Traveling

I won't write a full post, but wanted to check in. We are in St. Louis! That means the hard part is over, the long drive and all that. I don't want to do a blow by blow of what it was like, maybe just a few bullet points.

• Friday: I'd gotten only 4 or 5 hours of sleep the night before, so, yeah... Rocket Boy changed our car reservation at the last minute so we didn't have to go to the airport, we picked the car up in Boulder. I was going to take a Lyft but discovered that I can't use Lyft on my phone anymore (the service is gradually degrading and I have to buy a new phone, I learned on Wednesday too late to do anything about it before the trip). So our next door neighbor drove me to get the car, after I had a total flip out meltdown about everything (sigh). They upgraded us to a small SUV, a Dodge Journey which I liked very much -- it was about the size of my Forester, but with a lot more power. We finally left on our trip around 12:15 or so (I'd been hoping for 11). Got to Hays, Kansas, and our hotel around 6:15. I could barely stay awake the last hour or so. Hays, Kansas, is doing some stupid construction on their main street and for a while I didn't think we'd ever find the hotel (a Sleep Inn & Suites). On the plus side, there was a little pool and the beds were so comfortable, I slept like the dead.
• Saturday: We drove from Hays to Iola, where we stayed in a Super 8 (much less comfortable, but a nice pool). In between, we visited Hillsboro, Kansas (Mennonite Museum) and the Tallgrass Prairie National Preserve, which Teen A insists on calling the "Tallgrass" Prairie, using finger quotes, since the grass hasn't grown very high yet. Kansas was green but very dull. Again, I was close to dozing the last 100 miles or so.
• Sunday: We drove from Iola, Kansas, to Columbia, Missouri, stopping along the way at Fort Scott, near the border (very worthwhile, even the twins liked it). Due to various unfortunate circumstances, we didn't meet Rocket Boy at the Columbia airport until almost 5 pm, but I managed to turn in the rental car there. Then he took over. We took the long way back to St. Louis, through the Missouri Rhineland area, which was lovely, but it was just too late in the day and we were so tired. Ate dinner around 8 pm at a Bob Evans that was about to close -- I had a pot roast sandwich, much of which I threw up later, but that's par for the course with me these days. We finally got to his apartment (half of the top floor of an old house in the Dutchtown area), climbed up the tall, steep flight of stairs, and collapsed.
  

So we're here! I have some Words of Wisdom from the trip, Lessons Learned or whatever. 

1. I can't drive long distances like I used to. I think 200 miles a day should be my limit. We drove 300 or more each day, and after 200 I got sleepy, despite repeated doses of caffeine and chocolate. Very scary.
2. I've got to get a new phone. The fact that the twins now have phones saved us several times.
   
3. I'm really glad I did it. In a few years the twins won't put up with this anymore. 
4. Suites are worth the extra money. Rocket Boy and I can share a bed, but each twin needs his own bed. Teen B and I shared the 2nd night, and it was bad.
5. Two special stops each day are about all the twins can handle. RB and I could probably manage six or more, because we like to look at everything, but not the twins. And you've got to try to make everyone happy.
6. Even though it's tempting to live on weird snacks from Travel Stations (Funyons, Monster drinks, Skor candy bars), you should try to eat some actual food every day. Like on Saturday we had lunch at Subway -- that was good. The rest of the time, hmm.
   
7. Nobody in Kansas wears a mask (in Missouri, it's mixed), but people were nice everywhere we went. This whole liberal/Trumper war is such nonsense.
   

So now we're in St. Louis and it's warm and humid, but it could be worse. Today, after laundry, we did two activities: visited the Cahokia Mounds and took a tour, and then, after a late lunch/dinner at Denny's (practically the only thing open), drove to the old Chain of Rocks bridge and walked partway across it (RB walked all the way across and back, but the twins and I were tired). Came home around 7 pm or so, and then RB and I went to the grocery store to get cereal and fruit and milk and ice cream, etc. It was very romantic -- we held hands. Tomorrow I think we're going to go to the City Museum, because the weather's going to get rainy soon, and we want to experience the rooftop display that we missed when we were here in November 2019.

I'm typing this in the little room beyond the kitchen that you can see through the doors in the photo above. I'm listening to gunshots -- this is kind of a transitional neighborhood and RB lives right next to an old high school with a big empty field. It seems to attract an undesirable element. During the day, though, it's quite charming.

I'll try to post again next weekend, but it might have to wait until we're back home. Anyway, we survived the journey and now I think we're going to have a pleasant week with Rocket Boy. I'm glad I made this happen.

The last day of school approaches

It is almost the last day of school! Thursday will be the last day the twins spend in seventh grade. That means in a few months they will start eighth grade, which will be their last year of middle school. Middle school goes by so quickly, especially when much of it takes place in a pandemic. Pretty soon we'll be thinking about high school. No, stop, slow down. I can't bear it.

It occurred to me that 10 years from now, two babies could be on their own. They'll be 23, it's possible. It's also possible that the kitties will still be with us. They're 3 and 1 -- cats can easily live to be 13 and 11 and beyond. The kitties might live through the rest of the kids' teen years and into their 20s. They might still be with me (and hopefully Rocket Boy), needing to be fed twice a day and have their litter boxes scooped, after the twins have gone on their way. Such a strange thought.

***

This was kind of a health-focused week -- nothing terrible, just all these tests and appointments and whatnot. They take a lot of time and energy. 

On Tuesday morning I finally saw the endocrinologist. I prepared for this appointment by getting all stressed out about my weight and my high calcium level. I imagined the endocrinologist lecturing me about being too fat, and telling me that my calcium wasn't high at all and I didn't need surgery.

Instead, of course, she was very nice, didn't mention my weight, and told me I should probably have surgery. "We don't like to force people, but... this isn't going to get better on its own." She also sent me off to have more bloodwork and urine testing (fortunately, this time there was no problem getting in the building where the lab is).

Tuesday afternoon I picked the twins up early from school and took them to get the first dose of the vaccine, since the Pfizer version was approved for their age group the week before. That was quite a trip. There were very few adults getting shots -- it was all parents and teenagers, parents and teenagers. I got almost teary. I felt like we were doing a very good thing, but I also was so happy that all these other people were doing the same good thing. The twins had sore arms and were tired the next day, but otherwise all was well.

I spent Wednesday collecting my urine for the 24-hour urine collection test that the endocrinologist had ordered. Because I was worried about it, I woke up Wednesday morning around 5 am and finally gave up, got up, and peed at 5:50 am. You don't collect the first pee, but the 24-hour period begins immediately afterwards, which meant that I would have to wake up to pee by 5:50 the next day too. I learned how to use the collecting hat, and grossed the twins out by keeping the jug in the fridge. 

Also that day, I called to make an appointment for a bone density scan, but unfortunately couldn't get anything before June 30th.

Thursday morning, even more nervous, I woke up at 4 am to pee an enormous amount, and then finally at 5:50 am went in and peed once more and filled the jug to the brim -- with some left over. No one had mentioned that possibility. What to do, what to do. I decided to flush the extra, but later I thought -- remember, I'd gotten very little sleep for two nights -- no one will believe me that I peed exactly enough to fill the jug to the brim. So I collected another pee, flushed most of it, and put the last little bit in a Tupperware container, which I told the girl at the lab was "what wouldn't fit in the jug." Hopefully this subterfuge (aka lying) will not mess up the results. I really don't want to go through that again.

Later that day, my regular doc's assistant called with the good news that my A1c had dropped down to 6.4, from 6.7 in February. The new number is actually the top of the prediabetes range, so that's very good. I will try to keep walking and eating better, hoping to reduce that number even further.

A few minutes later, the endocrinologist's assistant called with the not so great news that although my calcium level dropped slightly (from 10.7 to 10.6), my parathyroid hormone level is now clearly in the "high" range (somewhere above 65, she didn't tell me the exact number) (5/24 she said it was 75), not "high normal" as before (60). She asked for permission to send a referral over to Anschutz (the CU Medical Center) for surgery and I agreed. So once I get that bone scan, we'll move forward on this. Sigh. No, it's a good thing. But sigh.

I'm still waiting for the results of that 24-hour urine collection, assume those will come in this week. (5/24 my calcium was high normal, don't know if that's important)

I'm not sure I did anything else last week. I only spent half an hour writing, and the only progress I made on the sewing project was to wash the fabric (along with a lot of other fabric I had sitting around). I guess it's sort of silly to wash fabric for doll clothes, since they won't need much (if any) washing during their lifetime. But washing makes the fabric softer and easier to use.

Oh, I know what I did, or rather didn't do. I tried and tried and tried to order the twins each a cell phone, and I just couldn't do it. My anxiety level was through the roof. So I finally turned it over to Rocket Boy, who does not have telephobia or whatever it's called, and the phones are scheduled to arrive on Monday. We chose very cheap Motorola phones and we're going to sign up for a very low data plan. It will be interesting to see whether the twins immediately lose or break their phones, or if they just don't use them much at first.

Now that the medical stuff is mostly taken care of, for now, I am thinking about our upcoming trip to St. Louis. The car rental is arranged, the flight back, and the pet-sitters. But there are SO many smaller things left. Still to do...

• Reserve hotel rooms for the first and second nights. I want us to have flexibility, but I also don't want to worry about finding rooms that will suit us. By the third night we may be in St. Louis with Rocket Boy, or we may decide to stay somewhere together one more night. We're dropping off the car in Columbia, Missouri, and he'll meet us there with his car.
  
• Make a packing list. This should include clothes & toiletries for the trip, supplies for driving, stuff Rocket Boy wants me to bring, etc. Once I have a list, I can shop for what we don't have (maybe a hat for me, snacks, etc.). I'll do a final load of laundry on Thursday, and then pack.
• Decide what bus to take to the airport (either the 9:36 am or the 10:36 am).
  
• Make more definite plans about what to do along the way, what's open and when, how much does everything cost, etc. Also make plans for our time in St. Louis.
  
• Have the pet-sitters over to meet the cats ahead of time. Buy extra cat food. Finish writing up the notes for the pet-sitters and go to FedEx Office to print them out.
• Get cash for the bus and for the pet-sitters and for the trip in general.
  
• My book group comes on Monday -- first in-person meeting since last fall -- so I need to clean up the back patio, wash chairs, clean the house so that when they walk through it to get to the patio, they won't be shocked, etc. We read The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters by Balli Kaur Jaswal, so we are having take-out from an Indian restaurant, Tandoori Grill.
  
• Deal with what needs to be done at home before we go: return books to the library or renew them, pay bills that will be due before we come back, eat all the fruits and veggies in the fridge, drink the milk. I did already change the milk order.
  

Instead of cleaning the house, I'm trying to finish a couple more library books, so I can take them back to the library before we go (I took two back today). I read a really interesting graphic novel by Nora Krug about the guilt that modern Germans feel about Hitler. It's called Belonging in English, but the German title is Heimat -- which seems like it should be the English title too. Or else Homeland, but not Belonging, that seems like a strange choice. Anyway. It was very good and I recommend it.

Oh, and a crazy thing: when I got back from the library this afternoon, the red-breasted nuthatch was back in the aspen (it's in this picture, but hard to see), working on its hole. Where has it been for the last month? Why did it come back? Is it even the same nuthatch? Is it the one I see in the backyard? I was so happy to see it, I just sat in my car and watched it for a long time. That's why this is a bad picture: taken through my car window on my cell phone. Nuthatch, I love you!

Well, maybe this is enough for today. I won't make a weekly schedule, because it's such a complicated week, so many things to do. On the schedule for this weekend were cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming all the floors -- did any of that get done? No. So that's a bad sign, and I will just have to push myself harder. Knowing that diabetes and hyperparathyroidism cause fatigue does not help. Nor does my lifelong dislike of housework. I will just have to do my best. But now it is almost 5 pm and I'm kind of thinking about a nap. Maybe I should go for a walk instead. Or a nap first and then a walk? The wind is blowing something fierce, so it can't be a long walk. OK, maybe I'll lie down for just a few minutes and then we'll see.

It'll all get done, or enough will get done and we won't worry about the rest.

Reading post: Winnetou: The Treasure of Nugget Mountain

I finished my third book for the Classics Challenge last night: Winnetou: The Treasure of Nugget Mountain by Karl May, translated and adapted by Marion Ames Taggart. The original Winnetou story was published in Germany in 1893, and this translation is from 1898. This fulfills category #4, "A classic in translation," although supposedly it's a very loose translation, with many changes made and a brand-new title. There exist more modern and accurate translations, but I have to admit I didn't want to spend the money, nor the time, to read another. If I could have gotten one from Prospector... oh well, maybe I should stop complaining about that.

Winnetou is/was famous in Germany and really all of central/eastern Europe. If you read the reviews of the various translations on Amazon you'll see that they're mostly by Europeans wondering why this translation is so bad! Despite the fact that Karl May made the whole thing up (he'd never even been to America), his books and the subsequent films based on them led Germans to fall in love with the American West.

One odd thing about this translation is that it begins in the middle of Winnetou I, the first collection of Winnetou stories by Karl May. (I don't know whether there was an earlier volume by this translator that included the first part.) May's German immigrant Charlie has become an American named Jack, and his initial encounter with Winnetou and the Apache people is only referred to in passing. By the time the book begins, Jack (often called by his Indian name, Old Shatterhand) and Winnetou have already become blood brothers, and they decide to travel back to the world of white people along with Winnetou's father, the chief, and his sister, who wants to go to school to learn the ways of white women. Terrible things ensue almost immediately (I won't go into specifics), but at the end of the book, Winnetou dies a Christian while German-Americans sing a version of Ave Maria, and Shatterhand triumphs over the evil bandit Santer. Winnetou's death puzzled me, because that means this volume must comprise parts of all the Winnetou stories, or at least more than just Winnetou I. According to Wikipedia, Winnetou's death doesn't occur until Winnetou III, but he dies in this translation.

So I don't know what I read, and I'm not sure it should count as a "translation." It gave me a whiff of the true Winnetou, maybe. This cover is the translation I probably should have read, from 2008. I'm debating whether or not to buy a used copy and read it too. The thing is, this type of story really isn't my thing. I've never been interested in Westerns, and this novel -- at least the version I read -- is ridiculous. Winnetou and Shatterhand do everything perfectly. They evade detection in situations where they deserve to be caught, they hit almost everything they fire at, almost all of their schemes work. Also, they never have any trouble acquiring food & drink, money, horses, etc. All the practical aspects of life in the West are absent, and I admit that's the part I would have been interested in. Oh, and Winnetou supposedly becomes the chief of the Apache tribe, but he's always off riding around with Old Shatterhand -- shouldn't a chief have more responsibilities? The translation I read had only 111 pages, but I was ready for it to be over after reading just a few of those.

I'm looking forward to reading some books written by and about Native Americans, not this sort of romantic fantasy.

Rainy May

It has been a very wet spring and is continuing to be so this week. Living in a generally dry state, you don't want to complain about precipitation -- the summer is coming, and at some point everything will dry out and then burn. But when it's wet like this the farmers can't plant, and all the green stuff growing like mad right now will be fuel for the fires later. You can't win, in other words. Still, I'll take the wet, even though cloudy days dampen my mood, too. 

Teen A and I got the front lawn mowed yesterday, before the afternoon rains began. We have a 60% chance of rain this afternoon, 80% chance tomorrow, 70% Tuesday, and 50% Wednesday, and beyond that they don't give percentages. But it looks like a pretty wet week ahead regardless.

I'm trying to think of what I accomplished this week, but not coming up with much. Little bits of this and that. The kids and I are planning a trip to St. Louis to see Dad after school gets out, so I... (1) arranged a rental car, because we're going to drive there, drop the car off at the St. Louis airport, and then use Dad and Lyfts while we're in the city; (2) made plane reservations for me and Teen B to fly home, because Teen A is going to stay with Dad for a few weeks on his own (Teen B will do the same thing later in the summer); (3) arranged for our favorite pet-sitters to take care of Sillers and Mr. Merlino while we're gone; and (4) researched exciting things to do while driving across Kansas. This coming week I plan to focus on cleaning the house.

The Mother's Day presents I ordered for myself both arrived, and I am very happy with them. The maybasket pins arrived about three days after I ordered them and the plates just came today (they got stuck in Wisconsin, for some reason). There is nothing wrong with the plates except a few tiny scratches (which are surely from normal use), so have no idea why they were identified as damaged. I washed them and put them away in the cupboard with the other china. And now I have something to hunt for -- because of course I should have at least four. (There are some on eBay but they are too expensive. I will keep looking.)

I'm very pleased with the maybasket pins as well, and that's going to be something to hunt for, too -- not aggressively, just if I happen to be somewhere that has vintage costume jewelry, like an estate sale or a resale shop. It's kind of cheating to just look for them online. My mother and my Aunt Helen used to enjoy hunting for costume jewelry for me at estate sales, because I appreciated everything they found. When I find glittery treasures it makes me think of my mother and my aunt.

I did something interesting yesterday. With a group that I've been zooming with for a while, I went to a dog park in Westminster and placed some stones in honor of Chester, Pie Bear, and even Whiskers, who died back in 2010. Don't laugh at the art -- I have never claimed to be an expert painter, and I was working with pretty terrible little brushes.

Most people just wrote the names of their pets on rocks they found at the park, but I had poked around our yard ahead of time and found little stones to work with. Then, on Friday, I sat outside on our back patio and painted them, using old photographs as a guide. Our backyard is a jungle right now -- every square inch of lawn has a gigantic dandelion plant growing out of it, and the trees are leafing out, especially the maple. There is a red-breasted nuthatch hanging out (nesting?) in the Siberian elm, don't know if it's the same one that gave up on the hole in the half-dead aspen in the side yard, but it might be. It came over near me and climbed on the wall of the house, just to say hi (well, that's how I interpreted it). 

Speaking of bird friends, on Mother's Day I heard a hummingbird, but I have yet to see one at my feeder. I think I may have put the wrong strength of sugar water (too weak) in it originally and that may have so disgusted the hummingbird that it left and hasn't returned. I have the right strength now and I hope more hummingbirds will come and give it a try.

There was a very noisy meadowlark at the dog park on Saturday, and I think I saw two lark buntings. Is that possible? I don't think of lark buntings as being down here, they're more likely to be out on the eastern plains, but I don't know what else they could have been. They're a pretty distinctive bird.

I am making some progress on my resolutions. I finally managed to unpack the sewing machine, though I haven't sewn anything yet. I spent some time wondering why it took nearly 10 months to get it out of its box, but really, there's no point in dwelling on that. Anxiety is not rational -- that's one of the most frustrating things about it. I mean, think about it: I was afraid to take the sewing machine out of its box because... it's hard to take things out of boxes? (obviously not, things arrived in boxes all year and I took them out) because... it might be hard to learn how to use a new sewing machine? (OK, but really? It's a Singer, my old one is a Singer, I've been sewing for over 45 years, is this a rational fear?) because... I also might want to get my old sewing machine fixed? (getting closer -- having two related things to do often prevents me from doing either one). Basically it's all nonsense. You just have to push through it somehow.

Anyway, the sewing machine is out, and sister Barbara and I have decided that I will make her Littlest Angel doll a nightgown and robe. I downloaded a pattern from Etsy that she chose, and today I went to JoAnn's and bought some material and notions (that's always the fun part, matching colors and so on). Now I have to do some actual sewing, but I might not start until after our trip. I'm not sure.

The other resolution-related thing I did this week was write. I've actually been working on this writing project for months, but that was all planning and organizing. The project is a mystery novel, so I had to work out the structure of the mystery, and plan the characters, and do all that sort of prep work before I could write. I don't usually do that much prep work before I write something, and I was afraid that I might have killed my interest by prepping too long. But no -- once I sat down and began typing it was SO FUN. I wrote two chapters this week and started the third. 

I am writing this instead of my usual angsty short stories and such because I wanted something that would make me happy, something completely escapist. There is no Covid in my story, no politics, and people of different races/ethnicities all get along happily. Oh, and no death -- it's not a murder mystery. The characters are based on some of my Barbie dolls, so I set them up on my desk before I start to write and it's like they're cheering me on. 

A few plans for the coming week:

• Monday: Do school with the kids at home. Do my laundry. Take a walk before it starts to rain. Switch out my summer/winter clothes. Order phones for the twins unless my anxiety proves unconquerable, in which case ask Rocket Boy to do it. Pick up junk off the floors, throw away/recycle. Take Mr. Merlino to get his nails clipped at 4 pm. Something easy for dinner (scrambled eggs?); then go to the grocery store to pick up my prescription and get food for the week (planning the meals would be a good thing to do first).
  
• Tuesday: Get the kids to school. 10 am appointment with endocrinologist; also get a blood test while I'm there. Write for two hours (or whatever I have time for). Clean off flat surfaces. Do the kids' laundry. Pick up the kids at school at 2:45 and take them for their 3 pm vaccine appointment (yay!!!). Something easy for dinner.
• Wednesday: Get the kids to school (unless their arms hurt from the vaccine, in which case I might have to keep them home, sigh). Cut out the robe pattern and explore how one might begin to sew it. Clean the bathroom! Take a walk. Something simple for dinner (what are all these simple dinners that I'm supposed to be making?).
  
• Thursday: Get the kids to school. Write for two hours. Sweep and vacuum (probably a two-day job). Take a walk. Do something simple for dinner. Put out the trash & recycling at night.
• Friday: Get the kids to school. Pay bills. Do a little more sewing. Sweep and vacuum the rooms I didn't get to on Thursday. Take a walk, do something simple for dinner.
  
• Sat & Sun: Go for walks, get the kids outside. If not raining, work in the garden. Get takeout for dinner on Saturday; make something simple for dinner on Sunday. Plan what else I need to do to get ready for the trip in the week ahead. Get ready for the book group (they're supposedly coming here on Monday!)

And there you have it. It's 6:00, so I should go for a quick walk before I cook (I think it's stopped raining, but in any case I'll bring an umbrella). I think I'm going to make French toast for dinner. I actually made a banana coffee cake earlier today, after planning to do so for several weeks, but I want to save it for breakfast. (We've already had some as a snack. It's very good.) 

Here's to a stress-free week with no complications. Or, if that's not possible, then I'll wish for the strength to deal with whatever the complications happen to be.

Mother's Day gifts

A pleasant, though cloudy, Mother's Day -- we are supposed to have rain, but so far just a sprinkle or two. The twins and I went out for fancy coffees at Starbucks as a Mother's Day treat (more a treat for them, but it's OK). I also spent time reading a mystery, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, and talking on the phone to Rocket Boy and Aunt Nonny. I'm going to get off the computer and make popovers for a light dinner soon.

This is our third Mother's Day with Rocket Boy off in Missouri, and once again it's absolutely fine. I really wonder now what it will be like when we celebrate it together again someday. Will I revert to being crabby and feeling unloved? Or will it stay absolutely fine? I suspect the latter, because I've enjoyed all the holidays we've managed to spend together since he's been gone. The separation has caused a bit of mellowing. Maybe it was just what our marriage needed.

Of course, it was nice that he thought to send a present -- a big box arrived on Thursday and we opened it today. I figured it would just be chocolate, though surely he wouldn't sent THAT much chocolate, and why was the box marked "fragile"? And yes, there was a box of chocolate in there, but there were all these other things as well, like fancy soap and a deck of "Garden Birds" playing cards, and a funny Mother's Day card. The most special gift was a photo of the boos when they were three or four, at Red Rocks State Park outside Ridgecrest, that he had FedEx Office make into sort of a box print, for hanging. I love it, and I love that he thought to do that. I have many photos I might like to do that with. 

I was just thinking the other day that I'm tired of staring at a drawing of Rocket Boy's dad when he was in the Army and a small painting that we think could be of his grandfather, or maybe just some random German peasant. They're on the wall facing our bed. Why do I have to look at them when I wake up in the morning? The answer is, I don't, I could put something else there. Maybe I'll think about that. Anyway, I've felt very well remembered today.

But I also bought myself some gifts. This past week, home sick, I started thinking about my wedding china. I don't know why -- something must have triggered it, but I don't remember what. Anyway, I've always been slightly embarrassed about my wedding china, like maybe I didn't exercise truly good taste when I chose it. My china is Butterfly Meadow by Lenox, a very popular pattern in the early 2000s when we got married, and still in production today. I liked it because it had flowers and butterflies, and the plates had different pictures, and there were whimsical touches like a bee inside the teacups. Also, it wasn't too expensive (I was thinking of the wedding guests' pocketbooks).

Rocket Boy was fine with my choice (he had never heard of wedding china and would have approved of absolutely anything I chose), but my mother, of all people, was a little unsure. She (very gently) tried to steer me toward another china pattern that had flowers but was less cutesy: the Botanic Garden pattern by Portmeirion. I had noticed it when I was first looking at china -- it was on my list -- and I looked at it again after my mother nudged me in that direction, but it didn't make the final cut. I went for cutesy, and that has always bothered me, even though I still love all the cutesy touches. There is a part of me that feels that someone with a PhD should not have Butterfly Meadow china. So I decided to look at the Portmeirion china again, to poke that little wound once more. I found the china on replacements.com and studied it, and then I remembered why I didn't like it. That green leaf ring around the edges of all the plates. It bothered me, for some reason. Still does. But then I saw something that I'd forgotten: one of the plates had sweet peas! Oh, I wanted it! But then... that green leaf border... hmm.

While trying to remember the name of the Portmeirion china, I looked on a few different websites, and on one I found some of the loveliest china I'd ever seen. It was by a French company I hadn't heard of, Bernardaud, and the pattern is called Jardin Indien, with reproductions of pictures of flowers from a botanical garden in Mumbai "that no longer exists." The flowers are so delicate, so understated, so lovely. I thought, oh, that's what I would choose now.

Then I looked a little closer. One dinner plate costs $86. Seriously!

So, no, that wouldn't have been my choice 19 years ago, even if it had existed then. Too expensive for the wedding guests. Also, I'm sure I would never have been able to buy extra pieces on replacements.com, which has pages and pages and pages and pages of Butterfly Meadow china (and Butterfly Meadow tablecloths, and Butterfly Meadow soap dishes, and Butterfly Meadow bed linen and Butterfly Meadow everything you can imagine -- and what would that be like, if you were newly married and your entire home ended up being Butterfly Meadow? A nightmare!).

And no, I didn't buy myself a place setting of Jardin Indien as a Mother's Day gift. Though I'd love to meet someone who has that china, and eat a meal at their house where I could enjoy looking at it.

Instead, I looked on replacements.com for Butterfly Meadow Leaf -- a pale green version of Butterfly Meadow that I've always liked too. I have a few pieces of it mixed in with the colorful dishes: four pasta bowls and a couple of big serving bowls. Apparently no one has ever liked it but me, because it's really hard to come by now. When I looked on replacements.com they had almost nothing. But there were two "luncheon plates," only $5 each because they were used and had some damage. I decided they would be fine, especially since I do not actually have any luncheon plates in my pattern. We never finished the set. So I ordered the two plates and they are on their way.

That was my first present to myself.

On Thursday, the morning paper included a separate Macy's ad, full of pictures of gift ideas for Mom. I looked through it mostly for amusement, sure that I wouldn't like anything Macy's thought I would. And then I stopped -- there was something I liked. It was a colored glass pin, flowers and a little bee, something that would fit right in with my large collection of pins (and reminiscent of my wedding china). 

Oh, I loved it! I loved it enough to go on the Macy's website and see what else they had (the paper ad had done its job). And there on the website was something I liked even better -- a maybasket pin! 

I wanted that pin. I clicked deeper -- I was going to buy it -- but it was no longer available. So, I got off that website -- sorry, Macy's, you almost had a customer -- and went searching for it elsewhere. I found it on Etsy, on the page of a seller of "vintage pins" (which I guess just means used? a pin very recently for sale on the Macy's website can't really be considered vintage, can it?). Of course I had to look at her other pins too and I found another maybasket pin! Even cuter than the first. So what can I say? I bought them both. (The seller combined shipping. The total cost was about what the twins and I pay for takeout on Saturday nights.)

Two little plates and two lovely maybasket pins are at this moment winging their way towards me. I am so pleased with myself. 

But there remains that problem of taste. I want to have good taste. I admire people who have good taste -- well, up to a point. The real truth might be that I admire people who have good taste but aren't confined by it, who also feel free to go beyond it into whimsy. I fear, though, that I tend to bypass good taste altogether and go straight for whimsy, and beyond that into cutesiness. 

And messiness. One might even say squalor. But we won't say that, because it is Mother's Day and I'm trying to be nice to myself.

My taste is mine. I like what I like. Someday, I may learn to live with that.

Meanwhile, in the Butterfly Meadow section of the replacements.com website I noticed something I'd never seen before -- Butterfly Meadow holiday china! There are actually two versions of it -- a newer, rather loud version with poinsettias and holly (and butterflies), and the one I like, a more delicate pattern, with butterflies decorating a little Christmas tree. (Butterflies and bees at Christmas. Maybe it is supposed to be taking place in Australia.) But I love it! Sadly, it is out of stock and not available anywhere. I can only watch and wait for it to appear on eBay or Etsy. Someone, somewhere must have bought it at some point and would like to sell it to me now.

I'm not going to post a list of resolutions for the week, because I can mostly just use last week's. We were sick all week! What an awful illness this has been! Today was the first time in EIGHT DAYS that my temperature was normal. That's crazy. Teen B stayed home all week except Friday, so I didn't have much time to myself. I'm still coughing a little, he's still coughing a little. Teen A is completely back to normal, but since he came down with it on April 23rd, that's not saying much. Oh, and we all got covid tests and they all came back negative. Just a cold. Just a virus. Good grief.

There are three weeks left of school. I can't do much in three weeks, but I'll do what I can. Maybe now at least we'll be healthy. There's nothing special on the schedule for this coming week, but that just means it has yet to be revealed. I'm hoping it won't be anything bad, but whatever it is, we'll try to roll with it. We're supposed to get a lot of rain, and that will green things up even more. Still no onions in bloom, and I haven't seen any lilacs, nor has a hummingbird stopped by our feeder. Maybe by next weekend. And then it will finally be time to plant some annuals, and pretty soon summer will be here.

The lovely month of May

What joy to have made it to May! I'm actually terrified of feeling or expressing joy right now, because it seems like something terrible is ALWAYS around the corner, but I am happy that it's May. And I say that even though I am sick.

Yes, sick, and apparently it's not covid (I am fully vaccinated now, with 5 days left of the final 2-week waiting period). The boys and I have/had a bad cold. Teen A brought it home with him last weekend. Last Monday I took him to Centaurus High School to get a covid test, and I kept both him and Teen B home from school on Tuesday while we waited for the results. They were negative, so I sent Teen B back to school by himself on Wednesday, while Teen A stayed home and coughed and sneezed. But Wednesday night Teen B complained of a sore throat, so I kept him home Thursday and Friday. Teen A was starting to feel better Thursday and was very much back to normal by Friday, but he still had a bad cough, so I kept him home too.

And of course, on Friday my throat started feeling weird. I had a bad sore throat Saturday, and today seems to be my transition day. My throat is slightly sore, I have a headache, and my voice sounds terrible. I assume that by tomorrow I will be spewing mucus everywhere, and on we'll go. 

I don't mind being sick. It's such a novel experience! None of us has had anything this past year -- all that social distancing and mask wearing and everything being shut down saw to that. I wonder whether our bodies are reacting to these colds more strongly because we're out of practice? I can't remember ever seeing Teen A and Teen B this sick before. Teen A, especially, was wiped out by it, and of course Teen B's not out of the woods yet. I don't know how sick I'm going to be. But it's all right. I think I can do what I need to do (cat care, kid care). We have another quiet week ahead of us, though you never know what will pop up unexpectedly.

Speaking of which, last week was more exciting than I had planned, and not just because of our illnesses. On Monday, when I drove Teen A out to Centaurus (in Lafayette) for his covid test, I parked in the lot where they told us to, turned off the engine -- and then my rearview mirror fell off the windshield. I was so startled it took me a while to understand what had happened. I hadn't even realized that the rearview mirror was attached to the windshield, and I certainly had no idea that it was possible for it to fall off. It was as if my hand had suddenly separated from my arm -- things behaving in ways they shouldn't. I have since learned that other people have had this happen to them, especially in accidents when the impact shakes the mirror loose, but it is not common.

The mirror was still attached to the electrical system of the car by way of a cable (which I had also never noticed before), and so now it was hanging by that cable. I had no idea how I would get home, but I got there -- holding the mirror steady in one hand while I drove slowly and carefully with my left hand. If I didn't hold on to the mirror it would sway around and bang into the windshield. I was sure a police officer would see me and pull me over, but that didn't happen.

Here are some things that did happen, though, over the next few days:

• Called my car repair place and sent them photos of what had happened. They told me they didn't fix that kind of thing and that I should go to Safelite Auto Glass. 
• Tried to book an appointment on the Safelite website, but there were no appointments for this type of thing. On the chat feature, someone called Balthazar told me to drop by and they'd fix it, but he ignored me when I asked what it would cost.
• Decided I couldn't go to Safelite because it was very scary to drive with the mirror hanging down, and what if it turned out they wanted me to make an appointment after all?
  
• Called Rocket Boy and cried to him.
• Called another auto glass place -- the guy said he could fit me in on May 12th (this was April 27th). When I said I didn't want to wait that long, he suggested I buy a repair kit from an auto supply store and do it myself.
  
• Rocket Boy called yet another auto glass place who said I could stop by their shop in Boulder and they'd do it without an appointment, if I got there around 8 am. At 8 am I am normally getting the twins ready to leave the house to go to school and I cannot be at an auto glass place.
• Called that auto glass place myself and they told me they could only fix it at their shop in Littleton (40? miles away), or I could make an appointment and someone would come to my house to fix it on May 6th. Or I could buy a repair kit and do it myself.
• Twins complained because we were running out of food (I had been planning to shop on Monday after Teen A's covid test). In the old days I could have walked to King Soopers, but of course it is closed for the duration following the shooting. Debated whether to take a Lyft to another store, sign up for InstaCart, or ask a neighbor for help.
  
• Appealed to my brother-in-law, Rick, who agreed that I was better off not doing it myself. He had various suggestions over the course of a couple of emails, including calling my insurance company for ideas.
• Cried to Rocket Boy who agreed to call the insurance company for me. He also told me to unplug the mirror so that it wouldn't dangle from the cable anymore.
  
• Tried and failed to unplug the mirror. Watched a video on YouTube and learned that unplugging the mirror is complicated. Decided not to pursue that.
  
• Rocket Boy called the insurance company, the car repair place again, and then the dealer. The dealer said they would set aside a repair kit for me and would do the repairs for the cost of the kit if I got over there right away.
• Taped the mirror to the windshield with a lot of packing tape and drove carefully and nervously to the dealer, using back roads (South Boulder Road to Cherryvale).
• Explained myself to a nice woman at the dealer and she took the car away to fix it while I sat at a picnic table in the shade and read a book.
• The nice woman came back an hour later and told me they couldn't fix it without replacing the entire windshield for $350 (though they did manage to unplug the mirror, so it wasn't hanging down anymore). She suggested I go to Safelite Auto Glass.
• Called Rocket Boy and cried to him some more.
  
• Very very sadly, drove to Safelite Auto Glass, where a nice man called Mike fixed it in ten minutes. For free. No appointment necessary. Perhaps he could see the misery in my eyes.
  
• Went to the 30th Street King Soopers and bought $150 worth of groceries. Drove home and put them away. All better now (this was Thursday).
  

As I have said many times before, I am no good in an emergency. This experience just provided more evidence of that.

So, now it is May. It is rainy today (in Colorado, May showers bring June flowers), and a little while ago we had some significant hail. I just checked my car's windshield, but it is fine. The hail was pea-sized -- we almost never get golf ball-sized hail like other places do. (I'm not complaining!) Not much is in bloom yet, but it'll come (unless we have a stupid snowstorm). This picture shows the lilac bush putting out leaves! It's a late lilac; it won't bloom for a long time yet, but other people's lilacs will be in bloom soon. I'll bet by the time I'm over this cold, there will be lilacs blooming on my walks.

I'll make some plans for May, since it's a new month.

Checking up on Quarterly goals (2nd quarter):

• Read a presidential biography. I've read one biography of Andrew Johnson so far and am about to start another.
  
• Work on a project. No progress yet on the sewing machine (it's still not out of the box). Try again in May.
  

Monthly goals (May):

• Contact with friends and/or family members. In April I wrote to my friend in Los Angeles and interacted with family members about my stupid mirror. So far in May I have had another Zoom call with friends and we're tentatively planning to go to St. Louis at the end of the month and see Rocket Boy. I'm still waiting a bit before I plan a real get-together with a friend.
  
• Book group. I've already finished the book (The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters by Balli Kaur Jaswal). We meet here -- in person, outside -- on the 24th.
  
• Classics Challenge 2021. I read the first two books on my list in April and wrote posts about them. I'll try to read two more in May, to catch up.
  
• Take the twins somewhere fun. Next weekend or the week after might be a nice time to visit the Botanic Garden or the Museum or the Zoo. I'll see.
  
• Donate $$ to some organization. I chose an environmental group in April: $50 to the Desert Tortoise Council. In May I want to donate to a covid relief fund, probably something that would help India. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to choose.
  
• Work on a goal on my master list. Although we still have health issues to deal with (still haven't decided what to do about Teen B's orthodontia, and I see an endocrinologist on the 18th), I want to focus on something else. There are four weeks left of school and I am going to try to write two days a week (Tuesday and Thursday) for those four weeks.
  

And my weekly/daily plans:

• Mon: Do school with the kids at home. Take Teen B to get a covid test if I have to. Call IT about his Chromebook? Take a short walk if it's not pouring, make banana bread and something easy for dinner.
  
• Tues & Thurs: Get the kids to school. Write for two hours. Do the kids' laundry (Tues). Put out the trash & recycling at night (Thurs). Spend 30 minutes cleaning. Lift weights, take a walk if I'm up to it, do something simple for dinner.
  
• Wed & Fri: Get the kids to school. Work with the sewing machine (take it out of the box, read the first part of the instructions). Call the electrician back about rewiring the kitchen at the rental (Wed). Pay bills, do my laundry (Fri). Spend 30 minutes cleaning. Take a walk, do something simple for dinner.
  
• Sat & Sun: Go for walks, get the kids outside. If not raining, work in the garden. Support group at 1pm, get takeout for dinner (Sat). Blog, make something simple for dinner (Sun). Sunday is Mother's Day, so maybe we'll do something special, but probably nothing more than a trip to a coffee shop or an ice cream place. Or we could go buy some flowers. I'm still waiting for Two Babies to be old enough to take me out to a lovely brunch. Maybe in 10 years? Or 20?
  

It all sounds doable, though who knows what interesting complication will be thrown into the mix. What will break? Who will experience a medical disaster? Since it's impossible to know, I'll try not to think about it. I'll just enjoy the rain and the greening up of all the trees and plants. The nuthatches have not returned, but I hung up my freshly-filled hummingbird feeder yesterday, and I'm eagerly awaiting its first visitors. The kitties will love watching them through the windows, and I'll resume trying to discourage the neighbor cats from going after them.

I like Spring, and Colorado is so stingy with it -- it's late to arrive and then sometimes it seems like it's gone in an instant. In May I always spend some time missing Ann Arbor and how glorious May was there. And then I acknowledge that I live in Colorado now, a lovely place in its own way, and I focus on enjoying what it has to offer.