Reading post: March

Well, it's the last day of March, so time for a reading post.

The books I drew from my "Briefly Noted" envelopes this month were Death by Water, a novel by Kenzaburo Oe, described as "sombre," and Word by Word, a nonfiction work by Kory Stamper described as "an unlikely page-turner." The Oe book didn't work out, so I picked again and got Neighbors and Other Stories by Diane Oliver, said to "exhibit a unique delicacy."

• Death by Water by Kenzaburo Oe, translated from the Japanese by Deborah Boliver Boehm (2009-2015). The night before I got this from the library, I dreamed that it was a slim paperback. "That'll only take me an evening to read," I said happily. The next day I picked up the book. Over 400 pages. Oof. I tried it for a few nights, but couldn't get into it. Then I read a review which said you'd be better off reading Oe's earlier works first, not starting here. Fine, thanks for the advice, goodbye book.
  
  
• Word by Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries by Kory Stamper (2017). I was excited to read this, forgetting that books like this aren't written for linguists, they're written for the (reasonably well-educated) general public, and so I had to wade through tedious explanations of descriptive vs. prescriptive language and that sort of thing. But the chapters about how a dictionary is built were interesting and sometimes very funny. I was amused by all the things people (supposedly) write to Merriam-Webster and complain about:

"...writing a verbal illustration like <tomorrow is supposed to be sunny> may be problematic, because there are supposedly people out there who will assume that if they look up "suppose" in the dictionary and read <tomorrow is supposed to be sunny>, that means tomorrow will, in fact, be sunny, and they will write in and complain when tomorrow is not sunny."

• Neighbors and Other Stories by Diane Oliver (2022). This sounded so depressing -- stories from the 1960s by a Black woman who died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 22. I don't quite understand why they were suddenly published now. But the stories are good! Depressing, OK, yeah, but good enough that I didn't mind the depressingness, mostly. Sort of amazing when you consider that she was so young when she wrote them. And they were interesting to me, because they were from an era that I lived through, but I certainly had no idea what Black people were experiencing at that time. This was actually worth reading. I liked almost every story. You do wonder what she might have become, had she lived.

Best books of the 21st century so far

In February I decided to read some books off the New York Times list by authors with last names beginning with E.

• The Years by Annie Ernaux, translated from the French by Alison L. Strayer (2018). I was interested to read this because I enjoyed a memoir by Ernaux in the New Yorker about when she had breast cancer. But I had trouble connecting with this book. It's a memoir of her life (she was born in 1940), or at least the years she lived through, but it's told mostly in 1st person plural ("we...") and 3rd person plural ("they..."). I think this was supposed to make it a more general story of all France, but I just found it distancing. It almost seemed like she was making fun of people in the past. The only parts of the book I liked were when she switched into 3rd person singular ("she..."). I can't help thinking this is a translation problem, but I'll never know, since I don't know French and will never be able to read it in the original.
  
  
• 
  A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan (2010). While waiting for this (I was on hold for it for a while) I read a book of Egan's short stories called Emerald City and Other Stories (1993). I had mixed feelings about that book, which was about disappointed beautiful rich people. NOT who I want to read about. But when Goon Squad finally showed up, I liked it better. Didn't love it, but found it interesting. It's an attempt to show the passage of time through a lot of disjointed stories about people who dip in and out of each other's lives. I kept forgetting who was who -- too many names, too many people who didn't seem that different from each other. I'm not sorry I read it, but it's yet another book from this list that *I* wouldn't have put on the list.
  

So I've now read 39 of the books on the list of the top 100. 

Other reading

I've had it in mind to read some books off the "other" NY Times list (the one from readers who disliked the official list) whenever I had the time. Mostly I haven't had the time, because the books from the regular list and my "Briefly Noted" choices have taken so long to read. But at the very end of February I started reading a book from that list, Piranesi by Susanna Clark (2020), and finished it on March 1st. Now THAT was a good book! Highly recommended. Very unusual, very interesting, hard to put down (obviously). I would have put this on the main list.

My other reading this month consisted mainly of the book for the book group (The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Luiz Zafon, translated from the Spanish by Lucia Graves -- pretty good, although I didn't think it was as great as its sales and reviews would suggest) and a mystery by Nevada Barr, Blind Descent, which is set at Carlsbad Caverns National Park. I picked it up at the Carlsbad Caverns gift shop, even though it looked familiar -- and sure enough, I realized right away that I'd read it before. But it's a good book, not just a good mystery. It really really really gives a sense of what it's like to be deep inside a cave, something I never want to do. I spent the rest of the trip reading it, ignoring the book I'd brought to read: No Ordinary Time: Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt: The Home Front in World War II by Doris Kearns Goodwin. That wasn't even the FDR book I meant to read next, but I found it at Barnes & Noble, so I bought it and brought it along, but didn't read a word of it. So I've still got to read this and another book about FDR over the next three months to stay on schedule. Hmm.

Next month

In April I will read two more books from "Briefly Noted" and try to read a couple more from the NY Times list, focusing on the letter "F." And maybe a book about FDR.

Back from the Big Bend

We are home from our epic trip to southwest Texas! It was a good trip, though perhaps not what the twins would have chosen, had they understood what they were getting into. Last year, after our not much fun Spring Break trip to St. Louis for Rocket Boy's second surgery, Teen A suggested that we go to Texas next year. Taking him at his word, I planned this trip.

Worried about how to afford it, I had been stockpiling cash for months, especially after Rocket Boy was fired. Every time I went to the bank, I got $100 or $150. By the time we left, I had $750, and on the trip I paid cash as often as I could (though national parks don't take cash). Yesterday after we got home I paid off both credit cards. I'm still waiting for a few charges to appear, but the trip is mostly paid for, so I'm happy about that.

Sunday, March 23

We left Sunday morning, not quite as early as planned because the twins didn't wake up until 9 am (which was when I was planning to leave). But we bustled around and were on the road by about 9:30, which was great. Teen A was the driver -- and he remained the driver for the entire trip! I was delighted, since I hate driving the Highlander. Rocket Boy kept offering to take over, and he kept asking Teen B if HE wanted to drive, but Teen A just kept on driving. He is becoming an excellent driver, just needs to slow down a little. "Teen A, slow down," were the most common words spoken on the trip. I can't remember if I ever saw the speedometer go over 100, but definitely 90s (the speed limit was often 75). He gradually figured out that high speeds on small back roads were dangerous (sudden curves, sudden drops, potholes, dogs lying in the road, etc.) and slowed himself down. I admit I thought getting a speeding ticket might be good for him, but we saw almost no law enforcement vehicles on the entire trip.

We ate lunch at the Country Kitchen in Pueblo, and despite the 50 cent surcharge on eggs, our bill was $2 lower than on our Tucson trip two years ago ($91.09 with tip). Got gas at a Circle K before getting back on the road, and later got gas and snacks at a Love's in Las Vegas, New Mexico. (Snacks from convenience stores are a big thing for the twins and me on road trips. Rocket Boy highly disapproves, but I figure it keeps us happy.) We reached our Best Western in Moriarty, New Mexico around 7 pm, but unfortunately almost no restaurants were open, because it was Sunday. We ended up eating at Arturo's Mexican Food, kind of a dive ($61.28 for the four of us -- I paid cash). I had cheese enchiladas which I couldn't finish. Then we went swimming in the hotel pool, and that was fun, but later I felt sick (from the Mexican food), too sick to take my shot, which I'd brought with me.

Political Task: I made a sign (see photo) and held it up to the car window, but I'm not sure anybody saw it, since we were often in the right lane (I was sitting on the right side of the back seat) and when we did pass cars, Teen A was going 90 miles an hour. Still, I tried. 

Teen A was displeased: "Mom, take that sign down!" We had warned the twins and each other not to talk politics on this trip to red red Texas, and Teen A was worried. I would take it down and then put it back up again when he wasn't looking.

Monday, March 24

This was the only day with a serious deadline: we had reservations at Carlsbad Caverns National Park for 1:15 pm and it was a four-hour drive from Moriarty. But we made it! We got up early, ate breakfast at the hotel, and got on the road before 9 am. Even with a stop for gas (& snacks & bathrooms) in Roswell, we made it to the national park before 1:00. There was no time for a formal lunch, so we just ate snacks in the car. But we were early enough that I had time to go to the gift shop and buy postcards and a shirt for Teen A before entering the cave.

When we checked in for our reservation, the ranger told me that if we felt up to it, we should walk down into the cave instead of taking the elevator. I swear he told me it would only take a few minutes, and when I told him my "kids" were teenagers, he said oh yeah, you should definitely do it. I was pleased that he would think I was capable -- must be that 30-lb weight loss.

So we walked down (see photo of me and Teen A standing at the beginning of the walk). It's definitely worth doing -- you see a lot of cool stuff, including the cave swallows at the entrance -- but it's 1.25 miles straight downhill (the equivalent of a 7-story building) in the dark and it took us about an hour. Not 4-5 minutes, which is what I thought the ranger said (Teen B told me he really said "45 minutes to an hour"). 

By the time we got to the main cavern, I could barely walk. It wasn't the distance, it was the fact that it was all downhill. And then we still had 1.25 miles of walking to do in the main cavern! My calves were terribly sore for the next 3 days.

Before we traversed the main cavern, I insisted on going over to the funny little store they have down there and buying a granola bar and a Sprite, to raise my blood sugar. Rocket Boy was scornful, but I ignored him. I know when I need to eat something and this was one of those times.

The main cavern is incredibly beautiful, with an endless collection of all different kinds of formations. My pictures don't do it justice at all. This is something you just have to see for yourself.

After finally exiting the cave (via the elevator!) we went to the gift shop AGAIN and bought some books, and then drove back to the town of Carlsbad and ate a late lunch/early dinner at a very smelly Denny's ($97.48 plus tip). Then Teen A drove us to our next hotel, the Holiday Inn Express in Van Horn, Texas. They had a pool -- but it had no water in it -- so we just hung out in the room and went to bed early. Very comfortable beds! I felt well enough to take my shot this night.

Political task: There was actually a mailbox down in the cavern at Carlsbad, so while I sat and ate my little snack, I wrote a postcard to Donald Trump, telling him what a wonderful treasure the park was and how he should not fire any rangers, etc. Then I mailed it. A couple was standing there sadly because the little store was out of postcard stamps, so I gave them some of mine. A good deed and a satisfying political task.

Tuesday, March 25

We were all very tired from Carlsbad, so we got up late and messed around and didn't leave the hotel until maybe 10 am or so. I hadn't planned the day out very well, either, so we didn't get to do everything we wanted to do. But, you know, it happens.

Our first stop was Fort Davis National Historic Site, outside of Fort Davis, Texas (82 miles from our hotel). We got there at 11:50 and the visitor center closed for lunch at 12! I had just enough time to buy a few postcards and glance at some displays before the ranger closed up shop. I asked him if they had been affected by Trump's cuts, but he said they had always been understaffed.

We wandered around -- there was still plenty to see outside of the visitor center -- and then I suddenly realized that Rocket Boy and Teen A were hiking the trail to the top of the mountain! It must have been Teen A's suggestion, because he would never have done a hike if Rocket Boy suggested it, but RB was happy to join Teen A on it. Can you see them up on top in the photo? Rocket Boy is wearing a white shirt and Teen A is all in black. The photo is very blurry because I was zooming in. 

I was feeling a little sick from the shot, so I spent most of the time just sitting around on benches with Teen B. We did walk around a little. I saw some wildflowers and a little bird that might have been a rock wren, but I couldn't get a good enough look at it and my binoculars were in the car (Teen A and Rocket Boy had the keys). 

We stopped at a grocery store in Fort Davis called Lowe's and bought things to have for lunch (I bought a packaged salad). Total cost was $28.47 -- I paid cash. 

Then we drove 32 miles to our next stop, Balmorhea State Park (cost: $7 per person to get in), which has an enormous, incredible swimming pool, built in the 1930s by the Civilian Conservation Corps. I had never heard of this place, but I read about it in the Lonely Planet Texas travel book I'd picked up a few days before the trip. It is the world's largest spring-fed swimming pool, covering 1.3 acres. Part of the pool is 25 feet deep! It is just huge, like something out of a dream (if you dream about swimming pools, as I often do).

Both Rocket Boy and I really wanted to swim in the pool, but it seemed as though we didn't have time, because we wanted to get to Big Bend National Park in time to go to a visitor center before it closed. So we just sat at picnic tables and ate our lunches, and then I did go down to the water and stick my feet in it. As you can see, the pool has fish in it! That's a catfish swimming past my feet. Oh, how I wish I could have swum in that pool.

But instead we packed up and got back on the road. That was when I discovered, by checking the park website online, that the visitor center I'd been intending to visit, Persimmon Gap, was closed for the season. Oops.

There was another good visitor center to go to, Panther Junction, but we were too late to get there before it closed at 5 pm. Oops. I realized that we really could have gone swimming after all. Oops.

No worries. Stuff like this happens on trips. We decided to just drive to our next hotel, the Terlingua Ranch Lodge. It was a very long drive from Balmorhea to the lodge, 135 miles on winding roads, with the last 3 miles on gravel. We first went back to that grocery store in Fort Davis and got more bottles of iced tea for the road ($7.87), and also stopped for gas at a place called Uncle's in Alpine. We reached the lodge around 6 pm or so and checked in.

I had some misgivings about this "hotel" and might have canceled our reservation and gone somewhere else, except that when you make a reservation, they charge you for the first night -- and it's nonrefundable, something I didn't notice until after I'd made the reservation. Since I had reserved two rooms at $168 each, and $336 seemed like a lot of money to forfeit, I kept the reservation. The kids were not pleased with my choice, but oh well. I thought there were pluses and minuses. Pros and cons.

Pro: spacious rooms in these cute little cabins, good air conditioning, quiet & peaceful, a gift shop (Teen A got a shirt), a place to do laundry (we did), a pool, and an all-day restaurant on site. Also, so many birds! And javelinas walking around in the morning! The lodge has a 2-night minimum, so everyone there was staying at least 2 nights and that seemed to make people friendly. We talked to a lot more people than we did anywhere else on the trip.

Con: a terrible road to get there, very long drive to Big Bend National Park, beds weren't very comfortable, no TVs or coffee makers or microwave, etc., very low-flow showers, extremely spotty internet access, pool was freezing cold.

About that pool: We ate dinner at the on-site restaurant, the Bad Rabbit Cafe (I had a grilled cheese -- cost of the whole dinner before tip was $57.80), and then we went swimming, so it was starting to get dark and the pool was icy. But the bats were out, and they went swooping over the pool, dozens of them, while we swam. It was just heavenly. I had one of those moments that can happen on trips where all was suddenly right with the world. I asked Teen B to take this picture of me in the pool, so I could remember.

When I got back to our room (Teen A and I shared, while Rocket Boy and Teen B had the room next door, with a shared front porch) the song "Bookends" by Simon & Garfunkel was going through my head:

A time it was, and what a time it was, it was

a time of innocence, a time of confidences

Long ago it must be...

I have a photograph

Preserve your memories

They're all that's left you

Big Bend is a "dark sky" area, so we were told to turn off all visible lights by 10 pm. The stars were not actually that great, because it was a little hazy (a storm was approaching). But better than Boulder. We looked at the stars for a long time. And then I had kind of an awful night, because the air conditioning was on too high and was blowing right at my bed and I was too cold to sleep. But eventually I slept.

Political task: I had made some little signs on notebook paper, saying things like "Stop the Coup! Call your senators and representative!" Using tape I bought at a convenience store along the way, I taped one of these little signs to the door of the restroom stall I used at Fort Davis. This may have been considered vandalism, I don't know, but I hope someone saw it and thought about it.

Wednesday, March 26

This was supposed to be Big Bend day for real, but we got off to an extremely slow start because the Bad Rabbit Cafe was EXTREMELY slow that morning. We showed up at 9 am and weren't done with breakfast until 10:30! And then Rocket Boy saw someone he'd been talking to the night before, so he went over to that man's table. The kids and I went back to the cabin and watched javelinas wandering around the complex, and I also saw a pair of Pyrrhuloxia! (like grayish Cardinals). I looked for Scaled quail, which people had told us frequented the area, but didn't see any.

RB didn't come back to the cabin until 11, and then we had the long long drive into the park (72 miles on winding roads). We still didn't have a proper map of the park, and of course internet access was terrible, so we couldn't look things up online. I decided that we should go to the Chisos Basin visitor center and talk to a ranger there, but when we got there (around 12:30?) the visitor center was closed for lunch. Of course. However, Chisos Basin is where the park lodge is, and there is a restaurant! So we walked over there and had lunch. We all had wraps -- Teen A and Rocket Boy had hummus wraps, and Teen B and I had something with meat, chicken or turkey or whatever ($74.53 plus tip for all). The food was decent and our waiter was nice and we all felt good after that.

Then the visitor center was finally open, so we went in and talked to a ranger and finally got a map and some advice. Rocket Boy asked the ranger if they'd had firings there and she said yes, but they also had rehirings, so it was better. She was clearly unhappy about the situation, though she didn't say much. I bought some postcards and a key chain for Teen A and some pamphlets about birds and flowers. 

Then we set out to "see the park." Since it was already early afternoon and getting very hot, we decided we would just do the Ross Maxwell Scenic Drive and call it good. That's the #1 recommendation for park visitors, and it's worth doing. We stopped first at Sam Nail ranch and did the half mile loop hike (see RB and Teen A setting out on the walk). It's supposed to be a good place to see birds, but I didn't see any, and Teen B didn't want to sit and wait for some to show up. It was probably in the mid-80s at that point.

We didn't get out at all the stops on the scenic drive, because it kept getting hotter. We did stop at Sotol Vista, because the ranger said it was spectacular. 

I suppose the problem with "spectacular" sights for us is that we live in Colorado, plus we've spent time in the Monument Valley area, Arizona and Utah and all that. The type of "spectacular" that you get in Big Bend isn't really all that "spectacular" if you've seen those other places. I mean, Big Bend is really really nice, but not so much because of its "spectacularity."

Thinking about it later, it seemed to me that what's special about Big Bend is its quietness, its loneliness, its desolation (in a positive sense, that is). It reminded us (Rocket Boy and me) of Ridgecrest -- I mean, not exactly, but there were similarities. The Chihuahuan Desert isn't the Mojave Desert, but they're both lovely deserts.  

Big Bend is full of prickly pear cactus, and maybe 1/4 of them are purple! Teen B asked me why the cactus was purple, so I looked it up in my wildflower pamphlet from the visitor center. It's just called Purple prickly pear, Opuntia azurea var. diplopurpurea, and it's endemic to the Big Bend region. Somehow I managed not to get a picture of it -- sorry! You'll have to be satisfied with ravens on top of a pit toilet enclosure.

For some reason my family had a very hard time with the name of the national park we were visiting. The kids thought I was saying "Big Ben" and kept looking around for a giant clock. Rocket Boy kept calling it "Great Bend," even when talking to rangers and such, confusing them. The kids, when they got the name sorted out, thought it had something to do with all the winding roads. No, we told them, it's a bend in the river. What river? So we figured we'd better continue driving along until we could actually see the Rio Grande River which gives Big Bend its name.

If it hadn't been so hot (over 90 degrees at this point) we would have taken the Santa Elena Canyon Trail, which is only 1.6 miles round trip. Some people we met at the lodge had done it the day before with their little kids and enjoyed it. But we were approaching misery at this point, so we skipped it. We got out and looked at the river and this lovely view of the canyon... and then went back to the car and headed back down the drive.

We were going to go to the Panther Junction visitor center, but we got there just as it was closing. The gas pumps, however, are open 24/7, so we got gas and then headed off to Terlingua proper (our lodge was not really in Terlingua), where there is a famous eating place called the Starlight Restaurant. We got there around 6 pm, but there was already a long waiting list. We were told the wait would be 90 minutes. "90 minutes!" said the twins. "That's fine," I told the woman, giving her my phone number. She sent me a link to the waiting list, so I could watch us go from #22 to #1, which actually only took about an hour.

While we waited, we wandered around the gigantic gift shop next door to the restaurant. I've never seen a store like that one. It had everything gift-y you could imagine. We eventually bought Teen A a new belt ($27.01) and I considered buying a whole lot of other things... but you know, we have so much stuff...

Then we went outside, where people were sitting around on the porch listening to some old guys play music, and we looked for a Greater Roadrunner that Rocket Boy had seen earlier when he went to the restroom. Internet was better here, so I looked up roadrunner calls and played a recording of one. It sounded a little like a Great-horned Owl. Pretty soon, out popped the roadrunner, to see what other roadrunner was making that noise. This is Rocket Boy's photo, not mine.

Eventually we got to #1 on the waiting list and were called in. It turned out that the Starlight Restaurant is not all that great if you're not a big meat eater. Teen B and Rocket Boy had the salmon, and I had shrimp tacos, which were blazingly hot from jalapenos. (I considered ordering the Tequila Marinated Texas Quail, but I didn't think I would be able to bring myself to actually chew and swallow a quail.) Teen A had a big bowl of chili. It was good, just not quite worth an hour's wait, and our waiter was kind of out of it and forgot to bring our drinks. But it was fine. I paid in cash (about $80 plus tip).

We drove back to the lodge and got there by about 8:40, in time to have dessert at the Bad Rabbit Cafe before it closed at 9. I know, gilding the lily, but it was our last night in Big Bend -- why not go for broke? Teen A and I had brownie sundaes, Teen B had a plain brownie, and Rocket Boy had a piece of cheesecake. Then we went to bed, and around 11 pm it started to rain. We were treated to the biggest thunderstorm the Big Bend area had experienced in years. It went on for hours, constant thunder and lightning, over 2 inches of rain in all. It was hard to sleep, but I didn't mind.

Political task: We decided that our talk with the ranger was one political task for the day, but I also wrote President Trump another postcard, this one about Fort Davis and the buffalo soldiers there, and how they were so much better than stupid DUI hire Pete Hegseth (the "Signal" story had just broken). I mailed it in the park but I can't remember where, maybe at Chisos Basin.

Thursday, March 27

Time to bid adieu to the Big Bend country and start driving back to Boulder. I found myself curiously sad to be leaving the area. In the morning it had stopped raining, but everything was wet and it was a little chilly (especially compared to the 90 degree temps the day before). Teen A and I woke up early and packed, but at 9 am, when I knocked on Teen B and Rocket Boy's door, I discovered them both still sound asleep. While they got up and dressed and packed, I looked for birds. I saw a darling female Ladder-backed Woodpecker in a tree by our cabin, and then three Curve-billed Thrashers! That's apparently a common bird in that area, but I couldn't remember ever having seen one before. Absolutely adorable. One of them sat still in a tree so I could examine its yellow eyes and curved bill. It looked exactly like the picture in my book. We didn't see any javelinas that morning, but I did see an enormous jackrabbit with long ears, the biggest rabbit I'd ever seen.

The one thing I forgot when packing up was my nightgown -- I think it was tangled up in the sheets and blankets of the bed and I didn't spot it. Such a funny thing to lose. I've had that nightgown for decades. Oh well.

We skipped breakfast, because the cafe was so slow, thinking we'd have brunch in Alpine. But we got stopped on the Terlingua Ranch Road because a section of the road had washed out during the thunderstorm the night before and someone driving a jeep had overturned into it. He was OK, but they were still trying to pull the jeep out that morning (using a John Deere tractor) and we had to wait while they got it out of the way. People had filled a section of the washed-out road with rocks, so that you could drive through, very carefully. All this was done by neighbors -- the county hadn't shown up yet. The sheriff arrived while we were standing around watching. He and Rocket Boy discussed the condition of the road. The sheriff said he'd been telling the county people that they needed to fix the road, but Big Bend only got about 3 inches of rain total last year, and apparently the county people thought it would be like that forever. We saw the county people coming as we drove away.

When we finally got out, we drove to Alpine, where we had lunch in a very fancy restaurant called the Spicewood. It wasn't quite what we wanted, but the food was delicious. I had a wedge salad with sweet potato fries on the side. The salad was so yummy! But I could only manage to eat half and it didn't seem like the kind of thing we could bring with us in the hot car. That was our most expensive meal of the trip -- $101.78 plus tip.

We drove through Marfa and stopped to look at the murals outside of town that celebrate the movie "Giant" that Rocket Boy and I watched back in January when we first decided to go to Big Bend. There was music playing: "Tumbling Tumbleweed." It was a little eerie, especially when you think of James Dean dying in a car crash before the movie was released.

We got gas at a Pilot in Van Horn, then stopped in Roswell and went to Dairy Queen for a snack around 3 pm. We reached the Best Western in Moriarty around 6 pm. None of us were very hungry, but Teen A, Rocket Boy and I went to Chili Hills restaurant for a light meal. I had a baked potato, Teen A had oatmeal, and Rocket Boy had a piece of peach pie ($32.79 plus tip). Then we went back to the hotel and swam in the pool. They had put us in the same room (209) we had Sunday night, and we knew the sofabed (which was supposed to accommodate a twin) was terrible. It was so terrible that both twins refused to sleep in it. Teen B had slept in it Sunday night, so he figured he was done, and Teen A was the driver, so he thought he should have a good bed. So Rocket Boy and I slept in it. "Slept" would be a better way to write it. It was not a good night.

Political task: I wrote another postcard to Trump, all about how wonderful Big Bend is and how he shouldn't fire rangers, etc., but didn't get a chance to mail it.

Friday, March 28

We got up early, on account of the terrible sofabed, and had a decent breakfast in the hotel. Back on Monday I don't think the TV in the breakfast room was on, but this day it was showing Fox News. Lovely. Still, it is educational to watch it sometimes. A vapid blond newscaster reported that Democrats use a lot of bad words when talking about Trump and Musk and whatnot. A banner proclaimed: "Party of Profanity?" over a muted video of a Black Democratic congressman swearing at a crowd of supporters. Then the vapid blond newscaster moved on to something else, not bothering to discuss WHY Democrats might be so angry that they're using profanity. I just shook my head. But Rocket Boy took matters into his own hands and changed the channel to CNN. Nobody said anything and we watched Wolf Blitzer in "The Situation Room" instead.

I thought this would be a bad day -- we were all tired and worn out from the trip. But it was fine. We stopped at a tiny post office in a little town (maybe Villanueva?) for me to mail my postcard to Trump, and then continued on. Rocket Boy wanted to take a look at Fort Union National Monument, outside the little town of Watrous, New Mexico, so we did that. It wasn't very interesting and the ranger seemed depressed. Rocket Boy asked him if he got many visitors to the site and he said "No." But in fact several other people arrived while we were there, so I guess he was having a busy day. The fort is basically in ruins now, and hasn't been rebuilt like Fort Davis, so we walked around looking at ruins and then left.

We had lunch at a little diner called The Oasis in Raton, New Mexico ($56.33 before tip -- I paid cash). From the window of the diner we could see a sign for a Denny's, but I was glad we hadn't known about that. Nice to give an independent restaurant some business. I had a tuna sandwich and a cup of soup -- blazing hot chili which I gave to Teen B to dip his tacos in. I would have trouble living in New Mexico, with everything so hot and spicy.

It was a long boring drive back to Boulder, with one more stop for gas at a Circle K in Colorado City, but we avoided the worst of the rush hour traffic, getting home around 6:30. The cats seemed puzzled but pleased to see us.

Political task: In the ladies room at Fort Union, I taped another one of my little signs to the toilet paper holder. I hope this isn't considered vandalism. It comes right off, since it's just held on with Scotch tape.

Oh, and I also held up my "Deport Elon" sign to the window a lot (I had made it more colorful, using crayons that I bought at a convenience store). As before, Teen A was displeased: "Take that sign down, Mom." I took it down. Then put it up again, back and forth all across New Mexico and Colorado. Again, I don't know if anyone actually saw it.

Saturday and today, March 29-30

Saturday was mainly laundry day (I did three loads). We were going to eat out, but it was raining too hard, so we had some frozen stuff (PF Chang's sesame chicken, peas). I wanted to go to bed early, but we didn't. It's OK.

And now Sunday. Teen B and I have already done the Starbucks run and we are just hanging out on this very gray day. There's a slight chance of rain later, but mostly it's just cloudy. And gloomy, I admit, but I'm really OK with this weather. We really needed the rain we got yesterday, and more rain -- and maybe snow! -- is predicted this week. Unfortunately the weather doesn't look good for next weekend, when the next big protest is to be held, but that's OK.

I should be depressed about everything that's happening in this country, but somehow I'm not. I'm so happy about how people are responding. I got an email this morning from one of my cousins (he's 70, a staunch Democrat but not really someone you'd think of as an activist) and in it he wrote all about his political activity! He's been going to protests! I just couldn't stop smiling as I read the email, and of course I immediately responded and told him what I was doing. 

I already have four of my five political tasks planned for this week. 

I haven't done a Mounjaro report in a few weeks, and I don't think I will do one today either, since I gained two pounds on the trip, lol. It's fine, it'll come off quickly. I promise to do a report next weekend, whether the news is good or bad.

 

Would I go back to the Big Bend area? I would! Only not with the twins. I don't think it's really a teenager type of place. They were good sports, but I think both of them were puzzled as to why we were there at all. But I would go back. I want to swim in the pool at Balmorhea State Park! And I want to go to the areas of Big Bend National Park that we didn't see, especially the Rio Grande Village which is considered the big birding hotspot in the park. 

 

Will we go back? I don't know. There are so many places in the world to go. But I'm 64 years old and I'm hoping to live to be 90. That gives me about 25 years to find the time to return. We'll see.

Heading out of town

I know it's March, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Where is the snow? Why is everything turning green? It honestly feels like it's a month later, like it's April. I've seen crocuses and even daffodils blooming in people's yards, and our maple tree is putting out little leaf buds.

I'm posting today because we're leaving on our spring break trip tomorrow morning, so I won't be able to do it then. 

This was a strange week for me because my old advisor, John, died on, I think, Tuesday night. We found out about it on Wednesday. I've been in a bit of a daze ever since. He was 86, a lifelong heavy smoker and drinker, had been on dialysis for a few years, had terminal cancer. By any reckoning, it was time to go and I think he was more or less ready. Actually, I'm not sure about the "ready" part. When he told us the cancer had come back, he did so very reluctantly, and sounded like he was trying not to cry. Maybe some people are never ready. He was still very involved in life, in the world, in his former students, i.e., us. Anyway, maybe he wasn't ready, but it was time.

I've been puzzling over what his death means to me. He's been a big part of my life, for oh, I don't know, almost 35 years? I can't remember when I started working with him, but probably around 1990, maybe 1991. I graduated in 1996 and we'd been struggling through my dissertation for many years at that point. After I graduated, I stayed on one more year and worked for and with him as well as another professor. Then in 1997 I moved to Boulder and I thought I was done with him and academia.

Ha ha ha. John tried never to let a student go, feeling responsible in some way, I don't know. After I moved, he continued to call me a few times a year, just to check up on how things were going. He occasionally came to Boulder, and I remember a bird walk we took together on one of those trips. I went back to Ann Arbor in 1999 and 2001, and then there was a conference in honor of him in 2006, and Rocket Boy and I went to that. I even gave a (very bad) talk. I think that was the last time I saw him -- but he kept calling. More recently, my old dissertation group started having these regular Zoom calls. I was looking back through old emails and I remembered that we tried to start zooming in 2020, but John got very sick, was in the hospital, etc. We finally started up in January 2021. So, a little over four years of those calls. 

I didn't always like the calls. I felt as though I had failed John, and myself, by not having an academic career, not publishing, etc. Sometimes that bothered me a lot, and I would try to think of an excuse to skip the call. Other times I would be in a better mood and would look forward to the calls. I liked the fact that he still cared about me, that he was still interested in anything I was working on, even my reading plans. But sometimes I wished he would leave me alone, so that I could forget that I hadn't been as successful as some of my friends. Mostly, though, I was tickled that there was still someone out there who cared about what I achieved. I mean, really, who cares what an unemployed woman in her 60s does with her time and her life? Nobody. But John did.

On those calls I sometimes still felt as though I were in my early 30s, with all my professional life ahead of me. Other times I absolutely felt my age -- but I felt as though mid-60s was a great time of life to start something new. After all, John in his 80s was still busily writing and publishing.

My friends and I are talking about having one more zoom call, on April 5th, and then after that I don't know. Maybe we'll keep doing calls occasionally throughout the year. I would like that. But John was the glue that held our group together.

 

Political stuff this week

Monday

Sunday night I unfortunately had another stomach issue. I took my first shot of 10 mg Mounjaro before bed, and that might have been the cause. God, I hate my digestive system! After extensive vomiting, I calmed down and was able to go to sleep, maybe around 2:30 am, but the wind was also blowing like a son of a gun (over 80 mph gusts). All this is to say that I was a basket case on Monday. After getting the kids off to school and feeding the cats I went back to bed and didn't get up until 3:30 pm. 

However, I did still make time for a political task. The whole point of these is that they're simple and can be done even on a bad day. I wrote Senator John Hickenlooper a nice email all about how I understood why he voted no on the CR, but I had supported it because I wanted the fired workers to have a chance to come back and get paid again, even if just for a short while. I encouraged him to get the other Democrats to kiss and make up, because it was a terribly difficult choice, no easy answers.

Tuesday

I was planning to go to a protest downtown at 5 pm, but 10 mg Mounjaro was kicking my butt, so I didn't. Instead, I got into a long conversation with someone on Reddit about protests and what the point of them is. I tried not to be snide, but to really listen, and at the end the other person said "I appreciate the different perspective, really helpful for me to hear." I responded that I was glad we found common ground, and then another person wrote, "This was a genuinely heartwarming interaction."

Although I don't normally count Reddit posts as political actions, I decided to count this one, because it affected multiple people in a good way.

Wednesday

I decided to write to Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, to thank him for "rebuking" Trump when Trump called for a judge's impeachment. But then I got an email from a friend telling me that our advisor had died the night before. That threw me into a tailspin. I wrote a letter, but it was kind of mixed up. I didn't mail it.

Thursday

I finally got my letter to Chief Justice Roberts written, though it took a couple of tries. My mind was just not functioning normally. I printed it out, signed it, put it in an envelope and mailed it at the post office.

Then, because that letter was really my Wednesday task, I wrote a "Comment" on Colorado governor Jared Polis's website, in support of the teachers rally that was held today at the capitol. (Nothing to do with Trump, but still a political task.) I would have gone to it, except that I had an appointment to get my hair cut. But I wasn't needed -- they had a huge turnout. School was canceled for the day because so many teachers wanted to attend. 

My comment to Governor Polis was not at all brilliant, in fact barely intelligible, but it contained the key words "No more cuts!" which showed which side I was on. I clicked submit. Done.

Friday

Rocket Boy and I were planning to go to the rally in Denver with Bernie Sanders and AOC this afternoon/evening. But in the end we decided we needed to stay home and get ready for the trip, not get ourselves all tired out right before we go. I heard there were over 34,000 people there!

But I still needed a political task. So in the end I wrote an email to the "answer desk" at the Small Business Administration. Trump has decided that the management of 43 million people's student loans will be moved from the Department of Education to the Small Business Administration. He announced this on the same day that the Administrator for the SBA, Kelly "I'm taller, thinner, blonder, and richer than you" Loeffler announced the drastic downsizing of that agency. Which makes no sense. I didn't write an angry email, just a puzzled one. I said I knew many people with student loans and also I had two teenagers approaching the time when they may need to take out student loans (I hope not, but we'll see). I said I didn't see how this was possibly going to work.

Just wanted to let them know that people out in the world are paying attention.

Saturday

My congressman, Joe Neguse, is holding a town hall in Louisville this afternoon, and if we weren't packing for the trip I would try to go. But I'm going to let others handle this one. I'm sure it's going to be crowded, which is wonderful! There's also a protest at the Tesla dealership in Superior, as there is every Saturday. I'd like to go to one of those some week, but not today. I feel OK because I did five things this week.

***

OK, that's probably enough for now. I'll do a post next Sunday to tell you about our trip.  I'm going to try to do political things on our trip, too, but it will obviously be more challenging. I am wondering if we'll see signs (literally) of protest at the national parks. We're planning to visit Carlsbad Caverns national park on Monday, Fort Davis national historic site on Tuesday, Big Bend national park on Tuesday and Wednesday, and Fort Union national monument on Friday, so there are lots of possibilities. Or I can just write postcards to Trump and mail them from each place. We shall see.

Crazy March

Whew! We are finally done with the musical! I thought this week would be easier, because I didn't have to make food for the musical dinners. I considered signing up for one of the bake sales, but so many other people signed up that I could tell they didn't need me. So all we had to do this week was drive Teen B back and forth to practices and performances. But it still took up a lot of time, plus dinner was weird every day, with him not there and yet possibly wanting some of it when he got home at 10 pm. It threw everything off and I got very little done. Also, it was the first week of Daylight Saving Time, so we were constantly tired. Among the things that didn't get done:

• NO writing
• NO protests (though I did do other political stuff, see below)
• Almost NO walks (last Sunday and Wednesday, that was it)
• NO weight lifting or stretch videos
  
• NO genealogy
• NO trip planning
• NO paperwork
• Almost NO cooking, mostly just this and that, a lot of cereal and sandwiches

After the first couple of days I said screw it, it's a weird week, just go with the flow. So we did. 

Rocket Boy and I saw two performances of the musical: opening night, on Wednesday, and closing night, Saturday. For the Wednesday performance we sat in the balcony so we could see Teen B in the orchestra pit, and that was fun, but we couldn't hear very well. They don't have good speakers in the balcony or something. With some of the songs we couldn't understand the words at all, and I kept thinking, what are they shouting about? Why are people laughing?

Saturday night we sat in the fifth row, and the play suddenly became MUCH more comprehensible. But both nights I was struck by how the basic theme of Matilda fits with what we're going through right now, with the autocratic overthrow of the government. From the song "Naughty," which we could hear both nights because the singer articulated so well:

Just because you find that life's not fair, it
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it
If you always take it on the chin and wear it
Nothing will change

 

Even if you're little, you can do a lot, you
Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you
If you sit around and let them get on top, you
Might as well be saying you think that it's okay
And that's not right
And if it's not right
You have to put it right

I mean, doesn't that just say it all?

That seems like a good segue into what I did to save the world this week.

Political Tasks

Monday: At my yearly physical I asked my doctor about next year's flu vaccine, thinking she might have heard something. She just shook her head and looked sad. We talked a little about political activity. She said she signs petitions and gives a little money, but that's all. I told her it was fine, she's a DOCTOR, she has no TIME, and I told her about how I was trying to do one thing every day. She thanked me, and that made me tear up a little.

I also asked my doctor about whether I should get a booster for the MMR vaccine, since we are heading to southern New Mexico and southwestern Texas where all the measles is/are, so she sent me down to the lab to check my "titers." (The results came back a few days later: I have HUGE immunity to everything. I must have gotten a booster before I had the twins and forgotten about it.)

So I went home and wrote a physical letter to Senator Bill Cassidy of Louisiana, the one senator who almost didn't approve RFK Jr.'s appointment as HHS Secretary. He's a big vaccine guy, so I told him that I think he's the only person in Congress who has RFK Jr.'s ear and to please USE that power and make him hold the flu vaccine meeting. I realize that my letter will probably be thrown away unopened, because it's from Colorado, but you never know...

Tuesday: The comics in the morning paper gave me my idea today. I don't always care for "Non Sequitur," but today it was spot on. I wanted to write the cartoonist, Wiley, a note, but couldn't figure out how to do it. Finally I just wrote a post on BlueSky. (This only shows the first part of the strip; the rest is just Danae plotting to do evil things.)

Not political, but this week's "Frazz" comic also brought me a lot of pleasure. In a series of three strips, a little girl is looking at a picture of a painting in a book. The painting is "Tornado over Kansas" by John Steuart Curry -- a painting that I have on my wall! I've seen the original in the Muskegon Museum of Art! I cut out the three strips and taped them to the bottom of the picture.

Wednesday:  This morning, while I was sitting with my phone in the living room, watching the NextRide app to see that the kids' bus made it to their stop, doing Wordle and Connections, etc., a text came in. I figured it was from Teen B, telling me something that happened on the bus, but it was from my old friend from high school, Z'bet. She sent me the text of a 50501 action called #TheIdesofTrump" where you send Trump a lot of postcards on March 15th. It cheered me up to hear what Z'bet is doing and I told her I would be sure to do it too.

Later, I wrote Congressman Joe Neguse an email thanking him for three things he did recently and encouraging him to work to make sure there's a flu vaccine next year.

Thursday: I decided to write my postcards to Trump today. The only problem was that I'm trying not to be negative in my political tasks. So I wrote very pleasant postcards. For instance, on a postcard from Wind Cave National Park, I asked him if he'd ever been there, that it was a cool place, and that he should preserve it, and not fire all its rangers. For the Mount Rushmore postcard I told him he would never get his face up there if he didn't shape up fast. Things like that.

On our spring break trip I will try to buy a lot more postcards, so I have more to mail to Trump and other people who need to hear from me.

Friday: This was a tricky day. I was encouraged from all over to call my senators and try to get them to vote against the Continuing Resolution. The problem was, I was really afraid of what Trump might do if the government shut down. So I didn't call, I just watched and waited. In the end, they didn't shut down, and I think that was the right decision, although I know it's controversial. Two judges just ordered Trump to rehire all the probationary employees. If they are furloughed, they can't go back to work and get paid. I want them to have a chance.

It was Pi Day, so I bought a peach pie at King Soopers. Should have made a pie from scratch, but too tired (lazy).

For a political task, I followed Representative Jamie Raskin's suggestion to write to DOGE and request my records from them. It's a little scary, of course, because they might choose to target people who write to them. But I figured, better me than most people. If I get my social security canceled, if I'm declared dead, etc., we have time to fight it, I won't just automatically lose my house, like some people would. Then I mailed it at the post office, and my postcards too, a day early, because Saturday was going to be so complicated.

***

There's a blog I follow, called Necromancy Never Pays, and the author, Jeanne Griggs, is a writing teacher/poet who must be just about my age, since she got her BA in 1982. She also has a PhD (in English lit). Anyway, after Trump was elected for the second time she said something like "You all can fight it, I'm done," because she lives in Ohio, which is getting redder and redder, and nobody she supports ever gets elected (JD Vance, euw). And I felt the same way, of course, but since then I've changed my mind and decided to fight back. So I thought I'd look at her blog and see where she is with all that. And sure enough (from February 27th):

It’s easy to give in to despair.... But if I sink down onto my fainting couch and weep “lost, all lost” then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, doesn’t it? I need to get up, like my old cat, on my increasingly wobbly legs and see what all there is for me to do.

That made me smile and keep going.

***

Yesterday (Saturday) I didn't really do anything political because it was such a complicated day. I had to take the kids to get their hair cut (at 11 and 11:30 am), and got into a discussion with our hairdresser about the dreadful Trump-Vance-Zelinskyy mess. Then I had to rush off to King Soopers to buy a last few boxes of Girl Scout cookies before they shut down the sale, then Teen B had to be at the school by 1 pm for the afternoon performance, then I spent the afternoon frantically reading the book group book because my copy was due back at the library, then I had to pick Teen B up at 4:30, then we had to make and eat a quick dinner, then we had to get him to school for the evening performance by 6 pm, then we watched the evening performance from 7 to 9:30, and then home to collapse.

Possibly, attending the performance was a way of supporting trans teens. There are a lot of "they/them" pronouns in the participant bios in the program!

We bought a couple of pieces of chocolate cake at the bake sale after the performance and brought them home -- I really wanted to buy a whole cake, but they'd cut it up before I could do that. (The mom working the sale told me I could have them for $1 each, but I gave her a $10 and told her to keep the change.) Teen B ate one after we got home and I ate the second piece at 2 am, while reading in the living room because I couldn't sleep!

You do what you have to do...

Today I probably won't do anything (political) either, just think about what to do this coming week. The news is sobering, though. I'm trying to think of what to focus on this week and it's so hard to choose. I'm still worried about the flu vaccine, I don't want them to privatize the post office, I'm worried about the deportation of people with green cards who haven't committed any crimes, I'm worried about what's going to happen to university funding, there's always Ukraine, and Gaza, and what on earth are we starting to do in Yemen? 

There's a rally on Friday in Denver that Rocket Boy and I might go to, because Bernie Sanders and AOC are scheduled to attend. It would be fun to see them in person. There's also a teachers' protest on Thursday -- that's not a federal thing, it's protesting cuts to education by the Colorado legislature. I support that strongly too, but not sure I want to go to Denver two days in a row. I'll see. The kids have Thursday off because so many teachers have requested leave that day (to go to the protest). Then they go back to school on Friday, and then we have spring break. We're supposed to leave on our trip next Sunday...

***

One other big thing happened this week. My old professor from grad school, John, who has been on dialysis for some time, had a medical crisis this week and is now off dialysis and on hospice. He has terminal cancer, so he'll probably go fast. We were going to have another Zoom call with him on April 5th, but I think he'll be gone long before then. It's kind of a death watch now.

I knew this was coming, of course. In our last call, he said something about "This dying business is certainly protracted," and he also mentioned that he really had no appetite anymore. We all noted those comments, and yet we still planned another call and I don't think any of us thought this call would be our last. But it seems that it was. 

We all wrote him sweet emails, and we heard that his partner is reading our emails to him. But it's impossible to put into words -- to him, to anybody -- what he's meant to us. One of my friends wrote in her email that she wouldn't have had the academic career she has, were it not for him. I haven't had an academic career, not really, so I couldn't say that, although he certainly prepared me well for one. In the end, I didn't want one. But he was still such a huge influence on me. He was like a third parent. A mentor, people call that sort of person, but John was really like another parent. And I love him dearly.

On Tuesday night, I think it was, I had a vivid dream. But it wasn't about John. It was about another professor I had, Jeff, who I dream about a lot too. When I dream about John, it's usually a dream about how I haven't finished my dissertation yet (the one I finished in 1996) and how are we going to get that done. I'm waiting for one more dream where John tells me it's too late, he can't help me anymore. But I haven't had that dream yet. Instead, I had this very romantic dream about Jeff. In the dream, we were either married or thinking about it. We were hugging and kissing, having sex (in that weird dream way), sleeping in the same bed all wrapped up together. We were so in love. (I didn't tell Rocket Boy about this dream -- he's very tolerant of my dreams, but this might have gone too far.) I woke up and just shook my head. If you knew this professor... well, let's just say the dream had nothing to do with reality. But it was so sweet! And then the next day we got the news about John.

In my email I thanked John for "giving me birds." He's a big birder, and I never went birding when I was in Michigan (didn't want to give him the satisfaction), but as soon as I moved to Colorado I got started. I don't think I would have done that if it hadn't been for John. He's given me so much, but maybe birds are the best thing, because being tuned in to birds has enhanced every moment I spend outdoors (and quite a bit of the time I spend indoors, as well). 

I'm really going to miss him.

***

In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt
The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard
A storm can begin with the flap of a wing
The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting
Every day starts with the tick of a clock
All escapes start with the click of a lock
If you're stuck in your story and want to get out
You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout

 

'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot, you
Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you
If you sit around and let them get on top, you
Won't change a thing