It doesn't feel like Christmas

Week 2 of the plumbing nightmare. Actually, the plumbing has gone pretty well -- it's the "restoration" that's the nightmare. More about that later. Or maybe not. I don't like thinking about it, and I don't like writing about it.

This was a busy week, more than just plumbing. Last Sunday I was worried because Rocket Boy's car wouldn't start and I was afraid he was going to have to use my car to get to work. But he used the battery charger to get his car running and then took it to the store where he bought the battery last summer. They tested it and determined that it was defective! So they replaced it free of charge and his car behaved beautifully all week. See, some good things have been happening.

Monday afternoon, RB was scheduled to meet with the orthopedic surgeon. I wanted to go too, so he came home from work around 1 pm and we went in my car. The news from the surgeon was not exactly what we expected. Basically, as we had learned from RB's MRI, his shoulder is trash, and the only possible treatment is a "reverse shoulder replacement." But there's no rush! Because his muscles are already atrophied -- practically not even there anymore -- you can do the surgery whenever you want. So we decided, tentatively, to wait until spring, when RB will be more accustomed to his job and he won't have to drive in snow, etc. 

After the appointment we went over to Discount Tire and got new all-weather tires for my car (paid for with RB's unemployment money -- he's not getting that anymore, but still has a lot of money on the card that he hasn't spent yet). There was a huge waiting list which we joined at about 2:30 pm, and the car was ready around 6:30 pm. During those four hours we walked to a cafe and had chai, went to the Bookworm and spent a long time browsing, and finally went back to Discount Tire and sat with everyone else, petting people's dogs, looking at our phones, waiting.

But I have new tires! I got Nokians -- it's a Finnish brand. They were cheaper than the Michelins, but supposed to be very very good on ice and snow. So far I absolutely love them. I feel so much better with new tires. They are also very quiet, which I wasn't expecting.

Tuesday was Giving Tuesday and I made a few donations. I do more on Colorado Gives Day, which is this coming week, but for the general giving day I gave $35 to the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, $50 to Mission St. Louis, and $50 to the Desert Tortoise Council. It wasn't much, but it was something. I'm so cross that this plumbing disaster is messing up my giving.

Monday afternoon I had gotten an email saying that the Christmas wreaths that Teen B's high school band was selling as a fundraiser would be ready for pickup on Tuesday between 3:30 and 5:00 pm. Unfortunately I was scheduled to see the oral surgeon in Westminster at 4 pm to check on my implant. And while she's usually on time, that day she wasn't. I was sitting in the chair listening to her talk to another patient who had a lot of complications -- an abscess for which antibiotics were needed, but the first antibiotics hadn't worked, so the oral surgeon prescribed a different antibiotic, and they were about to leave on a trip -- meanwhile, I'm trying to stay calm, taking deep breaths, and watching the minutes tick by on the computer screen hanging above me. Finally at 4:24 she came in to see me. My implant was of course perfect, healing wonderfully, and she'll see me in February. 

Released at last, I drove like a bat out of hell... but a careful bat out of hell... all the way back to Boulder in the beginnings of rush hour traffic, and I made it to the high school by 4:55. I parked, rushed to the door near the band room, and they gave me my wreath. Success!

Then I drove to the Meadows branch library to attend a lecture on KrampusNacht -- and it was canceled. I was going to use that as a treat to reward myself for all the nonsense I'm dealing with, but no.

Wednesday was a snow day! Eight inches of fluffy wet snow! Actually, the schools didn't even have a delayed start time, because Wednesday is Late Start day anyway, so they must have figured that was good enough. Teen B doesn't have class until 11:15 am on Wednesdays, so I drove him (my new tires did wonderfully) and picked him up later. It was fine. Wednesday was also the day the plumber came back to our house and put in a water pressure regulator and a reservoir on top of our water heater (see pic). It was supposed to cost $700, but because of the reservoir and some other things, it ended up being $1225. But I don't care. It feels much better to know that our pipes will probably not burst now.

As soon as they let us back into the rental house, we're going to have the same thing done there, with the same kind of water heater. Maybe in a few days.

On Thursday, Rocket Boy saw his regular doctor to talk about his blood pressure and such. He's been taking lisinopril to lower it, and it was suddenly too low, 100 over 70 or something like that. So for some reason (I wasn't there, just going on RB's imperfect retelling), Dr. J. brought out an EKG machine to observe RB's heart and determined that he has an irregular heartbeat. So now he has to see a cardiologist! I'm trying to remember how when *I* saw a cardiologist, a few years ago, it turned out to be nothing serious. But mostly I'm freaking out, as is my husband. Oh well. He is 71, after all. Stuff starts to happen. But so much stuff! It doesn't seem fair at all.

I'm trying to get started with Christmas, despite all the plumbing madness, but it's hard. I did manage to get all the envelopes (for cards) addressed this week, and on Saturday I took the "letter" to FedEx Office to print it out. Normally this is not hard. I put my flash drive into the machine, punch a few buttons, and it makes perfect copies. But that day, when I arrived, a customer was yelling at the only employee. "You can't treat me like that! The customer is always right!" she screamed. Cringing, I went over to the machine and pushed buttons. It started to print. And then -- oops -- paper jam. "Um, excuse me," I said to the employee, who was still dealing with the crazy woman. Long story short, the machine jammed up at least a dozen times, printing one or two copies and then jamming again. The employee stayed with me, unjamming it over and over. But then about seven people came into the store, all carrying boxes, so she had to go help them. Eventually she printed out the rest of my copies on her private copier. The whole episode took forever. 

Trying to stay positive and Christmassy, trying, trying. 

On Saturday, Rocket Boy and I had tickets for the CU Holiday Concert. I had been only once before, back in 2018, with the twins, when they were ten and impossible, especially Kid A. It was much more pleasant to go with an adult, but there were two little kids sitting in front of us, one a little boy (maybe six?) who kicked the seat in front of him and fidgeted and eventually had to be removed by his father, and I was amused and full of memories of seven years ago.

The music was lovely and I particularly enjoyed the parts where the audience has to stand up and sing along (carols in the beginning and the Hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah at the end). I love to sing the Hallelujah chorus, but those high notes (for the first soprano part) are SO high and my voice is not that high anymore. I was afraid I was annoying the people around me, shrieking away, but afterwards Rocket Boy said, "Well, you do have a pretty voice," (without me prompting him), so I guess it was OK.

Oh, and the best part? I saw a boy in the chorus who I recognized from the Boulder High choir last year. He was one of my favorites. I call him Riff Raff because he reminds me of the character from Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was looking at the chorus -- so far away, and we hadn't brought binoculars -- and suddenly I recognized him (he has a distinctive hairstyle). "It's Riff Raff!" I hissed to Rocket Boy. "Where?" "Second to back row, over on the right." RB found him too. And later I found Riff Raff in the program (I'd forgotten his name, but I found him in the yearbook at home and then checked the program again and there was his name.) Last year, after graduation, Teen B said to me, "You'll never see Riff Raff again." But he was wrong!

Today we did two Christmassy things: we put up the tree (no lights or ornaments yet), and we went to the ChristKindlMarkt aka Christmas Market in Denver at the Auraria campus. Teen B went last year or the year before, with his German class, and had some good hot chocolate and a pretzel, so he wanted to do that again.

It was kind of a ripoff. Well, not kind of. Parking was $16.50 (it would have been $25 if we'd parked in the garage). And everything cost so much. I ended up buying a small pin for $10 (probably would have been $1 anywhere else). Rocket Boy and Teen B each had a plate of spaetzle, $12 each with no sauce. And finally I bought Teen B a skewer of strawberries dipped in chocolate with peppermint bits on top. Five strawberries. $18.50. So, $69 in all, is that right? So ridiculous. Think of all the people and animals (tortoises, birds, etc.) that could have been helped with that money! I don't think I'll ever go there again. Still, it was fun to get out and go somewhere we've never gone. 

I also had a useful talk with Teen B about colleges, because one of the places he's applied is CU Denver -- which is on the Auraria campus, along with Metro State where Teen A wants to go. I said, "If you don't get in to CU Boulder but you do get in to CU Denver and CSU in Fort Collins, which would you choose?" And he said, "CSU." I said, "Even though it's so far away?" And he said "Yes, I don't like Denver."

I'm not sure why we're wasting CU Denver's time, applying there, but anyway, it's good to have choices and he may change his mind. Still, a useful conversation.

So, back home again and facing the plumbing issues. I don't really want to write about it, so I won't. Suffice it to say that we are still dealing with a lot and the week ahead looks horrid. Last night I was having trouble falling asleep, so I invented a little fantasy whereby I left Rocket Boy and the twins and moved into a little studio apartment in Lafayette or Westminster or someplace like that. I imagined choosing a few pieces of silverware, a plate, a glass, and a mug from our collection, and then buying some little chairs at World Market, so as to have a bit of furniture. I decided I would sleep on an air mattress. Anything to get away from what I'm dealing with here.

Oh, it's not so bad. Maybe. I just so badly don't want to deal with it. Today I spent time telling Rocket Boy, earnestly, how much I don't want to deal with it and how awful it makes me feel. He was sympathetic. But what can he really do? He has to go to work. I have to handle it. So I'll try again this week.

What do we have on the schedule for this coming week?

• Monday I'm going to try to work hard on cards. I should have gotten them done last week, but, well...
• Tuesday is Colorado Gives Day, so I'll try to figure out how much I can give away and still be able to pay plumbers and restoration people and whatnot. I'll also do some more work on cards. Tuesday night is the high school choir concert, so Teen B and I will go to that.
• Wednesday I'll try to finish the cards and get them mailed out -- IFFFF the stamps come by then. I stupidly ordered holiday stamps online, not noticing that they wouldn't be delivered until Wednesday at the earliest. Oh well.
• Thursday I might start baking. I have tentatively decided to make nine batches of cookies this year (twelve being too many and six being too few), so I should get started. Or I might go shopping. Ack, I forgot that this is supposed to be shopping week. Oh, for heaven's sake. OK, might need to think about this.
• Friday I could make another batch of cookies. And go shopping. And deal with the restoration people. Or whatever.
• Saturday we have tickets to go to Blossoms of Light -- but it's also the Parade of Lights in downtown Boulder. I thought Teen B wouldn't want to go to the parade, since he didn't want to go last year, but when I mentioned it (after buying the Blossoms tickets) he said, "Oh, no, the parade!" But it's too late to switch our tickets, so we're going to try to go to the parade at 6 pm and then drive rapidly to Denver to go to Blossoms (our tickets are for 8 pm). Whatever. It will be fine.
• And Sunday is the harp concert (I was wrong last week, I said it was today, but it wasn't). It is also the last weekend day before final exams (they have one more day of regular school on Monday and then exams start on Tuesday), so I'm sure I will be spending time that day helping the twins study.

Maybe, by next Sunday, the plumbing problems will all be solved and I'll be on top of everything, cards done, cookies started, presents somehow purchased... probably not. Maybe some of that.

It will be OK. Keep telling myself that. 

The Universe reads my blog

Last Sunday, when I posted, I was so happy about how rich we were going to be, with Rocket Boy's new job. I was going to give money away! I was going to save money, so later on after he retires we can take some neat trips! I was going to happily buy tickets to concerts and for special events.

Later on that day, I got a text from our next-door neighbor/tenant (who is hard of hearing). 

Hey there, the kids are hearing a leak of some sort under the bathroom floor. For the last 2-4 days. Probably should check that out in the crawl space.

The plumber came the next afternoon (Monday). He couldn't fix the leak because the pipes were behind the drywall that was behind the washing machine (in the kitchen). He couldn't cut into the drywall because it might have asbestos. So an environmental testing guy came out and tested. Sure enough: asbestos. That meant we had to do "abatement" before they could cut into the wall and stop the leak. Because the house is a rental, we couldn't do it the quick & dirty way, but rather had to get a permit from the state of Colorado. That takes several days. Meanwhile, we called a "restoration" company that the plumber recommended, because the leak was draining into the crawlspace and making a mess and destroying the floor. They set up fans and filters inside the house and down in the crawlspace. The next day they turned off the water to the house, since the plumbing couldn't be fixed any time soon. So the tenants had to move out. I found an ADA-compliant hotel room for the two disabled tenants and made a 6-day reservation (which will have to be extended). 

But what to do with the tenants' six cats and two iguanas? And what to do about Thanksgiving dinner? The tenant actually owns a house a few miles from here, her childhood home -- she inherited it earlier this year from her father when he died. But it's in bad shape and her middle child, who's in a wheelchair, can't get into most of it, because it's a tri-level. Her eldest child is living there currently, dealing with all its problems, including plumbing problems! They could have Thanksgiving dinner there (the kid in the wheelchair can get into the dining room), but the oven doesn't work, so she couldn't cook the turkey. 

On Wednesday another plumber came and removed the hot water heater, since they will have to replace the floor under it (it's rotted out from the leak). They also pulled out the washing machine and started ripping up the floor underneath it -- and discovered linoleum underneath that probably also had asbestos, so they couldn't go any further until the abatement. (They sent me a quote for the abatement: $14,000. At that point I called our insurance agent. She hasn't called me back yet.) So, Wednesday night, Rocket Boy went over to the house and removed the drywall panel that has asbestos. It was just screwed into the joists, so he didn't have to do any cutting, just unscrewed it. He put it in the backyard. 

The tenant then came back to the house on Thanksgiving and cooked her turkey in the oven, and then took it over to her dad's old house and I guess they had some sort of dinner. But one of the tenant's kids started to freak out about asbestos -- when you removed the panel, did you just release asbestos into the air? What about all the little holes in the wall here and there in the house? Shouldn't we have them ALL tested for asbestos? Shouldn't we have the whole house abated? I started feeling sick. I finally made a good decision and stopped looking at my phone for the rest of the day.

We (somehow, miraculously) had a very nice dinner at our house. We had our usual menu: swordfish with basil-caper butter, mashed potatoes and gravy (which Rocket Boy made), stuffing (which Teen B sort of made), sweet potato casserole, spinach dish, my famous spicy cranberry dish, and Pillsbury crescent rolls (some year I'll make my own yeast rolls, but the family likes these, so we have them). And a pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Teen A normally makes the pie, but he was at his girlfriend's house (helping HER make a pie), so I did it myself. It's fine. 

Last year (I just reread my old blog postings) I was feeling very sick from the shot, barely had the energy to cook dinner, and only ate a tiny amount. This year, having gone down from 10 mg to 7.5 mg, I don't feel sick (except just the tiniest bit at the beginning of the week), I have more energy, and I ate a full plate of food. No seconds, of course, but I think only Teen B had seconds. Rocket Boy ate a lot, though. Teen A ate a big piece of swordfish, a helping of cranberry sauce (I think that's a first), some sweet potatoes and spinach... and then said he was done, and went back to his girlfriend's. Sigh. Rocket Boy and I watched some TV and had a piece of pie. It was fine.

Thursday was also Baby Kitty's 6th birthday, so during the day (before the grocery store closed), Teen B and I walked to the store and bought him a little cake. After dinner we put candles on the cake and sang happy birthday to him and gave him a piece (this may be why he threw up the next morning, or it may have been because he licked the pan that the swordfish was cooked on). Teen A actually didn't leave until after the birthday celebration and later posted a photo of it on his Instagram, to which his girlfriend commented, "Kitty!" (Teen B showed me all this -- I do not have an Instagram account.)

Thursday night I was really depressed. I just didn't see how I could face everybody (the workers, the tenants) on Friday, with Rocket Boy back at work. I came up with a little fantasy where I would just get in my car Friday morning and drive somewhere WITHOUT MY PHONE. I'd stay away for a week or so, then come back. The problem was, it's really hard to manage without a smartphone these days. If I'm at home, I can use the home phone and my computer, but on the road? Could I buy a new phone, I wondered, maybe set up a new number and everything? That seemed more complicated than I could handle. Also, it was going to snow, so I couldn't go north. I'd have to go down to New Mexico or something. Alternatively, I could just drive to the Starbucks near Walmart, order a drink and sit and read my book all day long. And then the next day do the same thing.

Eventually I gave up on that idea and went to sleep. And on Friday, instead of fleeing, I faced reality again. The restoration people just looked at me when I told them what Rocket Boy had done. But it turned out to be a very good thing, because then we could bring the plumber back (the third one we dealt with that week, all from the same company) and he was able to fix the leak and turn the (cold) water back on. Rocket Boy delayed leaving for work until he could talk to the plumber, so that was good. It helped.

Then I went back to our house and discovered that Baby Kitty had thrown up on our bed. But fortunately our comforter is small enough to fit in our washing machine, so I scraped off the vomit, washed it, dried it, and put it back on the bed. 

So now this is where things stand. The leak is fixed, to the tune of $1559. I have no idea how much all this "restoration" is going to cost -- they've never given me a quote. The asbestos abatement will begin, I think, on Thursday, and last maybe four days. Then we have to have the floors torn out and replaced, either by the restoration company or somebody else that we bring in, and then the water heater can be put back in (or maybe a new one, we'll see). And then the tenants can move back in. All that time they're in the hotel, for roughly $120/night. We think we're going to tell them not to pay the December rent, on account of how they haven't been able to use the house properly for weeks, plus their Xcel bill is going to be awful this month, with all the fans and such running full blast 24/7.

We still need to get new tires for my car. I was going to do that this past week, but I needed to be around all the time because workers kept needing to consult with me and I kept having to sign things. Last night, just as we were going to go out to dinner, Rocket Boy's car wouldn't start. He suspects it's because of the cold weather (it was about 20 degrees at the time). This morning when I went out to get the paper, it was 12 degrees on our porch. Now, at 12 noon, it's 17 degrees. Our high is supposed to be 24 degrees today. I told him if his car won't start tomorrow morning, he can take my car, but then I won't have a car, plus he'll be doing all that driving on tires that need to be replaced. Also, I won't be able to drive Teen B to school and won't he be pissed. Maybe we should confiscate the car Teen A drives. So as to piss off both kids. I don't know.

Tomorrow, Rocket Boy finally gets to see the orthopedic surgeon, to discuss what to do about his torn rotator cuff, etc. If it's surgery, he'll be out of commission for a long time. I don't know if he'll be able to keep his job, we'll have to see. I am planning to go to this appointment with him. I said I'd meet him there, so he doesn't have to come pick me up, he can go straight there. If he's driving my car, I can take the bus. 

Like I said, the Universe has my number, reads my blog, something. I should never express joy about having money. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. All of that.

***

So anyway. Other than all that, it wasn't a bad week. LOL. No, seriously, it was fine. The weather was very pleasant until it suddenly got bitterly cold on Friday night (and we woke up to our first tiny snowfall of the year on Saturday). I took some nice walks. Teen B and I finished the book he had to read for school, and both he and his brother finished up their college applications. (We think. Maybe.)

I'm sorry everyone has to go back to school and work tomorrow. It's been nice to have a week off. Rocket Boy didn't have the week off -- he worked every day except Thanksgiving. (If he'd been home, he would have taken that panel off a lot sooner and maybe things would have worked out a little differently.) But he is liking his new job, so that wasn't so bad either.

What do we have planned this coming week?

• Monday is the appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. Maybe I'll make a pot of soup for dinner, I'll see. It's certainly soup weather.
• Tuesday I think they're going to start setting up for the asbestos abatement. At that point the tenants won't be able to go in their house until it's over (maybe a week). At 4 pm I see the oral surgeon again, for a follow-up to be sure I'm healing properly. If I don't have a car, I don't know how I'll get to Westminster. Hmm. A Lyft? That would be expensive. Well, I'll see. At 5:30 pm I was hoping to go to a lecture on Krampusnacht at the Meadows library, but I'll have to see how it goes.
• Wednesday the plumber is coming to OUR house, because our water pressure is too high so there's some part that needs to be replaced. That will cost about $700. We need to do it at the rental house too, but they'll be setting up for the abatement by then, so I'm not sure if we can do it.
• Thursday Rocket Boy sees his regular doctor for a follow-up, not sure I have to go to that.
• Friday is free for now.
• Saturday at 4 pm, Rocket Boy and I are going to the CU holiday concert.
• And next Sunday at 1 pm is the harp concert at the library. 

In between there will be many meetings with workmen and much stress. And much money spending. And homework. The kids only have this week and the next one before final exams, so we have to get all those final projects done. In fact, Teen B and I should work on some of that today, if I can convince him to do it. He guards his free time jealously, so I'll see. Rocket Boy has just discovered that his battery is completely dead, so he's got it on the charger now and we may have to go buy a new battery, sigh. We'll have leftovers again for dinner tonight, and then that should be it for the Thanksgiving food. I'll have to cook again starting Monday (maybe soup, as I said). 

On Friday I said to Rocket Boy that this would have been a lot harder if we weren't getting along, and he agreed. The only thing that's made it bearable, other than knowing we do have sources of money to pay for everything (our retirement funds, the insurance), is the fact that we're not mad at each other. We are happy to be around each other. We respect each other. We love each other. We love our children, despite the weird things that they do. Money comes and money goes, sometimes we're rich and sometimes we're poor. But all that really matters is that we love each other. Am I tempting the Universe again by saying that? I don't care. It's the truth. 

Reading post: November

It's almost the end of November, and I really don't think I'm going to finish another book before midnight tomorrow, so it's time for a reading post. 

November, for me, is a serious month, and I always feel as though my reading should match that. It's a month to read about Native Americans and American history in general. So, instead of randomly drawing books from my "Briefly Noted" envelopes this month, I went through them and picked out books that seemed related to my preferred November themes. I chose about eight books and only read three of them, but that's OK. I might read some of the others in December.

Whiskey Tender by Deborah Jackson Taffa (2024). A memoir by a Native American woman who was raised partly on the Fort Yuma Indian Reservation in southeastern California, and partly in Farmington, New Mexico, on the edge of Navajoland. Her father was Quechan (Yuma) but also partly other tribes, while her mother's family claimed to be Mexican-American but was probably Indian as well. I thought it was a disturbing book, but satisfying, as the author gradually comes to terms with her complicated background and her family's complicated history. The story of Indians in this country after white people got here is such a depressing one, but watching one Indian woman work through all of that is life-affirming.

A Council of Dolls by Mona Susan Power (2023). In this story, by a Dakota author, a series of dolls help support the members of one Dakota family dating back to around 1900 (told in reverse order, from the most recent girl back to her mother and grandmother). Finally we return to the present, where Jesse, at age 50, reconnects with all the dolls of the story and learns something about herself and her family. It was an interesting idea, but I didn't feel like the book really worked, maybe because one character, Jesse's mother, was so badly damaged (from her experiences in Indian boarding school, but maybe other things as well, it's not clear) that she's nasty and unsympathetic. Still, it kept my attention. A sad story.

Cahokia Jazz by Francis Spufford (2023). So fun. A murder mystery set in 1922 in an alternate reality where Indians (the descendants of those who built the Cahokia Mounds in Illinois, across the river from St. Louis) have managed to maintain a kingdom which has since become a state, called Cahokia, consisting of parts of Illinois, Missouri, and some other states around there. (Also, Utah and some of the lands around it are a separate country called Deseret, while Navajoland is a state called Dinetah.) Spufford is not himself Native, he's British, but he's obviously an admirer. Rocket Boy took us to see the Cahokia Mounds on one of our trips to visit him in St. Louis, so this book was really fun for me to read.

 

Best books of the 21st century so far

In November I planned to read a few more books off the New York Times list, those that related to US history if possible, and otherwise just any that appealed to me. I only managed to read one book from the list, though -- too many other things I wanted to read.

Erasure by Percival Everett (2001). OK, I'll admit it: I did not like this book, but at the same time I really liked the author. It's the story of a Black writer, Thelonious "Monk" Ellison, of mostly unread, highbrow fiction, who decides to write a fake stereotypical Black novel (under a fake name and identity) about Black people in "the ghetto." The novel, Fuck, is included within Erasure, and it's actually pretty well written, but at the same time dreadful, and painful to read. Anyway, Ellison gets a huge advance, the movie rights go for $3 million, it's a bestseller... and Ellison goes to pieces. And I couldn't wait for the book to end. But I was impressed by Everett (who also wrote James) and would read more by him. 

So I've now read 57 of the books on the list. Getting close to having read all the books on the list that I want to read. To be honest, I'm tired of this list. A few of the books have been great, but a lot haven't. I probably won't get to 60 after all. I'll see. Maybe a couple more in December.

 

Other reading

Shadow of the Solstice by Anne Hillerman. I saw this at the library and grabbed it -- the latest in the mystery series. And since it's about Native Americans (specifically Navajo), it fit right in with this month's reading. I'm always underimpressed by Anne Hillerman's contributions to the series -- her father was so much the better writer. But I keep reading them. I read some reviews that claimed this was a weak addition to her series, but I actually liked it better than many because of the new character of Mrs. Raymond, who was delightful. Agree with others that it was full of typos and continuity mistakes. Still fun.

The Game of Silence by Louise Erdrich. Last year I read the first book, The Birchbark House, in the series that is Erdrich's answer to Laura Ingalls Wilder. I planned to read the rest of the series eventually, so this month I read book 2. The trouble with these books (based on the author's ancestors), of course, is that really crappy things happened to Indians. I mean, the Ingalls family had a rough life, but the entire American government wasn't out to get them. The government was, however, out to get Erdrich's ancestors. Inconvenient historical facts like that make these books hard to read, but they're still really good. I liked this one a lot, including how it ended, even though it was sad.

Truman by David McCullough. So, having finished with FDR back in September, it was time for Harry S Truman. Rocket Boy bought this gigantic biography at the Truman Library in Independence, Missouri a few years ago, read it, and then gave it to me. I've had it sitting on my bedside table a long time. The book is almost 1000 pages long, so I assigned myself a chapter a day and finished it in 18 days. It was a lot of reading, but McCullough is such a wonderful writer. I'd never given much thought to Harry Truman before. But as someone who believes strongly in doing the right thing, being honest, helping people, etc., I found myself falling in love with Truman, who also believed all those things and (unlike me) acted on his beliefs. What a great guy! Not perfect, but tried so hard. And the comparison with the current incumbent... OMG. Oh well. Truman was an accidental president -- maybe we'll accidentally get another one like him one of these days. Next up (next year): Eisenhower.

Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI by David Grann. This was my book group's choice for the month, and it fit right in with my theme. Such a good book! I know it sounds like the topic is depressing (how ugly white people murdered hundreds of Osage Indians for their oil money in 1920s Oklahoma), but the book is so great. So interesting, easy to read, thought-provoking, important. Highly, highly recommend. I'm going to make Rocket Boy read it too. My only unhappiness is that I can't see the movie, because it's an Apple original movie and they don't allow their stuff to be put on DVD in this country. I'm not going to subscribe to Apple TV+ just to watch the movie, but I'm bummed. Oh well.

Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro. Nothing to do with my themes, but rather a book that Teen B was assigned to read for language arts, so we read it together. It was OK. I don't think either of us thought we'd ever finish it, but we did, a few days ago. I like Ishiguro, and the book had an interesting concept, but it was a little dull. Klara is an Artificial Friend, a robot companion for a lonely child, Josie, whose life she ends up saving. A lot of interesting stuff about how we view technology -- from the technology's point of view, since Klara the AF narrates the novel. 

 

Next month 

In December I like to read Christmas books, of course, and children's books, and maybe some classics. It's also my last chance to read books off the NY Times list, since after this year I think I will be done with that. So it'll be a bit of a mishmash, I expect. But that's fine. It's a busy month, and I'll just read what I can.

November break

November is drawing to a close. We are on Day 2 of the 9-day Thanksgiving break and everyone is still happy and speaking to each other. I am in a pretty good mood, heading into the holidays. Rocket Boy started his job for real this week, commuting to Aurora early in the morning and back in the early evening, AND his first paycheck landed in our account on Friday. For the past six months or so I've been taking monthly distributions from my old TIAA retirement fund, drawing it down to zero before we decide which account to tap next. It will run out in January, I believe. Just in time, Rocket Boy started this job, so we won't need to get into any other money for now. And for about two months, we'll have extra money. We'll be rich! (For two months.) Actually, since RB's paychecks come every two weeks, we'll be rich even after those two months. But for two months we'll be REALLY rich.

I mean, not really. It's not like we can remodel our house or buy a new car or anything. But what it feels like is this: I can buy tickets to the CU Holiday Festival without stressing about the $52 per ticket. (I did that yesterday -- RB and I are going to it on December 6th.) Last night we ate dinner at the Teahouse and I told Teen B that we should come back and go to their Holiday Tea in December. That's expensive, but we could afford it (but I just checked and they're already almost sold out). Teen A plans to take his girlfriend to Blossoms of Light at the Denver Botanic Gardens this coming week and I'm going to pay for that ($25 per person).

There isn't much stuff I want to buy, to be honest. We don't have room in our house for any more stuff. I did get a new coat from Lands End, and I've bought myself some used shirts on eBay. I need a new pair of sneakers (mine have holes in them). The kids always need new shoes, new socks, new underwear, new pants -- but not all at once, there's just this continuous stream of purchases, mostly from Target. We don't buy a lot of Christmas presents anymore, mostly just food and joke presents. There isn't some fancy kind of food I want to buy for our holiday dinners, just the usual. I'm not going to start doing all my shopping at Whole Foods.

One thing we thought of: we're going to get a transponder for Rocket Boy's car so that he can use E-470, the toll road, which should make his commute more bearable. That definitely seems like a worthwhile expenditure.

I'll try my best to save some of the extra money -- so that when Rocket Boy retires again, we can take some trips. And I'll give some of it away. Colorado Gives Day is December 9th, so I'll focus on that. And I keep thinking I want to set up a regular monthly giving thing, like maybe $50/month to EFAA (Emergency Family Assistance Association). But then I think, should it be to them, or maybe it should be to someplace that helps people in Denver. Or St. Louis! I do give money every year to Mission St. Louis. I could give them more? It's really hard to know what to do. But I'll do something.

***

This past week was a very busy one, as I knew it would be. We kicked off the week with me getting an implant in my jaw, to prepare for a fake tooth at some point in the future. I was dreading this, but it was fine. The worst part was the anesthesia -- one of the three shots she gives me hurts so much. But then it was over and I was numb. She had to drill and drill to get the implant in, because (she said) my bone healed so wonderfully well that it was really hard and strong.

They took an x-ray of the implant once it was in and showed me. It looks exactly like a screw. So I go back on December 2nd to check and see that it's healing the way it's supposed to, and then I go back 2 or 3 months later for another check, and if that's OK, then I can tell my new dentist I'm ready for a fake tooth. Such a long, complicated process. But think of the alternative! What if I had done nothing, and all that rot was spreading to my other teeth and they were all hurting and falling out...

Modern dentistry is a miracle. Keep thinking that.

We went to two concerts last week: orchestra on Tuesday and band on Thursday. I love the high school orchestra -- they have a great teacher and they play so well. For their last number, all three orchestras were on stage together and they performed "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne, NOT what you expect a high school orchestra -- or any orchestra -- to perform, ever. It was fantastic. Oh, and for that last piece they also had four electronic instruments: a cello, a viola, and two violins. The cello looked like a praying mantis.

Afterwards there was a bake sale and I bought $5 worth of brownies and cookies. 

The band concert was less wonderful, but I enjoyed the jazz band performances more than I usually do. The band teacher obviously has a preference for his jazz band classes -- Jazz 1&2 played 5 numbers, as did Jazz 3, compared to just three numbers for Concert Band and Wind Ensemble (which Teen B is in). 

And afterwards there was another bake sale and I bought another $5 worth of baked goods. Have to support the kids! 

This afternoon there was a free tuba concert on the Pearl Street Mall at 3:30, so Rocket Boy and I went to that. We parked at the library and then walked over to the courthouse where the concert was. 

Oh my goodness, the concert was wonderful! This is apparently a thing, called Tuba Christmas, that has been going on for 52 years. There are Tuba Christmas performances all over the country and even in some foreign countries. There's going to be one in San Jose on December 14th, so, family, feel free to attend!

They played for about an hour, and our feet got tired of standing, but I still loved every minute of it. There were about 60 musicians there, but the director said that in New York they get as many as a thousand. The instruments represented were tubas, euphoniums, baritones, and a bunch of sousaphones played by CU band members. There were three high school students playing contrabass bugles aka marching tubas, that they hoisted onto their shoulders each time a new group of songs started. There were three double-bell euphoniums, which haven't been made since the 60s. There was a very old instrument in the front row -- possibly a Wagner tuba. Two of the players were only 12 years old, and two or three were in "their 8th decade." Oh, it was so fun. What a way to kick off the holidays.

Attending holiday concerts is quite possibly my favorite thing about the holidays. As I mentioned above, we're going to the CU Holiday Festival concert on December 6th, and then the high school choir concert is December 9th, the Lights of December parade (including marching bands) is December 13th, and the Harp Concert is at the library on December 14th. And if we want to go to the choir concert at the other high school, that's December 18th. And there will undoubtedly be more coming up -- maybe this year we'll go to some of the other things that you have to pay for.

I know there are people who don't like holiday music, who find it annoying. I just smile and figure it takes all kinds to make a world. More seats available for me!

***

It wasn't a great cooking week, simply because of all those concerts. Otherwise it was fine. No disasters.

• Monday I made Sweet Potato Soup with Corn and Chilies, out of the weird Hare Krishna cookbook that my brother-in-law gave us (I gave up on trying to buy asafetida powder and just have been making the recipes without it). This was actually delicious, my favorite of the recipes I've made out of it so far. Probably because I like sweet potatoes so much. We had it with sourdough bread.
• Tuesday was the orchestra concert, so we just had leftovers.
• 
  Wednesday Teen A was supposed to cook something for his LOYO class (Living On Your Own), so he chose his favorite -- Grandma Peg's Goulash. I had to help, but he did a lot of it himself, including cutting up the onion (that's Impossible ground beef in the pan, by the way, not the real stuff). He also went with me to the grocery store earlier that day to shop for ingredients. We had it with frozen mixed vegetables.
• Thursday was the band concert, so we had leftovers.
• Friday I made Vegetables au Gratin from that same cookbook, and it was tasty, but somewhat bizarre. Basically just a cheese sauce poured over vegetables, and I didn't have enough vegetables because Rocket Boy had taken some of them in his lunches. So it was mostly just cheese sauce. Very weird. I served it with soft rolls I bought at King Soopers.

And Saturday we ate out at the Teahouse and tonight is forage night. Rocket Boy and I finished up the cheese sauce thing for lunch today.

This coming week, hmm. Maybe I'll make soup again tomorrow night. Tuesday I have my book group, so leftover soup and foraging would work for the family. Wednesday, I don't know. Something light, maybe sandwiches. And Thursday of course is Thanksgiving. We're having our usual swordfish main course, and all the usual sides. Rocket Boy will make mashed potatoes and gravy, Teen B has volunteered to make the stuffing, and Teen A usually makes the pumpkin pie (but we'll see, this year). I'll make cranberry sauce and sweet potato casserole and spinach dish. It's actually a pretty easy meal -- none of the recipes are hard. 

We don't have anything special planned for the week, other than what I've already mentioned. Rocket Boy has to work every day except Thanksgiving, so we won't be traveling anywhere. Maybe Teen B and I will go to a movie, if we can think of anything. 

We're also trying to do homework every day, and finish up those college applications. 

The other thing that happened this past week is that Rocket Boy got cellulitis again. He came home feeling sick on Tuesday afternoon, took a dose of antibiotics (he always has some on hand these days) and went to bed. He was very sick all day Wednesday. Thursday he worked a partial day, maybe 6 hours. And Friday he was back to normal. So on we go. But that's why I don't really think we'll have this wonderful paycheck for long. He just has too many medical problems to work fulltime with a long commute.  

A week from tomorrow we see the orthopedic surgeon, find out what the prospects are for surgery. Hmm.

Well, anyway, here we go for the last seven days of November. I feel like I've boarded the holiday train and I won't be able to get off it until January. But it's fun. And away we go! 

Mid-November

Past the halfway mark in November and still no snow. It's getting really weird, to be honest. I was wrong when I posted last week that the latest date we've ever had a first snow was in December. That was Denver's latest date. Our latest date is tomorrow, Nov. 17th. And it's not going to snow tomorrow, so we're going to break the record this year. There's a slight chance of rain and snow showers this coming Thursday/Friday, but only slight. We could really use the moisture, whether or not we get actual snow. What state am I living in, anyway? I remember when November was a really cold month.

I bought myself a new winter coat from Lands End a few weeks ago, a Squall 3-in-1 winter parka in spruce. It's something I promised myself I would buy when I lost enough weight. It consists of two pieces -- you can wear either one separately or both together. The week I got it, we were having some cooler weather, and I tried out both parts of it, loved them both. But this week I was too warm even just wearing my hoodie. 

Also a few weeks ago, after getting down my winter clothes, I decided I didn't have enough long-sleeved shirts, and so I started ordering used ones from eBay. I ended up with a beautiful collection of 12 shirts (see photo), five of them new. I already had two green shirts, three blue shirts, a dark red shirt, and a brown shirt, but now I also have a black shirt, another blue shirt, two purple shirts, and another dark red shirt. I'm so happy with them! All the colors I love. Except that all this past week it was too warm to wear them. I've been wearing my short-sleeved shirts instead. 

Tomorrow the high is only supposed to be 59 (today's high was predicted to be 68, but it got into the mid-70s), so I am going to wear a long-sleeved shirt. But 59 -- that's really still so warm for November. It's a strange year.

A lot of special things happened this week, some planned and some unplanned. On Tuesday, Veterans Day, since Rocket Boy had the day off, he and I went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. There was a free exhibit about elephants, so we saw that. I learned a lot about elephants, most of which I've forgotten, but it was interesting. We had a late lunch in the cafeteria, and then we headed for home, because Rocket Boy had a 3 pm appointment to get his new ankle brace, and he wanted to drop me off at home first. But we ran out of time and I had to go to the appointment with him (I stayed in the car and dozed), and by the time we got home it was like 4:30 pm and I was cross with him. So that wasn't good.

But that evening, some wonderful person posted to our neighborhood listserv that the northern lights were visible right that very moment. I went out onto the front porch -- Rocket Boy was just about to drive away to go to Subway -- and I looked north and saw a greenish glow. "The aurora!" I shouted, and he stopped the car and got out and we looked and looked at the faint greenish sky. "We should drive north," he said, but I said, "No, let's just go up to NCAR, you can get a pretty good view of the sky from up there." So we went up to NCAR, as the kids and I have done in the past, trying and failing to see the northern lights. ALL of Boulder seemed to be up there too -- the road was lined with cars, with people standing next to them looking, looking. We parked in the parking lot and looked north. At first we couldn't see anything, but then we saw a red glow. And it moved! and changed! At one point, Rocket Boy and Teen B saw actual curtains of red. I didn't see that, but I saw the moving red glow. Finally it quieted down and we went home.

It was supposed to be visible again Wednesday night, but we had total cloud cover that night, so there was nothing to see. We're so lucky we saw it Tuesday night. Teen A was out (probably with his girlfriend) and missed the whole thing. I texted him, but I guess he didn't see it or didn't go outside. Well, he's young, he'll have more chances to see the aurora, maybe.

Among scheduled things, I saw the oral surgeon last Monday and she said my bone graft looked great and I'm ready for the implant. So, since they had an opening the following Monday, I said sure, let's do it, and that means tomorrow morning I have to drive to Westminster and have the implant put in! I'm a little nervous, but it should be fine. They don't put the fake tooth in, just a titanium screw with a hole in the top where the fake tooth will fit in once I get it. I have to wait until the implant bonds with the tooth and then I can get the fake tooth (but my dentist will do that part).

Speaking of dentists, I saw our new dentist this week too! They had a cancellation and I grabbed it and had my "new patient" appointment and a cleaning on Thursday. Teen B will have his first appointment this coming week, on Tuesday, and we're still waiting on an appointment for Teen A. I love our new dentist SOOO much, and I was delighted to find that my old favorite hygienist (from our previous dentist) now works for him... but I'm worried, because he seems old, as do some of his employees (including that hygienist, who is probably about my age). What if they decide to close the office down in a year or two? From my research he seems to be about four years younger than me. If he works until he's 70, that would be nine years. That would be long enough to get the twins launched at least. I'd just really like some stability with dentists here. If he works until 65, that's only four years, but it's better than nothing.

A last-minute fun thing -- we went to the fall musical at the other high school, even though our next-door neighbor doesn't go there anymore (we think). Teen B expressed interest, so I bought tickets and we went, on Saturday night. And it turned out our next-door neighbor was playing in the pit orchestra, so that was fun, although we didn't see him. The musical was "Bright Star," which was written by Steve Martin and Edie Brickell. I didn't think the story was very impressive. It was actually very confusing. I had read the plot ahead of time, on Wikipedia, but Rocket Boy and Teen B hadn't, and Rocket Boy got hopelessly confused. I had to spend a good part of the intermission explaining to him what just happened. But the music was good, lots of catchy songs, performed very well by the actors and the pit orchestra. 

This coming week we have potentially two concerts to go to: the orchestra concert on Tuesday and the band concert (which of course Teen B will be IN) on Thursday. I like to go to all the concerts, but I don't know if anyone will want to go to the orchestra concert with me. But we'll definitely go to the band concert. Actually, it occurs to me that Rocket Boy might not even be home in time. This week he has to start going to the base for work every day, 8am-5pm, which means 7am-6pm or more, if you include driving time. The band concert starts at 6 pm, and Teen B has to be there by 5:30, so we'll leave home at 5:15. Well, if RB wants to go to the concert, he can come on his own. 

So, anyway, yes, Rocket Boy is planning to go into the office every day this coming week, so that will be very weird. We'll see how it goes. It means I'll have lots of time to myself, which I've been craving, but it also means I'll have to do all the cooking and cleaning and whatnot. I should plan some simple meals. 

I didn't do well with cooking last week at all. I had planned to make meals out of a Hare Krishna cookbook that RB's brother gave us, because he keeps pestering me about whether I've cooked anything from it. He's 73, in late-stage schizophrenia, and I think he's becoming slightly demented. He calls every day, sometimes multiple times, and mainly just wants to know what we're having for dinner. He also tells me what he's having for dinner. I've learned to accept most of his calls, because they don't last long, and all we talk about is food. But anyway, I thought it was time to make use of that cookbook, just so he'd stop pestering me.

• Monday I planned to make "Stir-fried Hokkien Noodles with Asian Greens and Tofu," but I simply could not find Chinese black beans or asafetida powder in any of our grocery stores, so we had a frozen pizza instead.
• Tuesday I again planned to make "Stir-fried Hokkien Noodles with Asian Greens and Tofu," but as mentioned above, we didn't get home until 4:30 pm, so I didn't have time to go out looking for those weird ingredients at specialty stores. So (after the northern lights trip), Rocket Boy picked up Subway sandwiches for himself and Teen B.
• Wednesday I pulled myself together and made "Rice with Green Peas and Almonds" (minus the almonds, which Teen B doesn't like) and "North Indian Curried Cauliflower and Potatoes" which I was distinctly unimpressed by. Rocket Boy thought it was OK, but I prefer all my other curry recipes to this one.
• Thursday I made "Couscous with Vegetable Sauce," which was actually not bad. It was just a bunch of vegetables cooked with curry spices, served over couscous, but the vegetable combo was very good. Zucchini, a bell pepper, a turnip... it called for pumpkin, but I substituted a small butternut squash... a can of chickpeas. I don't know what the secret was, but I liked it.
• Friday we just had leftovers. 
• And Saturday we went to the musical, so we didn't go out to dinner.
• Tonight we're going to do our usual Saturday dinner out, maybe at Chili's. And then Monday I start to cook again... 

I feel like I should keep trying to find the weird ingredients so that I can make the "Stir-fried Hokkien Noodles with Asian Greens and Tofu," because otherwise what am I going to do with the Hokkien noodles that I bought, not to mention the baby bok choy? So maybe tomorrow I'll venture up to north Boulder, where there's an Asian grocery store. Or, after my oral surgery appointment, I could try to find the one in Westminster. Hmm. I'll see.

I didn't do anything political this week. At least the shutdown is over. I'm pissed at the Democrats who caved, but at the same time I'm glad people are getting paid and SNAP benefits are back on, and all that. 

And I didn't do much writing. A little bit. I'm keeping up with my plan to keep track of the weather and at least make notes on how the different days of the story would have gone if it had taken place this month. Like, for instance, today (November 16th) one of the characters, Remi, was having a birthday party at the park, but his mom didn't reserve the shelter because she figured no one would reserve it in mid-November. I went over to the park right at 1 pm, when Remi's birthday party was supposed to start, and sure enough, the picnic shelter was deserted. No one had reserved it. So Remi got lucky, and I made a note of that when I got home.

Of course, as Teen B keeps telling me, Remi doesn't exist, nor do my other characters. But it's still fun.

The leaves are falling (or have fallen)

When Rocket Boy and I went for a walk yesterday afternoon, I was very surprised to come upon a pretty tree, all orange and red and delightful (see picture). But most of the trees have lost their leaves, or are mostly bare. And still no snow. People are starting to worry. There's a chance of rain/snow on Friday, but the low is predicted to be 37 and the high on Saturday 57. Those aren't snow temperatures.

I mean, it's not unusual for it to snow heavily in October (or even September) and then be dry and warm for weeks. But we haven't had that first snow. Over the last ten years, our first snow has occurred in September once, October four times, November four times, and December once. The November snows all occurred in early November (4th or 5th) except one on the 17th. The December first snow was in 2021, the year of the Marshall Fire (which occurred about two weeks after that very very late first snow).

We wanted to get new tires on the Prius v before the first snow this year, but kept putting it off. (We put new tires on Rocket Boy's car back in September.) We might do it this week, Monday or Tuesday. Plenty of time -- no snow in sight.

This past week was an easy week, made easier (kind of) by the fact that Rocket Boy's first day on base did not go as planned. He was there in plenty of time on Monday, but they had misplaced his paperwork and he was given bad directions to his building, and he got there too late for his "indoctrination." So it had to be rescheduled -- for the week after this coming one.

When he walked back into the house around 10:30 am, I thought it was one of the kids having some sort of emergency. And when I realized it was him, and he looked depressed, I thought maybe he'd been fired. But no, just working from home for two more weeks. That's when I started to get angry. Not so much at him -- how could I be? None of it was his fault. Just at the universe, I guess. I wanted my time alone! I was so happy that morning -- he was off at his new job, the twins were at school, and I had the house to myself. I had so many plans! And then he came home and wrecked them all (unintentionally). I couldn't tell him how disappointed I was -- it would have hurt his feelings. But I was in a bad mood for a couple of days about it. Tuesday was the worst. By Wednesday I was doing better. And on we go. 

It did make it easier, not having him getting up in the dark every morning and all that. We are doing our best to go to bed earlier -- 11:30 most nights, with the goal of moving that back to 11 when he really starts commuting. That means I have to get the house put to bed sooner, feed the cats when they want to be fed, all that, if I want to have time to read in bed (which I do). I've learned that I don't have to send the twins to bed before I go to bed. They are capable of turning off the lights by themselves. (I just make sure the doors are locked.) Also, if we go to bed and turn off our light, they're more likely to go to bed too -- more likely than if I run around saying, "Guys, it's bedtime, come on, let's go to bed," etc., etc. Nagging doesn't work -- actions work.

Tuesday, we enjoyed hearing about the election results. Too bad more people/things weren't on the ballot, but I was happy about Virginia and New Jersey and Pennsylvania and Georgia and Mississippi and of course California. And even Colorado! Free lunch lives! Also, the Boulder City Council will be a little more moderate now, although my least favorite council member, Nicole Speer, was unfortunately reelected. I would have preferred her fellow progressive, Lauren Folkerts, but I didn't vote for either of them, so can't really say anything. 

It was a relatively quiet week, otherwise. No appointments, other than one massage for RB (his poor leg). Both twins had a cold (which I may or may not be catching). Cooking went OK. I guess.

• Monday we had Brenda's sticky tofu (because it's a new month) and broccoli. I made a double recipe and for once we had leftovers -- which Rocket Boy ate for lunch the next day, infuriating Teen B who was planning to have them for dinner.
• Tuesday we had salmon, rice, and roasted butternut squash (diced, tossed with olive oil and garlic, sprinkled with parmesan, roasted in the oven for an hour). I accidentally bought brown basmati rice, so it wasn't done when we took it out of the steamer, so had to put it back in with more water, and the squash took longer than everything else, and Teen B complained because we were having salmon again and WHY DID DAD HAVE TO EAT THE LEFTOVER BRENDA'S TOFU, and I wanted to kill every single member of my family. Imagine complaining about salmon when there are people in this country who can't even afford basic groceries.
• Wednesday we had Baked Tomato Pasta with Harissa and Halloumi (NY Times recipe), which I thought was delicious, but Teen B didn't like it ("too tomato-y" -- he doesn't like tomatoes) and Teen A refused to try it.
• Thursday we had leftovers, which neither twin ate.
• Friday I made Roasted Veggie Enchilada Casserole (from Cookie & Kate). Teen B had a little, Teen A was out somewhere and skipped it. Rocket Boy and I ate it (it's a good recipe, just takes a lot of time because you have to roast the veggies first -- I do that in the morning). 

Saturday we ate out at the Gondolier (Teen A's choice). I had soup and salad, both were OK, and because I had a small meal I treated myself to dessert (they have good desserts there, especially the creme brulee). Teen A had the creme brulee and Teen B had spumoni ice cream (I told him about how much his grandfather, RB's dad, liked spumoni). I chose a "special" dessert -- a pumpkin crumble cake (see pic) -- but it wasn't very good. Too dense, almost impossible to cut with a fork. I ate maybe a third of it. Always disappointing to spend $8 on a not very good dessert, especially when there are all those people out there who can't afford groceries.

I think I must start giving money to food banks. Maybe I could do $25/week? I keep telling myself this, just have to start. Could be a goal for this coming week.

Tonight is Forage Night, so we can finish up the enchilada casserole. And then tomorrow is Monday and I will have to think of five more meals that my family will complain about and/or not eat.

In the NY Times, someone wrote to the Ethicist recently to ask if it was ethical for her to resign from cooking after 35 years (children grown, both she and her husband are retired). The ethicist actually said no -- she needed to find a way to keep making meals in order to preserve her marriage (OK, I'm paraphrasing, but that was the message). The comments section EXPLODED, with most of the women saying Holy Shit, Ethicist, what century were you born in? and most of the men saying Yeah, that's right, cooking is easy compared with lawn care, it's her duty to keep going. I almost had a heart attack, reading the comments.

Oh well. Maybe someday I can give up cooking, but not yet.

The one other exciting thing that happened this week was that Teen A didn't come home Friday night. I was very sleepy and turned off my light before midnight (Rocket Boy was on his pump, so couldn't turn off until it finished). I was aware that Teen A wasn't home, but I wasn't worried. Around 7 am (we were both still asleep) we heard the door open. So he stayed out all night, I thought to myself. He came in, took a shower, and crashed on the living room couch. Later, when I got up, I opened the curtains and turned on the light in the living room, so he fled to his bedroom, where he slept until, I don't know, 1:30 pm or so. 

I tried to talk to him about it later, but didn't get very far. He won't tell me whose house he stayed at (he'd sent me a text at 5:43 am which I didn't see until later, apologizing, and saying he was staying at a friend's). We spent a lot of time teasing him about it when we went out to dinner Saturday night, but didn't get any more information out of him. 

I know a lot of people would punish a teenager who did this, but I just have no energy for that. There's no evidence of drug or alcohol use (which of course doesn't mean he isn't using). No more police visits. I keep counting the days until he turns 18 (at which point I feel like I don't have to care so much). Bad mom. Tired mom.

Yesterday, Rocket Boy and I did some errands together. We went to McGuckin's, which was an absolute madhouse. Everyone in Boulder seemed to be there, including our next-door neighbor. We eventually figured out (actually, our neighbor told us) that it was "Free bucket day" -- grab a large plastic bucket and whatever you can fit into it is 20% off. So I bought a box of Christmas cards and a bag of mint M&Ms and a few other things. Rocket Boy got a new rug for a section of the living room floor that doesn't have a rug on it already. Then we went to Trader Joe's, which was also a madhouse (never go to Trader Joe's on a Saturday afternoon) and got various things. 

Even though everything was crowded, it felt nice to be out and about with my husband and everyone else in Boulder on a lovely sunny November Saturday. And then we went for our walk. This is the upside of no snow yet.

So, the week ahead. Monday and Tuesday are holidays for the twins, but Rocket Boy will have to "work" on Monday. I have to go back to the oral surgeon on Monday, find out if my mouth is ready for an implant, so that will be interesting. 

Other than that, I don't think there's anything on the calendar. Homework, cooking, laundry, cleaning, dishes, cat care, reading, maybe a little writing. I had one good writing day this past week -- I think it was Thursday. Yes, Thursday. I just decided the morning was for writing, never mind all that other nonsense. I wrote maybe 1000 words, maybe 800, I don't know, I don't keep track, but it was very enjoyable. I know I can't do that every day, or even every weekday, but it's nice to have a good writing day once in a while.