympathetic. But what can he really do? He has to go to work. I have to handle it. So I'll try again this week.

What do we have on the schedule for this coming week?

• Monday I'm going to try to work hard on cards. I should have gotten them done last week, but, well...
• Tuesday is Colorado Gives Day, so I'll try to figure out how much I can give away and still be able to pay plumbers and restoration people and whatnot. I'll also do some more work on cards. Tuesday night is the high school choir concert, so Teen B and I will go to that.
• Wednesday I'll try to finish the cards and get them mailed out -- IFFFF the stamps come by then. I stupidly ordered holiday stamps online, not noticing that they wouldn't be delivered until Wednesday at the earliest. Oh well.
• Thursday I might start baking. I have tentatively decided to make nine batches of cookies this year (twelve being too many and six being too few), so I should get started. Or I might go shopping. Ack, I forgot that this is supposed to be shopping week. Oh, for heaven's sake. OK, might need to think about this.
• Friday I could make another batch of cookies. And go shopping. And deal with the restoration people. Or whatever.
• Saturday we have tickets to go to Blossoms of Light -- but it's also the Parade of Lights in downtown Boulder. I thought Teen B wouldn't want to go to the parade, since he didn't want to go last year, but when I mentioned it (after buying the Blossoms tickets) he said, "Oh, no, the parade!" But it's too late to switch our tickets, so we're going to try to go to the parade at 6 pm and then drive rapidly to Denver to go to Blossoms (our tickets are for 8 pm). Whatever. It will be fine.
• And Sunday is the harp concert (I was wrong last week, I said it was today, but it wasn't). It is also the last weekend day before final exams (they have one more day of regular school on Monday and then exams start on Tuesday), so I'm sure I will be spending time that day helping the twins study.

Maybe, by next Sunday, the plumbing problems will all be solved and I'll be on top of everything, cards done, cookies started, presents somehow purchased... probably not. Maybe some of that.

It will be OK. Keep telling myself that.